Cuckold Sexual pleasure VS Emotional pain (Please help)

Well, I will try to brief as much as I can:

I Guess I was born with (sadomasochism), never thought to be a cuckold until last year when my ex wife confessed that she cheated on me. it turned on big time! and I knew that I am a cuckold.

We got divorced 2 months ago and she got a boy friend who live away from our place right after that!! such a tall muscly guy! I saw his picture with her! I went into depression and had to go to the crises center twice! same happened when she confessed the first time.

2 days a go she came home and took all her sexy clothes, I asked her why? she said Oh just wanna wear them at home. anyway today I knew that she left to another state closed by, supposedly for a conference! Oh yeh with sexy bedroom clothes! that turned me on at the beginning and it feels so sexy to know that she gonna spend couple of night with someone else. but in the same time, it's the emotional pain guys! we are human at the end!

How could we seperate the sexual pleasuree than the emotional pain?!! Please help.

No one can help?!!

I think that the kind of Fetish Cuckolding you rad about on this site can help. It is the emotional pain that triggers the sexual excitement in you, so what you need to do is to dull it to the point where you can enjoy the thrill without being overwhelmed.

What you want, therefore, is a relationship with a women in which she isn't actually cheating, but engaging in consensual cuckolding in part to please you. I am not clear from your post if you are seeking this with your ex or with a whole new woman. In either case, it will require upfront communication about your desires and a woman who is into it or at least open enough to the idea to do it for you.

I think you will find that if it is with your consent, it will hurt less. Also, if it is structured in whatever way most appeals to you (some men like to watch, some to stay home; some to know in advance, some just after the fact; some want all the details, others prefer not to know; etc.) it will hurt less because it will help you to feel that your desires were part of the equation - a reamister she did it. (Not the only reamister, one hopes. If she is having no fun and only doing it for you that isn't very healthy for the relationship.)

When you tell women upfront what you want, you can have a conversation about the various ways things could go and this will allow you to provide her with all kinds of information about what will make it good for you too.

Best of luck with it!
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

I'm not sure I understand what your scenario.

1) Last year your now ex-wife cheated on you, told you, and it excited you.
2) Two months ago the two of you got divorced (presumably her idea).
3) She now has a boyfriend and that makes you jealous and depressed to the point of counseling, yet it still
excites you. (essentially cuckold angst gone way too far, IF you were still together, but you are not)

If I wasn't confused enough...

4) Then your ex-wife comes back "home" and takes her sexy clothes (which she left after you divorced for some apparent reamister) and you ask "Why?"
5) She then goes to a conference presumably to get sexed up by her new boyfriend or someone else and which still excites you but it hurts that she's moved on?

IF that is the scenario, then a few things appear true. You may indeed be a masochist with a cuckold fetish. She unfortunately for you does not seem interested. I would humbly suggest that you read one or more of Goodhusband's stories which almost all feature a masochistic cuckold husband in a loving relationship and look for a new woman who can fill your void which causes you such pain. I will add one caveat, she could have easily just bought new clothes, or taken them when she originally left, so perhaps she may sadistically enjoy the pain you are feeling. IMHO S&M and cuckolding without emotional attachment by both parties is pain without pleasure, but that is something only you can decide for yourself. Good Luck!

Thank you Zinc03 You've professionally summarized my story.

I expect you'll get two broad perspectives on this -- most serious people will sympathize and try to help, and most of the fantasy dudes on here will just encourage you to go along with being hurt and miserable. I'm not going to give you any advice, but I will say that fantasy aside, I've definitely embraced actually being really hurt at times (I think I mostly got interested in cuckolding as a result of being cheated on and finding some way to deal with the emotional wound). It's probably not the healthiest place to be, but I'd be a hypocrite if I actually recommended you do what's actually healthy because I haven't done that myself many times. So, I'm not recommending that you dwell on your ex-wife and sitting around jerking off being depressed and feeling like an inadequate loser who's been betrayed and rejected, but if you go that route, you're not exactly alone here, and you could definitely talk to me at least.

Great,

Thank you guys.really thank you

different perspectives are still welcome

I am in total awe! I had never realized that so many guys were able to turn the unwanted hurt and cheating by a loved one into acceptance of the role and ending up enjoying the hurt and offense it cause them. The old saying "If life only gives you lemons, then you should make lemonade" is true I guess. Judging by some of the comments, some guys turned being cheated on into making themselves willing cuckolds. It was not the case with me, but I can certainly understand where they're coming from...the anxiety one feels when your wife is being used by another male is a mixture of agony and ecstasy...I guess that's why we enjoy it so much...it's a feeling of helplessness (we can't help what nature made us...cuckolds) and fulfillment (we have learned to love and embrace what nature made us...cuckolds). So in the end, all is well that ends well. If you end up accepting your role and learning to enjoy it, then it has been a positive experience for you, even if it started out as a negative one (being cheated on by your wife or gf). Nature has a way of heeling all wounds, and this must be nature's way of having men cope with their wives' infidelity. Better than going off the deep end and doing something stupid or that you'll regret. Marriage counselors could probably learn from these facts.

Extremely well stated!

A wife adulterates herself by sexing other men than her husband. She is unfaithful regardless of spousal consent. Therefore: Every husband of an extra-marital wife is a cuckold by definition. How can "adulterate" ever be congruent to "faithful"?

A wife unmans her hubby in her own mind just as soon as she accepts her lover's sex. She effectively blows his balls off. She is free and he knows that her genie is forever out of his bottle. Life goes on. Bills have to be paid, lawn needs mowing and hubby quickly adjusts to the new rules by adapting as you describe in your post. Since her unmanning of hubby is psychological rather than hormonal, male juice can still stimulate fantasy...

Any cuckold that has been properly broken by his wife is amazed at the speed he accepts and embraces his wife's wishes. It feels that he is being traitor against himself but he avidly obeys her authority.

Cuckold sexual pleasure and emotional pain go together well. There is no way a husband can handle the pain of realization that another man gets the party side of his wife. Then brings her home to hubby to hold her hair as she pukes and cleans her (puke not pie) afterwards. The savior here is sexual masochism. The smart cuckold uses the intense emotional turmoil from another man with a hand on his wife's rudder - and her alert response to his direction, as a powerful fuel. He uses this fuel to operate some high grade sexual fantasies. It works! Many men would not change this setup for anything! A similar scenario for women might be a simple wooden spoon!
Ladies know how to have masochistic fun from failures without making themselves look ridiculous or compromising their dignity.

A great deal of cuckolds who can't even get hard enough to penetrate a glass of water and their wives are both enjoying incredible sex lives from cuckolding!
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Dear Arab cuckold, There iis allways cuckold angst involved in this way of life.You have to accept that its more than likely over.You may be able to start to have a conversation with her about how you could accept her playing around and maybe develope some sort of relationship but it sounds like its finished at least For now..Move on cucky, now that you know you like this sort of life you may find the woman you need for this..Its allways going to be a problem because a woman developes deep feeling with her lovers..So next time make sure she knows you accept her and support her..
Linda

accept