Should I be here?

I�ve been reading posts on this forum for a month or so, and I�m a bit confused. The dictionary says a cuckold is a husband who has an unfaithful wife, but by reading the posts I get a totally different definition. It seems in fact the definition here seems to be a submissive husband to a dominant wife as in a form of a SM relationship.

So, here is the question:

I am 29, and married. I married my husband when I was 16 and he was 25. He was a virgin, I was not even close, having given away my virginity to my 20-year-old cousin whom I seduced at age 11. My husband was an officer in the Navy and gone most of our courtship and engagement. I was in high school, a cheerleader, ROTC Sponsor, Prom Queen, Homecoming Queen, and big time slut. I basically slept with anyone I dated, except the man I married. He said sex should be reserved for marriage.

I fucked one of my old boyfriends the day after the wedding, so I was a faithful wife about 18 hours. 10 days after we married, my husband had to go back to the Navy and a 10-month deployment. The day he left I moved in with the old boyfriend I had fucked the day after the wedding, and lived with he and his lady until my husband returned.

When my husband returned to Virginia, I met him there. I told him I had been living with my old boyfriend and had been fucking several others in addition to him. I told him I could never be faithful, I needed sex daily. He forgave me as I knew he would.

To make a long story short, I see 2 or 3 of my lovers a week with my husband�s knowledge. He doesn�t want to know any details, who I am fucking, or anything about it. He leased me an apartment strictly for this purpose. He knows, but prefers to be left in the dark about it. I could never humiliate him, or be domineering with him. Do I really belong on this forum?

Which am I? A cuckold wife, or a hotwife, or just a slut?

Hi Teri. I'm not a big one for labels. The dictionary is correct. However, the word seems to be morphing. I suspect most people consider it to be a man who knows his wife is cheating on him. Often he will watch. My girlfriend is not dom in the traditional since, but we both get off on her doing other guys while i watch and jackoff. Is it humiliating? A little. Is it a big turn on...oh yeah! Would I let her go further? Nope and I doubt she ever would.

I'm not big on labels either but a cuckold in the sexual fetish sense of the word is a woman who fucks other guys with her husband's knowlege and approval.

If a woman fucks other guys without him knowing, she's just a cheater and he's....well...just a schmuck who thinks he has a happy marriage. He wouldn't even know he's a cuckold in the first place.

I know some will pull out the dictionary to tell me that I'm wrong but if you look up swinger in the dictionary, I'm sure it will tell you about a kid on swingset. We all know damn well what cuckold means.

It's hard to say if you're a cuckold wife or hotwife. What's the difference? Does your husband get turned on by you fucking other guys? Does he want to hear the details? Does he encourage you? Does he fuck you more after?

Have you tried asking him if he would like to watch? He could hide in the closet and watch..

If you are taking on 2 or 3 of your lovers a week with your husband's knowledge you are a lot more than "just a slut". You are a cuckold wife. You dont have to do anything special to be dominating him. The fact that he leased an aparment for you to be with your lovers is enough.

I agree, you are defenently cucking your husband hard. How often do you have sex with your husband, compared to your lovers.

Yeah Jack, you're right. I should have taken into consideration that he bought her an apartment to screw around in. She IS cucking him hard.

But I wonder if he gets any details from her or is licking the creampies or what?

or if the story is just more bullcuckolds brownie....

I am having trouble posting to a thread so this is a test.

Thank you for your replies.

That worked so I will try again to respond.

Again, thank you for your replies. I am not sure I buy the fact that I am cucking my husband however. He doesn�t know when I see someone, nor who they are. I have, on a couple of occasions, asked him if he wanted to participate, he flatly refused and said he wanted no part of it. That is why he leased the apartment, to keep that side of my life isolated from our life together.

As for the frequency of sex with my husband, it is almost daily. However, where my boyfriends and I fuck, my husband and I make love. There is a huge difference!

My story is true, and there is much more of it. I may, in time, feel comfortable enough to post more.

I do thank you for the responses!

Terri

Terri,

I think everyone has made good points but in my view you are simply a slut. Probably your husband has a hotwife as well (becuase he does know you're doing it), but I don't think you can be cucking him because for that to work it needs both parties to be active and sign up to the fact.

However, the most important point is this. Regardless of all that, you most definitely belong here, and are most welcome, because with any one of the rest of us, you would be a cuckoldress, and we would be your cuck.
C4K

Hi Teri,
I'm sometimes not sure I belong here either. For my husband and me it's all fantasy. I've never screwed another guy since we've been married. I did make out with a guy at a hot tub party once.
In our sexual relationship I am the sub and he the dom. I couldn't even humiliate him.
Also, my husband is a stud. He has a nice thick cock and makes me cum most of the time.
So if we ever really do the cuck thing, it will because he really wants me to.
Or if I found out he was cheating on me.
Then all bets are off.
Heather27

Thanks for your responses. I guess I will hang out and read posts here although I will never be a true cuckold wife. I don't mind being a slut, I've been one since I was 11 or so, no biggie, I just love fucking!

Theresa

Theresa,

If the thought of cucking your husband turns you on, perhaps you could ease him into it. Actually get him to hide and watch.

If you like to fuck and be slutty and if he knows you're doing it but doesn't want the details, then it's just a little work to get him to start getting turned on by it.

Take it in small steps.

Next time you're giving him a blowjob, start telling him little sexual things. Go very easy on him. But start slow and over a period of a few months, start telling him the details of the sex you have with other men while giving him a blowjob and make sure that he cums after.

You might want to start with something VERY small. Like mention some guy that you both saw like a waiter or something and then say that you got a little excited watching him and his ass. Then keep sucking him and keeping him worked up. His imagination will do the rest.

In time, over a period of many months, you might just be giving him a full description of your own fucks and drive him so wild that he'll be begging to hide in the closet and watch in permister.

Jamesriske, thanks for the suggestions. He is a super smart man, so he will probably see right through me. But I'll give it a go. Chances are it is going to take me years, if I can pull it off at all. But, as I said, I will give it a go. I thnk he would really enjoy it if I could get him to try, and I know I would love to have threesomes with David and my lovers. Hell I'm getting wet just thinking about it!

Again, thank you and I will post back any progress I may be able to make.

Theresa

I think you're just a slut. you admit you fucked every man that ever give you a date.

TeriT2, my God, your exactly what I want my wife to be! Especially the part where you say, "As for the frequency of sex with my husband, it is almost daily. However, where my boyfriends and I fuck, my husband and I make love. There is a huge difference!" I think that is so SEXY! I only have about a 6" cock, and I think my wife would benefit from a slightly larger member. I've talked to her about it, but all she says is "I could never do that, you're all I need" The thought of her, coming home, after having a sexual encounter with another man, with (hopefully) soaking wet panties as the evidence of her naughtiness, just pushes me over the edge. I like the fact that you don't humiliate him. (I wouldn't be into that) I think if a woman can seperate the "Love" from the "sex" it's an ideala situation. You've got a lucky husband. If you ever want to communicate directly with me, email me at [email protected] K.

K Mc, thank you for the vote of confidence. What I said about the differences in fucking my lovers and making love with my husband is totally correct. Making love with him is the most marvelous thing I have ever experienced. I would say where my lovers satisfy my body, he satisfies my soul.

Dirk, I never said I was anything other than a slut. But your statement that I admitted I fucked every man I ever dated is incorrect. I said I "basically slept with everyone I dated", I was very select about whom I dated. And, some of them just didn't turn me on, so I kept my panties on. All in all I've slept with fewer than 20 men/boys total, far fewer than some women I know. For the past 6 years it has been only 3 plus my husband. Those 3 I've known since high school. But, truth be told, I am, and have always been a slut.

Terri

Terri,

You and your husband sound very similar to my wife and I. I was a virgin when I met my wife while she was anything but. My wife likes to think of herself as a slut with other guys, but with me she is my angel. I not only don't mind her relaxing around, but actually enjoy it. I have no desire to actually participate, I prefer letting her live out her slut fantasies with other guys, provided I'm the only one she "makes love" with. It works for us and it sounds like to does for you too!

wifedates,
Are you sure your name isn't David, and your wife's Theresa? Actually I believe there are tons of us out there, more and more I hear of similar arrangements with people's marriages. It works for me and mine!

Thanks for your response!

Terri

OK TeriT2, I stand corrected on your statement up above. I still think you are the HOT type of wife that I wish my own wife would turn into. So you don't ever tell your husband of your encounters, (from what I gather) but do you ever give yourself to him while your still "dirty" (forgive the term)? If you re-read my post from up above, you'll understand why I ask that question. Thanks Teri! YOUR HOT!

"Which am I? A cuckold wife, or a hotwife, or just a slut?"

Hi Teri,

You've certainly come to the right website to pose your question, and reading above I can see that you have had replies from some of the most knowledgible members of the site with regards to whether you are a cuckold wife, hotwife or a slut.

For myself when weighing up such an important question I find it most useful to appraise visually. Could you please post a picture of yourself? One showing your face, tits and front bottom, as well as a picture taken from behind preferably bending over or in doggie position? I think that this will allow myself and my collegues above to better assist you with your questions.

Look forward to helping further

K Mc & Lewis, thank you for your comments and support. K Mc I tend to agree that I fall more into the �hot wife� category than the cuckold one. No, I never tell my husband anything about my trysts, nor when they occur. He knows I am sure, otherwise he would have not leased the apartment. But he has said from day 1 it was my cross to bear, not his.

As far as coming to him �dirty�, no. I always shower and clean up completely before going home. And just for the record, I do have a conscience and wish I were not the way I am. I hope in years to come that my sex drive will decrease and I can settle down to being the wife he deserves.

Lewis, thank you for your support. Yes, I have received some very good replies and am appreciative for them. However, I will not post a picture. It would ******* my husband were he to stumble onto a picture of me on the Internet. I appreciate your asking, but it is something I simply cannot and will not do.

Thank you again,

Theresa

TeriT2 I LOVE reading your posts! I guess everyone has their own sexual "menu" I would LOVE to have a wife like you. I wouldn't LET you think about changing your sexual habits! I've been trying to get my wife to do what your doing. The only difference is, that if my wife WERE ever to have sex with another man, I would WANT her to come home dirty. I wouldn't want any details of the encounter, just EVIDENCE that she'd been a very naughty wife! A few bite marks on her neck or boobs, VERY wet panties would turn me on to no end. Like you, I kind of wish I wasn't this way, but hey, I can't help it! BLESS YOUR SEXY LITTLE ASS TERI! [email protected]

Well, you're actions make you seem like a slut...but, since your husband got you an apartment be with your boyfriends, live it up The only thing is how does your husband really feel about this? Is he getting any on the side? If he doesn't want any part of it, I'm thinking he doesn't like it that much. This could build up over time and be bad On the other hand, he accepts and what you do, so as long as you're both happy..be happy.

TeriT2 Hi TeriT2, it's me again. I've been doing some thinking about why some husbands get angry when their wives cheat. (certainly not us husbands at this web site). Maybe, what it really is, the thought of their wives having sex with someone else actually turns them on. They won't admit it, (in this homophobic world in which we live) so their alternative is to get angry so nobody finds out that they're actually turned on. I think it takes someone who's really honest with themselves, (and their wife) to understand that the image of your wife, getting it on with someone else, is such a huge turn-on. I only came to realize this by living with a very sexually active woman when I was 20 years old. She'd go out with her "friends" and come home and still want sex from me. It was always obvious that she'd had sex, and I always felt hurt and embarassed, but I was ALWAYS just SO turned on! I never really understood those feelings until I was in my late 30's. I guess my point is that maybe your husband is really turned on by the thought of you having sex, but he just can't admit it to you or anybody else. (just a thought) YOUR STILL SEXY!

K Mc. I don't believe my husband is turned on by my cheating in the least. He is soooo straight laced I just can't see him wanting to be a part of it. He is in his mid-30s now, and I've noticed no change in his attitudes. He has never been angry by my cheating, not even when I told him about fucking my ex-boyfriend the day after our wedding. He was hurt, but not angry.

You mentioned homophobic. Do you think husbands who are turned on by their wives cheating are homosexual? I have never considered the connection so give me more insight if you would.

I will understand if you think my question is too permisteral and would rather not answer. And thank you for being so supportive and open. Your wife is a very lucky woman.

Theresa

TeriT2 About the "Homosexual" thing. NO, I don't think all men that get turned on by the idea of their wife cheating are homosexual. I'm sure some of them are. I have no desire what so ever to suck or get fucked by another man, but the idea of a wife, being naughty, getting some one the side, is just a huge turnon for me. What I meant up above about homophobia is that I'm sure a lot of guys WON'T let themselves get turned on by the idea of a cheating wife. If they did that, they might FEAR that they ARE homosexual. I'm not a psychologist, but those are just my thoughts. By the way, if your husband changed, and wanted you to come home "dirty", would you do that for HIM? Love reading you Theresa! By the way, my wife isn't that lucky, at least in this way. She won't take advantage of the opportunity I've given her. Kevin [email protected]

My suggestion to you is to stop trying to put a label on yourself and/or your husband. You and your husband appear to be content if not happy with the "arrangement" that has developed between you as a married couple. The arrangement works; that is all that is important.

You are lucky to be married to a husband that believes in discreetness. The apartment that he rents for you to get it on with the other men is his way of protecting his reputation and yours. When I was on active duty in the Marines (SEMPER FI!) the wife of our camp commandant, a full-bird colonel, was just like you; if it was human and male, she wanted to fuck it. She was not only the camp whore she was also the whore for the civies in the town nearest to the camp. The colonel had no idea that his wife was cucking him. Unfortunately, most guys lose respect for a man whose wife is basically stabbing him in the back. This is especially bad in the military; where if an officer loses the respect of the men under him, the men might hesitate when given a critical command. When that happens, especially in the Marines, somebody dies.

I wish you and your husband all the best that life has to offer.
A man has not lived until he watches another man fuck his wife!

So what part of virginia are u in.......u sound like someone i would love to meet
VA BEACH STALLION

Being a military retiree I can relate to the problems you faced with long separations. Trust me when I say its hard for him, as it is for you. It was hard on me to be away from my family.

First, there is one definition of a cuckold, but many levels in which both of you can enjoy this lifestyle, how far you wish to take it is entirely up to you and your husband. You two have to decide what will work for you.

Second, there are a lot of fantasies posted in these forums which is entirely different from reality. Learn to separate the two. This is not to say you shouldn' t try out some of these fantasies, by all means do. Use common sense though.

Third, if both of you wish to continue the lifestyle, you both need to sit down together and COMMUNICATE. Establish limits, determine whats acceptable and what isn't.

Listening to happily married lifestyle couples, they all have one thing in common. Using common sense is mandatory.

1. The other man, is always regarded as a "Third Permister". He is not allowed to interfere with your marriage. What happens in your marriage, your decisions, your relationship with your husband will not be influenced by him. Maintaining your marriage, doing things together as a husband and wife, and doing things that will bring you closer, MUST remain your highest priority. Family always comes first!!!! Your husband is still the Number One man in your life.

2. Communications. This means the both of you have to sit down and talk. Express dislikes and likes, establish rules, boundaries, and hard limits. Be willing to take the appropriate actions and decisions that will affect favorably upon your marriage and relationship. For example, some couples have at times decided to take a break from the lifestyle when needed to preserve their relationship and marriage. Be prepared to do this if needed.

Establish a "Safe Word". This is an uncommon word that can be used by you or your husband to cease all activity, and talk it out. Respect the safe word. Its there for a reamister.

3. Respect. At lot of activities in this lifestyle seem like a contradiction to
being respectful. Some are downright humilating, which some of us cucks love. But, lets face it, its hard to respect a man that allows his wife to enjoy sex with other men. BUT, if you want to maintain your marriage, you need to learn to respect him for the permister he is. This may come to a shock to you, but it takes a very, VERY strong man to be submissive, and a cuckold. That alone, at least in my eyes, commands respect.

4. Intimacy. Yes, there's a lot of talk in these forums about the wife denying sex to the husband, but happily married cuckold couples have learned that they miss the intimacy they both shared and enjoyed. And have gone back to having sexual relations.

This has to be worked out between you two. Decide what works, what doesn't.

5. Know the risks. This lifestyle has its risks. Unwanted pregnancy, STDs (Sexually Transmitted Disease), Loss of Relationship, and Physical use by a lover, just to name a few. Make the right decisions together, and take the appropriate action to reduce or eliminate these risks.

6. Do things that build trust between you and your spouse. Having trust in the other permister while enjoying this lifestyle is mandatory. Don't lie, be honest, don't hide things, allow input from him. He needs to know beyond a shadow of doubt that he is still, and always will be the Number One Man in your life regardless of your outside activities.

By all means, enjoy the lifestyle. Keep in mind that its to be enjoyed by everyone involved. Not just you or your lovers. If something doesn't seem right, its probably isn't. Listen to the alarms going off in the back of your mind. Though mutual discussion, and learning from experiences, you two will need to decide what works for you and what doesn't. Don't let others influence this.

Keep in touch with your permisteral value system. This will help you do the right things as well. And.....listen to you heart.

Good Luck
She left me for another man and
divorced me. Haven't heard from
her since. Would love to know the fun she's having and what she's telling him about me.

Again, thank you all for your comments and advise. K Mc, no, I would not come home "dirty".

Amazon, I observed many Officer's and enlisted wives who were pretty much the way you describe. I was not one of them. I am quite discrete with my affairs and have always considered anyone working with my husband, or who even know him as an absolute no no. As far as anyone who knows Dave knows, I am a perfectly faithful wife. Dave was a Navy Officer when we met, when we married, and for another 3 years after we married. He has since left the Navy, completed his Doctoriate, and is a corporate Vice President. Were his co-workers to know of my activities, I am sure it would affect his career, so I am quite careful.

Va, I don't live in Virginia. My husband was stationed on a ship in Norfolk when we married. He has since left the Navy and we live in the city where I was reared and we met.

Twisted, you're a very intelligent man. Your advise is well taken.

Again, thank you all for your response and advise. Hopefully I will mend my ways in the future and be the wife Dave deserves.

Terri