Should we take it to the next level?

My kids are still relatively young... so I just play after bedtime. My bedroom is on the complete opposite side of the house, and there's outside access, so none of my guys are ever in this part of the house.

Occasionally I do go out, but it's rare.

I think it's a bit harsh to think that your wife would fall for her bull and dump you. She loves you, she takes pleasure in knowing you enjoy this as well... I don't think you've got anything to worry about.

>I think it's a bit harsh to think that your wife would fall for her bull and dump you.....

LOL... yes I know thats true, ok so the real reason is because I would feel left out and would find the emotions more difficult for me to deal with.

Here are a few suggestions:

1) Come up with some activities that will give the two of you an excuse to leave the home for her dates. Perhaps dancing, or a book club, or something like that where you can meet her date at a hotel or his place.

2) Maybe she can have "make believe" girlfriend that she spends time with sometimes. The two of you will have to come up with ways of keeping you involved, like phone calls, or taping their sessions, etc. Brainstorm together for ideas. As long as the of you are doing it together and you keep up the communication, I dont think you have to worry about losing her.

This is an easy one- go let her have fun and don't worry so much about her. Like another poster said, there are easy ways that you can invilve yourself. My girlfriend (now wife) did all of her cheating and swinging on her own, but has learned that I love to hear stories. Theres nothing like the sick feeling inside when she doesn't come home on a Friday night and you just know someone is having their way with her.

Let her try it and see how it goes, you lucky son of a bitch.

I understand your fears about here falling for a bull, but I think it is unlikely. Usually for that to happen the wife needs to be specifically mentally open for it. Either there needs to be trouble in the relationship with you or she needs to have made a resolve that she wants romance outside (not just sex). You can reduce the risk by not having her have a single steady bull. If she has a few guys she sees occasionally rather than one she sees all the time, she is not likely to get enough time with any single one to get so confused in her emotions as to fall for him. In fact, the kids are your ally in this as her "dates" in general are likely to be short and too the point, rather than the long "getting to know you as a person" weekends and such which open the door to falling for someone.

As for children, we have none, so i cannot speak from personal experience, but here are a couple of ideas:

1. Next time kids want to go horseback riding, or whatever, and you have something scheduled just tell them no, that mommy and daddy have an important meeting and you'll all go horseback riding another time.

2. Let her go on her own, slowly, with the arrangement that you have a long intimate session together afterwards in which she shares the details blow-by-blow with you.

3. Baby-sitters.

Good luck. Those kids are lucky to have parents like!

Do you have any pictures of her? My cheating wife is younger too, and goes for the young wood (or at least compared to me).

Another suggestion - a video camera. She can watch your expressions when you review the tape together. Others here also suggest the listen in technique, where you listen through the phone. That is a good safety feature as well.

Good luck.

I would really enjoy the video camera idea.

She posted several pictures of herself on her thread in the wives section and I've posted many times before.

I think her post has moved down to the second page, but her user name is Angel_Love and the title was something like "the wife that finally decides to take control...." She is still in control, but we really need to make the time to play, for her.

If one or both of you is uncomfortable with her playing alone, then don't do it.

It sounds to me like the bigger issue here may be setting up boundaries between your wife and the kids. It also sounds like those boundary issues may need to be addressed both ways.

I agree across the boad Ted. Since I first made this post, I've talked with her about it a few times and she at present does not want to do it without me.

I also agree about the kids, we are just struggling with keeping them on the positive path at present.

Keep us posted on how your situation progresses, please!