New little toy

I got to looking at this thing one day... it comes with a clip and another bungie - its for hanging tools from your toolbelt.

I've always wanted to try a cock ring, but was embarassed to buy one, because of my tiny cock and little balls. Sometimes my sack shrinks up so much, my wife has to pull and pull on my ball sack to make it reach to her asshole because she says she needs to "feel something, because I can barely feel your tiny cock" and sometimes I can't get hard unless she starts yanking on my balls.

So, this bungie thing has a slide on it and a ball at the end (1st Pic) slip the loop around your cock and balls then slide the slide up with the ball hanging down. (2ndPic)
Be careful, go slow or you might pinch your skin. (even I don't care for that)
The icing on the cake is that the little ball goes up your ass. Lay down or stand and pull your tiny penis, and the harder you pull, the more the ball pulls on your asshole. It might fall out a couple of times, but if you clench your ass right you will come like a rocket.
I took some pics modeling it, but I got embarrassed about how little my cock looked. And I think it only cost 10 bucks.

cock rings are usually cheaper and no one really cares about folks buying them. but as a friendly alternative, why not take a look at the local autoparts store for a o-ring. just tell the counterman that its for a special application and that you need to see which oe works best. this way you don't need to know a size.
you're killing me smalls

Where do you get one of these from?