Fantasy to reality advice required

To give some background to my situation - I am on my second marriage and married to an extremely hot 39 yr old woman who has had a much more sexually active life before we married than i have had. This has included being fucked by 3 men in one night, fucking 4 of her ex boyfriends friends when they were on a break and having countless married men (she particularly enjoys fucking other womens men) however since we married 8 years ago she has been a faithful wife (i think) with the chat about anything kinky being reserved for when we have sex.

In terms of myself (42), I was married very young (19) to my first wife and we led a very humdrum sex life with not a single thought about being cuckolded or dominated and the marriage peetered out after 10 years. I met Gemma whilst i was still married and had a really hot affair which resulted in me divorcing my first wife and marrying Gemma.

Pretty much as soon as we got together i used to see other men look at Gemma in a very lustful way and as this hadn't really happened with my first wife as she was not nearly as hot so it was a whole new experience for me and from the very start i didn't feel any real jealousy just pride and arousal - this was a bit of a surprise to me as i am pretty much an alpha male being an ex marine and now pretty successful in business so being cool with blokes leering at my gorgeous wife seemed a bit strange.

This progressed to me fantasising about other men fucking my stunning wife and we would often talk about her previous sexual conquests which would give me raging hard on but it was always very much in the fantasy world which suited us both at the time. I started to go onto the internet viewing websites about hotwives/cuckolding/female domination etc and the more i viewed the more i wanted this to be something we tried.

Gemma was fully aware that i was looking at these kind of websites and after a discussion she agreed that i would be put on an orgasm denial program were she would limit my orgasms but she would have as many as she liked - this was extremely hot for both us and i can now say that it is over a year since i have cum inside her. She would set me cum dates that she would put into my work diary however if there were any indiscretions or petulance she would shift these back - the longest i have been denied is 2 months but she would make me fuck her and bring her to orgasm but i wouldn't be allowed any release, this was extremely hot for both us and also made me a very compliant husband in every way. This has made her very happy with her lot - a husband who will do anything for her in regards to chores, buying her gifts and she can cum anytime she likes.

Things however have developed further in last 2 months with her know going out with girlfriends whilst i stay in and look after the youngren. The first real incident of note happened just before Christmas when she went out with the girls on Christams night out. I will explained further in my next post and will be seeking advice about the best way forward.

Is she a cuckoldress??

She's a sexy woman...... maybe you should talk to her more about exploring this lifestyle?

What happend at Christmass??
Cuck who loves a creampie.

denyedcuck
And talk we did!!
It was becoming clear that whilst denying me had it benefits she was missing being fucked really hard as my performance when we did have sex was becoming less than satisfactory due to the fact that i would struggle not to cum quickly because i would get too excited after being denied for a minimum of a month. An example of this is detailed in an email she sent to me after taking her away for the weekend.

Dear Slave
Whilst mistress was wholly apreciative of the wonderful weekend slave gave her, it has not gone unnoticed that slave has had performance problems too. It really is becoming an issue that you are unable to fuck me hard without coming yourself. I can only put this down to 2 things; either slave is very selfish or slave is not capable of holding back.

You are now on a strict punishment week.

Firstly. I will insist that you wear your cock cage all evening . Secondly, your hands will be bound whilst I fuck myself with the vibrator (please note that this is only until I find a real cock to satisfy me)
I also have to draw your attention to some petulance you showed the other night. You DO NOT decide what form tease and denial takes. If I choose to ignore you totally one night that is your lot, and to be honest just the sight of me next to you on the sofa should arouse you.

Petulance will be severely punished.

Remember I am in charge. In this wife led marriage I have the right to humiliate you, punish you and be fucked by whoever I choose. When I am out in December be very aware of my track record and especially when I am takes. Lets be honest I am not even to be trusted at weddings.

Mistress


This clearly defined my new status in our relationship and that she had the intention of getting her satisfaction elsewhere. Will continue later this evening.

Gemma had made it clear that due to my inability to fuck her properly and through a discussion we had that she would from now on have the sexual freedom to do as she wishes. There was some nervousness on her behalf on 2 fronts - firstly would turning this into reality spoil our very good marriage through me not being able to deal with it when it actually happened i.e be careful what you wish for and also she thought it might be a ploy for me to be unfaithful once she had done the deed. I spent days and weeks convincing her that i could deal with any jealousy and that this certainly wasn't about me going with other women.

Over the next few weeks she really opened about her own sexual fantasies which included fucking a number of my friends that she has fancied for years but obviously never told me through fear of me going mad and also some of my work colleagues especially my boss, she was really getting into the thought of humiliating me.

We both had Christmas nights out that fell on the same night however mine was over 200 miles away in a different city, this did mean that we had to get family to look after the kids which resulted in our house being absolutely free for my wife to use if needed. I was horny as fuck throughout the day especially when my wife confirmed that her wild friend was going on the night out as i knew with take and a partner in crime she would be a lot braver.

I didn't text her throughout the night as i didn't want to pressurise things plus i was getting pissed myself, it was only when i returned to my hotel at 2.15am that i sent a text which started a flow of messages that absolutely blew my mind and had me rock hard. It went as follows:

1.59 me - have you had a good night?
2.01 Gemma - Its all happening here
2.02 me - r u being naughty?
2.20 Gemma - yes - some fit young bloke wants to take me home
2.21 me - that is so fucking horny you little slut. love you xx
2.30 gemma - my friend agrees!
2.31 me - i am so hard - enjoy yourself
2.42 gemma - he is mmmmm
2.43 me - does he know your texting me
2.43 gemma - yes and so does liz and her fella
2.44 me - that is mind blowing u r free do what u like - i've wanted this for years
2.50 gemma - he thinks i'm a dirty milf he is 28 can i snog him
2.50 me - yes of course
2.51 gemma - stop texting me for a bit

about 45 mins later i received a inadvertant call from Gemma her phone was in her handbag and had call me by mistake from her speed dial. She was getting into taxi with her friend and once they had given their addresses I heard the following converstaion:
lots of muffled noises but then i made out the following
liz - your guy was so fit and you so could have had him back to your place
gemma - i know, when i showed him the texts he knew he was on to a good thing
liz - my fella gave me his business card
gemma - mine said we must do this again
liz - will hubby not mind
gemma - no he's cool with everything, he wouldn't mind if i had taken him back to ours
more muffled noises and then the phone cut off.

the agony of being 200 miles away when my wife first cuckolded me was excruciating. I wanked myself to relax but did not cum out of respect to my hotwife.

I text her in the morning to ask if i was now a cuckold but got no reply - when i got home i tried to quiz her about the night but she was very evasive and said nothing really happened. i was disappointed and started to quiz her more but she didn't want to talk about it and this was her stance the rest of the weekend. I so wanted to know what went on and felt a bit cheated out of the whole cuckold expperience of get all the horny details. On Mon morning she sent me the following email:

Slave
I think I need to tweak some things. Whilst I am happy with the freedom I have , part of the process is that I cheat on you without you knowing. Therefore you need to be a little less eager to let me fuck someone else. I hope this makes sense. You are still a cuckold regardless of whether I tell you or not.
Mistress[b]

To be honest i am now confused - i want to be a cuckold that gets all the details. There has been another incident since (I will post if anyone to know about it) but i don't get any of the finer details after she has sobered up the next morning any advice would be appreciated.

scubarogue -

bit harsh me thinks, this is us starting down the cuckold route and i think she just feels a little uncomfortable telling her husband about her being with other men. I was looking for constructive advice not a comdemnation of my very solid and happy marriage.

Anybody else out there who has any advice about making their wife feel comfortable about divulging the details of their trysts

It sounds like your wife has something in common with mine. My wife has cucked me on several occassions, and each time things are a little different. Most of the time it's because each guy had different issues with the cuckolding thing. Most guys don't want to be observed, and some want to keep the whole thing secretive for one reamister or another.

Back to the "common" thing. My wife enjoys cucking me, but she has a fantasy of her own that centers around cheating on me. She has explained that there is a thrill associated with keeping things secretive and sneeking around. Her cheating fantasy never involved replacing me, only the thrill of having a secret and playing around without me knowing. If I am right, your wife may have similar fantasies or desires.

The best advice I can give you. First, is to be completely open with her about how you feel. Second, you have to control your desire to push her for information. Let things happen on her time and she will bring you into it when she is ready. Third, (probably the most important) You must find some common ground. Talk to her and find out if she gets a thrill when it comes to "cheating". If she does then the both of you need to talk about rules that will help both of you enjoy the experience. Rules like: How long she is allowed cheat, before she needs to let you in on the secret. How she is going to go about letting you know that she cheated; such as comming out and telling you right away, or maybe teasing you with clues and hints. A rule for you might be that you are not allowed to spy on her, don't be following her or trying to read her text messages (If you do, you might ruin the experience for both of you).

It's not an easy thing knowing that your wife might cheat on you at any point in time. But if you communicate and let her know how you feel, and listen to what she says about how she feels. It could be fun for both of you. During the whole experience, you will have to keep reminding yourself that she loves you and will not leave you for the other guy. If both of you are open to the idea of her playing out her fantasy, then both of you will enjoy the experince.

Tom, I think you really have the right idea. Everyone needs to get their needs met, and sometimes it means that couples have to get creative about how they do that.

Telling or not telling are not the only options. How long before it's communicated... What details are given... etc.

xoxoxo

Christine

I agree 100% with Cucked_Tom. The keys are this:

1. You must be open and honest with her about your needs and what you want. She loves you, so she'll see to it.

2. You need to stop pushing so hard, especially in these early stages. She seems to have momentum now. Be patient.

3. Trust her. If you are open and honest and patient, she will make your dreams come true.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Thanks Cucked Tom, Bpop and MrBlackblowupdoll

I take on board your comments and to be honest there was a development yesterday when i sent an email to my wife putting across how i feel and what works for me - i have attached my email and Gemma's response. Things are developing!!!!!

Dear Mistress

Just to let you know that just hearing that the bloke was very masculine and big!! (not sure in what way he was big but big is good anyway i look at it) makes me feel horny as hell. I genuinely would like to know more about your horny night but i'm concerned that you don't feel comfortable telling me about stuff through fear of any adverse reaction from me or that you feel that i am trying to lead you into some sort of trap - i can assure that this definitely isn't the case.

As it said in the piece i sent you the other day it is something that men that are wired like me want to know what their horny wives have been upto. Your comment the other night about whether i was ok with your comment that you wished that when you had kissed/got off with the 'hottest guy in town' before christmas does lead me to think that you are concerned about my reaction. I want to dispel this fear totally - I absolutely love it that you have this sexual freedom and i have never been happier than i am right now.

I have had this fantasy for years and when you have told me about the time you had 3 blokes in 1 night or when you fucked your ex boyfriend mates i have always in my head envisaged that these events happened whilst you were with me.

I am not sure whether some of your misgivings is that you want me to be jealous but i think that my head doesn't do jealousy on the back of having an extremely jealous ex wife who showed me how bad it can make a relationship. But just because i am not jealous in the conventional way doesn't mean that i love you any less, in fact like i said the other day i think we have the strongest marriage and bond of all the other couples that are in our immediate circle.

I certainly don't want you to feel that i am pressurising you and i am not asking for you to tell me it all the following day after any incident of you being a slut but i do need to know that you will over the coming weeks let me know the finer details otherwise i start feel increasingly like it's your secret and that makes me feel a bit insecure. I genuinely would like to talk you face to face about all this but i can feel your discomfort so maybe it would be easier for you to write it down.

Like i said the other night i really do want to know how sexy my wife has been as it's what does it for me.
This is something i have craved for so long and really want it to happen but i just want you to understand where i am at.

Your Slave[/b]

And her reply

Slave

You are right I do if I am honest have some reservations. Whilst I get hugely turned on by the whole thing and I like the thought of being naughty I suppose I am worried that you may turn on me at some point.

I know you keep saying you wont but who knows?

It is not really conventional what we are doing although I am sure lots goes on behind closed doors. Lets face it how many people swing? Loads I am sure and it is rife in "conservative middle class suburbia".

Be patient with me pls.

I am not keeping anything secret... lets face it you know I kissed the guy on Friday and I kinda wished I hadn' t let guy at the christmas party slip thru the net ; ). Will have to sort another night out in town and hope I bump into him !!!![b]

This may be no help at all to you but I think it is probably true. The wife, in all these situations, has to respect the husband - hopefully as a man in at least some respects, whether it is as provider, head of the house or in normal relationships, dominant lover.

It could be that telling you the details of cheating on you - or you pleading for her to tell you, makes it harder in the short term for her to respect you. In a sense, being the strong loving husband who can deal with the emotions is the harder thing to do.

Aside from that, agree with the guys above. Communicate, be patient, don't over-push... let it grow...

mr two