Post your fucked up childhood

I am trying to gain more in site in to why this fetish appeals to me so much. I have a couple of theories most stemming from my younghood.

My man committed suicide when I was 6. My mom who was relatively stable before became really depressed and distraught for many years following his death. She started to really depend on me and basically treated me as a replacement for my dad all throughout my younghood. Examples of how I filled this role would be that she would ask for my council for things like the well being of my younger sister, cry and ask me to console her and constantly seek my validation. I didn't know it at the time but this really fucked me up especially in regards to my relationship with women. I became someone who craved and feared intimacy at the same time. I longed for the feelings of elation and adoration that I got from my lady but also feared being sucked into the void of having to be all things to her and having to hide my own emotions so all my energy could be used to make her feel better about herself. I longed to have boundaries and be able to grieve but couldn't.

As I grew older it took me awhile but I managed to be really good at pleasing the ladies. I became somewhat of a ladies man. I knew what made them tick so to speak probably helped no doubt by the 'close' relationship I had with my mom. I have lots of confidence and charm.

On the down side I have a horrible fear of intimacy and sex is only interesting for me during the courtship phase of the relationship. After that I tend to loose interest quickly. The cuckold fantasy really appeals to me though I have never practiced it in real life.

I believe the reamisters why this fantasy appeals to me is that it allows me to let go of my fear of getting too intimate. It does this because it facilitates the woman to getting her needs met outside of her relationship with me.

What was your younghood like? Do you believe that it contributed in a significant way to the development of this fantasy?

i suspect my upbringing had much to do with who i am and how i think. my Mother was definitely the Dominant power in my younghood, and She took no crap from me, my brothers, or my man, whom She openly cucked. i remember Her reading Mandingo (mid 50's), and being very excited by how excited it made Her. She was a realtor, so it was my job to clean house and cook, as i was the most like my dad...ie accepting of Her Domination. my brothers were both bigger, stronger, and were jocks.

i tried to act manly, but i knew i wasn't, and accepted that i most enjoyed Women who controlled me. my first Wife was married 4 times and was cheating on Her husband openly when i met Her (i hired Her as my secretary).

i allowed Her to use my apartment to meet Her lovers and came to look forward to the wet spots. i would often do Her work so She could take time off. When Her husband found out She was cheating, i let Her move in, and W/we shared my bed. W/we had intercourse a few times, but She was extremely blunt about my inadequacies, but said i was a great oralist. She often had lovers over, i played host, and slept on the couch if they spent the night. If they didn't, i enjoyed relaxing next to Her, often on a cum wet pillow, which was a major thrill for me. W/we were married for 27 years, and things changed into me being Her sissy.

Virtualcuck
Very interesting thread, & one which I'm sure defines whether a hubby becomes a cuck or a stud!
Mine is long & complicated, but will elaborate at a later stage--- remember an Indian cuck almost ALWAYS had a dominating Indian lady, & a quiet husband, obedient & the rest!
Very interesting reading these messages!
Regards, Snogwatcher

A short summation of my younghood, and I am very sure it is the reamister for me being a cuckold.

My lady was an extreme holy wateric and man was either not home or allowed her to be a demanding and emotional abusive takes. Constant lying and going back on her word, constant threat of abandonment, being sent away to aunts, uncles and grand parents when she was in the sanitarium drying out. There was some sort of sexual overtones as far back as I can remember, not direct sexual use but I was aware of sex and sexual type punishment since 4 or 5. i.e. (self CBT)

This coupled with an aunt (whom I was sent to most often) that used to make me up and wished I was a girl, painted toe and finger nails at a very young age. She hated men and never hesitated to voice that feeling all the time. I remember always wanting to paint my ladys toe and finger nails when she was not a raving takes and her saying I was a good little boy.

Add to that the fact that I am very small, 4 to maybe 4 ½ when hard. To compensate for this “short” coming I learned to with hold my orgasm and became very good at eating pussy.

Every girl I ever was with, counting ex and current wife, all eventually admitted that they wished I had more to offer. Every one eventually cheated and had affairs. I just opened the door so I would not be lied to. Better to be honest than unfaithful.

I am sure that my getting into female domination, large dildo play for my woman and then finally cuckolding stems from my life experiences. I have been allowing both my current and my ex wife to have the freedom to play. The ex and I separated for other permisteral reamisters. I have come to embrace my situation and have found peace and contentment with who I am and who my wife is and she has too. It has worked for us.

Good topic this, which doesn’t get aired very often.

I was raised by my mum, who struggled financially. She was very anti men yet always had boyfriends. I used to love watching her get ready to go out and of when she was out used to dress up in her clothes. When I was about 12 I was sexually used by one of her boyfriends who discovered me dressed up. The use lasted for about a year or so. I later realised that her part time evening job was actually prostitution and the boyfriend who used me was her pimp.

I was sent away to school when I was 13 and was constantly teased and bullied there. I fell in love with an older boy who protected me which was great. Late teens were very confused and I had lots of behavioral issues and sought solace in take and haves. I would still dress up and then feel very guilty.

At college I met my wife and when we married I was very happy for a while, although still dressing up in secret. Then my wife had an affair with an older man; my boss. She didn’t know that I knew and still doesn’t to this day. I knew because he told me. He was dominant and explained that I was sissy, why I was a sissy; the use and lack of a male role model etc. He also explained that my wife loved me but that I could never satisfy her and that if I wanted to keep her I should tolerate her affairs. I’m so glad I met him because we have now been married for 17 years she has affairs but it is never acknowledged and I dress up quite regularly and occasionally meet men for sex. We’re are now both happy and sexually satisfied.

I have been thinking about this myself recently. My man traveled a lot for work when i was a young. My lady cheated on him when he was gone and I could hear her with them when i was young, I thought the men were hurting her but would see how happy she was when the men left and thought she liked them hurting her. when i was older the sound of her love making was the first thing I touched my self to. I never had sex with any of my ladys lovers but it was a constant fantasy as a teen. I also acted out sexually at school and ended up pregnant when i was 16 being a single teem lady *******ed my sex life till my family immigrated to the usa.
kimcanttype.tumblr.com/

Raised strictly, but not otherwise wierd in any way. Pretty plain jane for me.

I think I would upset people if I told what I had to endure as a young. But some of the things brought up here are included - such as mom needing me for emotional support. I'm not sure I could change my core beliefs. They came into being when I was 4. I was use pretty bad until I grew big enough to kick both mom and sis off.

Interesting, I have never been abusive myself. But I have wanted to love and serve a partner who would entertain herself with other men. I am getting old, so I don't think I'll ever find my girl. But if anyone can give me any suggestions about where and how to look, I will sure listen.

Thanks
George Dawson

Sorry for the repeated message
George Dawson

Interesting thread.

For the record, I didn't suffer any dramatic use as a young, and came from a pretty normal supportive middle class family.

For me, my cuckoldry stems from...

1) A love of sluts. In college I loved the girls who "put out" because I felt, quite correctly as it turned out, that I could fuck them too. So when I met my wife, a slut, I enjoyed her for what she was. At some point I realised that I wanted her - but didn't want to change her.

2) Explanation (1) doesn't satisfy me. I think I grew up in a conservative world and got frustrated at the great divide between the "real" world, and the conservative, moral world I grew up in. I knew women were (in many cases) sexual naturals, and I was continually fascinated by the difference between how they were portrayed in my family, to how they really were. In another thread on this site I tell a story of a cuckold experience I had at high school. Of course, I wasn't married then, but I had an eye-opening experience with a girl who just couldn't get enough cock - who shocked my socks off.

i have 11 aunties, 4 are close to my age 3 of them i grew up with, one is 1 week older than me and one is a lttle younger.
they were pretty bossy
does not include my ladys close friends ,who also had the 'aunt' tittle
cant say it all affected me thogh?

5 on one side and 6 on the other

Interesting indeed. I'm not sure whether my younghood has anything to do with my cuck feelings.
I have very loving and caring parents. They have been married for over 45 years now, and they still love each other very much and have a lot of fun together (nowadays they do a lot of Petanque, "jeux de boules"). My wife and I see my parents regularly (I'd say about twice a month) and the relationship is still very good.
If anything, my younghood may have been too safe...

ren?.

I might be like you renebe. Can't really fault my parents from the compassion point of view - but my whole family is kind of stuffy and embarrassed by sex, even though my sister was a bit of slut at one time, and my brother is as much a player as I am.

My wife's family are an odd couple - rough 'n' ready dad and a prudish mom. They are the sort of couple that cannot possibly work - except that they have done for 40 years now..

Where DOES it all come from?