Free Cuckold Community at CuckoldPlace.com / Cuckolding Wives / Loosing interest in hubby

<< . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 .

Topic's Quality Rating: 5/5, 21 voting(s).

Author	Message
ValGal Member 101	# Posted: 11 Jul 2009 13:23:08 Reply  It's been a while, so I thought I'd check in. First, thanks to everyone who posted that I haven't answered specifically. I always appreciate input, especially if it seems to be coming from a sincere place. Second, as for our situation, a few things have changed in recent months. For me, the main change is that I broke up with my live-in bf, which was very sad and painful to me. Something I've learned is that maybe he liked being with me, so long as he could see me as "some other guy's wife". When I started acting like *his* wife, with all the usual emotional stuff that brings, he became less interested, and of course that made me feel insecure and it just cycled down till we couldn't be with each other. My only regret is that he sort of just took off, leaving a pretty nasty goodbye note. Would have been nice to talk about it. Funny thing is that I don't think of myself as one of those clingy, needy women. Sure, I like to talk about stuff, but I don't at all consider myself "high maintenance", and I always felt like I was giving a lot more than I was asking for. Oh well - his loss... For now, this leaves me mostly unattached. I see my "ex" (the first guy I cucked hubby with) once in a while, but it's just about the sex with him...he has a girlfriend, and we both know a deeper relationship doesn't work between us. As for hubby, I guess one of the earlier posters was right - he's sort of coming out of the closet as a transgendered person (don't laugh - I guess I was the last to figure it out, even though it was right under my nose). He's pretty much built a female life for himself (herself?), living as a woman 24x7. In the past few months, there's even been a little dating going on and hubby has learned what it's like to have a boyfriend, although I think it's mostly about reaffirming his feminine self, rather than any true connection to a man. But, I guess I could be in some sort of denial. Anyway, it's occurring to me that at some point, hubby is probably going to want to go further - sex-change surgery and all that stuff. Somehow, I guess I'm happy for him as it seems to bring out a calmness he never had as a guy. Seems kind of ironic though how this all is turning out. Hubby wanted me to see other guys, and I thought I could have this polyamorous lifestyle where I was surrounded by guys I was in love with. Instead, it's really quite the opposite, and now I'm turning out to be the one who's emerging alone. How ironic is that?
mred4682 Member 262	# Posted: 11 Jul 2009 17:30:29 Reply  I'm sorry to here things havn't work out the way you wanted, but ValGal I suspect it won't take too long for you to find another bf. Its interesting that your husband made a transition to transgender. I guess that makes sense and explains a lot more of why you were looking for what you were looking for. I guess it goes to show that every relationship is different and some very different. When I made suggestions that kind of upset you over a year ago I was comming from my perspective as a husband instead of his. I hope things turn around soon for you.
asehpe Member 161	# Posted: 11 Jul 2009 23:10:24 Reply  Valgal, I seem to detect more than a little overtone of sadness in your last post; I am really sorry that things seem to be turning out badly. I... I really don't know what to say. To put it better, it's highly unlikely that I could say something you haven't thought of by yourself by now. So I will simply offer you my sincere sympathy. It seems your hubby wasn't a cuck wannabee after all. It seems he really wanted to become a woman. The cuck humiliation subspace was apparently a way of dealing with his (her?) desire to emerge as a woman -- perhaps this was easier to accept at first for him than actually wanting to change his sex. But now this would leave you with a wife, rather than I husband. I can appreciate that this is not the kind of situation you wanted. What an unlucky turn of events. Valgal, I am truly sorry. I don't know what is going on in your hubby's head, and how s/he is reacting to it. You used to say that s/he was a great guy; I hope s/he understands how much suffering this situation will potentially bring to you, and that s/he is doing something about this. You've done a lot to help him/her. It wouldn't be funny at all -- it would be almost perverse -- if it turned out that it's hubby who is losing interest in wifey. I suppose that's what you're afraid of? That s/he'll leave you for a real boyfriend someday? Like everything else in life, if it's what has to happen, then it has to happen. The two of you should probably talk about what s/he wants to do, how s/he sees your future, and how your relationship will evolve. If it all boils down to s/he wanting to be a woman with a boyfriend and all... if the real commitment to a man that you might and might not be in denial about is true, or will be true someday... then you should know about it, and face it. (I'm hoping that s/he is also as great a person as you once described, and that s/he'll give you support. Of course I also understand the whole situation must be complicated and fraught with emotional puzzles also for him/her. You'll really need to be each other's best friends, I guess.) But all in all... Valgal, you always struck me as a very self-reliant person. I have the impression you have something of a rock in yourself, and you'll be able to survive just about anything. And as mred pointed out above, you probably won't find it hard to get another boyfriend. I remember you once said in a post that you probably could get any man you wanted if you set your mind to it. Don't lose your faith in yourself. Remember Nietzsche? Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger? That's about the size of it. I wish you the best of lucks. Sincerely.
Changer12 Member 23	# Posted: 12 Jul 2009 04:48:54 Reply  I too am saddened by the way thing's have turned out for you. However, it does seem that you were never truly for the lifestyle presented(between cuck's and bulls) and really do desire a man whom will want you for you. I sense your deep love for your husband and I also sense that if thing's had turned around, if your husband had suddenly"woken up" that you would have easily dropped these other men for him. Your loss in attraction was more for the fact that you wanted someone to treat you as a woman and give you that submissiveness you yourself crave and that desire is NOT without merit. However, it does sound like your Hubby has used you to some degree and I have seen this happen in marriage's before, a man with latent desires(whether homosexual or not) getting into a "comfort zone" and then using those within it as a means to explore this side before fully exiting it. It is a sad reality but perhaps it IS time for you to move on. I do sense that you really don't care about this issue of "large cock" as much as other's here might like to fantasize and that you would like to be with someone whom will really explore you as you explore them. I realize your feelings are conflicted, you still love your husband and part of you(even if you are trying to run away from it) still wants him to come back and be a man(so to speak) but this won't happen. I wish I'd have come sooner, I've been reading to some degree but haven't followed along as much as I wish I could have... My advice would be to move on. It IS difficult but I still get this overwhelming sense that it's not that you're ACCEPTING these thing's but rather suppressing your feelings as much to the fact that it's bearable but deep down somewhere there is still that feeling as if you are being left behind. I can not imagine how insecure you must feel and for that I am truly sorry, however I can say that you do not DESERVE to be treated in this way, you shouldn't have to be so alone like this and you deserve a guy whom won't use you in this manner. Stop feeling so guilty, your feelings towards these other men are NOTHING to be ashamed of and I sense that even if you won't say it that part of WHY you feel so conflicted is because you DO want to run away with these men but you still love your husband. In many sense's I am a bull, I enjoy that prospect and I understand the sides that cuckolds take but even so I would not push that on someone such as you. To me it sounds as if you he introduced this lifestyle to you and you, in love with him so tried to find some middle ground with him and instead of stopping it and really saying "no" to him you let yourself get too wrapped up and now find yourself in such a difficult predicament. I suggest getting out of the lifestyle for a while. Be with your husband on his journey and leave these other guy's behind for a short while. Really find out if your relationship with him will continue and if he DOES desire other men then help him make that transition so YOU can have a sense of finality in this. It is difficult but time apart from these other men may do you some good. Talk to your husband about your worries and fears and try not to get so wrapped up with another love just yet. I realize this conflicts with a lot of what other's are saying but after what you said in your last hope I just can't help it. This is tearing you up, you want to be loved, to love and to have love and everything seems to be just flushing down the tubes. Take time for yourself girl, your own heart, you deserve it.
ValGal Member 101	# Posted: 12 Jul 2009 13:51:58 Reply  I'm really touched by the warm and sincere posts...thanks mred, asehpe and changer. I do appreciate the kind words and advice. It has been a sad time for me, as I feel like I've been doing a lot of grieving in many directions at once, coupled with a tendency I have to question myself about past sins too much. But, I've spent a few months in this place and I think I'm getting ready to let go of some of it. Apart from anything else, I do believe hubby will be happier with the life he's choosing. I know it kills him to put me through it, and I respect that he wouldn't do that - to himself or to me - if it weren't "life and death" for him. Other than the darkness we share around out marriage, I see the difference in him - he's happy in ways he never was before, and I guess I want that for him. Whether that means we'll continue in some living together situation is unclear to me. He's suggested we could live as sisters, at least until one of us decides to pursue other things. I guess in honesty, this is what we've settled into by default, since neither of us has seriously talked about moving out. As for the other guys, well, I guess I see that I made a lot of compromises in order to have relationships with them. Really, there were just two. #1 was safe...he's like 20 years older than me, had been recently divorced when I met him - just in a different place in life. The sex was amazing (still the best I've ever experienced), but really, there was probably too much baggage - and more importantly, too many reasons we didn't have to sort through it together. We pretty much just used each other, not that there's anything particularly wrong with that given both our needs at the time. As for #2, that was a little different because we ultimately did live together for about six months. He was much more "relationship material", but still, we brought a lot of baggage into it. Still, althought the sex was also very good, for me, it was more about the intimacy, feelings and the chance to have a real emotional bond with someone. Of course, I think the reason he chose someone like me was some sort of deep-seated fear of commitment or intimacy. He could get close, but only to a point, and for someone like me who wants to be completely intertwined with my partner, this would never work. So I get the sense I'm going to be single again, on the prowl for some nice guy who sees me as the great love of his life and wants to settle down and maybe make a few babies with me. I guess that's the last hurdle for me...I never had any trouble meeting guys, I just have to get my head into a place where all this stuff is in my past. And, of course, find someone who listens to my little history and doesn't run full speed in the other direction. Thanks again to everyone in here...not sure I'll have much to say in the future, but I wish all of you the best of luck.
mred4682 Member 262	# Posted: 13 Jul 2009 20:32:11 Reply  Wow.... what an interesting couple years you've had. I can well understand why you may not stick around, lthough I know everyone here hopes you do, but I think circumstances brought you here in the first place and it never really was cuckolding per say. I still feel very sorry for you Val Gal. It sounds like your a very open person, but I would suggest as you go on make one of your criteria for a new guy to be that you can tell him anything, but I would hold off on telling a lot of this until down the road when you decide he is a keeper. Or Don't tell them your "little history" at all. Its ok to be truthfull, but not tell ALL of your past. I really hope you find what your looking for. Good luck to you. Sincerely Ed
asehpe Member 161	# Posted: 14 Jul 2009 04:42:15 Reply  Valgal, thanks for the wishes. I (and I'm sure pretty much everybody else here) also wish you the best of lucks. You give signs of being a strong personality. I'm glad you're not planning to dwell on past sins anymore -- they're mostly imaginary anyway. Things have a way of happening despite us. Call it Tao if you will :-)/ If you feel you don't have much to say, then I'll leave you with my own wishes of good luck. And perhaps one little suggestion. In my own life, I've found out that writing helps me get beyond that 'mental space' of grief and self-questioning -- it gives me some closure. Maybe you'd like to make your experiences into a book? You don't have to publish it; it's just a way to go beyond it, put it all into one 'place' and then leave it there. It works for me, at least. (And, as mred said above, you've certainly had an interesting couple of years.) Good luck again, and I hope you'll find your guy and start your family.
Ladynsniffer Member 13 Pictures: 9	# Posted: 14 Jul 2009 13:29:39 Reply  ValGal, Life is complicated and breaking up with someone you have feelings for can really hurt. Everyone knows this pain and I hope you get through it quickly. My marriage is in a similar place and I try to comfort my wife when she is in between lovers. We have sought a "live-in" lover for her but it just isn't easy. My wife has had a few potential long term lovers but each has his own life away from us so it has ended up just fun sex when they are available. Painful as it may seem, you should look at the good side of it. You were able to have two excellent extra-marital affairs without all the deception. You were able to enjoy rewarding sex. A new lover will surface and I hope you will savor the experience. A "faithful" yet sexually unfulfilled wife would not have this opportunity. At some point you will find that poly relationship. Or, as in my marriage, my wife and I know we always have each other for the "companionship" we crave and she will have her lovers for rewarding sex. We too want a poly relationship, but it is very difficult to find someone who is both willing and can fit in to our lifestyle. Good luck! I truly hope you will continue writing and sharing your story with us. marcus
cuckaliciousr Member 28	# Posted: 14 Oct 2009 21:48:15 Reply  ValGal... thank you for this incredible thread. I obviously came in very late to this thread, but I read it from beginning to end, completely riveted. You are one of the most emotionally intelligent posters I've seen on ANY forum, let alone a forum that can be heavy on the "fluff". I do hope things turn out well for you. You very much deserve to be happy and have really given so much of yourself in a very honest way. I hope we do get updates from you from time to time, but if not... Good luck! asehpe - thank you, too, for your contributions. Incredibly insightful and sensitive. You have both given this community so much. Thanks!
ValGal Member 101	# Posted: 7 Nov 2009 14:31:37 Reply  I haven't posted in a long time, but I thought maybe I'd say thanks one last time and offer a short epitaph for this thread. It's certainly been a roller-coaster ride lately, but I think those days are in the past for me as I get some new perspective on things. As I mentioned severla months ago, I broke up with my last bf and had been going through a pretty lonely time. My hubby was trying to help, but at the same time, he was coming to grips with all his gender issues...somehow this felt like yet another loss in my life. The situation between hubby and I came to a head one Friday...I was away on business, and I came home a bit earlier than expected - to find my hubby kneeling between some guy's legs giving him some oral pleasure. It was an awkward moment and I didn't know what to say, so I tried to just laugh it off, apologizing for interrupting and leaving them alone. Well, much to my surprise, hubby had his bf spend the night, and I could hear those muffled sounds coming from our guest room as they enjoyed each other. Hubby's bf left early in the AM, but I recognized the look on hubby's face...I've known it myself so many times - it's that sense of being fulfilled and satisfied by your man. In that moment, I guess I knew things were over between hubby and I...there was no way I could keep talking myself into believing we were "man and wife" anymore. I also found out hubby had taken his gender issues much further than I'd been aware of. I guess we hadn't seen each other naked in a while, but that day I learned hubby had been taking estrogen for quite some time now, to the extent that he had small but unmistakable boobs. He confessed that he just didn't want to tell me, but apparently he was planning on "going all the way" as soon as he could. Lots of tears later, hubby moved out - and went to live with his bf, which I believe is where he still is. Took a few weeks for this to sink in, but eventually it did and I screwed up the courage to go see an attorney and file for divorce. Hubby says he won't fight it, so it's really just a matter of time as it winds through the courts. Hubby and I haven't really spoken in at least three months now. It's odd that way...we were childhood friends, and I can't tell you how many countless hours we spent talking about everything. Really, a lifetime. But now, it's like we don't have any words for each other any more...it's not anger or anything negative - it's like we just don't know what to say to each other. Thus we end not with a bang, but with a whimper. At the moment, I'm living the single life, probably burying myself in my work more than anything. I'm thinking about moving to another state next year to maybe start over. I have all sorts of offers, but it's going to take me a while before I let another guy get close to me. Maybe someday, but not this week...really, for now, I'm okay just living my life and being alone while some of these events recede into the background. So that puts the story to a close...sorry if it's not what many of you were hoping for. Thanks again to all of you who followed my story all along...with you all the best Val
mred4682 Member 262	# Posted: 8 Nov 2009 08:51:53 Reply  good luck to you in this time of change Val. Here is wishing you all the best!!!!
I_A_S_P Member 92	# Posted: 12 Nov 2009 03:59:43 · Edited by: I_A_S_P Reply  ValGal; The one major lesson I've learned from life is: This is a big, big world and I am a very, very small man. This is NOT the end of the story, but the realization of relationships made when utilizing faulty reasoning. We've found the dynamics of any relations difficult. It's hard enough controlling our own feelings and impossible to control those of others. Now that you have shed a great deal of pressures and have immersed yourself in work, you are free to script your own future! I fully understand extricating yourself from a lifetime's worth of wreckage is very painful. My suggestions are: 1) Cultivate friendships with other ladies. Women need women for advice, friendship, understanding, guidance and infinite other things. Lady friends know you and will introduce you to some man compatible with you. 2) Stay away from men until you and your girlfriends feel you are ready. 3) Please avoid the rebound romance (male OR female). Ease into things slowly. This isn't a scenario where one just snaps her fingers and it disappears. You are an intelligent lady and if you just consider these 3 suggestions, exercise patience and aim yourself in a reasonable direction, I PROMISE that you'll be posting happy instead of sad! My prayers are for you. PS. When I moved to another state to get away from my problems, I found my problems waiting there for me. I quickly learned to clean up my own back yard first! Maybe it is time you stopped running? ..............PSEUDO PERSON
ValGal Member 101	# Posted: 14 Nov 2009 19:56:36 Reply  IASP, thanks for the advice...these are great observations. I suppose you're right - over the past several years, I've pretty much isolated myself from friends and family. I guess I felt that being in a "nonconventional" relationship was something people wouldn't understand, but now that's in the past for me. I have made more of an effort to reconnect with former friends, and I do feel blessed to have a few that have listened to me in a nonjudgemental and supportive way. You're right - that is a big help. One of the other things I've learned is that I'm fine on my own - I don't need to define myself in terms of the guy I'm with. For a long time, I thought it would be hell to come home to an empty place and that I'd die without a little companionship. But I've come to see it as something different, almost a sense of peace. Trust me, last thing I'm likely to do is rush into any sort of relationship any time soon. Anyway, thanks again for the heartfelt words, and I hope things are well in your world. Val
I_A_S_P Member 92	# Posted: 16 Nov 2009 19:10:00 · Edited by: I_A_S_P Reply  ValGal; You were thrust into this situation because of the behaviour of a loved one. Your isolation is your protection from having to explain many things that you don't understand to people who WON'T understand. It's nobody's business but your own. Friends are crucial because they know us. Their negative feedback to some of our ideas can be a positive when (if) we consider their thoughts and viewpoint. Sharing ideas with trusted folk is beneficial. Even if they don't listen, vocalizing thoughts to another forces us to listen to ourselves. I've had countless "good ideas" that sounded great in my head crater after hearing myself utter them to others. Please don't lock yourself out of life by fear of relationships. You are a social person, not a loner. It is not your fault the marriage and relationships did not perform as you had hoped. You were forced to adapt to the vicissitudes of your life - on the fly - and handled things far better than I could have in your shoes. You adjusted as much as is humanly possible to make things work. I am very impressed with your insight, resilience, candor, intelligence, versatility, ability to seek and analyze answers, strength and etc... You are a one man woman. You will win this game. Please get back on the horse asap, in controlled situations, with friends for guidance. Eventually, you will discover the man you seek is not very far away at all... . ..............PSEUDO PERSON
asehpe Member 161	# Posted: 11 Jan 2010 23:46:54 Reply  ValGal, I'll second I_A_S_P's advice. From your post, I see that you are not breaking apart, and that your newfound 'empty home' actually has some blessings in it -- the sense of peace. I'd see it as an opportunity to find more about yourself and what you want. I hope you (and ex-hubby) won't delve into your feelings for each other. I hope you'll also know how to avoid the blaming game (be it yourself, be it ex-hubby). My guess is that both of you suffered with this, and that ex-hubby lied to himself (herself?) and was in some senses as confused by the way things evolved as you yourself. Ex-hubby apparently needs to find his (her?) own path. That will be his/her life adventure, let us wish him the best. You also have to find yours, after whatever period of rest and peace you see as necessary for yourself. A period to reconnect with yourself, as someone who is not defined, not only by being with a man, but by any other people -- parents or relatives. Don't get me wrong -- it's wonderful that you've had some success in reconnecting with old friends and family. But in your life, you are the one person making the decisions. ValGal, I have really come to admire you and your strength. If I had gone through want you went through (or whatever equivalent scenario you'd imagine, since I'm a man), I don't know what I would have done, and how I would have come out at the other end. Certainly not unscathed. Get some rest. Then stand tall, look around, and check the possibilities. Decide what you want to do, where you want to go, and go there. My sincerest best wishes.

<< . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 .

Topic's Quality Rating: 5/5, 21 voting(s).

Your reply

... Disable smilies in post

» Username  » Password  Only registered users can post here. Please enter your login/password details before posting a message, or register here first.

Real Persons Forum Cuckold World Wedding, Brides, Honeymoon Cuckold Stories Post Cuckold and Swingers Personals Basic Cuckold Advanced Cuckold Ultimate Cuckold Cuckolding Wives Interracial Cuckold ASIAN ROSES Bitch Wives Submissive Wives Amateur post Foot Cuckold Hotwives on Dates Slut Wives At Motels Ruined Wives Ruined Husbands Intergenerational Cuckold CleanUP and Creampies Forum Sissy and Chastity Forum Cuckold Cartoon Cuckold Captions Sound of Wifes get Fucked Outdoor Activities Pregnancy Risk. Impregnation Forum XXX Pictures and Video post Dedicato alle coppie italiane Ehenutten und gehoernte Maenner Espace Des Cocus El lugar de los cornudos UK Cuckolds Australian and New Zealand forum Canadian Forum Scandinavian Forum Turkish Cuckold Forum Рогатые мужья и Сексуальные жены CuckoldPlace.com News and Support

Online now: Guests - 158 Members - 109 [ slimboyfat, johninau, Pollo55, saphter, kyt, herfun1, sinel, spicehot, cadcad, Bearly, bobo36us3, juliana75, hhhhhh, aaron smithh, MarriedDomforplay, rich6971, json1827, marie2, ricky_south, stole75, goodtoto, newcorn, hhodaka, indycpl4blk, drbiggs69, congaslave5, jackb0322, FrenchCuck, jamess42, mauler, ohmmmm, pindo, mau91, lsn0, ishaka123, wellhunginnyc, big slick, arnoosh, rick123_77077, lucas23, kalou, StuN, MrX123, flyjm1, jujube, mondmann, panteezpleez, Paul3846, Peter W, patpel, rick21793, unrealsub, rangerick, arron1cart, YouKnowWho, cr3ampi3, robby, nataliesex006, bert278, Jaison24, azorin, Nico69, cuntlick, chastecleaner, Johnlsmith, 13616a, toctoctoc, candymanz, Lisacheatingwife, bambam55, Page666, cuckybobbi, fneqpmnt, jmml5908, curiousg, ehesklave2, wankinghubby, bombero, JHardernX, Libertin 75, haikosm, cplhumilie, dargdynia, Cagey3, SissyJack, WhiteBull4, ekmakalek, girl4yourfun, sissyjulie, slut leanne, sxyhotwfe, spy, sarawill73, pacobianca, rukiddngme, cyrusdurden, bearman, cuckoldbi, illation, cunt_cleaner, nighthawk07, greenkeeper66, patkolmer, wife4blk2, giggo, vegasdj, tadek, Bigwhitestud, psc01 ]

Most users ever online: 515 [4 May 2009 16:30:45] Guests - 333 / Members - 182

Page loading time (secs): 0.150

CUCKOLD     POST YOUR AMATEUR     TOP FREE AMATEUR SITES

       

     

Our friends:  Free Swingers Club Guide || Sexportal || Porn March Cat || All Hot Porn Links || Cuckold Blog || Web Exit || Mike's Free Porn || Real Cuckold Site || Black Rhinos Interracial Club

Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Compliance with 18 U.S.C. § 2257 | Customer Service

$$$ WEBMASTERS $$$