Have you considered the rampant man?
The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!It'll give her a bigger cock to enjoy, as well as some clit stimulation, but also binds you quite tightly and takes the edge of the feeling.
My wife lets me use it on her in conjunction with a couple of cock rings, a condom and some numbing cream to desensitize me and make me last a bit longer.
There are a handful of hollow strapons available too which may also satisfy both of your needs. Alas, we've not had nearly as much fun with them as we have with the Rampant Man!
There are a couple of mouth harness type ones you could also look at - although it might be a bit extreme for her if she's quite vanilla!
Hope that helps! Have fun experimenting!
