Taking in the emotions day to day

It's all but me being in the bedroom with her and her Bulls presence official, but I'm living out my fantasies, watching my dreams, and often nightmares, take place. My girlfriends pussy is no longer exclusively mine, in fact the last two times she has completely rejected my advances. Two nights ago was one of the most humiliating and degrading in our relationship.
To offer a background. We've been together one year now. She's 22 and I'm approaching mid 30s. It was both love and lust at both site. This woman would be with me daily and really showed me that young love. Her pussy always available and out sex life was solid. I have access to cialis so it helps me out and I am able to give her as much as I'm capable. Thankfully she is very petite and I'm able to get her off. However, like many we have bickered, argued and fought to the point of break up.
So during these last few months, while she still cares for me and we come back to one another. She has finally admitted to fucking someone. It's no longer just the dirty talk she seemed to enjoy.
She is out getting her pussy sucked and fucked. And although she will crawl into my arms, she is not lusting like she once was.
This has put me in a very emotionally desperate state which has gotten very difficult to deal with...
While at the same time the most exciting in regards to what I've I've fantasized about for many years.
Ronald Curry

RC - the thing you're describing is cuckold angst, very typical for a cuck to get it and to feel disturbed by it.
You have to decide if you're able to hold everything together as she's enjoying being fucked by an unknown stud. It's only sex, it's for recreational purpose only, they're not bonding for life! Now's the time to immerse yourself in the lifestyle, get the maximum enjoyment out of becoming a cuckold.

Thank you. The last time I was afforded an opportunity, it was too late and my emotional connection to that woman was dead. Niether of us wanted to be around the other.
This time, I want to be sure I hold onto this and cherish every moment. She is a very sexy woman and loves me. Right now I'm not really allowed into her exploits but she is starting to open up. I just got a sexy picture of her in a hotel room. She went out of town up with her very very slutty girlfriend. She'll also be visiting some friends up there and one who is some social media internet star who throws sex themed parties. The guy is so gross I doubt she's fucking him but who will she hook up with is a mystery. That part of this journey she won't reveal. I know through a slip up on her FB page of the guy who is regularly getting his dick serviced by her, but she refuses to share identity of anyone who has access to her pussy. This will soon change, but in the meantime every single little thing is so exciting.
I'll use this to chronicle and diary events.
Ronald Curry

I have a feeling, that this thread is becoming soon interesting.

Share her picture with us, that we get an impression of what you write about.
it might be painful

I guess that age is more than a number for some people. Go figure!

She is 22. You are not. Fighting will increase, not for any fault or shortcoming of yours. There is nothing that you can do. Ladies sometimes behave like that when she just doesn't want to hear it. She will not respond to any logic or reasoning, so don't waste your time. You have three clear choices. 1) Do nothing. She is leaving anyway! 2) Throw her out. Take a stand for yourself and feel good! 3) Cave and plead with her to stay. You can expect about as much from her as a parent with 22 year old live at home d@ughter gets. She might be convinced to hang around and sh1t all over you for a little while longer, but she is young and even that is a long shot. This scenario happens to many guys. All men are malleable to the right woman. Sadly, most of us learn such a hard lesson the exact same way you are learning it.

Wish I had better for you. This is what is known as a non sequitur.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

I'll share this picture she sent me
This was pretty much the last thing she sent. I wrote her a message that she didn't respond to. I heard nothing from her that night. The next day I simply wrote that I miss her and she replied with I miss you too.
While she sent me this and another similar photo I asked if she would tell me when she was being naughty. She just replied naughty?
In that moment I was enjoying the pics so I didn't press on it any further. Didn't want to scare her and really just take what I can get.
The last two times we were together she denied me her pussy. Making up excuses. Although there was. A moment she stopped by and was horny and in a kissing mood. It was at a time we were still kind of fighting and although I picked her up and gave what she wanted, that time I resisted the urge to try and fuck her.
I drive by her work today on my way home and saw her car there, she hasn't said anything to me today and I'm just playing it cool. I kind of have something brewing with another woman, but my mind is racing with all kinds of emotions.
In one moment I want to stand up for myself and just be done with it and not let her get to me, but at the same time I did enjoy living my fantasy. The other night while she denied me her pussy, and she was playing with my cock when I took it out. Her mouth was inches from my hard cock, yet she wouldn't kiss lick or suck it. It was her who suggested "you can play with my feet."
Again she made an excuse to not want to fuck. So there I was kissing her feet while she began playing with her self. I pleaded to her "can we fuck" to which she said No. I actually didn't finish that night and after worshipping her for a good 20 minutes I gave up. Tried pleading again and she denied and this time said she had to go. That was my last physical interaction with her, and the photo was sent a day later. What do you think.
Is it a selfie because part of her hand seems cut off or 100% did someone take this? And who?
Ronald Curry

The angle of the camera/phone is completely wrong for it to be a selfie, someone else took the photo. I just get the impression she's leading you on. Maybe the smart thing to do would be to chase up this other girl.

I understand your thoughts and feelings 100%. Variations on this theme have happened to myself and countless other men. I suggest that you cultivate the brewing you have with the other woman.

This chick is super hot! She is guaranteed to boil your cuckold angst as she continually returns to her contemporaries. It hurts like a real bastard! Think of the arousing joys of cuckold masochism you could suffer as you impotently watch her happily replace you with young, virile guys. Kids with stamina that are capable of keeping a sexy woman. It is irritatingly exciting, addicting, and arousing; yet it inspires incredible emotional pain when a sexy girl facetiously stomps your manhood with zero compunction.

She will sing as she rips you a new one while slipping through your hands into a better man's bed! That's OK! Ride the "Cuckold Rollercoaster"! A few exciting plummets from incredible heights tempered by many depressions and low spots! Lots of cuckolds easily soothe that pain by applying frequent doses of good, self administered, vibrating dildo play to his own ass.

Now that I have described events as they are likely to happen: Go for it! This is an ideal cuckold scenario! Opportunities like this don't grow on trees! Sure, it is an unneeded extra hassle in life, why do it? So are butt plugs, chastity devices, PA's, penis sounds, tongue piercings, caning, scrotal suspension................
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Thanks for any feedback and I really welcome discussion because there isn't anyone I could really talk to about this.
Today's emotions were rather mixed as I had work and family obligations with the kids. And although I passed by her work and she's there, she should have been finished by now. Absolutely no communication today or a reach out from her. I played along and try to be cool and didn't want to send her anything either.
It's almost 2am and if indeed she stayed late and worked. She should be calling shortly which she usually does on her way home, in the past this was a time she would come by, slightly tipsy and ready for action.
Several times the man in me says fuck that slut, I don't need her. It was me that has ended this relationship. She felt really betrayed whenever I would drop her. Personally, this relationship was really doomed from the start. I often try and pinpoint times she must have cheated on me. There were plenty of unaccounted nights. The girl loved to go dancing. She'd often be late night dining at a strip club. And really seemed to have some guy friends that would text her. On social media she is a complete addict. So for me, a 21 year old is really only good for one thing. Intellectually, I probably lost a few brain cells over the last year. However my sex life, satisfaction and frequency we're great. Do I regret pushing this woman away?
Hell fuck no. She's a *****. As a person she is going to change multiple times over the next decade, were not compatable and in 10 years, my ability to get any kind of decent woman is very slim. Her prospects in life don't appear toI great, no college and no real skills. She's just partying it up and has a small dog for emotional support. I do love her as a person and enjoyed the time, but I'd much rather pursue other interests than a continued relationship.

....with that said, you can see that does want to have some revenge and hurt me in some way. Right now she knows and feels like I'm in a weak state and being she's a woman and naturally manipulative and controlling, she's seeing how far she can push my buttons. I might just not talk to her and avoid her calls, then again I might just give her what she wants. All depends on my mood.

That's what makes this so fucked up. On one side you want your dignity and on the other you want to live out the fantasy of being a cuckold. She's denied me entry into something that was once mine and I could just roll over in bed and just take. When I really begged for sex and she offers me her feet. That was to me like a dream come true. I was sooooo horny. This is the **** I've looked at as my porn and self
Indulgence for so many years. And here is a hot 21 year old telling me to kiss her feet, no licking allowed. Then during she says "you get 5 seconds of licking" that was so hot. And for her to have made comments about her feet slapping me in the face as they move to the thrusts of her being fucked by another guy as I worship her, tells me she has quite the imagination.
So that's where I am. In the next hour we'll either get a call or I won't hear from her. Either way, this is my ride. This is all 100% true and real. As someone above commented, this is not something that just grows on trees. Only a very select few go thru this
I would love to hear in detail your thoughts during your own encounters. I don't want to fuck this up. I have a short fuse sometimes and pushing her away and telling her to fuck off ia on my mind. Maybe even in a twisted way I wanna fuck with her some more.
I Fantasize about fucking my new GF in front of her. But that's for another day.
Any feedback is welcome
Ronald Curry

RC, as perverse as it sounds, I'm quite enjoying your outpouring of typical cuckold angst. You're typical of the genre, twisted with disappointment, rage, hurt, jealousy, and above all, you're as horny for her as is possible. You aren't the first man to be in that position and won't be the last. To a Bull such as myself, we enjoy the emotional turmoil you're going through, it tells us we're doing our job correctly. It's a bonus on top of fucking the wife/girlfriend etc of the other man.
At some point you're going to have to make that fateful decision and either go with the flow, or cut loose and part. You already know and accept that while you're doing the 'normal' household chores, looking after the kids and so on, she's out there, legs spread wide open, being hard fucked, and she's loving it, doesn't give a flying fuck who gets trampled on in the process.
The choice is yours buddy, but be aware if you split permanently there's no guarantee you'll get another Hot girl like her, you might be condemned to a vanilla existence.