Cuckold dignity - serious question, please take a minute to vote

My wife has been cuckolding me for a few years now as you can read on our thread in the basic cuckold section - but it is only recently that she has started to do this openly in front of her friends and I'm trying to decide whether they would have more respect for me/for us as a couple if they know she is allowed this freedom or whether they are left in the dark and just think she is another unfaithful wife getting some on the side???

Please do contribute.

mr two

An interesting question. I've voted for the latter, as permisterally I prefer my wife's lovers to think she is unfaithful and would happily let her friends assume the same. I rather like the prospect of people seeing me as the poor, unsuspecting husband, but Debbie has other ideas.

She has told three of her four lovers that I'm okay with her having sex elsewhere, including one former workmate of mine. I'm also aware that Debbie has told at least 3 or 4 of her female friends of our arrangement. All seem rather jealous of her having such a supportive, understanding husband, wishing their partners were as accomodating, but I honestly haven't noticed any change in their attitude towards me once they know I am a cuckold.
Peter C

Cuckold dignity = oxymoron.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

I A S P - that's funny - in a good way - to an extent true though I guess, certainly for some onlookers.

I think it depends on the balance of power in the rest of the relationship. I certainly don't think all cuckolds are wimps and in fact, I suspect many are strong to be able to deal with it - in strong relationships.

A while ago someone post on a thread about what wimps cucks are, worthless etc - while I'm sure some get off on that, I do believe that a woman enjoying her sexuality to the full is probably at her finest and most erotic. And who wouldn't want to be with a woman like that.

I know for sure that Mrs two is more sensual, sexual and just plain sexy now than ever before - it is no coincidence that she is also now more open to men's advances, more on the look out, more open to flirting and catching and eye than she ever has been in her life before.... in short, she's buzzing and being with her is amazing! I know I wouldn't swap this for the world.

mr two

ps thanks for the voting!

As with most people on here, we all have relationships that others here would question. My wife and I have a very open relationship. We began as swingers, until I discovered that my wife felt more wonderful inside than any others I was with. My love for her grew and I became more devoted to her...enough so that I consider myself a cuckold. Not because she won't allow me sex...she does on occasions, and not because she keeps me chaste, she does not. In fact, she has on many occasions encouraged me to go find a lover somewhere, but I do not because of my devotion to her.

We have beenin this relationship, as it now stands for quite a few years. And, to behonest, on one occasion I did take her up on her offer, with a woman she arranged for me to be with. And, to my great surprise, when I was with her, I simply could not achieve an orgasm.

Will I ever stray again? maybe...I simply can't answer that.

I want my wife to let her lovers know but she won't. I want them to know I eat their cum from her pussy!

Hi Pirate, thanks for that, and you Smoothlegs. Thanks also for those who put your votes in. Seems fairly clear to both of us. It hit me this morning when one of her friends saw us together and me clearly in love. I don't want her to pity me or to think that mrs two is going behind my back. Her friend may not understand but I think it is better she knows it is ok with me that mrs two can fuck other men....

Thanks

ps Pirate - that sounds very much like how I feel...

I understand all the posts in this thread. I don't call anybody a wimp and I also understand sissies and men who enjoy having their wives serviced sexually by others. If hubby and wife agree that cucking or sissyness is OK then, so be it! Nobody else's business! My posts are meant for men who marry a lady without telling her about his cuck or sissy proclivity before marriage. Work with wives whose lives are devastated when hubby springs out of the closet and you'll see. Guys that pull that kind of cuckolds brownie on an unsuspecting, loving wife are totally insensitive, inconsiderate and unworthy of her! I have no qualification to judge any man. I will most definitely NOT dignify a cuckolds brownieheel who does such things to a loving wife. My posts are very feminist because I feel for all women and have no problem opening my mouth and speaking out for their defense. Summary: I have nothing against cucks or sissies. I have no honor for men who are not sincere with women! I vote for the latter in your poll.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Hi again IASP, I certainly wasn't trying to argue with your post - I thought it was concise and funny.

Having read what you just post - I agree completely.

Most things are ok if no-one is hurt, if there is respect and consensuality - which appears not to be a word but you know what I mean...my question was about how to retain that respect. I think it is possible, even if unusual.

I have become more convinced that saying it is ok to her friend (the one who stands a chance of understanding) is better. I can't bear the thought that this friend pities me every time she sees me because she thinks I'm ignorant of mrs two's activities...

mr two

ps thanks for all the votes - and in case you wonder, mrs two reads this...

Dear Mr. and Mrs. twohorny. I am sorry for implying any negative connotation to the chosen lifestyle of your wife and yourself! I very much regret the error and apologize to anybody else offended by my post and appreciate your giving me opportunity to straighten things out! Thank you! P(ie OR ea)ce
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

I think there are actually three choices here, not just two.
A. Let them know you're a cuckold.
B. Let them think you're in an open marriage or are swingers.
C. Let them think she's cheating on you behind your back.

I think the dignity exists in just being honest. As far as I know all of my wife's friends know and pretty much all of my friends do to. After a recent development our families know too. They all seem comfortable with it and just accept it as what we do.

A funny side note. I had one of her friends approach me about a week ago and tell me that she thinks that I am amazing and that I should write a book on how to be the perfect husband. Imagine that.
40's MWC In Need Of Hung Bulls - Any Race
I love to be humilated over my little 3 inch dick.
I watch you bareback her then I clean up.

IASP, no problem, I agreed with your basic point.

smartissexy - I agree about the 3 steps - I actually think the step of explaining it is a cuckold (or in layman's terms, one-sided, arrangement) comes after the step of saying "it's ok, he knows and approves".

Stubbyhubby, that is funny, but I can already see some of my wives girlfriends thinking how much they like that I dote on her and yet it seems ok that she can dance and play with men when she goes out!

mr two

This is an interesting question.

I would say it is up to your wife and what she wants people to think of her and of the two of you as a couple. In my case my wife had some contradictory reactions. Early on she found that there was a thrill of the forbidden in sneaking around and pretending it was illicit that was lost even just by telling here lover that I was aware and supportive of their liaimisters. (She also found that there were guys for whim this ruined it.) When it came to our friends, she was even more conflicted. She was really afraid that they would think badly of her and assume she was a slut and a bitch and was victimizing and taking advantage of me. She feared that even my reassurances that I liked it wouldn’t help, that people would think we were both sick and that those who had been my friends before we met (a substantial percentage of our circle in those days) would blame her for corrupting me. (The opposite was true, by the way. She was super vanilla when we met.) Over time, however, she found she really wanted to talk about her lovers with friends and even introduce them to those she thought would hit it off with them.

We solved the dilemma in a way that is probably not a useful model for you in that it preserved her dignity, but cost me mine. (We were OK with that.) But what we did find is that people fell into two groups – those who still respected even if they didn’t get or totally approve of the situation and those whose disapproval, revulsion, or permisteral insecurities were so pronounced that they backed away. So, yes, you can lose the regard of friends if you come out, but not of all of them. In our case, I feel confident that every friend we lost or grew more distant from for what happened would have reacted similarly to the idea that she was cheating. The only difference would have been that they may have remained more attached to me, perhaps even pitying me. But I’m not sure that is respect or dignity.

In your case you are seeking to maintain for yourself as well as her, so I think the answer is probably to be upfront about it. Generally people are more tolerant of fetishes and alternate lifestyle choices these days then they are of affairs. But I warn that I am in the US and things maybe different in Wales. (For instance, I know some folks from Brazil and Venezuela for whom the opposite would be true. Infidelity is regarded as a fact of life, but alternate lifestyles are still often mocked, scorned and shunned.) Also, you may find that you feel better about yourself by being “out,” and that you are better off without the company of those who reject you for it.

Good luck to both of you whatever way you go.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

In NO WAY should the wife be made to suffer the reputation of being a "slut" - when 95% of the time it is the husband who asked, or even begged her to cuckold him. If anything, it is he who is the slut. And even if that is not the way it happened, (she initiated & the husband agreed to it), well then it is what it is. It is not cheating if it is consensual. One does NOT disrespect the wife, ever.

If the extra marital sex is non consenual between the husband and wife, the couple needs to work it out or go separate ways. There is rarely a good reamister to embarrass either party about their adult choices. If and when they make bad ones, they usually embarrass themselves. They don't need any help.

We have 'come out' to our friends. I had much rather people know that I want my wife to be fucked by other men.

People find out one way or another, gossip, pillow talk, etc. Word gets around.
I think its better to state upfront that the woman fucks others with her partners knowledge.

Having said that, I remember talking to a friend who knew my wife had been with several of our mutual friends and feeling this strange sense of humiliated pleasure as we chatted because he did not know that I knew about it. I could see him thinking as we talked should I say anything or shut up. It was a strange situation.

You are not going to please everybody so the final choice should belong to the couple. To me it has to be a mutual thing where a joint decision is made by them, regardless of how it may appear to outsiders.

It's a few months on now and I think the situation, though it could change, has settled. Her friends (and sister) are more and more accustomed to the fact that she is "on the pull". So far she did not overtly tell them I am ok with it but at least I think they understand that it is not an issue between us.

I bought her a necklace, the sort that usually has the womans name, which reads "libertine", she asked me when she could wear it and then said "I was thinking of Friday" - that's a night when she is going out with her girlfriends so it'll be interesting to see how she explains it to them and whether any guys ask...

just had to tell my brother in law last week my wife fucked a guy we hired for an estate sell clean out. we were staying in motel rooms it was obivious what was going on. to break the tension i pulled him to the side and told him what was up. more people that do know more opertunities the way i look at it

For me it is more thrilling that others don't know about it. I can be ok with her lovers knowing it, although I'd rather they didn't, but outside that circle? I mean, once it gets out of you, your woman and her lovers, it is not a controllable environment anymore. There is just no going back and it is a stigma that will follow you forever.

I think it is better to leave a safe backdoor open just in case.