Is she or not? Help me. Tell me

She is having outside sex but does not want to talk about it.

It has nothing to do with disrespect. She may feel there is a contradiction with having sex with someone else and being with you, so she "compartmentalizes" by keeping her affair separate and not talking to you about it. It helps her deal with this apparent "cognitive dismisterance".

This is a potentially dangerous situation for your marriage, and you should not let it go in this direction-- it could become a wedge. Try to find a time when you are both relaxed and feeling close and remind her that you like the idea of her having outside sex and ask her if she is ready to talk about her outside affairs. Keep it loving and low key. She will open up.