Custom Video Episode0.
As a watcher of voyeur porn, this movie has good qualities from the advantage of observation of the balling of a young miss who is gagging for it.
There are three main points for improvement which I shall come to at the end.
Introduction - Conceptually we have the girl next door type with boyfriend. Next, develops into a menage a trois. The screenplay misses some tricks - perhaps more interesting to see some cut shots to girls rear, view of clothes or dress with zippers, and a hint at coming reveal. We miss something from not hearing much of sound of clothing moving. Props as takes or cigarettes add something here (not to be exponent of smoking) but giving body movement and head into frame position for
close up. Lets not forget, hair, lips, shoulders are all sexy. FaIls to offer this level of exciting detail, but at least sound is decent.
The girl is type we are wish to examine via a spy glass or binoculars. The movie gives us this feeling - its partial strip show. We hope to enjoy more revealing close shots to a well cut bustline, but sadly this is avoided. Bf and girl do much finger touching, but we are missing the real intimacy of bf doing some finger tracing at her shoulders or thighs to signal a hot sexual menu. Consequently there is no delicious withdraw of bf to watcher position. At entry of black guy, bf rapidly withdraws to become cold fish and a passenger. The warmth and appreciation of watching should be a study and this is overlooked.
The reveal-
The single piece yellow frilled edge 'ra-ra' skirt is flirtacious. But gets stripped away far too quickly and easily. The Black guy (bull) scanario and ravaged female is very straight format for husband-cuck-wife fantacists. Hence its here in this market. But I would like a bigger format. The girl does her tricks and performs for
bf (Mr cold fish) but she is doing the stimulus. What we are not getting is the transition from 'girl doing' to new level where girl is ready willing and yielding as a slut whore. We are getting a door open type of sharing but not the I'm here being bad and 'being had'type of offering. So, really it needs to step up a level in intensity.
If the girl was wearing droplet earings we would get a new focus. Take the strip off and where black guy squeezes tits. I would prefer some finger action sliding between her butt cheeks and with low intimate shots of her moist spots. We miss close shots on her face when she is clearly enjoying it. So learn to mix and use close shots.Black guy attemts some tongue and kissing. Again not enough contact and raising of fever.
The sound is there but could play for being far more sticky, salacious and
lingering. Ultimately to play and sell in a big market - language has to be
American/English. Maybe down to decisions and coaching. French "soucette" (suck) and
"Ta femme is busy" (Wife is a goer) mean nothing in this market.
A shaggable slut should be enjoyed -
Oral scenes and sucking scenes are over long, because we do not get feeling she is rolling his balls, and giving sufficient head to milk and dribble his come on her teeth. We have bf at end cleaning her down and lapping the cum. If there were other guys as possibilities (bf mr cold fish) could take a few snowball droplets. He does ascend on the sofa for encouragement. We get to hear her breathing hard and this
improves our radar that shes sensitised and taking a good shag. Skimpy panties should have remained on for longer. Its more interesting and sluttish to see them being pulled aside as when the bull goes down to spread and lick her on sofa.Inevitably the ommission is language. We are waiting to hear the girl utter her readiness ... "go on and dick me, ... make me a fuck bucket - bone it up me. Shag Me hard!!" Its needs hard edge to score big.
Final points: Production value. Power lighting, unless professional creates flare, and distorts colour tone. There was natural lighting here. We get too much silhouette because no operator was using a paddle board to reflect available light upward in face and on torso. Its all backlighting and too much shadow.
Second, wardrobing and a few tasteful adornments to set the mood of a girl dressed to shag would be a bonus.
Third, and final - the production suffers from lack of script. If language was worked on this would go further. "Stupid Man" ejects the bull, but we
do not get sense of bf in any offense or feeding his imagination. Any words to build excitement would be good compensation.. (like) "Im riding your girl good, do you like it?" and bf "Yes its good" would build a loop of communication from watcher to doers.-
New Production ideas.
I agree with others a party scenario is very exciting.I imagine the girl is dressed in red skirt with zip on length of skirt at rear. Wearing also white/cream plunging open blouse top and black stockings which just reveal tops at edge of skirt. Bf takes and mingles, she poses and attracts. She goes walkabout upstairs flirts and meets guys aside of party. Confident one guy rubs skirt and thigh, she responds they
kiss. He pulls her along to corner and then in room, two other guys accompany and its a MMM and F thing happening. Shes made a slut and handled by guys. We see them play with her panties and finger fuck. Som close shots of her face and earrings while shes enjoying. The guys rotate and gang bang. Bf in mid event finds door and peers in- hes cheated but fascinated and only wants to WATCH. Later, at the kitchen he says what he observed and watched play out. Asking 'Did you enjoy it?' 'Was it your first time?' She says "Yes, it was pleasure - lots" and mysteriously "No, not my first time". Finally, They drive away, she acknowledges and gesture to guys at door and foyer of house. it is goodbye - for Now.
I have some ideas to offer script writing/production consideration
[email protected]Njoy361
