ValGal
Member
Posts: 94
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Just happened to be online and saw your question, and I think it's an excellent one, at least from a certain angle.
Like many, we were pretty slow to evolve. The better part of a year went by between hubby having the courage to tell me he wanted me to see other guys, to the point where I had my first date. And even then, nothing happened for several weeks as I got to know my new partner and felt my way along whether I'd be destroying my marriage by relaxing with someone new.
Before it was "consummated", hubby was on pins and needles wanting it to happen. I remember getting home from my first date and telling him there was nothing more than a little kissing exchanged...he was like a little kid, disappointed that we didn't land in the sack. During these times, he was in a constant state of arousal - and indeed, to a good degree, that's what gave me confidence to take it further.
Then, "it" happened, and hubby's attitude changed pretty radically. I remember him looking at me with those big puppy dog eyes afterwards asking if I was going to see him again, one part hoping I'd say "yes", another part wanting me to say "no". In retrospect, I think the *second* time was much, much more difficult for him to get his head around.
We talked a lot and worked our way through it, but I think a lot of you guys should be thinking about what happens after that first time and deciding whether you can handle your wife entering into some sort of steady thing. In our experience, that's when the reality hit home full power.
Good luck!
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