just cucked him and want some help

My sissy is GAY! I told hubby this weekend I know he is gay and I think thats why I went out and started fucking guys behind his back which lead to cucking him. I took away all male undrewear, and toiletries, I keep him shaved eyes to toes and in panties and perfumes 24/7. I also have his admission that he lves the sight of hard cock and loves the feeling of them pumping loads down his throat. We have come to a very valuable place in our relionship we both knew something for a long time and have Finallly come to terms with it so we can now focus soley on me and my lovers cock. My lover is not BI or Gay and will not allow sissy to touch him but if I meet a guy who wants that Jess will take everything the my lover and I would ask. Gay is okay . It has opened up a whole new world for us...... Just my 2 cents .... Jeanne
I have finally decided to take control (total) and have sissy in panties daily lock sissy in her CB 6000s for good. No more feeling sorry after a few weeks and no more giving into her pleas for mercy! Welcome the NEW MISTRESS!

wow, I hadn't visited this site in quite a while. I read over some of the stuff I posted back when I first started fooling around on my husband. Exciting memories. Had a couple of insightfull coments from people. Still seems like a tremendous number of fake people and fantasy folks. Anyway, hope everyone is still having fun.

Rachel

Rachel,
What about you?
Are you still having fun?

rachel ive been reading your post on and off for quite a while and it was partly down to you that i was abel to talk to my wife and come clean about the cuckold life style that was eating at me for a number of years we roll play alot but she has not saw fit to take it any further at the moment but the box is now open and i can talk and submit to her quite freely now so thank you for my sanity
dez

It seems like yesterday that I was asking for advice and dealing with guilt and frustration and wondering how this lifestyle would work out. I've actually been cuckolding my husband for close to three years now. Thats how long ago I started this post. I've met some wonderful people too. For those of you who've read my entries in the past: an update. Alex and I are still married, but we've become, to some extent, a marriage of friendship/convienience. We certainly don't have the spark of a regular married couple. I just don't see Alex that way anymore. I have no sexual feelings for him. I've seen him do too many unmanly, demeaning things to ever look upon him as someone I'd want to spread my legs for. Having said that, I do still have sexual contact with him and he actually got to fuck me four or five times last year. I do that for him. It's not for me and I don't take much out of it. Alex has become an absolute mistro with his tongue. I'll give him that. He can give head like nobody else. I have made Alex wear a condom for the past two years or so when he does get to have sex. Matt is now in a serious relationship with another woman. I don't blame him for wanting to have a woman without the baggage of a husband. I'm happy for him on most levels but I miss what we had. I still see him around and if I read body language properly, I haven't felt Matt's big dick in me for the last time, but it's been about 11 months since we've been together. I have a new steady lover that I just recently became comfortable enough with that we've dispensed with the condoms. His name is Brian. He is and he has a streak of latin/puerto rican in him. (OMG!! so sexy!) he isn't as big in the bulge as Matt, but he's not far off. And he's got some hip moves that are out of this world. I also have a guy I've gotten with a few times from work. He's actually an employee of one of the contractors that does some work for my company. He's a big man, and looks a bit burly, but he's a good lover and he's got the biggest dick I've ever had. 9+ inches and uncircumcised, swear to god. I can hardly handle him. He's not a regular thing. Lives too far away. Maybe more later.

Rachel

thanks

Hi everybody, hi mred4682
....and welcome back Rachel



Sad for whom? For her: I don't think so, unless i cann't read between the lines. I think she is enjoying her freedom, at least that's what the subtext is telling me, when i read her talking about the cocks she's enjoying now.

Or you mean "sad for her" because of Matt?
And how about Alex? Maybe he's the big winner in their new lifestyle? Only he can tell us about it! Many cucks are dreaming to be in his place, which i still cann't understand. I wonder if he still wears his cock cage



Ah, your talking about them as a couple. Well, only they can tell us about it. And i hope read more from them

Rachel - Way to go girl!
My wife and I are still happily married after more than 25 years. I know she would love to find a great lover someday and we both know that won't be me! However, we are planning to be happily in love for the rest of our lives. Hopefully you and hubby will come to the same understanding.
I was wondering - have you ever thought about a live-in lover that would essentially become a second husband and provide you with the sex and passion that you crave? This would definitely change the dynamics between you and your husband. There is the likelihood that your new lover would become the primary man in your life but if the bond between you and your husband is strong and your husband is strong enough to handle the fact that he was second but you were happy and still in love with him too then that might be a great solution. My wife and I have discussed this possibility and I think it would be a viable future for us. Men need to quit being so possessive and accept the viable alternatives of our future relationships.

sandi's boy

Sad? yes and no. Let this be a warning to all of you fantasy-wannabes. Your wife WILL NOT respect you if you talk her into taking a lover. It may be subtle, it may not be instantaneous, and your relationship may become even stronger in other ways (ours has), but she will not view you the same ever again. Little girls don't grow up playing dominatrix. They don't dream of having a sniveling wimp of a husband who eats cum and watches her screw other men. We dream of having a rugged stud sweep us off our feet and romancing us and taking care of us. A nice big package is a wonderful bonus, but not the primary consideration. Then we get married to the man we think fits the bill and only later realize that he wants to be humiliated and act like a fuckin wimp. PATHETIC. Thats what we think....and only then does the thing you all love to fantasize about actually come into play... yeah, I didn't really care that he wasn't huge between the legs, but now that he isn't so romantic, he's 20 pounds heavier, he acts like a pussy, and he eats other men's sperm out of my pussy...now that tiny dick is a problem. I deserve more. And you're damn right I'm enjoying getting it. And I'm only too happy to fuck with my husband and rub it in that he doesn't have what it takes to do the job.

Having said that: he's a wonderful provider and husband. He's a terrific man (which is why I won't have a live-in lover like someone suggested. not with kids in the house). And he is still my closest friend. I just don't see him the same way I did when we got married and I never will again. That can't be repaired.

I don't mean to sound like a downer. We both love the fun, especially me. Sometimes it gets very rough on Alex. I can be very cruel mentally and deny him release after getting him all the way to the verge of cumming. Sometimes I do it just because I resent him being a cuckold instead of the man I thought he was when we married. I give him blue balls and fuck his pain and discomfort for a while. punishment for not being a man and giving me a normal life. I still have regrets about that. Part of me still longs for the normal white picket fence lifestyle.

Rachel, does Alex feel the same loss you do?

Rachel's last post is very instructional. The whole cuckold fantasy brings nothing but destruction to a relationship when brought into reality. It just isn't viable. I'm smart enough to know that if this happened for real in my relationship, I would gut my wife and her lover like a fish after I ejacualted. After ejaculation, the whole fantasy washes away. That's why it will never happen in our relationship. My wife has already compared me to some big dicked lovers she's had in the past, and that's all I can take. I haven't seen a man yet that's worthy of her outside of myself, and that's something both my wife and I agree on.

Hello everydody, hi manray,

I think that the wife-husband relationship was destroyed the day Alex told Rachel about his fantasy (plz Rachel correct me if i'm wrong). Since that day they have been having a hotwife-cuckold relationship, he's an ultimate cuckold for long time. It's too late now for talking about how sad the wife-husband relation ended. If that's what Alex realy wanted, then it's OK, if not then it's realy sad, but too late , i hope that the good sex will compensate ruined marriage for Rachel, because i think if she's not happy then she's the real victim and not Alex. He's they one who started it and i think that Alex had alot of opportunities to stop it and save the last drops of respect his wife had for him, he didn't even try to resist Matt at all, remember the dog bowl and the first cock cage experience. He could have stoped it after the first time Rachel had sex with Matt and considerd it a onetime half-swinging, but instead he let himself sink deeper and deeper... from wearing pantyhose to sucking Matt's cock... the whole program, who knows what other things he did . I would like to know what Alex thinks about the whole development, esp. the cooling-off period that Rachel talked about, in which he's not allowed to ejaculate for a few days after seeing his wife having sex with someone else. I hope for him that he's still enjoying it. He should be very thankful for having a wife like Rachel who loves him. I asked her a few months ago if she would have sex with Alex again, and she said that she would if he needed it. I think she kept her word. She gave him sex a few times in the last year

Hi everybody, hi mred4682
(am i the only polite one who greets all here ? ... just kidding, i like all of you)

mred, i disagree respectfully. I think that Rachel ( i'm not her advocate ;) ) is absolutely right concerning the size thing, after all it's how she feels and we cann't read her thoughts. It's indeed very plausible. She, if i understood her right (i'm neither her shrink ), hates (i hope that "hate" is not too rough here) what he became. As she said, a small penis was no problem, but his offense fetish and because he feels himself inferior to Matt and co. because of his size, all that won't allow her to see him as equal anymore and you cann't repair that. Even with a horse penis and that self-esteem you won't be able to satisfy any woman!

** Spoiler Alert, cucks skip the next paragraph **
The woman feels lust in the first 10 cm ( 3.937 inch for our anglo-saxon friends ) of the vagina. A very larg penis will fill her upto the cervix in which she doesn't feel lust, she just feels filled up. These are medical facts, other than that, this woman needs a new "licence". So my theory is that it's all in your head, unless your are smaller that 10 cm (3.937 inch), then no one can help you
I think it's all about the girth and self-confidence. I read somewhere (please believe me without demanding links and sources ) that the most sold dildos and the smaller ones... but maybe because she can better hide it in her purse!
****

I hope i don't sound like a know-it-all smart ass because i meant it seriously. Having a small penis doesn't make you a cuckold, it's the offense fetish, and the ultimate offense is stepping aside to let another man fuck your wife and them lick his cum out of her pussy, sucking his cock after that is the cherry on the cake. Otherwise you could be a swinger.

I hope i didn't offense anyone and that you bare my theories and i hope that we won't ruin Rachel's thread with our psychiatric disscusion eps. that i've never read any medicine textbook in my life

mk;

So my theory is that it's all in your head

Never forget, that's where all the best sex starts! Sex, as a physical need, is rather akin to scratching yourself when you itch - it feels really good, especially if you've itched for a long time without being able to do anything about it...but beyond that the truly great experience of sex will always be in your mind.

The visual stimuli of seeing a big, throbbing cock, then feeling it 'filling you up' as you described it, perhaps making you feel like a tight virgin powerfully taken, knowing that this tightness will feel really great for him as well...etc etc. Big cocks make a difference beyond mere nerve cell stimulation.

Besides, there's probably a significant positive correlation between girth and length. Sure, there will always be exceptions to the rule, but on average I would think this holds true. How many 10 inch pencil dicks have you seen? Not so many, I should think!


In any case, this probably isn't very relevant to the thread as such, so I'll leave it at that.

this is just my lunch hour, so I don't have time to be long winded, but the comments about 10cm and not feeling lust beyond that....what a load of crap. Medical facts? are you kidding?! whoever wrote those facts hasn't been impaled by a THICK 9 inch dick. So damn full I can't go anywhere. Feeling like I'm gonna split in half. NO way can my mind wander to other people, places or things I have to do. Nothing exists but the monster invading me and making me gasp for breath.

I never got that out of a 10cm cocklet. Respectfully, take your medical facts and thow em out the window!! And everyone who thinks my marriage is ruined is wrong. We are still very much married. I love my husband. The dynamic has just changed.

Rachel,
I just wanted to post in support of you and your husbands relationship. I agree that not everyone can understand the new dynamic which your relationship has risen to. But I do find it thrilling to read about the progress of your love with your husband.

Regarding your earlier post about how once a wife has cuckolded her husband she will lose all respect for him, I have a question. Do you think that most of the reamister is because of the humiliating situational presentation your husband submitted to in your marriage? Or, is the loss of respect more tied into his voluntary surrender of you sexually and the self-implied role that your lover is greater which he created by asking you to cuck him in the first place? Or is it something else entirely.

Thank you in advance for your insight.

Hi everyone, hi Rachel



no, i'm not kidding. Maybe i'll put it this way:
Thought experiment: The vagina ( the G-Spot is within the first 5cm) and the clitoris are anesthetized, the biggest cock won't bring to you orgasm.
These are medical facts, ask your gynocologist.
(i hope i not makeing a fool of self this time )



This is the sitiuation in your case, other woman won't enjoy a very big dick. But i'm neither rude nor stupid to tell a woman where and how she should feel about an 9inch dick. In my case for example, i have average length but extra ordinary girth, so i could only dream of anal sex with the women i had, and i once was told by an exgirlfriend:"i'm not a snake and i cann't separate my jaw from my skull to take that in my mount" (maybe not a zoological fact, only a quote). Button line: this is subjective.



Respectfully i won't. A penis which is longer than 10cm is technically able of bringing a woman to orgasm, and that is a general fact which doesn't have to apply to your case. I didn't intend discussing how you or other women feel about big and small dicks. I was trying to construct the following logical chain without being a smart ass:
1- small dick =/=> (doesn't imply) being a cuckold
2- only a small dick is (as a mathematician would say) NOT necessary NOR a sufficient condition to become a cuckold

Read what mred posted, this is independent of your and the cocklet of Alex. Maybe it shouldn't be in posted here.

In my opinion, which i don't impose on anyone, a cuckold is a brain thing, it is a fetish, it's not about physique. You said that Alex small cock, initially didn't make you long for a bigger one. Now, after you've tasted red, his small cock isn't good anymore.

I won't be talking about this issue again, this is general and this thread is not the right place for it.



I'm very happy you made that clear again.

It's pretty clear you have no respect for your husband and resent him for what he's become from the text I've put in bold from your statement. I don't know how you can state otherwise.

I suddenly remember why I stopped posting on this site. It seems that some of you think you understand my feelings, emotions and the dynamics of my marriage better than I do. I bet that I probably burst some bubbles by speaking openly about the realities of living a cuckold lifestyle. some of you are no doubt, full of crap about your experiences and may have never had the first bit of cuckolding.

mred: you've said this twice now and not quoted me properly either time: I said I still love my husband. I did not say we are still very much 'in love'. There is a difference. I love my sister too, but I am not 'in love' with her. I used to be 'in love' with my husband. I am not sure that I am now. He is my partner, friend and mate. but not my lover.

okay: I'm not sure how many different ways I can explain this: Respect. I DO respect my husband. I respect him as a man, provider, friend, life partner, and as an individual. We share a home and every day responsibilities. I DON'T respect him in the bedroom at all. I can keep them seperate for the most part. Every now and then I feel remorse or resentment toward him that carries over to other aspects of life. Keep in mind that I make love to my lover maybe 7 or 8 times per month. That is far less often than most fantasy junkies would like to hear. Reality check. life isn't always as cool as you'd like to believe. I'm not a cheap-trick slut with my legs permanently pinned back and my ankles by my ears waiting to be fucked. So for 20 something days each month I'm not focused on my husband as a wimp or a cuckold. It doesn't come into the equation on an every day basis.

mk79: I'm not trying to argue with you, but unless you're a woman you should stop trying to pass off your 10cm b.s. as good info. Go ask 1,000 women if 10 cm is sufficient. I'd rather be stuffed full and ripped apart my a massive prick and not cum than have 5 orgasms with a little dick that simply rubbs my clit. That is lust! not your technical medical manual mumbo jumbo. get real!

Rachel,

Thank you for your posts. Your input is valued by many here, and helpful. I just sent you a PM. Please read it.

Hi everybody, hi Rachel,
what i posted was addressed to mred, because i misunderstood him and didn't read all what he said carefully, so i was talking mainly about the "small-cock<->cuckold" relation not the "small-cock<->good-sex". Maybe i didn't explain it the right way, but i wrote more than once, that i'm not suggesting your favorite cock size and how you should feel about it. So just ignore my bullcuckolds brownie, as you call it. Either way it's off-topic.

This topic is one of the most read ones here, a few more and you'll beat ValGal with her "Loosing interest in hubby"
A lot of people are interested in your story, because most of us think that it's a real one and not a fantasy. That's why some people are worried or even scared that they will face the same thing, others are willing and looking forward to having the same development. This forum helps many people out there and they are thankful to read real life stories. I used to have an affair with a married woman. I'v never said any thing bad about a woman before, i'll always find something positive about her, but i failed with this one, she was really ugly, i was blind and aroused by the idea that i'm fucking a married woman. Her husband knew about it, but he was helpless and could not stop her. When i started reading in cuckoldplace, i realized that that has nothing to do with cuckolding, maybe literary but not like most of the people here define it and by that i mean that the husband is part of the game.
In fantasy it maybe fantastic, but it was not, it was real and i felt bad and ashamed and i never saw her again but i always think about her husband and feel bad for him. Now, i know that the situation is different between you and Alex. Anyway when people read about you and Alex they start thinking about their own wishes and fantasies, maybe before or after they touch themselves between the legs. The cuckolds maybe need to be re assured, that their wives will still love them and the to-be bulls, that they won't ruin a marriage. So please don't be hard on your readers and be patient with us

Well you all have to realize that just because rachel's situation and feelings are what they are, doesn't mean that other hot wives will always end up feeling that way or having that kind of relationship with their husbands.

Not all cucks suck in bed, and not all wives get into the cuck lifestyle as much as rachel here has.

well, I thought I'd write a quick note. It's about six a.m. and I'm just getting home. You probably know what that means. Yep, I didn't spend last night at home. Last night I stayed at Brian's place. When I do that I have to be home early, before the kids leave. That way they don't really know I was gone overnight. I can hear Alex stirring around upstairs so he''ll probably be coming downstairs soon and wanting to know about my evening. I may let him lick me a bit. It'll be nice and gross for him. Left over and used and I haven't showered since yesterday morning. I do love my life on days when I stay with Brian.

People are not complicated or unique. They are all painfully same. None are exempt from Maslow's Hierarchy of needs.

If a cuck wannabe has this fantasy to such an extreme that he actually wants to introduce another male into his relationship, it is critical that the wife not spend time alone with the other so called "superior male". They must not spend time alone where they can cultivate a sexual emotional relationship with each other. The wife will fall in love, and at that point, the other male will dictate the power dynamic in the relationship. As has been pointed out by Val Gal and Rachel, there is a loss of respect. A woman may put up with a male that she doesn't respect in her home to take care of her kids or be a friend, but you have relinquished your role as the primary male/husband in the relationship.

If a male with this fantasy must see it come true, the "Bull" should enter and then leave after the act is over (always in the presence of the husband), so there is minimal social contact between him and the wife. If you let your wife date another man, stick a fork in yourself because you're done. Women are not looking for a guy to be dirt under their feet.

There are aspects of being a cuck that are almost spiritual: The desire to lose oneself in the service of others, the deconstruction of the ego, to give yourself totally to the uses of another without regard to your own desires. They say you must lose yourself in the service of others in order to find yourself, but in this case if you lose yourself, you may in the end, find yourself alone. WOMEN DO NOT WANT THESE QUALITIES IN A MAN period.

thanks

It's unfortunate that you fail to see the point of my post.

Being a "cuck" does not imply offense, denial, comparimister, ego destruction, servitude, losing yourself, finding yourself or any other kind of spiritual endeavour.

Like many intense sexual explorations, cuck play has the potential for changing your relationships and threatening the self, but that doesn't mean that it *has* to be that way, permanently. It's important that you be mindful of the differences between reality and fantasy, and whether the "reality" of a cuck-themed play pushes you in a direction you don't want to go, for your own health and happiness.

If you choose to have scenes and relationships as intense as rachel here has, then yes there is an inevitability to the direction of the change in your relationship with your wife. My point was that if you don't want to lose your wife's sexual respect, then you need to not be sexually inadequate, and your wife needs to be intelligent enough to understand the difference between "Bull sex" (the scenario) and the Bull's permister. There are times when a fantasy, idea, feelings and situation can cause an event or relationship to build in ways that do not reflect the permister, but rather the environment as a whole.

Given the way that rachel and her husband played, how intensely and how "lifestyle" and long term they made the relationships, it was inevitable that she would begin to feel this way about her husband, sexually. Power of association, sexually charged feelings and sustained attitudes and trains of thought. It's unfortunate that he decided to reinpower his own sexual inadequacies and allow her to "date" rather than just role play in specific circumstances.

I'm off to work shortly, but I thought I'd share a few thoughts. I've had a wonderfull few days. I spent last Thursday night with Brian, which I mentioned the other day, and Brian stayed at our house on Saturday night. The kids stayed with their grandparents. It was very nice to relax in my own bed with my lover. My husband dutifully slept on the couch downstairs. Alex really got along pretty well with Matt, but he doesn't like Brian very much. I'm sure that makes it more painful for him when Brian takes me.
My husband made dinner for the three of us; thick strip steaks for Brian and I and a couple of hotdogs for himself. That wasn't his choice. It was actually Brian's idea. He grilled steaks and set the table and put out a nice bottle of wine. Alex served us and then sat and ate with us. I rubbed Brian's crotch with my foot during dinner. I was very obvious about it and Alex knew exactly was happening. My husband has learned over the past couple of years to be very very self depricating in the presence of my lovers. It's one of the things that I find so repugnant and at the same time erotic. Watching my husband bow his head and ask my lover by name, if his dinner was okay and if there is anything else he can get him is still weird. I look at my husband as a weakling and it makes me want to be taken by Brian, the one who is acting like a man should. I demanded a long time ago, and now have a standing rule that Alex thank Matt (and now Brian) by name at the beginning of an evening for being man enough to handle the situation and for taking care of my needs and not being weirded out by the situation. The thank you's have gotten less formal over time, but I know they are much more humiliating and painful now because Alex doesn't really like Brian. After the meal Alex did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while Brian and I chatted and relaxed a bit. Brian sent my husband out to rent a movie for us when he was finished in the kitchen. When Alex returned he interupted me giving Brian a blow job. We were sitting on the sofa with the TV on to some sports station. Brian's pants were down around his ankles. Alex froze when he saw me on my knees on the floor in front of Brian. His eyes were glued to us. Brian met my husband's gaze and told him to put the movie in the machine. I asked Alex if he liked what he saw. He nodded. I asked him if he wished he weren't locked in his chastity tube. (he still has one. its a new one. not the one Matt bought) He wears it only on days when we have a scheduled evening. He has a two day cooling off period before he can cum after my lovers are over. I've explained that before. He said he was becoming uncomfortable. It gets that way when his dick tries to get hard inside the tube. It makes his whole crotch bulge out sorta like his erection is occurring inside his pelvis. I told him I didn't mind him being uncomfortable and I told him to come sit on the floor behind me rub me. Alex sat on the floor and put his hand between my legs and rubbed my pussy through my panties. He stuck his fingers in me and made me moan. As I got excited I really got into sucking on Brian. When he came it was a bunch. I swallowed a little but some went down the wrong pipe and I started to fetish. I grabbed one of the sheets my husband had brought down for himself to make up the sofa bed and I spit a huge mouthful of sperm into it. I wiped a bit more off my face and a few drops off my chest. A couple drops fell on my sundress and wouldn't really wipe up. The sheet I grabbed was actually the pillow case that Alex brought down. I told Alex he could go ahead and use it anyway; no sense dirtying up a second pillow case. We watched a movie and went to bed. By the time Brian slid inside me that evening I was so hot I don't think I lasted but 5 minutes of so before I was cumming all over his thick cock. He shot a load inside me and we drifted off to relax. Alex slept all night with his head on a pillowcase covered with Brian's sperm. There was a bit of it dried in his hair Sunday morning. It was a fun weekend.

I am the permister who wrote this mail yesterday.

Rachel : since you have taken the initiative to publish my initial mail and your response, I assume that a possible public debate is open.
To who ever - if any - wants to participate : please let it be productive without any kind of permisteral attack towards anyone expressing his/her point of view.


My answer to your mail :

I definately agree that many men would like to trade places with your husband. Still, if many people have the same symptoms, this does not detract from the seriousness and dangerousness of their situation, and most importantly, this does not explain the phenomenon.


In fact my questions remain open, particularly in relation to:

1- the dangerous side of such a presentation and the risks that it has no forseen limits except the total physical and mental decline of your husband

2- the fact that love, like the one we carry towards our youngren, can not a priori accommodate with such a degradation of human dignity,

3 - the fact that your husband, like a consenting adult who's committing suicide or like a have addict, would need help rather than just someone who's meeting his immediate needs, these same needs that are causing his downfall.

Again, what I am seeking through these questions is to understand such relations, without any kind of moral judgment.
etoileh2003

I guess this is the million-dollar question, isn't it? How dangerous it can be. How damaging to the self. How one can revert Maslow's hierarchy of needs and come unbrowniehed.

Because this is what all cuck-wannabees, and even cucks in cuckold relationships (and their cuckolding wives, and their bulls) really want: no real permanent harm to anyone. Or am I wrong?

Although the cuck fetish is not per se masochistic, it certainly is very close to it; my guess is that cucks who don't want to be dominated and/or humiliated are a minority. Now: how does someone explain masochism (including presentation and similar fetishes here) if one accepts Maslow's hierarchy? Who has really managed to explain it in any way, since Krafft-Ebing suggested the word? Freud tried (first repressed homosexuality, then 'death wish'--he wasn't wrong only about women, you know); Sartre tried ('the For-itself -- consciousness -- wants to reduce itself to Nothing so as to drown in the abyss of the Other's subjectivity'; something there, but how does this relate to sex?), Deleuze responded ('eternally delaying the pleasure'; tsk-tsk...); academic feminism considered sadomasochism as a 'natural development of patriarchy' (also for men? puhleease...)...

And of course the masochist/cuck/submissive may often -- maybe inevitably -- wonder if there is "something wrong" with him/her. 'This can't be really healthy, right?'

So what is it then? Is the very fact of being a cuck-wannabee evidence of 'something wrong' that needs therapy? Or could it be that the whole story is much more complicated?... Speaking as a cuck-wannabee myself, who had to struggle with the 'is there something fundamentally wrong with me?' theory,

Rachel, your story is very interesting to me because, just like ValGal in her own thread, you claim to have lost interest in your husband while at the same time loving him in other ways. You said you can separate the 'sexual self' from the permister stuff, so you can really admire him, say, as a man (and share other things with him perhaps? taste in music? work? sports? politics? etc...), while at the same time totally despising him as a sexual permister. Here is where I see a difference between you and ValGal--you actually seem to sincerely despise your husband's cuckold desires, while ValGal (as far as I understand) does not. (Your situation is very reminiscent of that of the author of "Maria's diary" at The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

From ValGal's post, I saw that it is possible to lose sexual interest in someone without ceasing to love him/her. But the interest in the permister remained, and ValGal -- if I read her correctly -- is every bit as interested in the permister her husband is, every bit as "in love" with him, as she always was, despite the changed dynamics, despite the fact that she'll never actually have sex with him anymore. Unlike you, ValGal apparently does not despise anything at all in her husband; she just doesn't want sex with him anymore. Please note that I am NOT criticizing you or your husband, Rachel; you, like everybody else, have the right to live your lives as you see fit. (From my perspective as a cuck-wannabee, the kind of relationship you have is so delightful and wonderful!)

In your case, unlike ValGal (and like the Maria in Maria's diary), you do despise certain aspects of the permister your husband is--the sexual parts. Yet you are not indifferent to his fantasies; in fact, again unlike ValGal, you actually find it erotic to humiliate him. Could I say that, to the extent that you enjoy his offense, you still are having a sex life with him? Note the detail with which you describe his predicament: almost like a painter talking about the painting s/he created; with, well, love. This suggests to me that there is more erotic connection between you and your husband than there is between ValGal and hers (again, no judgment of ValGal is implied here). After all, as anybody knows, sex isn't 'penetration'; sex is a game played in the mind that involves pretty much everything else in the body as pawns.

Do you feel strongly connected to your husband in non-sexual ways -- not simply as a man to your youngren and/or provider, but in other kinds of ways? (You mentioned that, since you have sex with your lovers only about 7 or 8 times per month, you get over 20 days in which little thought is given to his 'wimpy cuck' situation doesn't get much attention; do the two of you feel connected in other ways in these days?) Or does the contempt for your husband's manliness or lack thereof spill also into these other areas? (You've already said you can separate these things well; I guess I am just looking for confirmation.)

In the ValGal thread, I remember the participation of a psychologist who claimed to be a specialist in alternative lifestyles. He claimed that cuckold relationships in which intimacy between the partners was lost (I think he even specifically said sex) tend to move towards divorce as the submissive partner ends up looking like the very object of their fantasies -- a worthless being, unworthy of being loved -- to the dominant partner.

I guess this is what I am afraid of in my own desires. Perhaps other posters also feel this way. Which is why I am asking so many questions in such a long post here -- please forgive me if I exaggerate. So: how do you feel about the future of your relationship? Do you see yourself getting old with your husband? Do you see growth for yourself and for him in your relationship?

I'll stop here. If I'm asking too much, feel free not to respond. And in any way, please believe that I admire people who can live their dreams--and you seem to be doing that.

If you read the current research about the social behaviors of mountain gorillas in africa, you will see that silver backs tolerate their female's affairs. Intelligent human males understand the tactic too.

When I was young and did not understand women I tried to keep my mates from being alone with other men. Very jealous.

At around 30 I realized that you cannot fight the ocean or a woman's desires. Both are doomed to failure.

Remaining interesting to your mate is the key to your happiness IMO.

Sometimes when I get cut off in traffic and then get out of the car and tell the guy off she complains at the time and then screws my brains out when we get home.

Other times she mentions how romantic a co workers mate was with flowers or a note and I get no sex advances until I surprise her with a romantic act that her co-workers witness.

Me wearing a chastity device for her is just that, for her. If she sees that most of your behavior is to satisfy your needs, then she will question the relationship.

Humans females are inherently self centered IMO.

It is a main reamister we thrive as a species.