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James1978
Member
3
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# Posted: 27 Sep 2007 12:27:16
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hey, im james, im 29 and my wife is 30. we started dating when we were both 20, and got married after three years. we are both pretty open minded about sex, so we tried lots of things and got into cuckolding after just two years of dating, so ive been a cuck my entire marriage. I do satisfy her shes assured me, it wasn't supposed to be a long term thing, but its become somewhat of a lifestyle, plus i have a busy job, so i have sex with her once, maybe twice a week, but am assured shes having a good time when im not there. this is of course just backstory and i'll get to the point. my wife and i have been serious for about a decade now, and naturally, we're thinking about a family. this is issue one, because im not sure if this is the best environment for us to raise a child, but i am open to stories if there are people have been in cuckold relationships but sucessfully raised kids. issue two is a little bit more complex and is worrying me more. My wife a few times a week (she has a part time job) meet guys for flings and whatever, but mainly she sees her two boyfriends whenever she can. one of them is more of a "fuck buddy" and she just sees him now and again, but the other boyfriend, shes been dating for nearly six years now. i have never felt threatened by this before, me and him have a good friendship, it is awkward at times, but he's a really decent guy. What's worrying me all of a sudden is that wife has been talking to him about starting a family too. I'm not sure what this means, I have got some pretty strong hints that perhaps she wants him to father the child. they've even picked out baby names and other such parenting events. The two have always been close, but with such a long standing sexual relationship I saw nothing wrong with this, and just accepted that they were good friends, but now I'm starting to wonder if she's taken him as a second husband, or even worse, though she's wearing my ring, am I the second husband. I always thought it was just for sexual play that she would be with him, but raising a family such that my child isnt even my biological offspring, and a product of this play, I dont know if i can handle that. I walked into the kitchen the other day and i'm pretty sure i heard my wife say to her boyfriend "i'll love your button nose, you have good genes" or something like that, i could be wrong, but she said it quite clearly. since then i've been a little distant to them, and it seems to be pushing them closer together, theyve started doing more normal coupley things, like shes started going with him to shop for groceries. I confronted her about this, and she did say it's becuase ive been working more, which is true. I just thought when this thing started, it would just be a boost for her sexuality, I didnt know she was unofficially marrying someone. I don't have any issues if they want to date until the sun explodes, but i just want to be her only husband. any help guys? thanks.
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SuperQ
Member
27
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# Posted: 29 Sep 2007 07:17:13
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If you can't handle it, it's not worth it. Not for you, your wife or the child. Lay down the law. You are talking about another human life here - the life of a child.
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nobigthing
Member
51
Pictures: 5
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# Posted: 29 Sep 2007 07:41:03
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I agree with SuperQ
If I was in your situation I would be VERY pissed off and I wouldf let her know
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James1978
Member
3
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# Posted: 30 Sep 2007 01:50:29
Reply
thanks for the advice, ive been thinking about it, but not sure what to say to them. i dont know if id mind my child not being biologically mine, i think id be able to get over it, but i dont k now if thats morally wrong. especially because id be lying to them their entire life...
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Dierwolf
Member
23
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# Posted: 2 Oct 2007 14:34:52
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my two cents? this has gone way beyond playing and into abuse. Get angry and stay angry like SuperQ said. I grew up in a single parent home with a really dysfunctional mother. Its not pretty, and you don't want any part of it. she wants him, cool but man, trust me, it won't end well if you don't tell HER this and not us.
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drfarmer
Member
94
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# Posted: 8 Oct 2007 20:20:34
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James:
It may not matter anymore that you can't handle the the possibility of your wife having another man's baby. She may have already made up her mind. Such a baby would be yours legally anyway, and if you accept the baby and raise it, it will be yours emotionally and socially, an unofficial adopted child. Raising another's child is part of the risk and/or allure of being a cuckold, comes with the territory. My wife cucked me 25 years ago (she didn't tell me until recently), while we were trying for child #2, barebacked him for a couple of years. Don't really know if the daughter is mine (I think so), but emotionally, she is definitely mine.
Regardless, you and your wife should have a heart to heart talk about it, clear the air.
You should know that a recent Canadian/US research project reported and confirmed that about 10% of all children in North America are not sired by their purported fathers (We're not talking about adoption or artificial insemination, but we are talking about a surprised cuckold.). Presuming that most cuckoldresses do not get pregnant by their bulls, that is indirect confirmation that there is a lot of extamarital fucking going on. (The latest findings say 60% of all husbands cheat on their wives and 60% to 80% of all wives cheat on their husbands, a worldwide, cross-cultural, cross-generational phenomenon. Even the most staid conservative head-in-the-sand findings say 20% to 30% are cheating husbands and wives.)
You are not alone, but in the mainstream. It is the norm, if not publicly acknowledged. Keep making love to her sans birth control. When she's pregnant, there'll be a good chance the child will be yours genetically, but if not, it'll still be yours.
By the way, the wife and I have reconciled this by swinging and swapping now. The marriage is very much stronger as a result, an observation made by the wife, not me. She insists the daughter is, in fact, mine, and has said the best sex she ever had was with her barebacking bull at the time, knowing she was pregnant by me.
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sfnaughtyboy
Member
7
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# Posted: 12 Oct 2007 18:33:39
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well i dont think its his place to lay down the law. If that is what she wants tehn he has to deal with it and obey them both.
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sfnaughtyboy
Member
7
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# Posted: 12 Oct 2007 18:35:46
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Quoting: nobigthing # Posted: 29 Sep 2007 07:41:03 Reply Quote I agree with SuperQ If I was in your situation I would be VERY pissed off and I wouldf let her know
how and why should he be pissed off. If that is what she wants then by all means he should go along with it. its his place too
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sfnaughtyboy
Member
7
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# Posted: 12 Oct 2007 18:38:29
Reply
Quoting: James1978 # Posted: 30 Sep 2007 01:50:29 Reply Quote thanks for the advice, ive been thinking about it, but not sure what to say to them. i dont know if id mind my child not being biologically mine, i think id be able to get over it, but i dont k now if thats morally wrong. especially because id be lying to them their entire life...
No its not wrong at all. Get over it and do what she says
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Amazonking
Member
143
Pictures: 21
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# Posted: 12 Oct 2007 23:52:06
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I have responded to similar inquiries on this site in the past. And I believe that I have the experience and maturity to discuss this topic in this forum because in 35 years of marriage (first and only one for both of us) my wife has birthed 7 children, three by me, four by other men. We are both white; the other men who have seeded my wife were white, black, American Indian and Latino (Gutemala). My wife and I have always been happy together as husband and wife and intend to fulfill the "until death do you part" segment of our wedding vows.
As part of the marriage covenant, sexually speaking, a married couple can do anything they want, including the situation wherein either or both spouses have sexual relations with other persons. The key to this is that both husband and wife must fully consent to the sexual activity and that consent must be of their own free wills. In other words, activities such as having your wife root with other men are perfectly legal and moral so long as both of you come to a full and mutual agreement as to what the "rules" are and both agree to be "faithful" to those "rules."
What "polite society" says about the sexual lifestyle of any particular married couple is totally immaterial as the couple takes vows to be faithful to each other, not to be faithful to the whims of "polite society"; which change from society to society anyway. For example, an Eskimo husband is EXPECTED to offer his wife's sexual favors to any and all male visitors to his home. Not to do so invites banishment from the clan and/or village for the husband. The famous Arctic explorer Admiral Byrd (as well as other members of his exploration team) fucked with and fathered many children among the Eskimo wives that they shared living quarters with. A final word on the legality of sharing your wife with other men, a lawyer friend of mine (whose specialty is family law) once said this to me: "Every adulteress has a cuckold for a husband, but not every cuckold has an adulteress for a wife."
Whether or not your wife is impregnated by another man is again a decision that must be reached freely and mutually by both of you. My wife and I always planned to have a large family. Whether I was the biological father was deemed to be unimportant. What is important is that my name appears on each and every birth certificate as their father. They all call me Dad or Daddy and I call each one either daughter or son. As their Dad, I would not hesitate to give up my own life to save any of their lives as well as the life of their mother.
It is obvious to anyone but a blind person that I am not the biological father of the girl who was fucked into my wife's belly by her black bull or the boy who was fucked into my wife's belly by her Latino bull. However, my wife and I are totally unmindful of any and all comments leveled at us again by members of "polite society." When people ask the black girl or Latino boy where their mother is, they point to my wife. When they are asked where their father is, they point to me. Three of the "not of my seed" children, including the black girl, are old enough and knowledgeable enough to question their respective maternity and/or paternity. They have been told the truth. Neither my wife nor I are ashamed of the circumstances surrounding their births, and we tell them that they should also not be ashamed. We do tell them that our choice of lifestyle is not for everyone; and that they each have the God given right to lead their own lives as they see fit. We also teach them that "discretion is the better part of valor" and that any form of sexual activity is strictly a private affair between the persons engaging in such activities. None of our children have ever seen us engaging in the cuckold/hot wife lifestyle and they have no idea which of our mutual male friends that we openly socialize with may also be privately screwing their mother.
A word of caution about the "parental rights" of the bull who puts your wife in the "family way." For centuries, men who fucked the wives of other men were only interested in one thing: their own sexual pleasure and satisfaction. If they left a "present" in the wife's mommy chamber, well, that was hubby's problem to deal with. Recently, in the U.S. and some other Western countries, bulls have demanded that their paternity be formally recognized and that they "share" in their bastard's life. However, I find it interesting that almost all of these doting "fathers" refuse to supply any financial support for the "fruit of their loins." My lawyer friend tells me that new case law is constantly being created in this regard. Where this all ends up should prove to be most interesting. In my own opinion, these bulls may find out that they have killed the goose that lays the golden eggs in that future husbands will no longer be so agreeable to allow their wives to freely engage in sex with other men.
You and your wife must come to your own ends with respect to the issues now before the two of you. However, you should treat each other with respect, you should be open, honest and frank in your discussions and both of you must be aware of the consequences, both good and bad, of what you finally agree to.
I wish you and your wife all the best.
A man has not lived until he watches another man fuck his wife!
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redhead44d
Member
30
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# Posted: 13 Oct 2007 00:16:31
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I couldnt agree more with amazonking, my husband and i have been cuckolding for thirty years, we had two children by other fathers, *** logically they are not his, emotionally their is no doubt, we never lied to them, when the time came for the questions we were open and honest, they are both raised and have families of their own now, and we are no different than anyother family towards each other, love, and honesty is the key. Jan drfarmer: I would be interested as to where you got those statistics?
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tiny tom
Member
124
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# Posted: 13 Oct 2007 11:15:31
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When a man agrees to being cuckolded it's like rolling a little snowball down hill. It just gets bigger & bigger and goes faster & faster. And very quickly you can't possibly stop it or call it back. A potential cuck should think about this before starting down that road. But once you start - just learn to deal with it.
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James1978
Member
3
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# Posted: 13 Oct 2007 13:57:58
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well, thanks for all this advice. I have to admit some of it seemed a little extreme, some of you were implying my wife owns me... which is not how our marriage works. however there were others of you who spoke on more levelheaded terms, but thanks to all.
However, it has all become academic. in preparation to get pregnant she stopped taking the pill, and we were using a condom for the past two months (until we were sure we wanted a baby) and in that time it seems shes become pregnant, for three weeks now theres a much higher chance its his baby and not mine, but i found out two days ago. I've not talked to either of them since, but not in anger, more out of not knowing what to say. she said it was an accident, i suppose i do believe her. last night she stayed the night with him, to give me some space.
im not sure about the ethical ramifications of this, becuase if i get a paternity test, which is, in my opinion, about 80% likely to say its his child, i will have to lie to my child for his or her entire life. also the legal ramifications, i dont know what this means. I dont want to have cared for this child for 5 years or something, just to have her boyfriend knock on the door and say, i want my kid and then take them away. but then again, they will be his child, perhaps more so than mine.
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