First Time and Need Some Advice

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Hello All, I'm new here but my subhub is a faithful reader. I/we had our first cuckold experience this past weekend and I need some advice on handling my husband's feelings. Our history is, we've been married for almost 20 years and he's been begging me to cuckold him for about 4 years. We've seriously discussed it for the past year and pretty much talked it to death. We've gone over it in our minds so many times that it was driving both of us crazy. His best friend knows all about our private life of FemDom and his secret desire to be cuckolded. His friend actually volunteered to have sex with me and I graciously accepted. I never thought in a million years he would do it. He is VERY married, not getting any sex at home but has always been faithful to his wife. Well, we got together and talked very openly about our desires and my husband's friend agreed to everyhting, including letting my hubby watch. It was incredible. I couldn't believe how hot it was. At one point during an orgasm, I called his friend's name out and my subhub got really jeleous. Another time he heard me tell his friend that NO ONE has ever made me feel that great before. I think I had 30 orgasms in 2 hours, and we never had intercourse. The last 20 minutes, I completely forgot about my husband and was enjoying myself, like he wanted me to. The rest of the time there was eye contact or conversation between us. He assured me he was fine. It was a wonderful first experience and I wouldn't have wanted it to be with anyone else but his best friend, who truly loves my husband like a brother. My question is this...my husband got so jeleous and then ended up crying becasue he was in so much pain. During his tears, his cock remained hard as a rock. I think this is the beginning of the breaking of his male ego but I'm not sure. He is all about wanting to feel humiliated and he was. He is completely masochistic. All about pain and pleasure. Has anyone else felt feelings of hurt etc... after the first time? We are deeply in love and I assure him that he is the only one for me, forever. He's actually a gorgeous guy and has a body builder's physique. He is very hot! It's rare to find another guy who I find more attractive than my husband. I love the idea of continuing to cuckold him with his best friend and actually fuck but I want to make sure I am not damaging hubby in a bad way. Thanks!

Make it feel to him that you are both doing this for the sake of both of you and that the other guy is simply an extra, a prop, to your own little game of sexy fun. Say you love him extra extra for trusting you to keep the feelings you have for him and that the other guy to you was no more than a big hot fleshy dildo. It is the emotional betrayal that is difficult for him to handle. I am writing this irrespective of whether your posting is genuine or not but it may be of sme use to anyone reading it: it is based on permisteral experiences of my highly sexed partner and my highly voyeuristic nature.

Thanks for your reply. That's exactly what I thought and did and I have been spending lots of time reassuring my hubby that's all his friend is, a big dildo and the real hot part is what goes on between hubby and I. He is much better now and is looking forward to the next time. I appreciate your help.

I'm a little puzzled why you might think this posting was not genuine. Was it something I said?

I agree with Sa Tyr's comments. The emotional rollercoaster is what this fantasy is all about. I've read dozens of posts that transition from fantasy to reality is hard. I have my own perspective on why that is...it's a loss of control combined with change. Both are hard for anyone to manage through and taking them at the same time is powerful. You have been his safe and trusted 'home' for 20 years. You have routine. You have mutual understanding. You have set expectations. Now all of those are being challenged. It's not surprising that he reacted the way he did. I see Sa Tyr's comments are being neutralizing in nature - your enjoyment from another guys comes from experiencing something new as much as it does the pure pleasure we get from sex. Neutralize its effect on you in your own eyes and in your husband’s eyes by reducing it to a shared prop. It's not an emotional thing - it's a physical thing. Reduce it.

Compartmentalize it into pieces and give him control over some (but not all) of the pieces. While my wife and I have never engaged another man, we've agreed that if we do any hint of emotion attached to her relationship with him will need to mean an end to the relationship (or at least a change). That gives me some control over the situation and humans need to be able to control. Loss of control is one of the scariest things for us.

Also, while you're doing those things - do everything you can to make it fun for your husband and not so serious. The more "serious" it is as an event in your lives, the more importance you give it. It's entertainment you two share, nothing more. Which is more serious, paying bills on time or going to a movie? Get your priorities in line...entertainment comes second and is an option. It's not as important. It's not as serious. It's not a commitment (even though part of the fantasy is to make it seem like it is, don't let it (right now)).

Thanks draclif69. I appreciate the kind words. I totally agree with your perspective about the whole loss of control aspect along with big change.
I've had time to evaluate my thoughts and I'm ahppy to say it was just sex, mixed in with the whole "new and naughty" angle, then the whole power trip that came along with the intense offense of my husband by making him watch. I think I made a huge mistake though. After his friend left, hubby and I talked about it, both in shock and didn't take it any further. Next time, I will send lover boy on his way and then start the intense offense activities with hubby. I look at it as sex with his friend is just forplay for hubby and I. Like you said, his friend is just a prop. The best part is that we've know eachother so well for so long that there is absolutely no chance for any kind of romantic feelings. We're not going to get together and have a relationship. We both love our spouses and have families. There is no attration in real life. I plan on getting together again this week so I'll keep you posted. Hubby is hot at the thought. Any more advice, please share before hand. Thanks!

"His friend is just a prop". It may be possible a guy not getting any in a while who just poked that hottie in your pix, with a promise yet, might increasingly feel himself to be more than a prop.

Exit strategy. Sunny now? Remember to bring your umbrella!

Third time's the charm. The fourth time with a couple begins to construe an entitlement to them.

Female Supremacy and Elise Sutton are sissy war cries and quoting them is rare with females. Hurts genuine cred when used on a board overly rampant with sissies.

If your other posts and photos are true, I infer that you are totally fatigued with wimps. I also humbly believe you seek a dominant male, not afraid to wear the pants and doesn't hide behind a skirt. You'll melt fast!

Submissive bull? Isn't that an ox? Oxymoron?

Creampies!

The ultimate masochistic presentation for hubby is seeing that look in her eyes and face as she enjoys easing her lover's mess onto his mouth for the creamy cleanup!

Her's is having the pleasurable experience of her lovers tryst's ardor being tidied up by a sub hub begging her to rub it in his face! Total dominance!
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

<Submissive bull? Isn't that an ox? Oxymoron?>

Absolutely not! However what 'is' Oxymoronic is for a FEmale Dominant that is a FEmale Supremist who rules over men in her life only to become a submissive to a Bull during sex?? Not in my lifetime!! His cock is for her pleasure only, not his.

True natural FEmale Dominance.

I simply cannot process the concept of a WOmen who dominates her husband/BF and then allows herself to be treated as a submissive by a Bull. Not to disrespect any one who enjoys this type of activity. To each their own. Just not my cup of tea.

And even to the submissive husband. I would not want to ‘even think’ what my husband would do to a bull if the bull were to be dominant over him. There would be no need for an ambulance, just the coroner’s office Not all cuckolds are sissies. (meaning weak and frail)

He is submissive only to me, no other. Perhaps you’re confused -as you speak of the characteristics of a female switch or female submissive, both which I am not.

Thanks for your post.

Waystar,

your are correct, Mistress. i was married for 18yrs and cucked for a large portion of that time. my wife/Mistress took control of our lives from the very beginning. we were married at the courthouse by a judge and then She, i and 9 members of her family went on a mini honeymoon for a long weekend. during our marriage i was aware of dozens of men that she fucked, including her ex husband, and i'm fairly sure there were others that i didnot know about. but my point is the same as yours, in that she not only dominated me, she was in control of the other men in her life as well and the sex was for her pleasure not theirs. and as with all rules, there is always an exception or two even with her. i remember one man that took the control away from her, but true to her nature she on fucked him twice then took control back with her next lover.

I was writting you and lost my connection... I'll try again later. but the short story is go for it....

Who were you referring to when you said "Remember once he cums a couple times the entire thing goes from sexual to emotional for him."
What exactly do you mean by that--- what is your experience?

Thanks!

So... did anything happen last weekend?

<What your husband probably has trouble dealing with is the emotional attachment he feels you would have no choice but to have with his friend now that you experienced what you did.>

Well to be honest I have zero feelings of an emotional attachment to this permister. My husband speculates that it’s due to the fact I have never fucked him. He thinks that once this happens it creates an intimacy of a deeper level, which will develop an emotional attachment at some level. I disagree.

<You need to let him know, He is your husband and you will ALWAYS be with him. No one else, for life. Then letting him know sexually his friend is better, he can handle it>

He doesn’t have a problem with the whole event so far since no intercourse was involved. He is getting cold feet because he is worried that once I do fuck him and he does turn out to be a better lover than he is then it will be something he needs to live with for the 'rest' of his life. He says in the fantasy realm it’s enticing and very much a turn on... In the moment, but the reality is that he will need to live with the fact that he is an inadequate lover every time he looks at me. One side of him wanted this from the beginning of time, the other is so afraid. My dilemma.

Its not fair to you if he just takes you to the point and backs out.

well...he's at that point and he's backing out. After bugging me about it daily for 4 years. He's been on an emotional rollercoaster since the night it happened. It's very draining.

Waystar- with all due respect you are making a mistake here- re: what you say that now he is backing out and that in reality he is afraid that his friend will in fact be a better lover and he will have to live with that every time he looks at you etc.... see... the thing is:the whole reamister this type of thing is so crazy erotic first for the guy and then after (usually) for the woman, is exactly BECAUSE of the extreme erotica - the "wrongness" the "breaking of bounds" that is the essence of the whole idea of a wife being with another PREFERRED guy. See, what I'm saying is: it's like a permister on a diving board...taking on a new job which he doesn't know if he's is really equipped to handle..., entering a fight with a guy that might kick his ass.. etc... there's always fear, but fear of the damage is exactly the stuff erotica is made of. If you had "20 orgazams in 20 min" or something like that, well... at least as far as your feelings towards being with this guy is concerned, he -IS- a better lover, and he-WILL- take to you to a higher place than your husband can or ever has, but WayStar, that's the whole point here. So the thing to do than here is..... be strong with hubby, lead don't follow, explain to him in soft sweet, but stern words and tone that you want this to happen, you want him to "work with you" on his feelings and you will be supportive etc... but at the end of the day this has to happen. Tell him, b/c it's the truth, that it will make him much hornier than he ever was and you much happier to know that yes your friend is a better lover- "I love you,, but ... I want you to accept tha sexually I want to be with him more" - get back to me- I bet it will blow both of your minds.

I agree ERB. I wish my wife were more "cockolding" with me. I wish she would be more dom. I feel I want to say if your gonna do it, Then go all the way and do it. He will not leave you. He will do as you want.

Her post was back in April guys, I'm sure a lot has gone down since then.

Waystar. If you are still here, I suspect your husband did work it out and you guys are now into it, let us know how its going.

If she isn't, then they stopped not much we write here will change that.