Giving In

I lost my wife to another man two years ago. The way it happened and the circumstances I guess were stereotypical for a wimp like me...he won...I lost.

But now that I have learned so much about myself I'm ready to accept my submissiveness and even embrace it. Nothing...I mean nothing turns me on more than losing out to another man. There, I said it. I have even learned how to set myself up to lose, intentionally.

I'm not a bad looking man, with a lot of charm. I have no trouble attracting women. I was recently dating an attractive woman for about six months. It seemed it was getting serious, as if she was waiting for me to propose. That's when I realized I didn't deserve her. We were at a local dance when one of her ex-boyfriends showed up. Big guy, arrogant and aggressive. Everyone new he wanted her back. She was always afraid to be alone with him again because she slipped up once and said he's so "persuasive".

With about an hour left of the evening I faked a phone call from a friend in need which required my leaving. I insisted she stay and have a good time and I would call in the morning. Well, the rest is predictable. According to my friends he had his way with her and they left together. I eventually lost her.

I enjoyed the masochism of setting up and then placing my girl in a vulnerable situation so the other man could step in and take advantage of her. I fantasize about the opportunity of kneeling before the other man and asking him to take my girl while slowly kissing his cock and showing him respect.

Are there any other masochistic wimps out there like me...start a dialog?

I think this is at the heart of the cuckold fetish - the eroticization of the fear of losing out in the competition for females. Cuckold fetishists like us play with this fear to stimulate ourselves (and in the process reduce the hold it has on us.) The difference between you and many on this site is a matter of degree. Some men just fantasize, some talk aloud with their lover, some roleplay with the partner, some play in real life - which is often just multi-person role play. Few actually live it as integrated to their real life ever. You have had a powerful experience of that. Congratulations.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

I know where you're coming from. I lost a long term girlfriend, but not to the bull who was fucking her, although he had a big (thick) part in it. We were together for 5 years, cuckolding for the last 1.5 years. She started seeing a mutual friend for 6 months before she dumped me. I don't think she told this friend about our lifestyle, but she didn't need to... they would openly make out at bars and places our friends visited. I think she did tell him that I was too much of a chickenshit to do anything about it, because he acted like I wasn't a problem.

Anyways the part that I can relate to is intentionally sabotaging relationships. That's what happened with this gf and the bull she was seeing. When we started cuckolding, I would organize everything and just present her with photos (face/body/cock) of all the potential bulls who we would then meet for a *****. After the first few times went well, I started getting riskier and screening for aggressive, cocky guys who were into domination & ***********. Also, she knew I was bi and we had played together with pegging, but she hadn't ever seen me suck off another man, let alone get face fucked by one.

So long story short... be careful what you wish for. My girlfriend wasn't prepared to see some of the things I readily accepted at this bull's feet, and I think it ruined her image of me as a man she could be with. To be fair, she had no idea I was capable of giving away my dignity so easily. But I did. Over the time they we're seeing each other, this guy basically turned my mouth into a golf club cover for his dick. I would spend hours at a time, kneeling between his legs while he sat on the couch or laid in bed, and suckling on his cock while I slowly worked the tip with my tongue.

The most humiliating incident, which I suspect really broke me in my girl's eyes, was when she found out about the suck-while-he-shits sessions. Yes, that's exactly what it sounds like. She didn't actually catch me doing it, and it's kind of funny how she found out. We all were at a hotel together and she was getting a spa treatment while he was staying in bed, watching sports and surfing the web. I was at my usual station, between his thighs, mindlessly nursing on daddy cock. She came into the room, gave him a kiss, looked down at me and saw this big red mark on my forehead. So naturally she asks him what happened to me and why did I develop a rash on my face in the last half hour. He just laughed and said, " You're gonna think this is funny. I was feeding him (that what they call it when I suckle him slowly) but then I had to take a dump, so I took him into the toilet with me and propped my laptop on his face while I did my business. Oops, I guess I left it there too long. Sorry". She was speechless.

After that trip, she asked me if I was gay and/or had an addiction to cock. Not long after that she became more distant and eventually she started seeing the guy she eventually left me for and married. I'm sure there were other things that led to her leaving me but I know for certain that if I didn't bitch out so hard for this guy, we would have stayed together longer than we did.

Inspiring socalsubtm. Thanks for sharing! I for one would love to hear any details of the conversations around the break-up if you care to share.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.