New to this and liking it-advice on handling the men in my life please

HI, I'm new to this site and am amazed at all the posts. I've been with my husband Nick for 14 years now and we started sharing fantasies about me with other men quite early on in the relationship. As time has gone on, I have had a few sexual experiences with others, and have become a bit more daring. Recently, I have started fucking a fantastic black guy, Matt, with hubbies knowledge and support, and lots of interest. So far, I have only seen him on my own, but both me and Nick think about Nick watching me fucking Matt. We're just not sure how keen my 'bull' is (is that the right term?, I'm totally new to this).

Anyway, until very recently I thought we were the only people who thought about and did this kind of thing. Then we came acoss the term cuckold and discovered that it must be happening elsewhere too. This site makes me think that it is actually quite common. In a way, I found this reassuring, because I think we have both been asking ourselves whether we should worry about the fact that I enjoy fucking another man and that he enjoys the thought of me doing it. We wondered if it meant we didn't really love each other.

I'd be really interested to hear about the thoughts and experiences of you all out there. I'd also be up for sharing the details of our experiences, as it's kind of hard to tell your best friend about this, but it's a real turn on and an important part of my life and our relationship.

What d'you think??

Sasha123
yes understand completly. i met my wife when i was 16. these feelings have never been any different 4 us. she had boyfriens and i was always on again off again, at her choosing. i was just enthralled by her.
in our early twenties supposed ourselves swingers, but i was not a partaker af this, only 4her.we still did not quite fit.
riasing a family also placed us left of centre as although being"faithfull" kept us close to the norm.the feelings were still there for us.
even now after 18 years we are still shy and insicure about this in RL conversation
as you said*as it's kind of hard to tell your best friend about this*
anyway...nice to meet youSasha123

Joranc
Thanks for your message. I guess from your post that your relationship hasn't been damaged in any way by the kind of things you have done? If you have any tips on how to keep things healthy, while still allowing the excitement, I would love to hear them.

As I said, I have recently seen a guy a few times, each time alone while Nick stays at home with the kids. The guy (Matt) knows the deal between me and Nick, though he says he doesn't really understand it. I have been able to phone Nick while I was with Matt and told him how he was making me feel, and let him hear the noises I was making. I would have liked Matt to talk to Nick, to tell him what it felt like to be inside his wife, but he wasn't comfortable with that. However, he does ask about Nick when we are fucking and I suspect it does really turn him on a bit. Nick would really like more involvement than this, maybe some photos, or perhaps even watching, but I'm not sure how Matt would react to that.

I don't know whether we should look for another partner, who is more comfortable with the whole idea. The thing is, from my point of view, the chemistry between me and Matt is fantastic - he is stunning and I am turned on for days, even weeks, before and after fucking him. Can we make this work as a long term thing, or do 'long term things' loose their excitement anyway?

Looking for some advice from anyone who has made this work for them!

Sasha:

I have been my husbands mistress for 20 years. He is my devoted pussy slave and a true cuckold. He is submissive to my sister, his younger sister and my lady along with some of my closer girl friends.

He confessed to me his desire to be submissive and sexually dominated by women when we were dating and became serious in our relationship. What he didn't know was that I was raised in a female dominant household and saw those traits in him long before he really understood it all.

My lady helped me bring out his true submissive side and cuckolding just came along naturally.

Remember you are in control and as you desire so goes the marriage and lifestyle.

Linda40

Sasha,

You might want to have him come over and have sex with you while your cucky/hubby hides in the closet to watch.

Or have your cucky in the next room while you have sex in the next room with the door open.

Just take baby steps to get everybody used to the idea of having your husband watch.

Don't allow your stud or your hubby to make the rules. YOU make the rules. If you hold your ground, he will allow your husband to watch even though he may say no at first.

Find ways to ease them into it. Have him peek through the window, hide in the closet, be in the next room, etc. Then slowly have him out in the open more and more.

The excitement of your stud may go away if you overdo it. You might want to limit your meetings with him and even find another stud so you can alternate them every two weeks to keep it exciting.

Enjoy yourself.

Sasha123
aside from deviation to the married sexual norm, our relation ship is suprrisingly normal, full of ups and downs much like eveyone.
though we have lasted a lot longer than any of our peers.
linda40andjamesriske have good advice..notably
*you are in contol* and i think that needs to be amplified
*YOU ARE IN CONTROL*
there also needs to be honesty and trust,and understanding is (paramount?)
always consider your youngren and try to keep them inocent. their future depends on how we raise them and the affect and effect of our decisions.
"A strong fine wine makes or breaks a sumptuous meal. One who consumes wine only, however, to the exclusion of all other nourishment, is risking health and life." said some cuck on some site somwhere
you are in control

Thanks all, what good advice! In all honesty, I'm afraid I expected more lurid comments than real advice from the site, but what you are all saying really makes sense. I like the thought of being in control; this is something that hubby initiated, though I liked the idea pretty quickly, although took a long time until the right situation (a very sexy girl as it happens) came along. But I am starting to realise the power that it gives to me, and the importance of meeting my needs and desires. The idea of being in control with Matt is also important. I don't want to push him into anything he doesn't want to do, but with small steps he might be persuadable! I do like the idea of making the rules.

Joranc, I agree that the honesty and trust thing must be very important. There is an added complication here in that we are in the aftermath of an affair, which in my book, is a completely different ball game to what we are talking about here, and there are some very complicated and vulnerable feelings sloshing around at the moment. I have to be careful that I am not looking for payback or the possibility of meeting a new partner. We started this long before the affair and I THINK it is now helping to bring us back together, but you might say I am playing with fire. Again, I''d like to hear whay you have to say.

Also I agree totally about the kids. Ours are much too small (4 and 2) to even consider letting them know what is going on, but in any case, I agree that innocence is the best way. I would never have wanted to know anything about my parents' sex lives, thanks!! It does limit what we can do - anything in our house runs the risk of youngren waking up at the wrong moment and we don't want that. However, we are thinking about trying to arrange a relaxover at someone else's house for them, and then I could maybe put some of your 'closet' advice into action (I'm in the UK so it's a cupboard over here, but the idea sounds very exciting).

Like the quote Joranc!

Thanks all.

Be careful.

Use your instincts.

Enjoy yourself.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

You'll be all right.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Get in touch Sasha, we are a real life Cuckold couple from Bristol and would be happy to give you any help or support you may need.
We also have a UK based cuckold group.

Kind regards

Jules & Astrid
Happy married cuckold couple from the UK

julesandastrid
Jules and Astrid,
thanks for the post. I'd like to hear a bit about your story, how loing you've been doing this and how it works out for you. Also maybe about the cuckold group in the UK.

Sasha,

It sounds like you have a very grounded approach to this lifestyle. Don't be afraid to push the envelope at times and really assert your control. I think for many cuckolds the lack of control is one of the most exciting aspects of their situation. It certainly is for me!

Good luck. This lifestyle can be very rewarding and can work.

I have been dating other men on and off for the last 25 years, my hubby and I have been married. I find that men are easily handled and you should just tell your new bull that you want your husband to watch. I think you will find that he will be more then willing to let him watch while he fucks the hell out of you. You may even find that it is a turn on to be able to look at you husband while you have that black stud giving you what you want and need. Let me know how it goes.

Sasha123
just calling in to say hi and see how ur going....
hi
how are you going?




iam am glad to hear you are self aware enough to be able to see this for urself, aswifedateshubwaits says
as a man though i would urge u to pay xtra close attention to nicks "hidden feelings" on this issue. as he would probably be reluctant to express any doubts about your relationshop with mat.
years ago i cheated on my wife, ultimatly she left me
and it took nearly two years to get her back.
i had much jelousy toward her as she would not tolerate betrayal. it took a long time to understand the "oxy morronn" (for lack of a better) there. but the ..i am a moron.
any way best of luck sasha

joranc
Hi and thanks for checking up on me! I have been thinking about all this stuff a lot since first finding the site. I think realising that so many other people are involved in this almost legitimises it for me, and I seem to be more able to open myself up to the turn on that it is.
I am really interested in your situation and experiences. You say you had jealousy toward your wife after you cheated on her, was this because she wasn't with you and was with other men?

Do you agree with me that a cuckold sexual encounter is not at all the same as an elicit affair? I feel I am not breaking any trust in seeing Matt, so am in the clear, whereas what Nick did to me was behind my back and very very corrosive. However, I'm sure there are some similarities.

Matt called me at work the other day and we exchanged some pretty hot texts. It was such a huge turn on and it suddenty made me realise that Nick must have been experiencing this kind of feeling with the woman he was seeing (Kate). The difference was that I was forwarding all the texts from Matt to Nick, because I knew it would make him horny, whereas everything with Kate was done through a veil of lies to me. Anyway, I then asked Nick if he had in fact sent dirty texts to Kate when he was having the affair and he admitted he had. I'm glad he admitted it, but boy it sure hurts. How do I square that with my lack of guilt for what I am doing?

Anyway, I am hoping to see my lover,Matt, tomorrow night. We usually just text every now and then between meetings, but last night I called him quite late. I had just got out of the bath and was horny as hell and he was clearly getting turned on too. We managed to talk over some of his feelings regarding the whole cuckolding thing (interestingly, it was him that brought it up, though I had been wanting to get a handle on what he was feeling and to explore his boundaries). Matt just can't get his head around how Nick gets turned on by me being fucked by him. Matt thinks he (Nick) mustn't really care for me. But Matt's prepared to ignore that aspect for the sake of the good sex which we enjoy together. I told Matt that Nick was out, but in fact he was laying beside me on the bed and we put the phone to speakerphone, so Nick got to hear as Matt and I started talking about how I was touching myself and what we would like to do to each other. After a while, Matt asked me to go get a dildo and I fucked myself with it listening to Matt, with Nick laying beside me. It was quite intimate for me and Nick, but also really horny for me and Matt. I know I was being disingenuous to Matt, but I hope he would forgive me for that, and anyway, I always feel my loyalty is to Nick.

Hearing me talking to Matt has had a strange effect on Nick though. He spent quite some time last night worrying about the fact that he didn't feel any jealousy at all. Does this mean (as Matt says) that Nick really doesn't love me, and that Nick is just using me as some form of living pornography? Now I am worried that Nick is thinking about whether or not he loves me. I wish he knew for sure.

I've also started to wonder about what comes next when you have embarked on this lifestyle. Is it like a have addiction from which there is no going back? Would we ever get the kicks again from just fucking each other? What if Nick wanted me to drop Matt, or anyone else? (I don't think he would) but could I still feel this level of sexual excitement within the marriage?

It's a bit of a headfuck this stuff!

Anyway, we will see how it goes tomorrow night. I am supposed to go over to Matt's for a few hours tomorrow night, but I am waiting for him to confirm. I wonder if he is getting cold feet, thinking about all the cuckold stuff and how strange it is to him. He doesn't seem to be getting turned on by any thoughts of the situation, which makes it really hard for me to be able to call Nick when I am fucking Matt, or to ask for photos of me with Matt or anything, which Nick would love. Maybe Matt isn't the best permister for us to be invovled with. But I do love fucking him!

Loads of waffle tonight. But you all always come back with such good advice. Look forward to hearing from you!
S
xxx

b]Sasha123[/b]

a couple of jealousies here.
*always when i know she is with someone, always, but it is heavily masked by... a type of excitement. Sometimes I feel that my love for her is just so much more intense when she is with another. my whole sense of being is in overload of so many mixed emotions.

*"i don�t understand how she can relax around and expect me not to"
....mmm. there is many opinions here
a big one for me as I had not been with any else but my wife. and she had both b4 we were married AND AFTER.
but that�s how it was for us from the strt. i think my faithful devotion was my opening to her heart. and I just kept loving her no mater.
but 4 �me� to b with another took that away, I was no longer the 1 thing she could count on.
+ It was behind her back and she was always honest with me.

Remember everyone�s circumstances are different,but honesty is so important regardless of differences.
to be different and not honest to each other will lead you in different directions i am sure.
Sasha123
matt......or any...if nick asked you to stop i do think you would (dont get to attached...no strings..)
r you after a lover or someone to love?
you should be too busy at it.. to discuss nicks feelings with him...lol
I don�t know you guys but i am guessing that mat does not know nick like you do.
Ask you�re self what direction you want to head towards. Think about it and how much you love your family....this path riddled with unforeseen dangers. Discuss your thoughts with Nick and find a path you both are willing to trvle.I have been lucky but i have seen much love die.
often we are looking at the same picture and see completely different image
take care

ps
my permisteral feelings on the wife falls in love with bull thing...
good fear factor fantasy. in real life that would be pretty friggen hard deal.and is realiy for many.

Sasha, I went on a long out of country trip for my employer (actually Iraq) before I left I asked my hubby if he would care if I met a soldier that I liked, if I fucked him. Well Pat said no he wouldnt mind and he would be free to se others too (Pat is bi) well he had a few friends he already had bi thing with, I on the other hand was always a voyer in these situations and of course there were not any feelings of love between him and his boi's. Well I met one hell of a soldier and man when I met "L" accidentally on the base by mistaken identity. It was love at first sight !!! I can not believe after 15 years of marriage I could fall for a man like this. Well I asked Pat if I could have "L" and he did say no because there was too much emotional feelings that had quickly developed in our first two weeks hanging out together in free time. I was honest with Pat about the emotions and the comfort that we gave each other he wasn't comfortable at all with it. I did "L" any way and then again and again for 6 months I even gave "L" my ass which Pat never got in 15 years I love his big thick cock ( it is bigger and better then pat's ) Well when I came home Pat found a few love emails and flipped and demanded I call him and threaten him if he didnt stop contact. Well a few months later we were taliking on the phone a few times a month and emailing, with out Pats knowledge... fast forward two years of telling Pat how I could only feel comfortable with "L" sexually while dressing him (Pat) in panties to stroke his little dick in. Well I won and I am now the proud owner of a Sissy cuck hubby and telling Jess ( used to be Pat ) That I love "L" and we are meeting next month for the first time outside a war zone and without any risks of being caught by command. Jess is now fully in my controll in panties 24/7, shaved head to toes, and loving me for loving me for having a lover. "L" cant wait to humiliate Jess and I love dressing her in womens clothes with out makeup, or wig and taking her about town I just usually expose her in panties or a bra under her short that I make Jess open and show off for me. It is great I never thought I would ever do such a thing but the large cock of another Man is just what I needed to unleash myself. Go ahead and have fun dont be shy I often talk in public to Jess about "L" and some friends know as well as some of Jess' family .

PS be proud of what you have and the love you share with hubby , not every couple is as lucky as we are to have enough to share with others.... Jeanne

Sissy Jess

Sissy Jess

I have finally decided to take control (total) and have sissy in panties daily lock sissy in her CB 6000s for good. No more feeling sorry after a few weeks and no more giving into her pleas for mercy! Welcome the NEW MISTRESS!

Sasha
It is important to maintain continuous communication and and constantly checkpoint the feelings and thinking of all involved... I assume from what you say that Matt has not yet become totally comfortable with the situation and you and your husband are still sorting things out.. Open honest uninhibited communication and responses to feelings may help... You have nothing to hide now... also have conversation with Matt... You and your husband .. let him know its cool for him to fuck you .. its cool with your hubby .. tell your hubby to tell Matt its cool .. Then if man has any inhibition . he can let them go and fuck you alot better...

BlackDick8
Thanks for your message I agree about the honesty bit and losing inhibitions.
joranc
Thanks again, you're a real friend in this. Lots in common I think.

Hi all, Sasha here. Quick update, I saw Matt on Sunday and had some great great sex with him. The first time we fucked that night, Matt said he wasn't comfortable with the idea of me phoning Nick during sex, so I didn't, but the second time he asked me to and passed me the phone, said things like If only Nick could see you now. So I think he's warming to the idea.
However, Nick didn't answer the phone most of the night. I was on the point of coming home cos I thought he was freaking out, but he sent me a text saying everything was OK, but the kids were up and he was looking after them. So I carried on. When I came back, Nick spent some time with my swollen pussy and we talked about what had happened as we fucked. But then it turned out that the kids hadn't been up at all, he hadn't answered the phone because he wasn't sure he wanted to hear me having great sex with this guy. This is a big big deal for me, I do not want to make Nick feel cuckolds brownie, I know how that feels. I am now considering dropping the whole thing, but we'll maybe give it a while to see how feelings go. Might take up the advice about choosing another (perhaps safer??) kink!

Not answering the phone did mean that Nick recorded some hot voicemails though, so some advantages!

Sasha, the most important factor in your situation (and I realize Im evaluating your situation from outside so take it light) is that you have a comfortable stable and clear conscious about what you do.. If everything is on the table and circumstances evolved that way... then as long as you are straigt up then that will set the tone for comfort as things go.. or maybe things will change because Nick cant deal with it anymore ... or Matt cant .... or You cant... but so what ... at least you have you stable clean... being honest does that... nothing to hide.. everybody is playing with a full deck .... its a security to deal with the truth ... make sure you keep your security ... everyone is responsible for their own security..

Sasha, I've been around the block a few times and have seen many on-the-fence husbands brought into line when they were put in chastity devices to keep them from masterbating all the time.

Then, only let them cum after they do what you want, like swearing they love you and licking up afterwards to prove it.

Also, many bulls feel much more comfortable if the husband is in chastity and/or tied up. Sometimes even blindfolded too. That way they don't have to worry about them getting physical or interrupting your sex just because they having learned their place yet.

There are many women in the UK who have used this to train their husbands. Here's a site that has info on where you can buy them and how to use them.

The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

I am in agreement with Kittensucker (interesting name). I am a cuck and am often surprised by my lack of jealousy. Also surprised about the level of excitement that I experience knowing that my gf is with another guy.

My gf and I have discussed it at some length, and have some strong opinions based upon experience.

I cannot choose to be a cuck (and experience the feelings, willingness, etc.) on my own. I became a cuck and remain a cuck only at the whim of my cuckoldress. She creates my cuckold position and feelings by her actions.

I need for her to dominate me, cuckold me, tease me, control me. When she does, I become a willing and happy cuck. When she ignores me and does not flaunt her position as my superior, then I begin to feel rebellious, etc.

I have been told and have found that I cannot "top from the bottom". I am a cuck only because she is a cuckoldress and has a bull.

So, my suggestion to a woman would be to get off the fence and take control of the situation. Your cuck will assume the proper attitude and position. This to the increased enjoyment of you, your bull, and your cuck.

If you neglect to wield your power, you will risk losing it.
I will make you crazy.

u guys are awsome

Jeanne and girlfriend Jess
u spin me out, but you are cool

OMG, Linda40 ... I think I love you!!! Sigh ....

Sasha123 My wife doesn't have sex with other men, but it's my fantasy that she does. I understand your husband not wanting to be there, or talk about it to the bull. To me, that would be hard. It's more of a mental thing, "knowing" that your wife is being naughty, coming home "dirty" as the evidence, maybe "letting" me lick her sweet muffin. I think it's cool that you indulge his fantasy, and that you don't power him into an uncomfortable situation. To me, that's LOVE, and (hopefully) that's what it's all about!

Sasha123 My wife doesn't have sex with other men, but it's my fantasy that she does. I understand your husband not wanting to be there, or talk about it to the bull. To me, that would be hard. It's more of a mental thing, "knowing" that your wife is being naughty, coming home "dirty" as the evidence, maybe "letting" me lick her sweet muffin. I think it's cool that you indulge his fantasy, and that you don't power him into an uncomfortable situation. To me, that's LOVE, and (hopefully) that's what it's all about!
**********
What he said

For me its her first then us and the lover/bull is just a prop in OUR love life.
He has no say and no control over her or me.- Its Gay to be a cuck to man- Simple as that.

The best part of this whole thing for us is the Fantasy of it, with a touch or two of RL ( she needs to try a new cock every now and then its only fair)

marineboy
Sasha123
i do not like the phone eithr
hope u r both enjoying