Quoting: jamesriske
So for 20 years she lied and cheated on you but now you suddenly trust her with all your heart?
jamesriske:
Nope. She knows that just one more incident of lack of full and immediate disclosure or related bad behavior will find her buck naked on the curb so fast she won't know how she got there. It took a few close calls for her to take that warning seriously, but she apparently takes it seriously now. Still, I keep an eye on her actions and behavior, and no longer presume her innocent until proven otherwise. Sort of a "trust with verification" situation.
Frankly, I did not think she could reform. The full story is related in my previous posts here, the short version is since we have started swapping and swinging, she has really settled down. She enjoys her lovers, and talks about them quite a bit, even as she admits she could never have it better than staying with me. In fact, our relationship has dramatically improved. I like this version of the wife a lot better. Her bitchiness has withered almost down to zero, her attentiveness has increased astronomically, and her acceptance of constructive criticism has improved. I have shed my "nice guy" attitude towards her (and others) and replaced it with a "gentleman alpha bad boy" approach (with considerable effort on my part, I must add) and have been rewarded with a sexy lovable mate I don't mind loaning out to other men now and then. (Of course, I have access to their wives in return.)
In short, I have made lemonade out of a lemon. No, I did not "suddenly trust her with all my heart." It is a conditional trust that must be constantly earned. So far, it has worked well. Only time will tell if it is a long term solution, but the alternative is an acrimonious divorce, something I would prefer to avoid.