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Advice for Hubby when it happens first time?

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JimmyK

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Posts: 65
#1
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Seeing my wife with another man has been my fantasy for decades. My wife has warmed up to it as a fantasy,but not a reality over the years. Recently she has gotten in the most amazing shape she has been in for years and looks great. She finally told me she will seriously consider it during our upcoming vacation, but no promises. She has long agreed that she might consider going through with it if it were the "Right time, right place, and right guy". Well next week seems like it might be finally what she might consider the right time and right place... so it might only hinge on finding a the right guy (one she is attracted to). Having even two of the three criteria in place has made me excited, but nervous as to how I will handle it if it happens. We have agreed I will be present and condoms will be used if it happens. I'm not here to judge anyone else's fantasy or preference, but I have zero interest in any physical contact with another guy in any way, no interest in the *********** component that some seem to like. I mainly want to see someone pleasure my wife differently or even better than I can. What tips, reminders, or experience can anyone share that might help me deal with this if it happens? What do I need to remember, be ready for, etc.... It's such a mix of excitement and nerves!
Thanks
kennyboy82

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Posts: 6956
#2
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Relax, don't push her too much, remember it's her decision at the end of the day, she has to feel attraction etc towards the potential Bull. You'll feel the most extraordinary mixture of lust and jealousy, all mixed up together at first, that's cuckold angst, but above all, you'll be so hard it will be painful - that's normal! Enjoy it, it's a life changing moment.
popeye1

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Posts: 1755
#3
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Finding the right guy may be more difficult than you think, especially if you want/have to be there the first time he is.

It is one thing finding someone to fuck your wife (much easier) its another to find someone to fuck her who is immediately cool with her hubby in the room handing out condoms and watching (much harder). You'd be amazed at how many men will run a mile when they hear that hubby will be present.

It may be better for her to meet him alone, with you close by at first until she can gently introduce the idea of you watching. Also enjoy the run up, getting her shaved, dressing her in new slutty lingerie/dresses, perfume and jewelry is all part of the process/scene for me.

Good luck JimmyK

pops
FantMstr

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Posts: 430 Pictures: 11 
#4
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Lots of advice for you from so many people.

Good luck to you both.

Now some more advice. Don't actively look. Put yourself in a place guys are looking and just let it happen. I have seen many divorced or widowed women who have actively looked and did not find. Then they stopped looking and just had fun with people doing things they enjoyed. Doing that many soon found friends who developed into mates. I swear that people actively looking exude some sort of repellent energy.

Again, however you do it, good luck.
afwmisom

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Posts: 526
#5
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I agree with FantMstr. My wife would not respond well to an elaborate process. However, if we are on vacation and a guys seems interested she lets nature take its course.
JimmyK

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Posts: 65
#6
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Thank you folks! We will be at two different resorts in Jamaica (she is not looking necessarily for a Jamaican man, nor even a black man in particular ... at least that is what she says now so I think another guest or a more mature college guy on Spring Break might at as good a chance as a local, maybe better ). I plan for her to have ample time alone at the pool in afternoon and at the bar in the evening. I fully understand that the right guy might be a 'needle in a haystack' or just not to be found on this trip... that will have to be her decision... but I am excited at the prospect that she will be looking and receptive to the possibility for the first time.

My biggest concern is .... what do I need to expect if it DOES happen? My excitement battles with my nervousness every time I think about it. If the right guy does end up in our room (or somewhere else) with my wife and I AM there ... what do I need to know that a newb like me might not be ready for? The fantasy is more than clear in my mind, but what do I need to know about the reality if it happens?
Any advice appreciated! We leave one week from today.
Thanks so much!
kennyboy82

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Posts: 6956
#7
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Relax Jimmy, let things flow and go with it. It's normal to be worried/concerned the first time. Afterwards you'll wonder why you were so nervous, the rush you'll get is like no other you've experienced. Don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen though, it's her decision after all, you're the observer, that's all.
popeye1

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Posts: 1755
#8
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Its hard to say for sure, it all depends on what kind of guy you are.

Some may expect a huge amount of angst, maybe even wonder if they are doing the right thing? or have second doubts as the moment approaches?

Then there may be guilt at letting it happen for real or from feeling so useless at fulfilling your sex role, but equally so there will be the tremendous rush from seeing her get fucked and hopefully seeing the ensuing cream pie and her passion and orgasms.

You may even get the full gamut of all these feelings and reactions. As I say, it all depends on what kind of guy you are?

You should also be prepared to learn and realize that you are no longer the lead or alpha male in the room. You may be told to do things that you had not foreseen or that any reasonable bull may expect a sub hubby to do, so be prepared to have your limits stretched. That is what I like to do to any sub hubs that find themselves watching me in their bedroom filling their wives with my cock and cum - stretch their limits to the full.

To be a cuckold means to have lost command over the wife, bedroom and sex. But also many men dream of being in that precise situation, but very few ever get to live it....enjoy the whole thing, and take some pics for us to see.

just my two cents.

pops
peter50

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Posts: 61
#9
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I agree with what a couple of others have said: Do not necessarily insist on being present the first time(s). Your wife needs to feel comfortable with the new situation and it may be easier to get her into it if you don't orchestrate everything for her and are not present in the beginning. With her consent, you could place a voice recorder (smartphone) in the room, so you get some cuckold fuel to take back too.
kennyboy82

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Posts: 6956
#10
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All good advice, you'd do well to heed it. Do let us all know how you get on.
FantMstr

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Posts: 430 Pictures: 11 
#11
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All good advice above so I will be brief.

Do not expect reality to be anything like your fantasy.

Emotions, like jealousy, just are. You can't will them away so accept them. What you do is more important than what you feel.

Advice above has been you centered. Please remember that your wife will dealing with her own questions and emotions. Whatever happens remain supportive and yes assure her you love her.

Good luck.
SheDatesHeWaits

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Posts: 1352
#12 · Edited by: SheDatesHeWaits
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JimmyK:
My biggest concern is .... what do I need to expect if it DOES happen?

If it happens it will feel surreal. The first time is very important. If it goes poorly it will probably not happen again. So job #1 for you is to be supporting cast to make sure SHE has a great time!

First and foremost, resist the urge to play "director". Many guys make that mistake. After years of fantasizing there will be a hundred different things you want to see. But nothing ruins the mood more than an over-eager hubby telling them "do this... do that".

Just sit back and let things unfold between them, at their pace. Be quiet, not a distraction, but always be ready to take your wife's hand if she reaches for you. Wives sometimes need reassurance that you're okay too. So act like you're loving every minute, even if you're feeling a bit uncomfortable. If she senses any uneasiness from you it will dampen her enthusiasm. Enjoy the experience yourself. Try to memorize every detail like a mental video recorder, because you'll be reliving every second for months afterward. Good luck!
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker
yankee

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Posts: 60
#13
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The first time for me was surreal. After he came into our house, my wife was upstairs still getting ready and I realized I was chatting with a man who was about to fuck my beautiful wife. I just let it happen. She said she was ready and I let him walk right upstairs into the bedroom. I let them get acquainted while I listened from another room. Very shortly after I heard the sound of them kissing. I had perfect timing, because when I walked into the room my wife had pulled his pants down to his ankles and she was dropping to her knees to suck his dick. I sat in a chair and watched as the woman I loved gave this guy head. She was looking in my eyes as she sucked his dick and I could tell he loved having his dick deep throated by my wife....an amazing experience.
kennyboy82

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Posts: 6956
#14
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yankee:
She was looking in my eyes as she sucked his dick

Now THAT'S perfect and exactly what's needed in these situations. Eye contact when sucking cock is paramount, she's a quick learner!
yankee

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Posts: 60
#15
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kennyboy82
Yesssss!!! She asked me to make out with her while he was pounding her doggie style!
kennyboy82

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Posts: 6956
#16
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She's a quick learner and wants to please, both you and her stud. She'll make you a perfect slutwife. Now you need to learn to enjoy your cuckold duties of cleaning up after she's been fucked.
yankee

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Posts: 60
#17
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kennyboy82
It looked like she kept taking him to the edge and I thought she was just going to suck on him until he shot his cum into her mouth. She was grabbing his ass and pulling his dick deeper into her throat. I should have known better, though, because she wanted to get fucked badly that evening.

So they got into bed and I was sitting in a chair so I could see as she spread her sexy legs for him to enter her. She just moaned as he started working my wife's pussy with his long dick. She told me later she really loved his dick because it was tapping her g-spot.
mmmike_us

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Posts: 124 Pictures: 1 
#18
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My advice is to relax, do not make elaborate plans, try not to be to involved and pay attention! Each moment has merits and is part of the whole experience, what might seem to be a deviation from your desires can still take you to a place that is cool. I think that I found that with each experience that allowing the two lovers the ability to be dynamic created something awesome. at times it will be gut wrenching, remove yourself from the process and by all means reserve any and all comments and thoughts until you have had time to allow a cooling down of emotions.

Since we are pretty much through a 14 year journey ~ Just savor the moment, it will last you a lifetime!
Mike
kennyboy82

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Posts: 6956
#19 
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yankee:
she wanted to get fucked badly that evening.

I suspect what you mean is she wanted to get fucked really well! Tongue in cheek remark on my behalf!
You're doing well, don't push her too hard, and accept the situation when things you didn't envisage happen, it's all good, it's all relevant experience, especially for a 'new born' cuck.
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Advice for Hubby when it happens first time?
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