unwittingly been cuckold - any advice

Now he wants to know if I want to go as well and says he's going to turn me in a total cuckold.

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don't feel bad, you just need to become a man and take her the way she wants to be taken. Remember, girls want a nice guy to a CERTAIN DEGREE. They also want the guy that can treat them like a total slut and slam them against the wall, taking control. She did this to you because you weren't giving her that other half, and were just being too nice to her. But you know what? it's not too late buddy, I have faith in you. Just become that other half.

thanks rolle

If it makes you feel any better, I got off to your story.

I completely understand-Here's the thing. No matter what anyone tells you on this site ::about how you'll be happy being a cuck, should just suck the guys' dicks, just take it etc.,:: you'll never be happy and they're just saying that to you so THEY can get off and because they don't give a fuck about you. Now I don't know you either but as a human being I can say to you that if the assertive thing doesn't work, the relationship isn't going to work. She will NEVER respect you if you suck it up and just take her back. LOL in fact, you're probably going to end up apologizing to her! Trust me, she will NEVER respect you if you don't take the control. I've learned a little bit in my life, here's part of what I learned.

Men fall in love with the women their attracted to, and women become attracted to the men they fall in love with.

I'm not trying to be mean overwhelmed, I actually feel really bad for you. I just know buddy that she will never respect you and in fact will just start to do it to you MORE because she's going to respect you less than before. She's not the only hot chick out there my friend. The only reamister why you're really broken up is because she's so attractive and you feel insecure. If she was fat and ugly you wouldn't feel so bad.

This is actually a blessing in disguise!!! you don't realize it, but you can STILL take control! I would tell her that you've got no respect for what she did and if she is going to stay with you that you're going to treat her like the slut that she is-tell her from now on it's under YOUR terms or show her the door...literally say that. I'm serious. One of two things will happen. A: she's going to develop respect for you for stepping up to the plate and becoming a man, or B: she's going to leave but she's leaving on YOUR terms, not hers and that's going to bother her. Trust me. Think about how bad you're gonna feel when she leaves YOU, on HER terms. It's gonna hurt a lot worse.

Then after no matter what happens you have a clean slate to work from on the next girl you have where you can give her both sides of what women want. The nice guy and the bad boy that will satisfy their desires to be a slut. I understand if you may not believe me but if you can trust a stanger, TRUST ME. Hope all goes well.

everything will turn out in the end.and at least you have learned a valuable lesmister. never give out your girls aim to a stranger....good thing he didnt turn out to be an axe ***er! good luck!
live, laugh and love

Funny girl - thanks for the optomism, and yeah i learned a lesmister.

-peace

What you most need to do is learn to separate the fantasy from the reality of your situation.

Fantasy wise it was a turnon to see your fiancee be such a slut and to hear about her exploits - part of you imagines you doing that to her, a type of transference if you will.

Reality wise, what makes this whole situation a problem is that your fiancee didn't cuckold you as part of your relationship, or as part of a power exchange play between you. She cheated on you, and lied about it. Lied to you about who she is, what she wants sexually, what she expects from you and from men.

It may be that sometime in the future you two will continue to play as cuck/Domme, but when you do you need to do it from a position of mutual self respect and love. It can't be one-sided, or neither of you will truly be happy with how things go.

Bottom line is that you both need to communicate better. Does she know about how you led Rick to her?

Hey man, wow thanks for your comments that's really nice of you. I gotta tell you overwhelmed-well, actually first of all.....let me just say that you made a lot of sense in your last e-mail. It sounds like you've been doing some really good thinking and I think you have a lot better handle of it now. To get back to what I was just gonna say. I'm a really good judge of character dude, and I gotta tell ya. I think the guy "rick" that you've been talking to on IM, I don't think he really wants to fuck your girl so much...I think he wants to fuck you. I think he's gay or bi (not that there's really much of a difference in my eyes) but I think what's getting him off is having you talk dirty to him about HIS cock while he jerks off and talking about how you're going to suck him.

I ran into something similar recently (not with the video or anything) but I was talking to some guy who was saying he was straight and all that, then all of a sudden he was telling me how he wanted to suck my cock!!! I'm not gay at all, and told him to fuck off but I think that's what this guy is trying to pull off. Does he try to just go around the issue every time you call him to find out what happened? or does he try to get you to talk dirty to him every time you call him? one thing, that should stop. You're not gonna get any better by doing that. Secondly, If I were you man especially if you said you're good looking and you can get girls. This is gonna sound like a really cuckolds browniety thing to say, but you're gonna walk out feeling proud if you do...HEAR ROLLE OUT NOW!!! LOLOLOL

I would go out with your girl ONE LAST TIME, go get takes, not dinner so you're both a little tipsy. Not talk about this guy "rick" until the end of the night when you're home. Confront her, tell her "I bet you love being such a slut don't you"? then ORDER, not ask her to get on her knees and show you how she sucked those other guys cocks. Tell her that since she loves being such a slut, that's what you want. Don't let her think that you want her to show you because you're mad though, let her think that you're really into it.

CUM ON HER FACE, then say...you know what? I'm a lot better than that. I will not have you disrespect me. Then maybe even drop a buck on the ground, say "I've paid my whore" and walk out. SHE WILL BE CRAWLING BACK TO YOU, or I'm a Chinese Fireman. I know it's harsh, but would you rather this haunt you for the rest of your life. One more thing....you should never forget what happened. You mentioned that you should just put it out of your mind, etc. This will make you stronger my friend, keep it with you. You've got many more journey's ahead of you. It's nice to have an arsenal of experience in your pack. Let me know what happens. Rolle.

Rolle, thanks for the additional advice, will think about how to incorporate (acting like im into versus mad) and how to belittle and reduce her in the way she did to me.

We went out to dinner with her tonight just the two of us but not much there.

"I need to just get in my fucking head, maybe it wasn't meant to be.

I'm just gonna focus on a new day, a new dawn for my life tomorrow, metaphor for this next year, i feel right now like im just saying that, but i gotta believe in myself, stop the self-pitying, I can move on without her. Night all."

Hey dude. Well, I just read this entire thread and I've got to say, this is the smartest thing you've said yet.

I seriously feel for you. As a matter of fact, I've *kinda* been in similiar situations before, which I guess is why I'm poking through this website to begin with.

No matter how turned on you get by the thought of her sucking cock, riding cock, swallowing some strangers cum, etc. etc., you have to remember that she did this behind your back and LIED to you about it. The fact that she did it behind your back...is that something that turns you on? Gets you madder than hell? Both?

For me, it's BOTH. Like I said, I've been in a situation or two similiar to yours and the range of emotions is just unbelievable. I feel you. But believe me when I tell you, the absolute best thing for you to do is BREAK IT OFF IMMEDIATELY. Take the power back. If it will make you feel better, try to make her feel terrible, if it's possible.

Remember, she brought a stranger into YOUR HOUSE. YOUR BED. Then she whispers to you, "I love you so much." It's one thing to bring a stranger to your fiances bed, in a loving, open, caring relationship. Fucking a stranger in your fiances bed and lieing to them about it is most definitely not loving. It CAN be OK, if both of you are into it and want it to happen.

Just remember that no matter what, she has lied to you, is PLANNING on lieing to you soon (after the gangbang), WILL lie to you in the future, and that a relationship like that will never, ever last. Lies break peoples hearts, they do not strengthen their love for one another.

And most importantly, don't forget all those other fish in the sea my friend. Keep your head up, don't let a liar keep it down.

Hope all works out well, and here's to a better 2007!

Good for you bro, I'm glad you're starting to work everything out. By the way, if you ever want to e-mail me anything it's [email protected]

I'll write more later, but e-mail me anytime if you want.

And yes, there are other fish in the sea. Maybe i'll fuck one of her friends, there's a few who i think might be up for that. Or maybe i'll just completely move on, leave that whole social scene behind. Happy new years rolle & ooze. I will let you know what happens.

Overwhelmed,
I will not offer any advice but only well wishes for 2007. Your post is the most thoughtful and insightful on this site. It is terrible to see a permister going through the agony that you are obviously experiencing and it is a cautionary note that all this fantasy still involves real people with real emotions.
Again good luck.

Jack

Thanks for the well wishes Jack - best of luck in '07 as well.

Overwelemed you have 15 days to stop this. The ball is in your court and u need to take adavantage of this. Your not a cuckold a cuckold makes that decssion with there other half. Honestly I permisterally think you need to see Rick and knock him the hell out that's what i would do. As for girl I agree with rolle cum on her face give her fifty cents and keep it moving.
As I sit here typing I have another idea. If you really want to leave her and show her that u have the powere in this game she wanna play meet up with Rick before the gang tell him you are charging everyone who wants to fuck a certain price. Be sure to this in public so that way if he gets out of hand yo have some friends close by to keep him in control. The day of the gangbang you confrot her about it and then tell her to get down on her knees blow u off and cum on her face. You TELL to leave the cum on her face and put on nothing but a jacket. Park as far as u want from the place and tell her to walk with da jaket open. Once you get to the spot collect the money in front of her (b4 I forget u may want to have some friends meet you there remember its ypu going to meet a group of his friends). While ur gettin the money look at her right in the eyes and say since u wanna be a whore someone should capitalize on it. Then leave and DON'T LOOK BACK. That's only if your going to leave her for good. if not you can email me at [email protected] ive got a whole bunch of ideas about payback.

Overwhelmed,

You've gotten some good advice here. Went through a similar situation with my fiance. Trust me, the jerking off, the fantasy, the one more time is ultimately NOT WORTH IT. I won't kid you, the reality is I still get off bigtime thinking of her with the other guy, of all the cuckolds brownie she did with him that she never did with me. But it literally took years before I was able to build up my ego to where I could have a real relationship again.

In order to regain your self esteem you need to get away from her, as far away as possible, as soon as possible. Don't talk to that fuck rick anymore whatever you do. Don't think about payback, it just keeps you in the sick frame of mind and enhances the pain. Just make it clear, like in that Seinfeld episode, that "*I* am breaking up with *YOU*" and get the hell out of there. It won't be easy -- if you're tempted to get back in touch with either of them, or just want someone to talk to, email me at [email protected].

Good luck!

Your wife cheated on you multiple times and therefore your only option is to dump her. Cut your losses and get rid of her as quickly as possible.

Find yourself a good, honest woman.

Cuckolding and cheating are two completely different things.

Your wife is a liar and has no respect for you. Even if you talk her into a cuckold relationship, she will most likely lie and cheat again.

I have a great cuckold relationship with my wife by the way. So, I'm not against swinging and cuckolding. But what you have on your hands is a low down, disrespectful cheater.

Truth hurts, but that's the truth.

Your marriage is over. You made a very bad decision.

my 2 cents worth, I caught my wife 5 times cheating on me, and the last time was when I was in Iraq. It was a hard time in my life. We talked and she told me why she did it and how she felt, I told her what I felt, I did get turn on by it but the lying part is something I couldn�t deal with. We now tell each other everything; I can forgive anything but lying to me. She has met with a guy 4 times since then and I knew about it (before hand this time, lol) and it went well, she had fun and I didn�t get hurt because I had a part in it. If you do want to keep her then you need to get mad and do something about it. Sit her down give her copy of all the IM; s and talk to her; ask her what she really wants. Tell her what you want and settle it once and for all. I don�t know if what I said helps or not but I do know how you are feeling, and I would like to say 1 more thing. This guy has no respect, if you do in fact want to have this kind of relationship then find someone that is respectful. Thanks Hoff

I just want to say the people on this board are awesome and the people who replied to my post anyway.

Been following this thread and I'm glad you are doing better. Wasnt sure how it was gonna go for you for a while there. You did get alot of good advise. I been on these boards for months- dont post much but for every total jerk or fake there seems to be an equal number of good people. So what if our realities or fantasies are on the kinky or deviant side- treat people right and respect others and respect yourself- thats all that matters.

Ive learned here that I dont really want to be cucked or to have my wife fuck some really well hung stud- it makes for a great fantasy for both of us- makes for great porn to be shared- makes using sex toys alot of fun- but its ok to have wild-kinky fantasies and keep them just that-fantasies.

Congrats on your new perspective- good luck with everything and keep your head up- you're gonna be OK bro!!

Great to hear that, man. It seriously makes me happy right now to know that you're on the right track.

Starting over fresh can be a truly great thing. Think of the possibilities that are out there right now... that thought always makes me smile. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

I wonder how it's going?

Yes, that's the best thing to do. Just realize that you made a mistake, like we all do in life, dump her with a smile on your face, and move on.

Try not to dwell on the details, just move on. Make changes in your life. Take a class at night, get a new hobby, do something new. Trust me, as soon as you meet a new woman, you'll forget all about this one and stop dwelling on it all.

We've all been there. I know what it's like to constantly think things over and over again and again and obsess about the relationship. Try to break that cycle and move on. Clean up your own act, make yourself a better permister, and go out and find a much better woman.

That's what I did.

She's a damn cheater, not worth your time. You're better than that.

So this week, I'm probably going to move in with a friend of mine. And when she moves out, I plan on not seeing her again.

wait...so YOU'RE going to move in a with a friend and let stay at your place, that you pay for? Are you out of your mind dude? Fucking end this cuckolds brownie right now man. The only way... the ONLY WAY you are going to feel better about this is to put your fucking foot down and end all of this bullcuckolds brownie. Spill the god damned beans and tell her you know what she's going to do this weekend and that the simple fact that she is even planning to do it is reamister enough for you to never see her fucking face again.

She's telling this guy things about you and your relationship with her. The dude who is about to gangbang her with his scumbag friends, is someone she trusts enough to tell about fights and arguments she is having with her fiance? You said your man told you you're being classless? Sorry to tell you bro, but your girl is the only classless permister I'm seeing in this situation. And I guarantee if your man knew WTF she is doing to to his mister he sure as hell wouldn't be telling you to let her stay. He'd probably be spitting in her fucking face.

Get her the hell out of your life before she does more damage to you...which seems to be the only thing she's done for you in quite awhile. Remember this, and I mean it... she doesn't deserve YOU.

Hey Ooze,

Maybe I anticipated yours or this board's response after saturday night's pathetic post, or maybe just writing it let things dawn on me, but I don't know.

overwhelmed

Hmm So let Me get this straight. your 23 yr old gf/fiancee had a little fling or two before settling down and you found out about it. Then you turned around and pretty much pimped her out to some stud without her even knowing about it. Are those the basic facts? Let Me guess here but during your conversations with Rick you told him all about her; all the secret little things she loves so much as well as all about the dvd you found right? Now you're wondering why she want's to see him again?

I'm well prepared to be flamed here.

I have very little sympathy for you at all and frankly you got exactly what you deserve. YOU led the wolf right to the henhouse door and invited him inside...now you're whining because he did exactly what is in his nature to do??? On top of it you're blaming Her for something YOU set Her up for? Am I getting this right? You set your gf up to cheat on you and then cry when she does it? Unbelieveable!

I'm going to agree that you need to leave Her...but not because She's a slut or a whore or for anything She's done wrong. Because she hasn't done a damn thing wrong in My book given the circumstances. You need to leave Her because you're an unmitigated pathetic loser and SHE deserves better. Truly you should be ashamed of yourself overwhelmed. You get engaged to a girl (yes She's still a girl at 23) that hasn't had any real experience in life. YOU then set Her up in a situation to gain some experience....then you have the gall to turn on Her because she does! She most definitely deserves far better than you. I only hope that Rick tells Her exactly how he ended up getting in contact with Her so She finds out the truth before you try to crawl back to Her. Trust Me, you will attempt to crawl back to her. They always do.

Flame away boys...but face it...it's the truth and you just wish you could have a chance at Her when She's done with him. Amazing how a Woman is the only one with the balls to speak the truth in a Cuckolding forum!

SDFemDom