Courtesan

To everyone who has tried to make sense out of a nonsensical situation

Everything you say is true and I understand it.

The fact is that for a variety of reamisters, I spent several days writing very intensively. I wore myself out. If you follow my stories you know I have a tendency to do that. Once I was tired I got frustrated. I shouldn't have, for all the reamisters that have been pointed out to me today. Sadly I was already well aware of most of them.

My wife stepped in to protect me, and if you follow my writing you also know that she has a tendency to do that.

Right now the only thing that might keep me from finishing this story at this site is my own chagrin.

Goodhusband

Priss

You have always been a wonderful supporter of my writing and a good friend.

GH

GH,
I started reading tonight from the botttom, hence my PM to you. I now see what all the fuss is about.

I think everyone else has got in already and said the key things. It will be a sad day if you are really going from here. I have tried to post as much as I can on various stories, but really it is only you and Stormy at the moment. Some of the other show promise but haven't really got the volume out yet.

As others have said, I think it really does depend on why you are writing and what you want feedback for. You say you judge success on hits but then say that lack of comments saddens you, maybe that is your real success factor. Some writers seem to use comments to steer their stories. Seems daft to me, particularly with a longer one and I don't think you do this, or should.

A long story is a major committment from you, the writer but also from us the readers. We are reading yours and many others on other sites, including Literotica. Most of us have limited time. Permisterally, I always copy and paste. I can then read at will, not online. This by itself limits comments, although I try. The problem with a long story to someone who has limited time is that once you miss a few days, you are potentialy faced with having to catch up an enormous amount. That may be why, when you post huge volumes, your count goes down, people can't keep up and drop out. I also have always believed that the cuck audience is particularly shy. You only have to see the hostile comments on Lit to understand one reamister why. I think it would be easier to come out as Gay or Lesbian in many places than as a Cuck or a lover of the lifestyle. Many will be terrified that ANY comment will somehow identify themselves and simply not do so.

I don't know if you need the stimulus of comments or the pressure derived from starting a post to continue a story. If so, you will always be in this spiral you put yourself in, Lisa is quite right to kick you out of it whenever it starts to affect you or your life together. If however, you don't really need this, then I humbly suggest once more that you finish a story first, edit it, polish it, rewrite bits and then post it a few hundred words at a time every two days. You'll still get the comments, they just won't impact your writing on that story. Easier on Lit too.

Finally, I need to say that I am reminded of the famous (but difficult to follow) maxim, "If you love something enough, you should be prepared to let it go." I do, and I am, but its tough, very tough. Live well GH. Whatever you do.

GH, what can I say except I feel your pain! There are unquestionably times when it becomes very depressing to know how much time and effort you put into your work and see how few hits or comments it might be generating.
I think that's less a problem with the story than it is with the readers - people are busy, time is limited, and we just don't always think to stop and say thanks. Our failings, not yours.
As for me, I am always amazed and thrilled when I stop by after a couple of days and you have more than one new segment up. I don't know how you do it, but I sit and read through two or three posts - which only moves the number ticker up one click. Maybe you should give yourself a break and only post once every three or four days, give everyone a chance to read each post before the next appears. I'm impatient, I'd be chomping at the bit for the next segment, but so what - go ahead and *** me, I can take it! Just a thought.

On the other hand, if, as you say above, only your own chagrin is preventing you from posting more... Well, dig your toe in the sand a little, give us an "Aw, shucks", and move forward. It's OK to be embarrassed by the hubbub, you're among friends here. We all make decisions when we're a little tired or down that we wish we could retract later - and this one you can (if Lisa will allow it).

Whatever you do, I'll follow you to Lit if you decide in that direction. I just really enjoy the usually friendly camaraderie of this site - and the ease of editing, as you say.
Take care my friend, and keep us posted on your decision.

storm

P.S. By the way, in case I haven't mentioned it, this is a damn fine story!! Thanks!

By the way, I have a question for you. In one of the ads at the top of the page it says "Watch over 50 black men attempt to get me pregnant."
Wouldn't it be more fun to watch and give her a better chance of getting pregnant if the men were under 50??

Stormy, you're too funny. Hey, stop picking on us seniors. It's not bad enough that our stamina is constantly under scrutiny, now you're taking a shot at our virility? What's a male Cougar called anyway, besides a dirty old man?

GH, I think Stormy has hit upon a great suggestion. Maybe smaller segments, spaced further apart. I know we all look forward to and enjoy your multiple chapters, but if the toll on you is too much, it's not worth it. More golf, less writing, at least once the weather gets nicer.

I echo everyone else, I will follow your writing wherever you decide to post it. It's some of the best I've ever read and I enjoy it very much.

Stormy, you're quite the comedian too.

Hi Mike and Lisa,

sorry to see you go GH but I can understand why, I have done a few captions rather than stories and while i don't keep track of numbers viewing the thread if plenty of people are telling you that they like them and wanting to see more then there is motivation to keep going when I have some spare time. But it is very easy to stop when people aren't asking for more and getting involved.

I wish you all the best and if you could please let me know where you will be posting the rest of the story I would be very grateful as it is quickly turning into one of my favourites and I would love to hear how it continues. Would it be possible for you to also email me the updates as you will do for Techcuck or is that just because you are friends?

mark.x

Dear Mike and Lisa,

We are all human, we all make mistakes. Let us also have the ability to forgive and move on again. We all wish you well whatever you decide to do and for me after many years of lurking I finally had courage to try and write a storry. In part to try and put something back into this site and also as a thank you to so many great writers... Your husband gave me some encouragement and I greatly value that. He is a 'master' of the art.

With my very very best wishes
ColinRupert

GH,
I only just found all this, as I'm sure your aware I've not been on here of late, not due to there being anything wrong just busy with real life with the lead up to Christmas then the holiday itself

I feel terrible now not to of commented more as you know I really am a fan of your writings and love your understanding of the topic and your attention to detail, I'll miss you very much if you hang up your pen but you must do what you feel is best for you.......

Good luck GH and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the massive amount of effort you have put in over the years...

Mel x

In the end, the others above are right, GH (especially peakm who is a very thoughtful permister): you should take it easy and think about your own life. It is very good that you have a wife who wants to protect you, and if you are suffering from stress as a result of your selfless commitment to writing and posting stories, then you probably should think better about what you are doing.

In my permisteral life, I have a tendency to overwork (I'm a researcher, and people in my area tend to be very motivated). So I'll sometimes go without relax, neglect other stuff (like the damn leaking pipe in the bathroom sink), sometimes forget other assignments and commitments just because a certain task has fascinated me to the point that my priority list is upside down or simply forgotten.

Maybe you're putting too much of yourself into writing. Maybe you're seeing it as a responsibility, as your duty towards us, the readers. Maybe you're giving too much importance to not letting us down.

I would feel bad indeed if you ended up damaging your health just because of us.

Take it easy, GH. Writing your stories should be a pleasure to you -- ideally, I would think, you should feel relaxed and well while writing and after writing another segment. If you're thinking in terms of deadlines and not letting us down... as if this were your day job, as if your income depended on it... then something is wrong.

Please take care, GH. Nothing is more important in this world than real people. And however much I like the characters into which you put so much of yourself (you said once that you fell in love with every female character, and my impression is you're at least best friends with every male character as well , I like real people even more, and you are a real permister.

I have avoided reading it only because I was sure (based on past work) it was awesome, and I wanted to save the best for a rainy day, so to speak. Save the best for last, that kind of thing. Sort of like how I won't listen to Abbey Road more than once every few years.
Be the different drummer.

So be it.

Thank you,

I will follow your advice. From now on I will take it easy and write only for my own permisteral enjoyment.

GH

Mel

It is wonderful to hear from you. Please don't feel bad about not commenting. I have always known what you were doing and why you weren't posting. I understand the nature of your business and just how important the holidays are to you. I am actually glad that you were too busy to read stories here. It suggests that you had a productive seamister.

I am happy to hear from you. You have always been a very intuitive and insightful permister, and I value your comments and opinions.

I have said it before, and I will say it again. Tony is a very lucky man.

Your friend

GH

GH, your stories are simply the best. I didn't visit this site much until discovering your "novels" here, but have regularly checked in to read all your writings for the past 3 years.

Literotica had been my favorite site until your work appeared here, and it will be again if that is where you choose to write from now on. Literotica has some other benefits, too. Along with having many excellent authors to attract more readers, your stories don't end up back on page 50 a year after completion like they do here.

However, the one really big advantage to posting here is that we readers truely get to know you from all the banter going on in the postings. There is not another author anywhere that I feel I know anywhere near as well as you. On this site, your own character comes out for all of us to see (and like). Damned if we don't even know when you like to take your golf vacations! For me, and I'm sure many others of us out here, this is a very special situation that is not found elsewhere. It's like you've been on a talk show every week for 3 years! You won't get that at the Literotica site.

Best wishes wherever you go. Just don't stop writing. It'd be a crime to quit doing something you're so good at, and that I think you honestly enjoy doing.

Little Roger (and the silent majority)

GH

Let me echo how much I enjoy your stories and well written they are. I have said many times, I find your work enjoyable well written showing a loving side of the lifestyle. I also find them educational. I have joked you should also publish a book with your dinner selections, recipes, and wine pairings and takes. If you did I know I would get a copy. I have used many of your wine choices and take choice when we get chance to go out.

You have a wonderful bride. From her notes I tell of her love and concern of you.

Please keep writing not only for your enjoyment but also for ours.

Your fan

Meijer

Hmmmm........ almost sounds like something Lisa would have said to you GH.

I'm taking the time to catch-up on your last few postings, and find them to be more and more involved and intertwined with a touch of reality. GREAT job !!! Thank you for taking the time for this story.

ps..... Go.... Vikings! Hope they kick ass today and make it to the big game. (this coming from a Steelers fan)
Cuck who loves a creampie.

Goodhusband this is my first and maybe only post I will make here but please do not stop what you are doing. After years and years on the internet you are the only writer I can remember, remembering. You are one of the main reamisters I continue frequent the site. We may be few but those of us who appreciate what you do, truly love your stories.

Also on stories that have a tendancy to be as long as this one I only check back every couple weeks. One post is simply too much of a tease. Though I completely understand that such quality takes time. Continue to take your time, and please understand we love your work.

Kelly extended her right leg and rubbed her toes in my face. "Kiss my foot slaveboy." She giggled. "Show me that you understand exactly how a submissive little wimp like you is supposed to treat a woman."

I obediently cradled Kelly's offered foot in my hands. She cooed with delight when she felt me begin kissing and licking her toes. "That's right slaveboy, get them nice and clean for me. Show me exactly why I chose a man like Chris to be my lover while you're relegated to service as my humble slave.

Kelly closed her eyes. Her breathing seemed to be deeper and a bit quicker. She had a serene smile on her face. I wasn't sure if it was the soothing touch of my tongue on her toes or the thrill of knowing that she could make me humble myself like this for her own enjoyment at any time she might choose. It was probably a combination of the two. In any case, my wife's reaction left little doubt that enjoying herself.

After a moment Kelly opened her eyes and looked down at me with a smirk on her face. "Dicklet, you're not worth much as a lover, but I have to admit that you do make an excellent toe licker."

My wife was being relentless in her efforts to humiliate and degrade me. I smiled to myself. She did warn me before we started and this was exactly what I'd been longing for over the past several years.

As soon as I was done with her toes Kelly pushed her foot into my face. "Now clean the bottom."

My entire body tingled with excitement. I was living a submissive masochists wet dream. I eagerly licked every crease and crevasse on the sole of Kelly's foot with fastidious care. As soon as I was finished I continued on to the top of her foot.

Once that was done I started on her toes again, but my wife quickly stopped me. "That was very good slave." She pulled her foot out of my hands, set it down on the floor and extended her other leg. "That one is done, now you can focus your attention on this one."

I licked that foot clean with equal diligence. When I was finished Kelly smiled approvingly and said, "Very good Dicklet. You're a poor excuse for a man, but you may just turn out to be an adequate slave."

I smiled. My wife was being very creative in her efforts to belittle me.

She rolled over onto her stomach. "It's time to give me a massage."

This was something I'd been doing for Kelly since we first met. I was actually very good at giving massages and my wife always seemed to enjoy them.

"Ms. Mamister."

"Yes Dicklet."

"May I please have permission to get up on the bed next to you?"

"Yes Dicklet, you may."

As I was standing up Kelly said, "Dicklet, that was very polite and respectful. When a slave is in the presence of a superior he must always ask for permission before sitting on a bed or for that matter any piece of furniture. I'll expect you to take particular care to be mindful of that while Mr. Kendricks is here this evening."

"Yes Ms. Mamister, I'll remember that."

"Dicklet, I want a nice long massage. Pay very close attention to the muscles around my neck and shoulders. The events of the past few days have created a lot of tension there."

I spent the next several minutes massaging my wifes taut muscles. I worked hard and I could tell from the slow relaxed rhythm of her breathing that my efforts were having the desired effect on her. Of course Kelly was naked and rubbing her soft beautiful body was also having an effect on me and it wasn't relaxing. As I gave my wife her massage I recognized that this was going to be an evening filled with not only sexual energy and excitement, but also profound frustration. I was certain that Chris and Kelly would be enjoying multiple orgasms. Judging from my wife's current attitude, I was equally certain that she planned to deny me any opportunity for release at all. The submissive masochist in me viewed this realization with excitement and anticipation, but fear and trepidation were creeping into the back of my mind. Tonight was going to be an adventure, but it was also going to be an ordeal.

Kelly opened her eyes and glanced at the alarm clock on the table next to her bed. It was 5:45. She rolled over and smiled at me. "Timmy it's time to put the potatoes in the oven."

Welcome back GH. I'm surprised to be the first to say it. I'm sure I won't be the last. Now, I can't wait to see what the next few hours are going to bring for Tim, just like him really.

As peak said, welcome back, you were missed. Kelly is proving to be a natural at this - much to Timmy's delight! Love the way Timmy is already working himself up, his mind doing half the prep work for him ahead of time. Ahhh, anticipation! Thanks!

cw, now that's funny! Love it!

Great!!! THX GH it was good to log on and see this post, things have been in an upevil over here, so it is good to just relax read your post. THX for continuing the story, I'm quite sure your faithful readers all have red palms by now!!

Peak, Storm and CW

Thank you.

Techcuck.

I'm sorry the past several days were very hectic for me. while I wasn't writing I did take the opportunity to cut and paste some stories from Literotica by other authors that I enjoy. If you would like I will still send them to you.

I'm sorry that I just missed you. I am about to post a much larger segment.

Thank you for what you're doing.

GH

I stopped my wife's massage and popped up. Kelly's abrupt transformation from dominate she-devil to helpful housewife startled me.

I was a bit flustered as I stammered out; "Yes Ms. Mamister, right away. Thank you for noticing the time." I quickly ran into the kitchen. I'd already washed and poked the potatoes so all I had to do was place them in the oven. While I was doing that I took the opportunity to check the roast. Once I'd ascertained that it was cooking nicely I closed the oven door and hurried back to the bedroom.

When I returned my wife was lying on her back on the bed. Her head was propped up by several pillows. There was a distant expression on her face. Her mind seemed to be preoccupied with something.

When she heard me walk into the bedroom Kelly looked up at me. She didn't smile or offer any acknowledgment of my return. She just looked at me.

I watched her. She appeared to be studying me.

After a moment she said, "Check." She patted the spot on the bed next to her and finally smiled. "Come and sit by me Timmy."

I sat down. I was a little confused about what was happening. I was worried that I may have displeased her in some way.

My wife noticed my expression of concern and gently rubbed my thigh. "It's okay babydoll. You haven't done anything wrong." She sighed. "In fact you've been absolutely magnificent."

Kelly paused for a moment. Her expression became serious again. "No, I'm the one who may have screwed up."

I stared at her.

"Sweetheart, while you were in the kitchen I started to think about the last hour and I realized that I said some things to you that were unbelievably cruel."

I smiled at Kelly. "You mean stuff like, 'Dicklet you're a poor excuse for a man, but you may just turn out to be an adequate slave."?

She gasped. "Timmy, please forgive me. That was an awful thing to say."

"Did it excite you when you said it?"

"Yes but..." Kelly's voice trailed off to a whisper. "Timmy, I love you more than anyone else in the entire world. Why does it excite me when I say cruel things to you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Why does it excite me when I hear you say them?"

Kelly stared at me. After a moment she asked, "Aren't you mad at me?" There was a tremor in her voice and a tear was running down her cheek.

I grabbed a tissue from Kelly's bedside table and gently wiped the tear away. "No, not at all. Kelly honey, I don't know why we're the way we are, we just are." I patted her leg. "It's a good thing we found each other."

She smiled at me. "Yes it is."

"Sweetheart, before we started you warned me that you were going to say some very cruel things to me. You also took great care to remind me that this was just a game and that you actually loved and respected me more than any man you've ever met. There were a couple of times in the last hour that I had to remember those words, but I did and I was fine."

I shook my head. "No that's not true. I wasn't fine."

Kelly's expression of hope changed to a look of anguish.

I quickly leaned over, kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear. "I wasn't fine because I was so excited that I almost burst."

My wife laughed and then she grabbed my nipple and gave it a vicious twist. "You bum! Don't scare me like that."

I winked at her. "I'll stop scaring you when you start paying attention to the assurances you gave me before we started playing. Kelly honey, this is a game, but it's a game laced with conflicting messages. At times you're going to be saying things to me that we both know are blatantly untrue." I chuckled. "You wouldn't be a very good dom if all you did was pat me on the head and tell me how much you loved me."

"Timmy are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, but only if it's what you want. Is it?"

“Kelly stared at me. “Why does that matter?”

“Because part of the pleasure I get from the pain and offense you inflict on me comes from knowing that I'm submitting to this *** for your amusement. Did you enjoy the last hour?”

My wife thought for a moment and then she quietly said, "Yes I did. The last hour was unbelievably exciting, but..."

I waited. After a moment she looked at me. "Timmy I almost lost you last week. When I realized that you'd actually left me I wanted to die. Babydoll I can't bear the thought of going through life without you."

Kelly closed her eyes and whispered, "I think I might love this game too much. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose control while we're playing and say or do something that will make you hate me forever."

I picked up my wife's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Kelly honey, think about this. A week ago I discovered that you were cheating on me. Yesterday I learned that you weren't just cheating, you were actually working as a corporate escort. You were not only having sex with several different men a week, you were also going to dinner parties where you put on live sex shows. Tomorrow you have an appointment to see your old boss so that the two of you can discuss the possibility of your returning to work at that job. If the your discussions are successful, you very shortly will be back to regularly having sex with other men and putting on live sex shows at parties."

I smiled at her. "Sweetheart, if our marriage can survive that I don't think calling me a few nasty names is going to be a significant issue."

Kelly grinned at me. "Timothy Jamiemister, as usual, you are very adept at putting problems in perspective."

I kissed my wife. "You did an excellent job of reassuring me before we started playing this game. That was very helpful for me. We also have a safe word. I feel extremely confident that if you ever do get too excited and lose control, the safe word will be all I'll need to bring you back to reality. Kelly, you're a very passionate woman, but you're not crazy."

Kelly laughed. "You have more confidence in my capacity for self restraint than I have."

I stared at her. "I believe that it is possible that you might get swept away by the moment and end up doing something that I would find unpleasant or uncomfortable, maybe even painful; but I do not believe that you would ever even consider deliberately doing something that would actually injure me."

Kelly stared back at me. She was obviously considering what I'd just said. After a moment she smiled. "You're right, I wouldn't do that."

"So we really don't have anything to worry about, do we?"

She sighed. "No Timmy, I guess we don't."

"Do you feel better now?"

Kelly smiled. "Yes, I do."

"Would you like to start playing the game again?"

"Are you sure you want to?"

I chuckled. "Ahhhh yes, very much."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Kelly shook her head. "Timmy I just don't understand how you can possibly be enjoying this."

"Is that what this is all about?"

"Well, maybe."

I thought for a moment. I needed a way to explain this. "Kelly, today I saw you lick Tonya's pussy."

"Yes."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Sure, it's fun and kind of different. It's a nice change of pace."

"Are you ready to give up men and only have women as sex partners?"

"Of course not. I love cocks, I'd never want to give them up."

"But there are women who decide to do just that."

"And that just doesn't make any sense to me at all. Why would they ever..." Kelly suddenly stopped herself. She thought for a moment and then she sighed. "Okay Timmy, I understand." She laughed. "Or at least I understand that I don't understand and I'll probably never understand."

I smiled. "And there's the rub. I don't believe that you'll ever be able to understand why pain and offense excites me and I doubt that I'll ever be able to understand why it excites you to hurt and humiliate me." I winked at her. "But it certainly is fortunate that we found each other and that's all that really matters."

Kelly giggled. "It's sort of a whatever floats your boat situation."

I laughed. "Yes it is." I leaned over and kissed my wife's cheek. "And if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to floating your boat."

She turned, placed her hand on the back of my head and pulled my face to hers. Our lips met. We kissed. It was a long passionate kiss filled with love and emotion.

When we finally broke apart Kelly stared into my eyes and whispered, "Timothy Jamiemister I love you so much."

"I love you too Kelly Mamister." I smiled at her. "Now about that boat."

"Are you ready to play again?"

"Yes."

"Can I be really mean to you?"

I chuckled. "It's a little scary when you say it like that; but yes, I think I'd like that very much."

"Okay, I have an idea."

"What is it?"

"It's a surprise. Are you ready?"

I was starting to get nervous. Kelly was smiling and there was a malicious glint in her eyes. I very cautiously answered, "Yes."

"All right, uncheck." Suddenly my wife drew her arm back and without any warning slapped me hard across the face. It stung

I rubbed my cheek and looked at my wife. "That hurt!"

Kelly had a savage expression on her face. It was almost like her entire permistera had suddenly changed. She grabbed my shoulders and started pushing me off the bed. "It was supposed to hurt slaveboy and if you don't get off this bed right now I'm going to slap you again."

As I tried to scramble off the bed Kelly lifted her foot and kicked me in the chest. She did it slowly and it was obvious that she was careful to avoid using enough power to actually hurt me, but there wasn't any doubt that it was a kick. It knocked me off balance and I fell to the floor.

When I tried to get up Kelly placed her feet on the back of my head and pinned my face against the carpet. "Stay down there Dicklet. This is where you belong; on the floor, groveling at my feet."

For a moment I lay perfectly still. I needed a chance to catch my breath.

As I lay prostrate on the carpet under my wife's feet I heard her start giggling and then she said, "Oh my that was fun."

Excellent segment, gh! As you can imagine, the foot licking part was my favorite and very well written. i'm looking forward to more of this great story. priss

Welcome back GH, and thank you for this wonderful story.

TrF2

.. And still all he's going to get to poke tonight is the potatoes ..

Kinky yet loving, such a nice read. Ahhh, just great stuff, now I can go to bed happy! I'm about to send you a brief pm first, however.