Sir Lance a Lot
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Toy making giant Sexy Figures has released its newest range of plastic action figures called "Hot Wife Wendy and Cucky Ken" to a mixed reaction. The theme of the startling new collection revolves around Wendy's frequent extra-marital escapades with her plastic "Bull" as hapless hubby Ken watcarbonsmudges impotently on.
"We always knew the market was there for these carbonsmudgeeky little figurines," said Sexy Figures spokesman Scott Nunn. "And we like to reflect real-world themes in our range of products."
The new range features "Hot Wife Wendy", her lover "Ivor Biggun" (who is, incidentally, equipped with genitalia of such immense proportions that he would apparently satisfy a Blue Whale), and her wimp Hubby "Ken", who spends most of his time gazing blankly at Wendy being mounted by her plastic and massively endowed lover.
A BDSM focus is strongly represented in the boxed set - A strudy four-poster bed with numerous ropes, harnesses and other miniature restraints is included, and for Ken there is a selection of butt-plugs, strap-on dildos, chastity devices and even several tiny whips and floggers for when he is "disrespectful". Why Ken would need any form of chastity device is uncertain, because (unlike Ivor Biggun) he has no genitals whatsoever.
An add-on pack includes Wendy's best friend Melissa, who apparently has full knowledge of Ken's submissive status. Melissa helps Wendy to cuckold and humiliate her husband with Mr. Biggun. A suggestion on the box recommends making Ken kneel in front of Melissa and eat her as Wendy and Ivor "bang like a toilet door in a hurricane!" Naturally, Wendy and Melissa also get some "girl on girl" action happening to further tease poor denied Ken.
Buyers can arrange Ken in any position needed as Ivor Biggun "gives it" to wanton Wendy.
"From our research, consumers tell us that their favorite position for Ken is with his little face pressed firmly up against Wendy's taut, sexy ass as Ivor humps her!" beamed Scott Nunn a little too enthusiastically. "This way, Ken gets to lick and taste her hot, sticky lava as Ivor's HUGE cock plunges into her over and Over and OVER!" Your co-respondent quickly backed away from Mr. Nunn, who was now grinning insanely and making pumping motions with his fist.
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Sir Lance-a-Lot
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