Initial Ground Rules / Boundaries For Cuckold First Timers?

Hi all,

I'm curious what boundaries others have set on their first outings at being cuckolded? I'm thinking there are 3 people who need them set: the hotwife, the cuckold and the bull.

What are the rules that helped your "first time" be successful? What are some that you wish you hadn't set? Were any broken?

I'm thinking, in particular, rules that will make first timers feel safe in "making it happen". Not the "titillation" types of rules like "the cuck should never touch himself unless instructed". There's plenty of those lists on this site. I'm thinking that's for further down the road.

I'm still a wannabe, but finally with some future potential as you can read about here:

https://www.cuckoldplace.com/1_77712_1.html

If my wife DOES start considering "the real deal" but is worried about it all, what are some boundaries that can allay her fears and help her (and myself) be more comfortable moving forward?

Thanks!

PS - if you like captions, check mine out here:

https://www.cuckoldplace.com/27_74912_1.html
Wannabe - see my captions at http://www.cuckoldplace.com/27_74912_1.html

My wife cuckolded me for about a year with our neighbor/best friend. It was a little bit of a different type situation I call hotwife with splash of cuckold. I pretty much gave them the run of things...I didn't restrict her in any way...but then again it was not an extreme cuckold type situation. If I could convince her to do it again...I would go with something like this:

1. We both have to agree on the individual(s).

2. Any one of the two can stop it at any time, as hard as it may be.

3. Come up with a "safe word"

4. Is playing alone allowed?

5. Watching allowed?

6. Who has control the most during the cuckolding?

7. Who is to know about it?


When it comes down to it...its all up to you and her and on what each is comfortable with. Every couple is a bit different. Basically, how exteme do you two want to go? Good luck and I look forward to your continued updates on all your threads.

I think you both have to agree what your boundaries are. A good way is to sit down togther and write a list of No-go areas and compare lists and then agree.. I think boundaries and agreement are always the best way forward..

Always talk, try to keep the boundaries where you both feel able to cope with the emotions. Chances are, those boundaries will move gradually - they have moved so far for us - if you want to read about it, you can find our story here:

https://www.cuckoldplace.com/6_58380_22.html

The main thing is to keep talking though... Oh, and remember, if and when you get that flood of jealousy, that you wanted it too. She will need re-assurance at that point probably that it is ok...

We agree with the points Allen makes, good communication is vital! twohorny also makes a very important point about re-assuring the wife if hubby gets jealous. I always make a practice of demonstrating extra love and affection to my partner just before and after she plays with other men.

I was thinking about this topic a little bit more. I don't see it as being a rule between the two of you, but something just for you to keep in mind.

If and when (probably when) you get the angst going... the jealousy and fear and the "OMG, what I am doing?" feeling, promise yourself that you will keep it to yourself for a couple of days. Just do whatever it takes to hold it inside and not have a meltdown.

I think that's the quickest way to turn off a woman who is having some second thoughts herself. When that happens, she can very easily say to herself, "You know, I think this stuff is just too much trouble."

xoxoxo

Allen, brainbox, twohorny, QueenB and He, bpop -

Thanks so much for the responses. Very good advice. I will keep it in mind as we (hopefully) move forward.

Besides the untimely jealousy you mentioned, do any of you have any other "don't do this" types of warnings for those of us "on the verge"?

Thanks!
Wannabe - see my captions at http://www.cuckoldplace.com/27_74912_1.html

<< do you have any other "don't do this" types of warnings >>

Yes, I do have one other one, though much less of an issue than the previous one.

You probably have some idea of her negative hot buttons. For example, some women love being called a slut, and others hate it intensely. There are others, but I'm sure you get the idea.

Here's my "don't do this" warning: Don't let your excitement cloud your memory on this issue, and call her whatever-it-is-that-pisses-her-off. You can fill in the blank, knowing her. Or if you can't, then ask her. She'll tell you, if she hasn't already.

And don't assume that whatever it is has changed. It almost certainly hasn't.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

The only time I ever got jealous was on New Years a couple years back. We were all out on a New Years bus tour with friends, family, and my wife and her bf (our old neighbor/best friend). He is still one of our best friends. When we all arived back at the houses, my wife ended up over at his house, she asked me, or told me...I don't remember...that she wanted to stay overnight. She had until then wondered what it would be like to stay the night, but was never able to before. With kids it makes it hard to explain that.

Anyway, she spent the few hours over at his place, fucking and sucking the first day of the new year at his place, and on top of it...woke up in his arms...not mine. Now that was the one and only jealous moment for me. Oh, and she forgot some cloths at his place, went back around noon to collect and fucked him again.

One thing you will have to know about being cuckolded...once it happens, and if she decides to stop...you will miss it like nothing you have ever missed before. It is a high that can not be topped. At least for me it was.

bpop and Allen - thanks SO much for sharing those insights! They appear to be VERY sound advice.

Question to all: when "confessing" your cuckold desires, as in you want to move it beyond the step of just fantasizing, how do you best keep the focus on "the relationship" rather than just the sex?

I can see my wife asking "what do you MEAN this will be good for our relationship? HOW?"

And me going "uh.... just because" like a dummy.

What are some good answers (from a WOMAN's perspective) to that question?
Wannabe - see my captions at http://www.cuckoldplace.com/27_74912_1.html