Kana
Member
Posts: 62
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According DNA test of yellow-headed blackbird eggs, 45 to 65 percent of nestlings were not maned by the social man. Females mate with subordinate males from within their social group, and the male partners play an active role in assisting a female bird to raise her young, contributing up to 60 percent of the work involved in incubating the eggs and feeding the offspring. Before that, courting, feeding the female and building the nest. Coupling with another male provides the female with high-end genes of her preferences and maximizes female birds’ chances of having healthy offspring. To assure this benefit the females have developed strong responses for cheating. The copulating lasted longer and sperm was found deeper in the ovary system. In a word, the female birds had more successful sex when cheating. If the introduced male was genetically superior to the social partner, with one copulation he could fertilize up to 80% of the eggs while one copulation while the social mate would fertilize by average 2.5% of the eggs. Copulation with alpha male is as good as 30 copulations with the social mate. “So even a little cheating can have big benefits,” he says.
The females, however, deprived their mates of access to other females by disrupting their extra-pair copulations and driving other females from their mates. When the females were successful in this, the social mates remained increasingly committed, since their genes only had a chance of being with their mates’ eggs. And with those males, in cases where the males observed the female coupling with other male, 80% of those males would still remain with the female.
Why? One could say since they knew their genes were not anywhere else, and at least they had chance (however slim) of being the man of the eggs they were hatching.
Those birds are not actually calculating odds or benefits. They just follow urges and instincts. Those birds have it right, right? They do it because it feels good and right, without guilt. I mean, it must feel better if it is 30 times more fruitful, or, maybe it is fruitful because it feels 30 times better. It works for the females and alpha males, but what’s in it for the cuckolded males? They are making a choice of behavior too, and actually picking the best option for them, so why wouln’t that be satisfying for them?
In human terms, your man is very likely in some ways like those 80% of the blackbird males who stay willingly even when they know what she is up to. Every male creature has a biological trait. To compete with other males and adulterous females, they have developed something called ‘Sperm competition’. It’s widely documented phenomena but I’ll give you the basics.
In evolutionary terms human mating system has always been something between a tight alpha lead pack mating system (earlier) and a free sperm competing system (later). In alpha pack the leader mates with everyone while other males watch, and if they manage to get their shot at it, they better be quick and efficient. In sperm competing system everyone mates but males with biggest testicles produce most sperm and have best chances. Everyone with millions of years with such history have adapted, and adapted well. For both systems, the main adaptation is ‘sperm competition’, meaning, men and males get aroused from watching or hearing sex, building up more fluids and momentum and persistency. Then they try to take these into action, displacing or overwhelming the seeds of others before and after them.
Now, most of the males (and females) would say that ‘yeah watching sex is hot, but…’ if it would be your woman in action with other male, it would be absolutely the opposite and not arousing at all. And yes in many ways it would be hard: when things involve emotions, expectations, assumptions and moral things do get complicated. But any man that says it wouldn’t be arousing – if the emotional part did not effect – is lying. Actually, if only the biologics were involved, it is the most arousing thing when your mate is involved. The body tells you must do everything to improve your chances with this one you have invested so much in. Most men will never admit that it would be arousing. They are defending their exclusive rights to their women, social position, religion, learned morals or values, and permisteral beliefs.
Well it can all be inverted if you know what you are doing. Let’s go back to the arousal part, according to Wikipedia: (They call sperm competition arousal cuckolding fetish)
The excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain. When a man witnesses or believes that his female mate may have been sexual with another man, the man mate is very strongly aroused, trying to end up in situation where he could copulate with the female, in an effort to "compete" with the other man's sperm. The effects of sperm competition are well documented.[4] The cuckolded man is prone to be very attentive and inclined on courting in order for allowance for sexual encounters. Meanwhile, the female enjoys greater sexual stimulation, first by her other lover and second by efforts of her cuckolded mate. Due other dynamics in such relation, the female is usually in a position to receive all the courtship, and to deny the act for as long as she wishes.
At early stage of any romantic relationship the female enjoys the neurochemical "highs" that include the effects of oxytocin and other neurochemicals which trigger excitement, euphoria and other similar feelings. Over time and as a relationship persists, the neurochemicals change to ones that promote bonding, planning and nurturing. However, with each new lover taken, the female can enjoy these exiting and euphoric highs, while going back to safe home to safe, loving and attending mate.
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Kana
Member
Posts: 62
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I would guess you have had thoughts and craving about other men, and most likely felt really bad and guilty about them. Perhaps you worried what is wrong about you and if it means don’t you love your man anymore. Or perhaps you considered them random thoughts that you just ignored, denied or pushed away. As contradicting they might seem, those feelings are very common and have natural explanation, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about them.
Women are biologically designed to want to partner with two very different types of men. It's built into our nature and if we deny our nature we are going to end up very, very unhappy in the long term. Over the years scientists, medical professionals and anthropologists have documented how and why it's not natural for a woman to be faithful to one man.
You see, women are programmed by nature to want a solid, reliable long-term partner. Nature did that to ensure there would be someone to protect us from wild a****ls and make sure our caves were stocked with food, so we would have a safe place to raise our c***dren. These are the men we are emotionally attracted to.
Unfortunately for these types of men, nature doesn't want us to mate with the guys who stick around and protect us. Nature doesn't care if he's smart, funny or has more mammoth hides than any of the other cave dwellers.
Nature wants us to mate with strong, virile men who can beat the cuckolds brownie out of the other men, have strong immune systems and produce the highest quality DNA sperm. These types of testosterone driven men rarely, if ever, make good long-term partners; but they are the ones that get us hot and bothered.
Which means our instincts make us want to marry the types of guys we really don't want to have sex with, but want to have sex with the types of guys who would make awful marriage material.
This is borne out by recent scientific research into feminine arousal. It seems that during the non-fertile parts of our cycle, we are attracted to sensitive caring men with soft features. But, when we’re ovulating, we suddenly find these types of men to be a turn-off and instead get seriously wet for stud boy cavemen. In fact, the women were shown to be very unlikely to orgasm if they had sex with their primary partner during ovulation, but very likely to experience ecstasy if they cheated during this part of their cycle. And what scientists have found out and proven, everyone has always known: Cheating sex feels very, very good.
Well, these scientists theorize that this came about so we'd have just enough sex with our long-term partners to make them think they were the mans of our c***dren – and therefore help us care for them – while also making it less likely we'd mate with these men when we were fertile, but to go for the other kind of sex when it matters.
So, do not to feel bad about such urges, they are inevitable and natural. It doesn't means you don't love your man – you’re just normal healthy woman who needs to get serviced by a stud a couple times a month.
For such a setting, female sexual desires have to be more differentiated than those of men. Nature regulates this by not allowing them full sexual satisfaction with the lesser male who may be their permanent partner. They may bond ok with a lesser male, and develop the emotions summarized as "love", but there is an element that becomes obvious to them only over time. This element is her desire for sexual satisfaction with a male who is better equipped to bring her to the level of sexual pleasure that results in a vaginal orgasm. Thus, female sexual, more than male sexual desire, is dualistic: have a love relationship with a permanent partner, and seek sexual satisfaction with an alpha male. For this reamister we have to make sense of the following: almost all men have no problem, and great pleasure, in achieving orgasm and ejaculation through sexual intercourse with a female. But females only achieve sexual satisfaction through vaginal intercourse with men of an alpha built (which means: men who have a particular large penis). The above explanation tries to make sense of this phenomenon by assuming that the female incapacity for vaginal orgasms with men with penises of an average size has been developed in the course of evolution in order to make sure that the females of the human species will seek out sexual relationships with alpha males (large penises) in spite of being bonded to lesser males (average penises).
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“Women cheat. Often. One of the most dramatic advantages, genetically, of being female is that there is never any doubt of parentage. In other words, a lady knows with 100% certainty that her c***d is her own. (This, of course, doesn’t take into account modern medical procedures, but you get the point.) Since evolution is not concerned with ethics, only successful reproduction, it stands to reamister that females would have learned to take advantage of this fact. They clearly have. Though the numbers vary slightly depending on the particular culture, one thing has been proven rather conclusively. In cultures that are primarily or strictly monogamous, cuckoldry is common. In the landmark study, conducted in Liverpool in the 1980s, it was discovered that less than 70% of c***dren were actually related to the man who believed himself to be the man.´
If it is true that human nature is the cause of this phenomenon, we ought to see biological evidence. It so happens that the evidence is striking. Recent investigations of the female orgasm have given us a rather shocking dose of reality. It has long been known that there are some female orgasms that cause more sperm to be retained after sex. These are called high-retention orgasms. Obviously, high retention orgasms have a higher probability of inducing pregnancy. What was shocking to researchers was when they examined orgasms alongside fidelity. Among unfaithful wives, only 40 percent of their orgasms with their husbands were high-retention orgasms. Even more shocking, though, was the fact that over 70 percent of the orgasms with their adulterous lovers were high-retention.
The combination of these numbers is shocking. Though women tended to have sex with their husbands way more than their lovers, they were still more likely to conceive with their lover than with their husband. It appears that women have a biological drive to keep their husband while bearing the c***d of another man.“
Well no one really is trying to get a c***d on those trips... but it just feels better; our instincts at work.
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As conclusion, sperm competition situation turns on all men, but on certain men it is easier capitalize on. Typically men above his 30’s, who are secure and confident in life have no significant issues accepting their nature and submitting to a woman.
"Boys and insecure, jealous man has always been a HUGE turn off for me… When a handsome, powerful, successful man came along that I quickly fell in love with and introduced me to the cuckold lifestyle…OMG! No more macho drama! Just intense, out of this world hours of lovemaking, that unfortunately most of you who are not secure with your own cocks will ever understand. Sorry : )"
You can easily test your man. One night tell him you want him to imagine he’s doing Britney Spears or Cindy Crawford while he makes love to you. The next night tell him that you are going to be thinking of your fantasy man while you make love. As things build up see how he reacts when you moan the other guy’s name in bed. If he suddenly erupts you’ll know he has some latent cuckold tendencies. However keep that as a single incident until much later.
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