so close, yet so far away

Any help or insight anyone can give will be great.

About 6 months ago i brought up to my wife that i would be very interested in having a 3some with one of our married friends. At first she was kinda shy about the whole idea, but after a couple of days she was masterbating to me talking about him fucking her. Well, make a long story short, she decided that it probably wouldnt be good for us and she said she is not that kind of wife.

Well, we recently talked about her having a fling with her old bf, she got off on me talking about it for days and was asking me if she could contact him. At that time i didnt want her to because we are seperated due to work right now. I told her she could when i got home. I know the thought of her fucking him again gets her wet as can be, but she feels its wrong and shouldnt have those thoughts.

We then went on to actually put an ad on AFF looking for a bi-male. we had one guy write us back and talked about what we would like out of the night. Wel the guy turned out to be a flake before we could meet. Since then she has said that she does not want to ever do it. that the thought of it turns her on but actually doing it would be wrong.

Also i am bi and she says that seeing 2 men together is hot for her, but she doesnt think she could bear having me do it since im her husband. Now i would never do anything behind her back and wil always be upfront with her. I have made it clear to her that i want the experiance, but only if she is there and ok with it.

I have also been showing pics of her masterbating and fucking herself with her dildo to a friend of mine. My wife said she would fuck him and that he is pretty hot, but would be nervous due to him working with me and doesnt want it to affect my career. I resently asked her if i could give him the pics so he could have and get off looking at her anytime he wants. She said "I dont care if you give them to him".

One of my biggest fant is for her to make me suck him clean after she is done.

My questions are:
Is she really interested in relaxing with another man and just scared?
how do i make her comfortable with the thought of me with a guy?
How do I progress this into her actually getting fucked?