First time blues, 2 days later?

Hi All,

I was cucked for the very first time on Friday night when my girlfriend encouraged me to ask the taxi driver in for a 'take' - she led him into the kitchen by the hand and started french kissing him while I opened some wine and changed clothes into something slinky and very slutty. It was exhilirating at the time, and I even got to slip a condom onto his black cock with my mouth, although he came very quickly so I didn't get the full experience of seeing & hearing her being properly fucked, but it was a shocking and exciting thing just seeing her be so tender and affectionate with a total stranger. At the time, I absolutely LOVED it.

BUT I was shocked when a couple of days later I had something of a dive emotionally and experienced very deep shame and regret, and am frightened that it will take some time to recover from seeing her being so affectionate, despite her doing it at my insistence for months now, and that she insists she was doing it for me all along.

Has this been the experience of others?
Is this what they mean by 'be careful what you wish for'?
Why has it taken me 4 days before I can even get a hard-on with her on my own?

I'm very confused, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

mred4682 is right guys think of it as just sex. My wife has to "know the guy first" have some sort of "bond" with him. While it is just sex my experience is that for women there needs to be some type of emotional bond. When guys see that emotional bond acted out it is less thrilling for us.

As for taking 4 days to get an erection that happens to me also. I have two theories. They contradict each other so I'm not sure which one or if both applies.

The first time I watched my wife mount a guy and slid his cock into her pussy was a total rush and a let down. I could feel part of me inside loose the thought that MY cock in MY wife was special. It took awhile after that night to get an erection without some mention of her fucking another guy.

Which leads me to ... part of the turn on is the excitement and the adrenalin that comes from watching my wife fuck. It is the single biggest turn on possible for me. My erections are there strongest when watching or talking about her fucking other men. Anything less then that rush and it's difficult for me to get turned on.

Finally, mred4682 is spot on when he says you can't blame her. She is going through the similar thoughts as you (the rush vs the let down). So don't make rash decisions. Since it appears the actual act was a complete turn on for both of you let this down time level out before you make any permanent decisions on whether to continue with this adventure. My guess is it won't be long before you are dying to watch her get fucked properly.

Thanks for the support both of you, it's greatly appreciated.

i don't blame her AT ALL. if anything I blame myself more, for not being able to see through the emotional difficulty without it affecting my entire being: I literally felt like her pussy was no longer my territory, and I was worried that she'd lose respect for me in our day to day lives, when she needs a strong man to rely on.

We'll talk some more I'm sure, as it hit us both with quite a shock and is still reverberating a bit: we are letting the dust settle before we examine it
much more - it really is more complicated than I ever thought it would be!

I am frightened that we'll do it again and struggle for days later once more to recover, unless we both simply resign ourselves to me being a permanent sissy, which isn't quite how I feel when I'm not dressed as one.

Hmmmm. Plenty of food for thought i think, but I just can't stop getting horny thinking about it and masturbating all the time about it - yet after I come, the feelings of remorse return. perhaps I should simply go into chastity to keep up the passion for it?

Your sex life doesn't have to be your day to day life. Just because your a sissy in the bedroom your wife can still respect you as a man outside. And just because you enjoyed sucking cock doesn't mean you are a sissy.

I don't ejaculate for 48 hours prior to one of her play dates. I'm afraid if I do I won't be in the mood for her to play.It is similar to some of the other posts here about wanting to lick your own cum out of your wife's pussy until you ejaculate then you loose all desire to do so.

For me, the more she fucks other men the shorter the down time has gotten. I've gotten more secure with the whole thing.

The day after... Yes, it's like that. Both my girlfriend and I felt really weird, "raw" the morning after and it lasted the whole day. Perhaps also because of little relax and a bit of a hangover. But once that faded it was very hot to talk about it. We had a lot of sex in the following week... To compensate, I guess.

Second, third etc. time, no such raw feeling afterwards. Just horny.

I'm wondering how much of a role ******* had to play in this case. If you did things you were not emotionally prepared to do, that could lead to feelings of remorse afterwards. Just a thought.