Too much to deal with

I have long had an interest in this sort of thing. But it has always been just a fetish. I never really wanted to be a cuckold, especially not with my girlfriend with whom I am in love. It was just a fantasy. But I recently found out that she fucked somebody else. I know the guy. He is a friend of mine, or at least I thought he was. He is black, which makes me feel more uncomfortable because I have heard all of the myths. I have no idea how big he is. I am just under six inches and my girlfriend has never complained. She tells me it was a "mistake", and that it "won't happen again". But I don't know if I believe her.

It's fucked up because I always thought this might be exciting but it just makes me feel sick. I am takes so that is the only reamister I am writing this. Here are some pics, since others are enjoying her you might aswell.

Hey skeeler,

Relax.

Why don't you use this opportunity to finally realize your fantasy? Tell her that since she told you the story, you have been turned on by it. Tell her to describe the sex she had the next time she gives you a blowjob or the next time you fuck her.

Then, hide in the closet and have her fuck him again. You'll love it and so will she.

Have some backbone for Christ's sake. Live a little.

I don't think you understand what he's saying. There's a line between fantasy and reality and this is it. He's not REALLY comfortable with it.

Truthfully, don't BELIEVE the myth's and don't believe that she did it because it felt better.

Look back, look at where you were when this was happening, were you two close at the time? How about her? Are there any issues you know she hasn't worked on?

Truthfully, it sounds like more of a fling with her, she probably did it, regrets it but loves you.

Most of the posts you read about women ranting about men's size and how much they LOVE the bigger guy's are, in fact, lies and most of those porn site's with 24 inch cock's are straight lie's, photoshopped out the wazoo.

If your woman is still with you she probably LOVES you. I've never had a problem with making a woman cum yet, even I know it's never about each and every orgasm for a woman, sex is a connection to woman, not a mean's to an end.

Believe it or not, if she leave's you, unless she's a whore, It's not because of your dick size.

And dude, take a reality check. Go give her some attention, be real with her. Express how you feel in a quiet, calm manner. Discuss with her how this makes you feel but do so calmly.

If you love her, get over it, if you don't then walk away. The way I see it, it sounds like you're not telling yourself the whole story. Like I said above(sorry for double posting) what were YOU doing when she cheated on you, what are you doing now? Your harboring anger at her when you may not even have the right.

Are you SURE she did it by herself. Women tend to be a little more sensitive, how much are you REALLY paying attention to her?

Actually, since she cheated on him, he should dump her; no questions asked.

Anyone who cheats should be kicked to the curb. Male or female.

It's funny to me that when a man cheats, women have to qualms at all about dumping them. They know. But when a woman cheats, people are quick to ask, "What did you do to drive her to cheat?"

haha

Guy, she cheated on you with a black guy.

Do you need to be kicked in the head by a mule to get it?

Dump the skank.

Find yourself a good, honest woman who treats you with respect.

True,,,there's some fact to the myth, but what's not true is the myth that a big dick is the be all and end all. There's a lot more to it than size, but since I'm not looking for love, I do make some size considerations. I can get a 6 inch dick any day of the week, so I lean towards the bigger ones. The real big ones are fun to play with, but the 7 to 9 inchers are best for sex, I can do it all night and still walk the next day. However,,,you are 110% wrong on the photoshop statement, they ARE out there, I've had some of them, so I know. Those thick 13 inchers weigh in at about a pound and a half (I could beat you silly with one,,,and never leave a mark, LOL).

I'm saying the 13 incher's are fake or they don't exist, I'm saying they aren't as common as the internet makes them believe.

And Mary, I'm sure you'd be willing to admit that when all is said and done that when you're looking for a long term relationship the last thing you look at is size and if it you were to devote your life to someone you wouldn't be so willing to cheat for reamister's solely on his size, It'd be more along the line's of his lack of attention, his cruelty, his ***ness to at least try and satisfy you.

Guys tend to dillude themselves into thinking size is all that matters in bed. Not that a girl enjoying a big one is bad, trust me, I would know.

Hell, I've been turned down by women I've drilled before, even those who've come back on several occassion's for a good screw, I just wasn't compatible for a long term relationship.

And yes, it works on the other end, I can get jealous that a guy with a smaller dick(believe me, women are too honest sometimes) got to keep the girl while I got left in the dust.

So, yeah, don't stress so much about your size or performance, I doubt she cheated on you for sexual reamisterss.

I'm "NOT" saying, I meant to say. Apologiies

"Don't lie to yourself. It gave you pleasure."

There's been many studies that found that women have an incredible sex drive for rough men but that they need a more caring partner for a long term relationship. In fact, the vast majority of long term relationships have affairs. Not just today and not just in America but everywhere for all history. Look at the other primates. None of them are monogamous.

Just look at all the prissy office girls that get all wet for motor cycle bad boys even though they would never want to live on the open road.

The real problem here is she was honest with you and you acted like a little kid. What you're doing with your reaction is demanding that she lie to you.

Hell, she might have told you because she found your IR porn!

I'm glad you cleared that up, cause I have a brother in law who's a bit of a racist, he'd watch a porno with a hung black guy in it, and even though they'd go from taking the dick out, to sucking it hard without ever going off camera, he'd still say it's fake. And you're right, I've been with my hub and his 6 incher for 22 years, he gets me off, we laugh all the time, and he's my best friend,,,although I enjoy our romps thoroughly, most nights I'd rather spend next to him on the futon watching TV.

Exactly, a big cock doesn't mean great sex. From my experience I've learned that It's just aesthetic, It's fun to look at and LOOKS exciting, but, that doesn't mean It's any better.

It's true, a bigger dick CAN pleasure a woman but guys like me have to take it slower, we have to EASE it in and, if the woman is too tight or uncomfortable I pretty much just have to stop, take a moment and find a limit. And I don't even have 13 inches!

I thank you for your honesty Mary. As much as I love the ideal of cuckolding some guy and taking his woman, in the end, unless it was all consensual and the guy could actually take it I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd hurt someone like that.

And It's not a matter of lying to myself but rather the reamisters relationship's have failed. Until recently Marriage hasn't been much of a choice and those who divorced were looked down upon.

Now a days, despite the divorce rate, those who FIND their one true partner stay together a LOT longer, however, the difference is that a man and woman are given the oppurtunity to EXPLORE marriage than enpower themselves on it.

Men and woman sought relationships outside of marriage because they were unhappy but had no real choice, at one point in our world's history adultery was punishable by death!

Have a smaller pecker doesn't mean a woman will cheat on you either, like I've said above, there were girl's who loved me in the sack, found a guy smaller, came to me complaining about it yet refusing to cheat on them on purely physical grounds.

Even a bigger dick knows that sex isn't just physical, It's emotional, It's a connection between two permisters', a bond.

The reamister WHY men and women are treated different when cheating is because of their REASON. Men cheat mostly for physical reamister's, seeking physical pleasure. Women do just the opposite, tending to cheat for more emotional reamister's, feeling less emotionally bonded with someone who is SUPPOSED to love them.

I'VE been cheated on and I know she was dually satisfied in the sack, but, it was only that, I didn't self check, I let my ego get the best of me and lost her because I couldn't get my head out of my ass long enough to tell her I loved her.

and no "I fucking love you baby" while a woman is going down on you apparently doesn't count...


And kittensucker is right, don't act like a young about it. Be a man about it and look within yourself rather than blame her for everything.

deleted for double posting reamisters...

Myths continue despite proof to the contrary.

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I agree completely, but there are limits, eventually you get down to a size that just doesn't reach where you need it to. Everybody's different, so that limit is different too. For me it's 6 inches, my hub's got a standard 6 incher, he used to be able to hit his ex-wife's cervix, for me he'd need another inch and half, so although a 7 1/2 incher seems ideal for me, I can get by with a 6,,,with the 6 I can take it all in and get my clit stimulated, same with the 7 only better, the 9 may hit bottom, but my clit never has contact. My point being, there's good and bad with all sizes, from my point of view, the real good is that's it's a different dick, and pretty soon it'll be cumming in my pussy,,,*S*

I also meant that the tongue is a powerful tool as well, even if you have the smallest dick in the world.

There's a reamister the tongue is considered the strongest muscle of the body.

Ya know James, most times when I see a pie chart or a bar graph that makes a specific statement, I look at them and say hmmm,,,isn't that interesting, I didn't know that. However,,,when it goes agianst every permisteral experience I myself have been witness to, it makes me look to one of my old mentors for an explaination. So,,,like Spock says, once you've eliminated all the probable reamisters, then whatever's left, regardless of how improbable,,,etc. So, that being said, what could cause this discrepency between my real life experience, and your chart? Well, first off, whites at the top of the list has to be a red flag, so does the fact that nobody seems to have much more than 6 inches. This tells me two things, one, this is a chart of averages, not extremes,,,secondly, most small dicked white guys wouldn't volunteer for such a poll, so that leaves the big and average sized white guys, and yet they still never hit 7 inches. If this chart was really representative of what's out there, there would be no point in me even going out, since what I got at home is all that's available. Since everyone of my lovers (and we're talking triple digits here), was bigger than my hub, apparently they weren't part of this study. Look,,,I've said this before and I'll say it again, there are big dicks in every race, I've even seen 9 inch asians (and that I never expected), but on a percentage basis, and that's the big point here, you have to look at it that way. On a percentage basis, out of a hundred white guys you may find 15 or 20 dicks over 9 inches, another 25 over seven, the rest are 6 or under,,,as far down as 3 or 4 inches. Now take 100 black guys, right off the bat you've got at least 30 over 9 inches (with a bunch of them in the double digit area), then another 40 over 7 inches, and anything under 6 is considered handicapped, deformed or something. I don't know what to tell people that show me charts that go against 23 years of permisteral experience,,,and I'm not talking porn stars either, I'm talking everyday people. My hub and I have been around long enough to see history get rewritten, and if you repeat your stance enough times it may actually be considered accurate, but it doesn't change the facts. My hub showed me an article in a Hot Rod magazine, written by a 28 year old editor that claimed one of the baddest muscle cars of the era was the 400HP 454 `70 Chevelle SS (he wasn't even born yet), he went on to say that was the baddest package GM offered in their "F" bodied cars. So that's it, people will be quoting this guy till the end of time, bets will be made and won, afterall, it said so in Hot Rod, right? Now here's the problem,,,what's my husband suppose to say about his brand new (straight from the factory), race ready, `70 Chevelle SS 454,,,535HP? Was that car some sort of gift from the muscle car fairy? I mean, Hot Rod says GM didn't put that much horsepower in a Chevelle,,,and they ought to know, right? Dicks aren't like tits,,,they're not out there in the open to be judged and evaluated, so you're basically buying a pig in a poke, it's anybody's guess what you're gonna end up with, so until mens fashions get around to prominently showing off the phallus, I'm gonna go with the safe bet,,,and that's black!

For me, it is exciting watching my wife with her lover, not hearing about it. If you love her you might want to give your new relationship a try. Tell her everything is OK and you still love her. If you want to progress with this lifestyle, share with her how excited you felt when she confessed her story to you. You might be able to convince her to continue with your consent and actually find pleasure in it.

@ Kittensucker,

"Look at the other primates. None of them are monogamous. "

I'm not looking to flame you or pick a fight, tbut when we're all offering advice to people here in the forums I like to hink that those doing the offering aren't spewing blatantly false statements.

In fact, there are quite a few primates who display monogamous tendancies either full time or at least part of the time. Below is a brief list.

Prosimian- at least one species of tarsier.
New world monkey- titi monkey, night monkey, callitrichids.
Old world monkey- langur/mentawi island leaf monkey.
Ape- Gibbon.

Don't offer advice puntuated with falsities, it will only lead to decisions made based on those falsities...

This is rough, sorry to hear all this. In my relationship we draw a distinction between cuckold/swinging and cheating. This was cheating and no, that's not fun, it's really hurtful.

But here is what's funny, guys who have had their girl cheat on them (and then forgive) sometimes develop a little obsession with the event. Don't be shocked if after 6 months or so when your relationship returns to normal you start to fantasize about her infidelity and even crave it.

The human mind works in funny ways.
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I live in Los Angeles and to me, the weather is good and the United States is flooded with illegal aliens. But to someone living in North Dakota, the weather is cuckolds browniety and most people are white.

Permisteral experiences do not negate quality statistical information.

I'm willing to bet that most black guys with average or smaller penis's shy away from meeting with a swinger such as yourself due to the myth.

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jamesriske

Yes i think you're right James, a few months ago i was reading a post on Adultfriendfinder but a black man for was shy because of the myth about black men, feeling women expected him to be giant and he was average. A lot of black men responded that the myth hurt them too, because girls expected big and all they got was the average. Sure, there are black men who are huge, but i'm willing to bet there's also plenty of average or even small dicked blacks. This whole thing is turning into the friggin shoe myth again *rolls eyes*

Our experience is that the black guys lie about their dick sizes. Most are average to small.

NJ,
What you said back there is straight out of my wife - our life, my wife and I. She did cheat, with her boss, ex-boss now. I was very hurt and jealous at the time (this was over 8 years ago), but some months later, I was very turned on by the thought, and since then of course, we've talked a whole lot, and she's cuckolded me several times all with my active participation and complete enjoyment. We love each other more than ever now

The mind does indeed work in funny ways

I went into detail on this very subject in another thread. Most men who've been cheated on and forgive, begin to wonder EXACTLY what went on during her extracurricular activties, not having any real details he lets his mind wander and writes the scenario himself, soon he finds himself masterbating to it, finally he decides he has to know how she'd react with someone else, so he promotes the idea with the stipulation that he attends (this way he gets his answers, makes sure it's only sex and no real emotion passes between them). "Presto Chango",,,a cuck is born.

I was born in NY, moved to Orlando for 13 years, have lived in Portland for 15, so I've covered the NE, SE, and NW, that leaves LA and the middle of the country,,,who apparently all have small dicks (avg. 6 inches by your chart), so I guess I won't be traveling much, LOL.

james riske,

that is such a load of crap! A pretty multi-colored histogram anyone could whip up on a spreadsheet in 2 minutes is not proof of anything.

Solid scientific evidence on this subject is quite rare (since it is not a matter of profound scientific importance!), but what there is indicates blacks are bigger. The numbers I know, from a guy name Llewellyn-Jones, are as follows - blacks 6.5, caucasian 5.75, hispanics 5.5, east asians 5.0.

Neverthesss, the point about the myth making life uncomfortable for moderately endowed blacks is well made.

Those figures I mentioned are averages - but they ARE significant. If thickness scales with length then they imply that a black man's cock is about twice the volume of an east-Asian guy's, on avarage and about 50% bigger than a Caucasian's. I know Asian girls who will swear to this.

ravishmywife, thanks for sharing that. It seems to be a very common pattern. Glad the whole thing is working out for you guys.
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re anom

Uhm, do you have any idea how desperate and grasping 'part time monogamous tendancies' sounds?

Besides, the whole point of a cuckold relationship is that the female has her long time partner and her sexual fun too!

And I invite anyone who doesn't believe naturals cheat in the wild to go look it up in any serious book on natural social behavior and not some religious dodo's web site.