Where my kink came from...I think!?

Happy new year to all!

Time to take stock and think where my kink for wanting to see my wife fuck hung black guys came from.

I've looked into this and have seen a lot of stuff saying it's latent homosexuality, that cuckold fantasy is substituting our wives for ourselves...but I've tested myself trying to imagine gay scenarios and can honestly say that I'm not stimulated by the idea of getting off with a guy! It does nothing for me! I'm pretty open minded sexually and would not have a problem with homo/bi sexuality if it floated my boat...but I'm not even curious.

The other explanation I've come across is a sexual inferiority complex, however I can't see how this fits either. I'm a confident decent looking guy
and fucked plenty of girls from whn I was a young age (I started at 13 yrs old with a girl of 16) My Cock is just under 7 inches long and every girl I fucked wanted more and I had to break it off with them...all said i was a good fuck...

So why do i want to see my wife coming on a big black cock?

Well I see it like this! I met my wife when I was pretty young (20 yrs old). I'd always been in control in previous sexual relationships but had never experienced love or commitment. My georgeous new GF (now my wife) however blew me away. Sex was fantastic, she was sexy and everyone kept telling me what a lucky cunt I was to be fucking her. Besides the sex she was intelligent and funny. I fell head over heels...

HOWEVER...she was also a free spirit. She drank a lot at college and got into "situations" and had a bit of a reputation as being a good time girl, fucking most of the high profile "players" in my campus! Even once we'd started dating she would dance dirty at clubs with complete strangers and kiss guys (usually black guys) in front of me. After a heavy night out takeing and taking stuff - dancing the night away- she would sometimes disappear into a car load of young guys for a lift home with her friends leaving me to walk home...

If she came out with me and my friends she would talk like one of the boys. Once when i was takes and trying to embarrass her infront of them by telling them how great her tits were, she simply pushed her chest out and invited my friends to squeeze them! Another time she flashed her tit at me in a bar (she was pretty takes) only for a table full of guys to get an eyeful and cheer loudly.

All this stuff caused huge rows at first but gradually i just got used to her behaviour.

Then the time came that she went to study in the states for 6 months as part of her uk degree, she went with some friends. I missed her really badly and went to visit her. The day after I arrived she took me out for a take and said she wanted to tell me something before her friends mentioned anything and I got the "wrong idea":
She had chosen to study " African American" studies whilst in the US and was the only white permister in the class. One of the guys in class was on the college basketball team and was really into her. He was always asking her out and trying to get her in bed apparently. A couple of nights before I visited he had spent the night in her dorm room - just the 2 of them - and that even her friends thought she had been fucking him and that she had gone too far. However she reassured me that she hadn't cheated and didn't want me to hear anything from anyone else before she had a chance to explain. THEN just after she told me this THE GUY TURNED UP at the bar.

Now I'm no wimp and any other girl who treated me the way she did would be ditched straight away shortly followed by me kicking the cuckolds brownie out of the guy. BUT...I loved this girl and part of me stopped any retaliation or aggresive behaviour because - was I prepared to lose her if she didn't like my behaviour? If I argued with her, tried to domineer her, would I push her away? I didn't want to chance it!

So that was it I put up with her flirting and guys thinking she would fuck them within minutes of meeting her, the constant male attention and close men friends at college then, later, work...

Then one night it came to a head. We finally argued anbout her behaviour to such an extent that we nearly split up. And it scared me. From then on I decided to change the way I felt about it all.

I decided to feel proud that men wanted my woman. Happy that she was a free spirit. I had decided that anything that happened was better than losing her, even telling her that I would always stay with her even if she fucked aroud on me.

However as we both matured and married, she became more prudish. Settling down with me, totally devoted, so just as I had come to terms with her being slutty she started to become the model wife and eventually lady to my youngren.

By now however i had developed my acceptance of her sluttiness to the point where it had become a kink. Now she was a prude and I was a cuckold wannabe.

This is how I believe it develops for those of us that aren't closet gays or inferior -we want to be cucks because deep down we love our women and want to put them first - kinda fucked up way of showing it: but I think what starts a resentment/jealousy of their attractiveness to other guys can easily be turned into a fetish/fantasy because, basically guys are dirty ladyfuckers and can get the horn over most things to do with the opposite sex. Just a shame our openmindedness didn't happen at the same time, who knows what we'd have got up to...!

Over the past year however she showed signs she was loosening up and has allowed photos of her to be posted here. I have confessed my cuck fantasies to her, embellishing some of them for posts here too...

So heres to the new year! As soon as I get my camera fixed I'm gonna sow you lot more of my wife's tits, pussy and ass, hopefully receiveing the coment s that I know turn me on and, deep down, still excite that slut inside my wonderful wife!


I hope this isn't too boring for you all, just wanted to share my opinions - we cuckwannabes can be misunderstood!

Let me know your opinions on the origin of my/your fantasies do you agree or...

...am I full of cuckolds brownie

That's a really interesting story! At least one permister read it all

Great post. I agree - I want women I like to express themselves fully and leave no stone unturned sexually. I want them to live magnificent lives, not ordinary ones. I currently have a Japanese girlfriend who seems very promising. She agrees in principle to fucking other guys, and is enjoying being dressed up like a slut (by me!) when we go out.

Some really good thinking here. I believe you are right, wannasluttywife. It may be a sort of way for us to subconsciously solve our dilemma of having love for a permister who is naturally inclined towards being promicuous. While I have been submissive/masochist all my life, I know that I never really sheltered cuckold feelings until i fell madly in love with someone...... someone gorgeously beautiful, and someone who could have just about anyone she wanted. We would fight at first about her flashing an old male friend of her's, or taking off her bottoms in the pool at nite while 12 friends were around. It was then that I realized beautiful women can attract and have men at their bidding. We cant and such is life. And that element appealed to my submissive nature, sort of like "mental" BDSM. From there on I have been entranced by her cuckolding me. My attraction is not grounded in homosexuality because thats not part of what I desire out of it. The seed, for me, is in my submissive/masochistic nature...... I think. But I can say that another strong element for me is knowing/admitting that I desire to be cuckolded when I know at the same time it is irrational, not sensible, and threatening to the relationship I cherish most! Go figure.

awesome.

my history has similar parts, but I always had a thing about tights / pantyhose.

led to me crossdressing, so think that is where i get some of my 'weirdness' from.

That's a somewhat good explanation to that fetish, but in my specific case it happened differently. My wife comes from a very conservative white family, therefore, any sexual contact with a black permister would be considered by them as unfit, inapropriate and undesirable. My family too, cherished the idea of noninterracial marriages. That increased our curiosity about the other race, as much as the fear that this contact could happen in an unexpected way, in case of any of us deciding to be unfaithful and take a permister of color as a lover.

That's what explains the relief when I decided to induce my young white wife to encourage black men to taking a chance with her, under my close supervision, of course. When this happened, it was simply sparkling! Eve was just ravishing and never acted so sexy and slutty in her life, as she did during foreplay and in bed, with Trevor.

After the first experience, our relationship included this extra excitement, but also the knowledge that we were paving the way to an open marriage and accepted cuckoldry. Now, I guess she loves us both, for different reamisters, however.

To the end of my days I will never understand why anybody would want to leave soemthing as a fantasy. Hell, you only love once. Do it do it do it!!! You have nothing and everything to lose. Just fucking have a shot! Roll the dice. Reality is better than fantasy.

I think that's easy to answer......fantasy allows a permister to be in complete control so, they change anything they want in their fantasies, regardless of whether it's true, realistic, possible, etc. They may decide keep some things fantasy and never attempt to live them out because they've concluded that in reality any negative consequences that may or could happen out weigh the benefits the experience would bring them....so they remain fantasy, where they can eliminate those negative consequences.