On the fence, any advice?

A little background first: I'm in a loveless marriage and am in a relationshop with a woman 7 or so years my junior. Before I go further this a commited relationshop thats full of passion and we have an active sex life. Trouble is she goes to college 1200 or so miles away. We have talked about marriage more than once and we fully intend to get married when I am divorced (cant come soon enough but due to financial restraints hasnt happend yet) and she graduates college. I brought up the idea of open relationships a couple of years ago and while neither of us have really acted on it she has had a takesen indiscretion & I have had sex a few times with my wife & lady of my 2 kids. My girlfriend was a virgin (truthfully) when we met, and continued to be for more than a year into our relationship.

Here and now: My girlfriend has been recently been very interested in pursuing sex outside of our relationship. We've fought a little recently since there is so munch going on in our lives and are so far apart and I think part of that is why she wants to play. While I dont blame her for wanting the attention of a man, I think an open relationship first has to be based on a strong relationship and secondly I think it should be done fully together and not while we're 1200 miles apart.

THe question: Not looking for any graphic opinions but what does everyone here think? Is it unreamisterable to want to wait until we've been together solid for a year before any hotwifery takes place? Once again I am not opposed to an open relationship, more so towards a swinging lifestle but still open, I just think we need to first be solid & have no doubts as to why we are doing this.

I think you should definitely follow your gut on this. My wife and I are still at the beginning of exploring the cuckold lifestyle, and we've chosen to do that with a VERY strong base of trust, and we still find that there is always something you don't expect. The rules are still being hammered out as we go and each step takes being honest with each other. In fact, she just recently broke my trust, and we are having to deal with that. Its hard not to be hurt by it, but we have to find a way to talk about it openly or it will destroy us.

I think the above situation sounds too rocky to start such behavior, in my opinion. But I also find that every couple is different. My indication is that if you don't feel 100% awesome about her fucking other men, than you need to tell her, and if she doesn't want to be 100% honest with you, you need to re-evaluate the relationship (and its okay if this isn't the last time you do that).

It sounds like you are scared to losing here to another dude when you are away?
What you should do is depending on how strong the love is betwine you guys... But if i had a new girlfriend it would be much easier to do it from the beginning i think... If i was singel today and i have to make a choice of to types of girlfriends i whould choose the slutty one infront of the non slutty, even if she was going for other dicks and u know it from the first day....

Hope this help

I am but im not, we've been through a lot together and I think we genuinely trust each other. The worry I have is her sudden change in attitude about finding someone & also her motivation for doing it since I want her to do it for herself but allow me to enjoy it along the way. For a long time she refused to be interested in being with anyone else and then all of the sudden she asked how to find the hookup section on craigslist... I think that'd set off an alarm in anybodies head.

ANother thought going through my head is since this is her last semester in school, is she wanting to do this since its her last months of being single? I'd love to hear from women on this topic as well so I can gather a full perspective.

I think you're right about her motivation being misguided. Remember the transition from college to the "real world" is extremely difficult. She's dealing with a lot of stress and emotion right now.

Any other takes or points of view? Thanks everybody that's replied so far, your advice hasn't fallen on deaf ears.

School is the easiest place to get laid.

Since she is leaving school soon, most of those people she will never see again.

It's a great place and time for her to try new things like basketball players.

been there- done that.
an open relationship that is also a "long-distance" relationship WILL fall apart.
you can have long-distance, or you can have an "open" relationship.
Try for both, and, within a year- it will fail.
I'm in the army- I see this happen once a month, at least! Without the re-enpowerment of constant contact, an open relationship will dissolve in time.