| Author |
Message |
Orexiz
Member
4
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# Posted: 3 May 2008 02:56:33
Reply
Hi !
We are a young couple (F 25 & M 30), we are rather new to cuckolding, and we need a piece of advice. Hubby got this new job, where he will be travelling a lot and for that reason, he will not be home that much. Therefore, she gets to be with her loves quite often, and we talked a lot of her having them sleep over (in hubbies bed of cause). However, we have some concern about our kids (6, 2 and 0 years old); she will not have them knowing anything about her nightly adventures and her “changing out there father”. So, what does she tell them !? – is there any solution to this issue ?
We both want this extremely much, on the other hand, if she cannot come up with an answer to this – she will not go along with it.
Please advice !?!?!
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Gwpe3XD7
Member
244
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# Posted: 3 May 2008 03:17:55
Reply
Maybe for a couple of years you might be OK. I think after that you will be SOL, kids ask a lot of questions and they can add 2+2 and it ain't 4.
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timidcuck_ut
Member
34
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# Posted: 3 May 2008 06:18:16
Reply
This is definitely a real issue to address and one often overlooked here in fantasyland. I am in a similar situation (7,5,2) although my wife is not planning on cucking me anytime soon, but I have often thought about what to do if she does. And if your kids are anything like mine, it seems that one of them ends up in our room in the middle of the night every other night, which would be very confusing to them if its not me in bed with mommy. I also travel quite a bit for work.
Option 1: Stay Away. Simply limit all activity to outside the home. You may have to explain why mommy is gone so much, but you can use things like a part time job or a hobby for a cover, I think easier than explaining another man's presence.
Option 2: The Houseguest. Tell the kids that you will be housing a man for a little while...months, a year, whatever. You can get creative with the scenario....he could be from work, an old friend, a wayward traveler. Then wife has access to him when the coast is clear. Wifey still needs to be discreet with encounters and use those locks because the last thing you want is to explain things after being caught.
Option 3: Tell the Truth. It is an alternate lifestyle, but one that is real. So you can just tell them the truth of what is going on. I don't like this option because I think it has moral consequences that can't be undone, but for some it may be a viable option.
Good luck
Let me introduce you to my wife.
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Gwpe3XD7
Member
244
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# Posted: 3 May 2008 06:52:21
Reply
timidcuck_ut I like your post. When would you use option 3? At what age would to try to explain to kids what's going on? Do you think the kids might take up where the parents left off when they get older?
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timidcuck_ut
Member
34
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# Posted: 3 May 2008 13:21:26
Reply
Personally, I don't think it is a given that they will follow in the same pathway. I am not an expert on this, nor do I consider myself a perfect parent, I just think this kind of stuff should be left to adults. If they get into it when they are adults, then so be it.
As I sit here and type this, the thought occurs to me that I suppose there are more subtle ways to steer them this way, like teaching your daughters its OK to manipulate boys and get what you want, or your boys to always submit to their female counterparts. I don't know, its just a thought.
But to answer your question, I suppose around the time when you have the 'sex talk' with them. I imagine it could be similar to children of gay or lesbian parents. Would enjoy others thoughts as well.
Let me introduce you to my wife.
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Kellie
Member
13
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# Posted: 7 May 2008 00:22:20
Reply
My daughter was 12 when I told her that men would be coming to the house from time to time. She's accepted our lifestyle and now she thinks it's "kewl" that I date men other than her dad. I guess it would have to depend on how mature your children are, but I've always tried to be honest with my daughter.
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PalmCoastCouple
Member
268
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# Posted: 7 May 2008 02:43:18
Reply
While we can certainly appreciate those who choose to enlighten their children to their lifestyle, we choose not to. We only have one child (10). Kids ask a lot of questions, see a lot more than you realize, and understand more than you think...! Bear that in mind if you try to have "him" over and play some charade. They may not know what's happening... but they WILL know something isn't quite right.
Also.... a reality check.... be 100% certain you know the guy before bringing him into your home and exposing him to situations where he could end up alone with your children!
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1. the husband of an unfaithful wife. NOTE - It DOES NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, sissyboy, crossdresser, cocksucker, scat eater, piss drinker, beastiality, incest or pedophilia.
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Soccer Momm
Member
9
Pictures: 1
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# Posted: 7 May 2008 04:30:20
Reply
A good way to handle it is simply state mommy has the need to date other men but that doesn't mean she loves daddy any less. It works.
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Soccer Momm
Member
9
Pictures: 1
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# Posted: 7 May 2008 04:31:11
Reply
A good way to handle it is simply state mommy has the need to date other men but that doesn't mean she loves daddy any less. It works.
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Gwpe3XD7
Member
244
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# Posted: 7 May 2008 04:52:30
Reply
Your kids must be pretty young if you can bullshit them with "mommy has a need" It won't take them long to figure out that mommy is fucking other men.
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jamesriske
Member
1320
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# Posted: 7 May 2008 09:24:44 · Edited by: jamesriske
Reply
I don't believe any of the bullshit replies to this poster if indeed his post is for real.
Anyone with children at all knows to completely shield them from any aspect of this lifestyle at all.
"""""My daughter was 12 when I told her that men would be coming to the house from time to time. She's accepted our lifestyle and now she thinks it's "kewl" that I date men other than her dad. I guess it would have to depend on how mature your children are, but I've always tried to be honest with my daughter. """""
If this is true, you have some serious problems and I suggest that you end your sex games immediately and talk to a sex therapist immediately. I'm not kidding, you are way overboard.
There is a number one rule to any type of cuckolding or swinging: Do NOT involve your children or home life at all.
If you want to go fuck your stud while your hubby is away, get a babysitter and go to his place or a motel.
You have to be out of your mind to bring your swinging friend into your household so the kids can see what is going on. Just out of your mind (if any of you do this for real). And any one who has children knows what I'm talking about.
My wife and I swing and have two daughters. They don't have a clue and we never mix the two at all, period. I would never ever even come close to having them even suspect that something is going on or expose my daughters to some stud that my wife is fucking.
If you people are real, you need to stop what you're doing and put your children first. You can still have your fun and protect your children at the same time. I know that a lot of people come on here and pretend and bullshit that they are in the lifestyle for their own fantasy pleasure and post fantasies about what they think their lives and home life would be like but when you post shit like this, others might believe it and actually do it someday.
Keep that in mind when posting your fantasies.
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blackside999
Member
46
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# Posted: 7 May 2008 10:02:19
Reply
Do NOT expose your kids to your lifestyle. It would be tantamount to abuse. Although I believe cuckolding is a natural lifestyle for a lot of people, it is not something children she be exposed to in any way. Your children should be the most important thing, period. Their lives should be stable growing up and into young adulthood -- and their parents' sex life, cuckolding or otherwise, should never be exposed to children of any age. It causes serious harm. Get a babysitter and go to a hotel, figure out some other means, or just put it on hold if the situation can't be kept from the kids. I'm sure there are methods you can figure out, but keep in mind that children pick up on even the slightest thing, so don't assume "they just won't know" or that they can't figure things out.
It's not dishonest to keep your children from harm. Some things are simply between you and your husband, and not meant for kids. It's obvious you mean well by bringing up this question, so do the right thing for your children.
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Corbin
Member
4
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# Posted: 10 May 2008 20:08:40
Reply
Here is my idea.
Put a door to your bedroom from the outside so that when its bed time and everyone goes to sleep the wifes lovers can come in from the back door. Also sound proof the room so that no mommy noises escape. I think it is fine for mom to have lovers but the kids should not know about it. Let them be kids as long as they can. When they are adults they can make up their own mind what lifestyle (if any) they want to live. Have fun.
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Tom7766
Member
19
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# Posted: 10 May 2008 22:00:16
Reply
As a therapist for alt lifestyle individuals, I concur with those that say do not expose them to this. I counsel many many children from couples in the lifestyle and I believe that most of them can not handle it. Also I counsel adults that used the lifestyle as a means to get access to children because they were pedophiles.
Tom7766
Tom anderson
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bottomsupinpa
Member
88
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# Posted: 11 May 2008 02:51:30
Reply
Keep it out of the house and away from kids. The psychological harm would be devastating.
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redimac
Member
1611
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# Posted: 12 May 2008 16:13:46
Reply
bottomsupinpa
right on.
This is not for kids to understand, see or experience...period. It takes one sick fuck to include children. Think jail.
Joe Preston
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casualmelb
Member
54
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# Posted: 12 May 2008 20:01:34
Reply
Kids are off limits. No ifs and buts.
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lonestarlove
Member
23
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# Posted: 12 May 2008 20:53:43
Reply
The excitement comes from the secrecy. If you're unable to keep it a secret and your child finds out. They will be scarred for life because they won't understand.
Women can cheat more often and are so much more efficient at it. So why the competition, gentlemen?
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redimac
Member
1611
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# Posted: 15 May 2008 05:21:46
Reply
lonestarlove
That's just wierd.
Joe Preston
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
168
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# Posted: 15 May 2008 16:34:21
Reply
Orexie,
Let me state up front that I have no children of my own, so I am not talking from experience. But since you asked for advice, here are my thoughts:
As a general rule, your wife should not have the lovers over while the kids are in the house. Get a sitter and go out, or drop them with a sympathetic friend. The problem with some of the proposed solutions offered here is that they are simply impractical in real life.
There is simply no way to talk frankly to prepubescent children about this situation without talking about sex. I am not a child psychologist, but as a matter of social and cultural convention adults simply do not discuss such matters with children as young as yours if it can be at all avoided.
Some folks may feel heretical or rebellious towards this attitude, feeling “sex is natural,” etc. But whatever merits their arguments may have, stepping outside the societal rules on this point is very risky. In the US, for instance, the level of casual frankness regarding vanilla sex that is commonly exercised in front of children in some parts of Europe isn’t even acceptable here in NYC. Imagine the consequences should some unenlightened, overly zealous school or public official (no hard to find) heard anything about this? Do you really want to find yourself forced to justify your lifestyle and parental fitness to civil servants who may find it shocking, bizarre, or repulsive? Think about the negative impact that could have on the kids. Unless you have some sort of ideological commitment to fighting this fight because you think it is in the best interests of the kids, why risk it?
No doubt I am old fashioned, but just I think your sex life (or just romantic life, or even social life) is not a topic for discussion with the kids, I’m not big on the idea of parents answering to their children generally. As a result, I don’t think you ever need to explain to them if there are other adults around who they are or why they are there. All they need to know is to treat their parent’s friends with respect. Also, age is obviously a factor. A 2 year old and an infant is clearly a different matter from a 6 year old who is more likely to intuit things and remember them. Having said that, it is hard for me to believe that a lot of guys are going to be turned on by your wife breaking off in the middle because the baby woke up and is crying in the next room. So while the “houseguest” is more viable than the “truth” option, it is still impractical on an on-going basis.
So, again, my advice is to play it safe and keep the kids and the lovers under separate roofs. But she should definitely find a way. (If you have no relatives or friends who will help – and wouldn’t it be humiliating to ask – maybe she can find a lover who does.)
Good luck!
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lonestarlove
Member
23
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# Posted: 15 May 2008 23:07:29
Reply
What the hell are you talking about?
Keep it a secret.
Thats the thrill. Keep it a secret from everyone.
Women can cheat more often and are so much more efficient at it. So why the competition, gentlemen?
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straponfantasizer
Member
7
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# Posted: 16 May 2008 07:02:46
Reply
Well, your children have no business being anywhere near the cuckold lifestyle... take "vacations," have the wife "go out with her girlfriends," have the kids go spend the night at their grandparents or a friend's house, but there is no excuse for running that risk of your children walking in on you in the act... they don't deserve to have to deal with that going through life-- life's tough enough as it is, and it doesn't need a rotten cherry on top.
I don't chime in often, but I feel strongly about this one.
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