Please help me to figure out if I am ... and how to ...
We have been together for years. She was an active escort and I was one of her regular clients. As connected, felt good about being together so moved in years ago.
Since moving in she not advertised and only accepts a few 'old' timers occassinally. I still remember the 'sick' but 'exciting' feeling taking her to downtown for a 'friend' on the business trip. just cannot describe that feeling. when she back home, i was kind of angry and nervous. i could not look at her and say or ask her calmly. my hands and voice were shaking. she said i was just too jealous. still, she 'served' me very very well that night and the following nights. that was a summer night on 2003.
even now, i knew from time to time she still taking care her 'clients'. and sometimes she 'exchange' herself for something from her friend, such as ??? for a great professional massage. whenever i receive a great 'retreat' when i get home, i know she had one. well, i don't know exactly why she doing that. financially, we are ok as we don't have any big loan and my income is sufficient for her to buy stuffs.
i have kind of feeling she enjoys doing that or she gets so used doing that. we been swing clubs from time to time. still, she does not want give more detail from her 'escorting' nights when i ask.
i told her that i get excited to hear that. she always told me it is just a business and she want to protect her client. i think i am a cuckold and i told her about that. many times, she gets interested and excited to listen my fantasies, such as being tied up and watching her doing other men. still, she just makes me jerk and makes relax and comfort.
does she doing that on purpose? to treat me as her slave? how do i get her telling me more detail of her 'escorting'?
b.t.w. we both are in early 40.
