Awakening

As always looking forward to another chapter of your work

I know I am coming to the party late, but I thought the same thing Michael thought in post 28. Thanks for an intriguing and so far different story !! You ROCK Senor !

Dear GH, you are an amazing writer. I love your work. This female protagonist is neither a Lady or a GoodWife. Maybe the intro to Literotica I got from this site when someone recommended "When we were married" has changed me. Maybe I now ID too much with the BTB crowd. But heck even when I was a D/s slave to femdom Ladies I would never have tolerated blatant inconsiderate behavior. Inconsiderate literally means that the item or permister has no value to be reckoned for. Hard to accept in a Primary Relationship. Having said all that, you are so awesome a writer, I look forward to where you take this!!

Thanks for showing a reamistered response from an intelligent and genteel man to one of the most permisteral insults and betrayals a guy can face.

Peak

You and I discussed our mutual appreciation for John Steinbeck while I was writing "Courtesan". while I love the reference, I think you'll see from my next posts that this isn't going to be a "Travels With Charlie"

I'm not worried about the year and I think from the next posts you'll see why. I do have a couple of stories to tell while Michael is traveling, but a year can pass quickly.

Timmy

As always, thanks for the comment.

Sally ann

I really am enjoying writing this. It is different in so many ways.

Hi Ajax

Thank you for the compliment. I'm adding two segments today. The last segment was very difficult and I'm still not certain that I got it right. I've learned in the past that sometimes I just have to post it.

Racingdon

Once again, thanks for taking a moment to tell me you're enjoying my story. I appreciate it.

oldbearswitch

I try to portray loving relationships. In this case it's a marriage that's going through change. I believe that communication, understanding and compassion are essential elements in all marriages. I hope that all of my stories reflect that belief.

Thanks for the comment


All of you, thank you again for taking a moment to comment

I hope to post again next Monday or Tuesday

GH

The next day I stopped at a souvenir store in Deadwood, South Dakota where I bought two post cards. On The back of each one I wrote:

I love you, I miss you. I don't blame you for anything. Please understand that I need a little time to process everything that's happened. I look forward to seeing you when I return.

Love

Dad

I sent one to Tricia and one to Jodie.

I spent the rest of the morning touring the Black Hills. After lunch I headed west. The next night I stayed in Buffalo, Wyoming.

That night I downloaded another Julia Ann movie. The previous night I'd tried to avoid thinking about Jeanne while I watched the movie. It wasn't easy. This time I didn't try. I didn't fight it. I let myself imagine that I was watching Jeanne. Julia Ann is actually a good actress. She's able to make me believe that she's truly enjoying herself. As I watched her suck her costars cock I remembered what Jeanne had looked like while she was licking Derek Fischer's balls. There wasn't any doubt in my mind that she'd been enjoying herself too.

At first I was jealous. Occasionally in the past Jeanne had grudgingly agreed to suck my cock. Unfortunately her obvious distaste about what she was doing almost always ruined the experience for me.

As my jealousy was turning into sadness I recalled what Jennifer Rawlins had said to me in the Cosmopolitan Lounge; "My husband had me on a pedestal. I was his wife, the lady of his youngren and his ideal of feminine perfection. It was a status that I enjoyed and one that I wasn't willing to risk. I didn't dare admit to that wonderful man that I occasionally had an insatiable desire to be a nasty cock sucking slut."

I remembered what Jeanne had said in her letter; "It took me forty-nine years and the help of my flowers to overcome the inhibitions that were drilled into me when I was growing up. Now that I've finally been able to do that I want to enjoy sex."

I started to understand.

I watched the movie. I imagined that it was Jeanne sucking that big cock. I can't say that it aroused me. While watching a woman suck a man's cock certainly excited me, I still had mixed feelings about watching my wife do it. I did however have a reaction that surprised me. It was fun to imagine Jeanne enjoying herself so much.

I remembered what Charles had said to me the previous Saturday afternoon. "During the days before her weekend getaways Edith was actually giddy with excitement. It's fun to see the woman you love that happy."

Mixed feelings aside, I loved Jeanne and I had to admit that imagining her enjoying herself did make me happy.

After finishing the movie that night I went back to a scene where Julia Ann was eagerly sucking her costars cock. I watched it a second time and masturbated. When I was finished I slipped into bed and slept peacefully.

I spent the next several weeks sightseeing in the Rocky Mountains. I continued to stay in regular email contact with Ruth. In our emails we would often tease each other about our new mutual appreciation for erotic cinema. Ruth and her husband David were still enjoying Roxanne Hall movies on a regular basis.

Near the end of September I was at a Motel 6 in Boise, Idaho. After dinner I turned on my computer. There was an email from Ruth. I opened it.


Michael

I have something I need to discuss with you. I'm afraid that it's going to be a little permisteral. I'm writing to you about it because I trust you and in many ways it seems to be related to your situation with Jeanne. I hope I don't embarrass you.

Last night David and I were watching one of our Roxanne Hall movies. We now have an extensive collection. At the time I was actually the only one watching the movie. David was going down on me. I assume you understand what I mean by that. David loves giving me head, especially while we're watching a movie and frankly I enjoy it every bit as much as he does.

Halfway through the movie David took a break. He looked up at me and asked if I ever fantasized about actually being with the men in the movies. The guy in the movie we were watching was amazingly well endowed, so of course I was fantasizing about him. Not wanting to lie to my husband I cautiously told him that I did. His reaction surprised me. He just smiled and said good and then he went back to pleasuring me.

I thought about all of this for a few seconds and then I tapped the side of David's head. When he looked up at me I asked him if he ever fantasized about other women.

He told me that he didn't. While I was a little surprised by that, I was even more surprised by his next revelation. He told me that all of his fantasies were about me with other men.

While I was shocked, I was also excited. Remember, David had just been going down on me. I pulled him up so he was sitting next to me and asked him if he'd like to see me with the guy in the movie we were watching. He nodded and told me that he'd like that very much. He then asked me if I was excited by the size of the guy's cock. I'm sorry Michael, I don't mean to embarrass you. I just don't know how to explain what happened without using words like that.

You know David. He's not a big man. He has small hands and feet. He also has a small penis. I love him so it's always been enough for me, but I did experience a few other guys before we were married and one of them was big. I have to admit that sex with him was amazing, really amazing; so yes I was excited by the size of this guy's cock.

Still I didn't want to hurt David, so trying to be diplomatic I just said that it was big. Not satisfied with that answer, David pressed me. He agreed that it was big but wanted to know if I found big cocks exciting.

I really didn't want to lie to David, so I told him that I didn't want to hurt his feelings; but yes, big cocks did excite me. He told me that it was okay. He knew I loved him and he knew that I enjoyed his cock. Big cocks were a fun fantasy and it was all right with him if I wanted to enjoy that fantasy.

That made me feel better. I asked David if he enjoyed fantasizing about women with large breasts. He told me that he didn't and then he repeated that his favorite fantasies all involved me with other men, men with large cocks.

I was about to ask him another question, but he stopped me and slid back down the bed. As he repositioned himself between my legs he told me to imagine that he was getting me ready to enjoy the man in the movie and then he started licking me again.

Michael I had an unbelievable orgasm and that's saying a lot because since David and I started watching the Roxanne Hall movies I've had some real whoppers.

After my orgasm was over David got on top of me and started fucking me. While he was fucking me he whispered that he was imagining that the guy in the movie had just finished fucking me and he was now getting slippery seconds. He asked me if I could feel him or if I was so stretched out by the other man's huge cock that I couldn't.

At that moment I was so aroused that I jumped right into the fantasy and told David that after my lover's big cock I really couldn't feel his little penis. As soon as I said it, I regretted it. The last thing I want to do was hurt my wonderful husband's feelings.

Amazingly, I didn't. In fact that answer seemed to excite David even more. He actually thanked me for allowing him to fuck me too and then he went at me with a passion that I'd never before experienced from him. While David was fucking me I had another massive orgasm and when he came he must have pumped a gallon of semen into me. It was the most amazing sex we've ever had.

Michael, I once again apologize for being so graphic, but this is the only way I can accurately describe what happened. I have to talk to someone about this and you're my best friend. Also, in a way this is kind of related to the problems you're having with Jeanne.

This morning, when I thought about what we did last night I got incredibly excited; but it also made me feel ashamed. I'm the lady of two teenagers. I was raised to be a proper lady. I go to church every Sunday. Suddenly my husband and I are fantasizing about me being a slut. Right now I'm feeling terribly confused.

But that's not all. Last night, while we were lying in bed cuddling after we were finished; I sensed that David was sad. I asked him about it. He told me that he was ashamed about what he'd just done. He was certain that I was now disgusted by him. I assured him that I wasn't. I told him that he was the strongest man I knew, that I loved him deeply and we were simply playing with a very exciting fantasy, a fantasy that excited both of us. That made him feel better. We cuddled for a long time before we both finally fell arelax.

Sex certainly can be confusing.

Again, I'm sorry if this email is too graphic. I really wanted to talk to you about it. I didn't know how to do that without being explicit.

Your friend

Ruth


After I finished reading the email I sat back in the motel chair and shook my head. My wife, my flowers, Charles and Edith Montgomery, Jennifer Rawlins and now Ruth and David; it seemed like extra curricular sex was the norm rather than the exception. I laughed to myself, the night Jeanne announced to me that she was planning to have an affair she suggested exactly that. Maybe she was right. Maybe most married women were getting a little extra on the side, or at least fantasizing about it.

Tired from the days drive, I turned off my computer and got into bed. As I tried to fall arelax I thought about Ruth and David. At least they were talking about it first. That had been Jeanne's biggest mistake. She didn't prepare me for it. She just dropped it on me.

I thought about Jeanne. I was still deeply in love with her. I wondered if she was dating. I suspected that she was. It was likely that Ruth talked to Jeanne frequently, so she probably knew. I was afraid to ask. I wasn't yet ready to know for sure.

Unable to relax, I turned my computer back on and watched another Julia Ann movie. In the movie she seduced a man much younger than she was. I wondered if Jeanne was dating college men. Oddly, part of me hoped that she was. Sex with a virile young man would be exciting for her. As I watched the movie I masturbated while I imagined that Jeanne was Julia Ann.

Afterward I felt some remorse, but then I remembered Charles Montgomery telling me that after time he learned to enjoy Edith's affairs because they made her so happy. I loved Jeanne and I wanted her to be happy too. Could I possibly learn to enjoy her affairs? Was that possible? Could I actually reach a point where I was happy when my wife was out on a date with another man? I sensed that I wanted that, but how could I? It seemed to be so very wrong.

Confused about my feelings; but extremely tired, I drifted into an unsettled relax.

From Boise Idaho I drove west to Seattle. It was now early October.

I spent two rainy days in Seattle. The evening I arrived I sent an email to Ruth telling her where I was.

The next morning I received a reply.

Michael

Thank you for the update about your trip. All of us are following you. Yes, I mean all of us. Of course Jamister and I are eager to know where you are and what you're doing, but many others are too. Charles and Edith call me daily to ask if I've heard from you. And yes, Jeanne does too. She calls me every day at lunch time. I also know that after she talks to me she always calls the girls to pass on the information you gave me. Michael all three of them love you very much and they miss you terribly. I miss you too Michael, so does Jamister.

The firm is running well. Jamister is a good manager. He's not as good as you, but he's learning quickly and he's getting the job done. We hired another accountant. We were swamped, we really needed one. He started yesterday. He graduated from college last spring. His name is Bernie Kyle. He's wiry little guy and kind of shy, but he has a wonderful sense of humor. Both Jamister and I like him. We told him that the job is only temporary, but when you return I hope we have enough business to keep him working for the firm.

David and I are still playing our fantasy game. It's a little crazy, but I never imagined that sex could be so much fun.

Be safe and when you're ready come home. We all miss you.

Ruth


I wrote back.


Ruth

I glad to hear that things are going well at the firm. I never doubted that you and Jamister would be able to run the business competently. I'm relieved that you hired another accountant. I'm sure that your work load was overwhelming. If he works out I will do everything I possibly can to retain him after I return.

I'm also pleased to hear that you and David are still enjoying your fantasy game. Adding a little spice to a marriage is healthy.

Let me know if you need anything, otherwise you'll hear from me in a week. Say hello to Jamister, Charles, Edith and David for me. And Ruth, please tell Jeanne and the girls that I love them.

Michael


The following morning I had another email from Ruth.


Michael

After I read your email I called Jeanne and read it to her. When I read the part where you told me to tell her that you loved her she was silent for a moment and then she asked me to read it again. I did. She asked me to read another time. I did. The third time I read it she cried. Michael, Jeanne really does love you.

Oh and yes, she does know about the fantasy game I'm playing with David.

Ruth


I immediately wrote back.


Ruth

Do you know if Jeanne is dating?

Michael


A few minutes later Ruth wrote back.


Michael

Yes she is and while she is having sex on those dates, she adamantly maintains that it hasn't diminished her love for you at all. My conversations with Charles and Edith and the game that David and I are playing are helping me understand what she's saying. Jeanne contends that while we were taught that love and sex are synonymous, it isn't true or at least it doesn't have to be true. Jeanne is now convinced that sex can be a purely physical act and doesn't have to be an expression of love. It can just be fun.

Ruth


The next morning I left Seattle.

After I left Seattle I spent two weeks exploring the Cascade Mountains and the Oregon coast and then I drove south to San Francisco.

I arrived in San Francisco in early November. I found an old motel overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was just above The Cliff House. The Cliff House is an elegant old restaurant on the Pacific beach.

Lincoln Park was directly above my motel. When I explored the park I discovered a small municipal golf course with fabulous views of the Pacific Ocean, San Francisco Bay, The Golden Gate Bridge and downtown San Francisco. The next day I found a golf shop, bought a set of clubs and started playing every day.

Ruth and I continued to exchange emails. While they were mostly just news, ten days after I arrived in San Francisco she sent me one detailing a new development in the sex game she was playing with her husband.


Michael

Last night while David and I were watching one of our Roxanne Hall movies he asked me to tell him about the men I'd been with before we met. He knew that there had been several, but that was all he knew. He wanted to hear details, particularly about the sex. I was reluctant to tell him. I didn't want to hurt him or make him feel jealous. He was persistent, so I finally agreed.

There were actually four men. At first I tried to be vague, but David pestered me for specifics. Michael you have to understand that we were both naked, we were watching a porn movie and David had been going down on me for at least twenty minutes. I was aroused. It also fit in with the game we've now been playing for almost three months. I have to admit that at that moment I actually wanted to tell David every seamy detail about those four other men. They're exciting memories and now the man I loved was asking me to share those memories with him.

I made him lie down on the bed with his head propped up on two pillows so he could still see the movie playing on the television. Once he was settled I wrapped my fingers around his erection and began telling him about the sex that I experienced before we got married.

In an earlier email I mentioned that one of those four men had actually been quite large. His name was Nick Granger. He was the last man I dated before I met David. Nick was tall, handsome and a real stud in bed. He had a cock of porn star proportions, he recovered quickly and he could go for an amazingly long time. He was entertaining out of bed too. Nick was funny and outgoing. Unfortunately he was also lazy, a little arrogant and a notorious womanizer. He was a great boyfriend, but lousy husband material. As soon as I got to know David, I ended my relationship with Nick.

After I started telling David about the sex I had with Nick I could feel him getting even more aroused than he already was. That excited me and without thinking I began eagerly and graphically describing how wonderful the sex with Nick had been. As soon as I realized what I was doing I stopped and tried to apologize to David, but he laughed and told me that there wasn't any reamister to apologize. He was happy that I'd had a chance to experience such an outstanding lover.

At first I was shocked by David's reaction, but we talked about it and as we talked I realized that it fit with game we've been playing. I relaxed, but I still I wanted to make sure that David was happy, so I started sucking his cock. While I was sucking him, David asked me if I ever missed the sex with Nick.

I love my husband. I didn't want to lie to him, but I also didn't want to hurt him so I carefully considered my answer.

I stopped sucking David, but I kept stroking him. As I stroked him, I admitted that I did have fond memories of the sex I had with Nick, but then I quickly explained to David that I loved him and because I loved him the sex I enjoyed with him would always be more satisfying than the sex I'd had with Nick.

David laughed and told me that he understood all of that, but I hadn't answered his question. He then asked it again. Did I ever miss the sex I had with Nick.

I laughed and asked him if he really wanted to know.

He said that he loved me and he was confident that I loved him too; so the fact that I enjoyed and missed the sex that I once had with another man shouldn't really matter.

I couldn't argue with his logic and I wanted to be honest with David so I admitted that there were times when I did think about the fun I used to have with Nick and yes at times I did miss the way he used to fuck me.

I was still a little worried about how David would react to that confession, but he surprised me. He told me to lie back on the bed, spread my legs and watch the movie. As he slipped between my thighs he said that he wanted me to watch the movie and think about the wonderful sex I enjoyed with Nick and then he started kissing and licking me.

Michael it took me about a minute to cum and it was incredible. After I recovered from my orgasm David pulled himself up next to me and asked if he could have slippery seconds. We were both giggling like school kids. Of course I said yes.

Afterward, as we cuddled together David asked me if I was enjoying this game as much as he was. Michael, I can't explain it; but I really am enjoying it. I never dreamed that sex could be so much fun. When I told David that he seemed genuinely happy.

I don't understand what's happening, but I do have to admit that it's fun. Nobody is getting hurt, so I don't see any reamister that we shouldn't be playing this game.

Michael, do you think we're crazy?"

Ruth


I replied immediately.


Ruth

No, I don't think you're crazy. You're both having fun with this game and neither of you is getting pressured to do something you don't want to do. The one thing I've learned from my problem with Jeanne is that communication, honest open communication is essential. Just keep talking and listening to each other and you'll be fine.

Michael


After sending the email I sat back in my chair and shook my head. From what Ruth was telling me it appeared that her husband David really was excited by the idea of her having sex with another man. That was...incredible. David wasn't some sleazy pervert. He was a regular guy. He worked for the city planning department. He was my friend.

It all started with those porn movies, the Roxanne Hall movies they were watching.

I was watching porn movies too. I was watching Julia Ann movies and doing exactly what they were doing. I was imagining that I was watching Jeanne. I was fantasizing about my wife playing with other men. Of course there was a big difference between David's situation and mine. My wife really was playing with other men.

How could that possibly excite me? It was perverted. Yet I had to admit that it did excite me. I watched those damned Julia Ann movies and imagined that I was watching Jeanne. What the fuck was wrong with me? I regularly jacked off while I was imagining my wife enjoying sex with men who weren't me.

I took several deep breaths. I calmed myself. I thought. Was it perverted? If it was, why was it perverted? It was perverted because everyone said it was perverted. That wasn't an adequate explanation. Jeanne didn't think it was perverted. I knew that. She told me that she differentiated between love and sex. She thought sex was fun. She believed that it was something to be freely enjoyed.

While many people would agree that sex was fun; they would add the stipulation that it should only be enjoyed by a husband and wife. Jeanne had challenged that contention. She'd dared to ask why that limitation had been imposed on her and then, failing to find a reamisterable explanation, she'd chosen to act.

Unfortunately she hadn't allowed me to go through the same process that had eventually led her to the conclusion that had caused her to act. I wasn't prepared for her new life style. That was the crux of our current problem. That's why I was now sitting alone in an ocean side San Francisco motel.

That night I didn’t watch a Julia Ann movie and masturbate. As I lay in bed trying to fall arelax I asked myself why. I immediately realized the answer. I was ashamed. I was ashamed of my perverted fantasies.

That realization raised another question. I'd just established that Jeanne had adopted her new life style because she no longer chose to accept the traditional moral dogma that had been instilled in her since she was a little girl. Jeanne was the only permister in this world who's opinion actually mattered to me. If she didn't think her behavior was perverted, why should I? Furthermore, if that was the case; didn't it follow that my accepting or even enjoying her behavior didn't necessarily make me a pervert? While that made sense, I still felt like a pervert.

I thought about it and understood why immediately. I'd also been instilled with a moral code. Real men controlled their wives. They zealously guarded their conjugal rights. Only a wimp would allow his wife to enjoy the pleasure of another man.

I once again had to ask why. When Jeanne had sex with Derek Fischer was I in some way diminished as a man? I'm now quite certain that Jeanne didn't believe that.

The evening that Jeanne rashly announced to me that she was intending to have an affair we did fight. I was shocked by her sudden and unexpected revelation. Angered by my adamant and to her, unreamisterable refusal to even consider what she was telling me Jeanne had lashed out and said things that she has since told me she didn't mean.

While it took me some time, I now understood. Jeanne had foolishly believed that I would listen to her rationale for having an affair, grasp what she was telling me and immediately concur. She hadn't realized that I needed to go through a process similar to the one that she was completing.

Since that night she's realized her mistake and apologized for abruptly dropping this bomb on me. She's also earnestly tried to make me believe that I'm still the man of her dreams and the only man she'll ever love.

If Jeanne doesn't think less of me because she occasionally dates other men why should I be concerned that it in some way diminishes me as a man. Intellectually I now understand that it doesn't. Unfortunately recognizing that and actually accepting it are two distinctly separate issues.

I finally did manage to fall arelax that night, but it was a restless relax. I was still overwhelmed with emotional turmoil.

gh,

wow what a range of emotions in these segments. you also instill what can happen if there is a break down of communication. everyone does not grasp thing the same way that it why it is essential. but I know that you know that. keep going I am loving where this is going.

sallyann

GH - classic GH or should I say "Professor GH", lesmisters on how to and how not do handle desires outside the proverbial norm.

Hello GH

first I want to say that I am a HUGE fan !! I read all your stories on literotica and on this site, I do thinks that you are among the best writers (at least my favorite one !) I read on those 2 sites.
And, although, I love the beginning of that one, something bother me in this story :
In all your stories the women are lovable, you could feel that April, Brenda, roxanne, etc LOVED their husbands. They were cuckold, nature has not been kind with them in the size department, so they had to overcome their cultural references, overcome their fear and accept to be cuckold. But their wifes were kind and tender, they showed them that although cuckold they were loved. Granted the fact that in all those stories there is a huge part of domin/submissive is important, but even in the middle of some 'games' they nearly always took care of their husband,in fact their marriage is their priorities.

When it is not the case, as in 'Louis make a decision', their marriage failed. There is also a good example in 'peter and cindy' from Timmy 27 an other great story, when Cindy goes to far, their marriage failed too.

So in all those stories there is something which allow the husband to live more or less happily as a cuckold, there is a balance in their relationship, where the wife as sexual gratification outside marriage, but there is something for the husband too. And in fact, the women you describe were really were ideal lovely wife (not in a traditionnal way ), I would be give my left hand to be with Kelly !!.

I love the current story and Michael, but at the same time I do not like Jeanne.
She is incredibly selfish and stupid, what I do not like is that I do not have the feeling that she care about Michael, quite the contrary ! He is a burden for her (or at least I feel it that way).
Act speak louder than words and although she say she loves him, all her actions points to the opposite...
Ok she says that she love him, and ? let's make an experience, really, do it : look tenderly at your keyboard, and whisper 'My sweet keyboard, I loved you, you are the most important thing in my life, without you I'am deeply sad and unhappy, you complete me, etc, etc.' Silly ? yes, it is, you do not really care for your keyboard.

Jeanne, risk her marriage for sexual gratification, she do it without care for Michael feeling. In her mail she regret hurting him and apologize, but will not do anything to PROVE her love, to give Michael something helping him to cope with the hurting, the doubts, the offense.

in her mail she wrote she wrote :
"It was a part of the journey that I'd already completed, but you're my partner. We needed to go through the entire journey together and I didn't do that with you. I wish I would have let you teach me how to give a blow job. We could have experimented. "
After that part she could have write :
'My sweet husband, I deeply regret what I have done, take your time to heal, and know that I will NOT continue dating. We will continue that experiment together, and maybe after a time, you will understand that I need to try with someone else and we will goes togethet on a less traditionnal way of loving us"

When Michael thinks about what happenned :
"Since that night she's realized her mistake and apologized for abruptly dropping this bomb on me. She's also earnestly tried to make me believe that I'm still the man of her dreams and the only man she'll ever love. "
She tried, maybe but what did she do ?

We have a saying in France which more or less can be translated as : 'there is not words of love, there is just proof of love'.

As the stories goes, I have the feeling, that Jeanne is a bit sad, maybe she feel alone, but, well too bad for Michael, he will come around.. or not. For now, she will continue her experiments, without care for him and being free of an old geezer.

I know that she wrote she will (or not)save her ass just for him. But I failed to understand why it should matter.
Either sex is something fun, with no relation to love, and it is not really important to keep her ass, or it is important and what she is doing is deeply cruel.

Really, I do not see how she can claim loving him and being incredibly passive about what's happenning. When she wanted to have sex out of her marriage, she was powerfull, she did what she wanted without any consideration, but to save her marriage ? to help the man she is supposed to love and taht she know is hurting ? what does she do ?

As oldbearswitch wrote in his comment :'Thanks for showing a reamistered response from an intelligent and genteel man to one of the most permisteral insults and betrayals a guy can face.'

I also wonder when will Michael will have some experiences, just for him ? He is describe as a nice man, he is rich, he shoudld not have any difficulty to experiment too, maybe with Jennifer.

I start to know how you write and, obviously, Michael and Jeanne will finish together with him as a willing cuckold, after all this is cuckoldplace I am sure I will love your ending, but to be honest, I hope that, maybe, he will find someone for him, I 'd loved to see him with Ruth, she has a heart big enough for Michael and David !

Once again, I want to say that you are a GREAT writer, one I love to read, and I look forward for you to continue that story, and also Jackie and Artie .

I hope you will not be offended by my comment.
Sorry for my bad english, I'am french.

Yet more amazing writing from the Master, I look eagerly for every segment.

well done G.H.

Ajax.

Vazkor -
Your English is excellent for a second language.
A damn sight better than my French.

GH this is one of the best yet. Why? Well vazkor pointed out that jeanne wasn't handling it well. That's why.

Your stories always bring out the best in people. That's lovely, but it's the real fantasy on the story not the sex. It's what we want to be, not usually who we are. Jeanne is more real. More flaws and all. Hence one of the best stories. A good, but flawed permister muddling through, sometimes badly.

I love it.

That said reading your stories made me want to be at my best when my other half was cuckolding me. Sadly that didn't end well, but it helped the process be less painful. And it's one reamister why my wife and I are still together and happier than ever.

I can't describe how much I enjoy this one. Thank you.
Loving Wife, Mother, and Bryan's Slut

Sally ann, Timmy, ajax, mykey and Donna

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words.

The last segment I posted and the segment I'm about to post were very difficult for me to write. I'm afraid I got too wordy. If I did I apologize to everyone. In all of my stories I try to communicate the feelings and emotions my characters are experiencing, but in this story it's even more important. Michael has never had cuckold fantasies. That makes his transition much more difficult, maybe even impossible. I needed to find a way to communicate his thoughts. He's alone on his trip so I can't do it through dialogue which is the vehicle I usually use. Instead I'm doing it through emails, which feels much drier to me. I don't know what else to do.

Anyway, thank you for your support. I love this story, but right now I'm not to confident about the way I'm writing it.


Poorlittlejake

I agree, his English is very good. I'm impressed.


All of you, thank you again for taking the time to comment,

I hope I don't bore you with this next segment

GH

vazkor

Let me begin by complimenting you on your English. I think you do a very nice job of expressing your thoughts.
This is a well thought out comment.

I'm glad to hear that you enjoy my stories. Thank you for telling me.

Now I'm going to try to respond to some of what you said. I wish we could have this discussion over a beer or a glass of wine. That would be fun.

Your not happy with Jeanne. That's understandable. I think her behavior has been far from perfect.

In her defense, and I am going to defend her, she is going through a period of emotional change. Most of us struggle when that happens. In the most recent segments she tells Michael that she did a poor job of preparing him for her plan to have an affair and the her execution of her affair was thoughtless.

I also point out that so far Michael has given her very little opportunity to atone for or even explain her mistakes. Much of the time he refused to talk with her. Of course that was also her fault because she was initially angry with him for overreacting.

They were planning to talk on Saturday and Jeanne was planning to spend quite a bit of time showing Michael just how much she loved him. Unfortunately everything blew up Saturday morning before that could happen.

And then Michael left. Even worse, he made elaborate financial arrangements for Jeanne and the girls. He's obviously going to be gone for a very long time. It's hard for me to fault Jeanne for her decision to continue dating other men while he's gone. Of course I have a soft spot for women who love sex.

Almost all of my stories are about people confronted with permisteral crisis or change. You mentioned that you loved Kelly. I remind you that at the beginning of Courtesan she was absolutely nasty to Timmy.

Four chapters into Sandra and Stevie Sandra actually terminated communication with Stevie. She knew she couldn't stop seeing other men. and she didn't want to continue hurting him.

In Roxanne and Willy Roxanne actually told Willy that she was planning to have another man's baby.

You're right, at the beginning of this story Jeanne appears to be thoughtless. I would suggest that she is also taking care of her own needs. Would it be better if she squashes her desires and slowly grows angry and resentful with Michael? How should two people who want to be together reconcile contradictory desires?

You will see in today's post that Michael and Jeanne are already bending. Michael maybe more than Jeanne, but Jeanne is certainly trying to pay some attention to Michael's needs, at least I tried to show that.

Anyway, thank you for your well thought out comment. I really do wish we could discuss it over takes

GH

The next day I played golf by myself. I needed to be alone. I needed to think.

I missed Jeanne terribly and I believed she missed me. I wanted to go home. I wanted to see Jeanne and I wanted to see my flowers.

I knew that Jeanne was dating other men, but that wasn't bothering me as much anymore. My conversation with Jennifer Rawlins had given me some insight into what was happening with Jeanne. Charles and Edith had helped too. Hearing about Ruth and David's adventures was also helping me. The image of Ruth enjoying sex with another man actually seemed to excite David and Charles had told me that he eventually reached a point where he enjoyed Edith's affairs.

While I was learning to accept Jeanne’s desire to have sex with other men, I still had misgivings. I was afraid that both watching Jeanne get dressed for a date with another man and waiting for her to come home from her date would be difficult for me.

As I thought about those two concerns, I realized that they weren't insurmountable problems. I didn't have to be at home while Jeanne was getting ready for a date and when she was out I could find things to do that would help me pass the time.

Charles told me that before a date Edith would always make sure that he was well taken care of sexually. Jeanne had made a similar promise to me. She'd tried to convince me that this could become a sexual adventure for both of us. She'd pledged that she would make me a very happy and well satisfied man. That would certainly help make her dates more bearable for me.

Actually, I hoped that like Charles I might eventually reach a point where I enjoyed Jeanne’s dates. Watching her get ready for an evening with another man could turn out to be fun. I loved Jeanne. Seeing her giddy with excitement as she anticipated the pleasure she was going to have on her date could make me happy.

Watching the Julia Ann movies and imagining that Jeanne was Julia Ann had also made it clear that like David, picturing my wife with another man excited me. I could easily imagine spending the time Jeanne was out on a date watching Julia Ann movies and fantasizing about what she was doing, especially if I knew I was going to be rewarded with some hot sex when she returned home.

For a brief moment I actually contemplated ending my trip and returning home, but then I realized that I couldn't. Those weren't the real reamisters I had to leave. There were other concerns, concerns that were much more serious. Sadly these concerns weren't my issues, they were Jeanne's and I wasn't even certain that she was aware of them.

Charles was right. I had to stay away. I had to stay away for at least a year. By being away I was providing Jeanne with an opportunity to experience the unfettered life of a single woman, a woman free to be a sexual libertine.

While Jeanne adamantly maintained that she loved me and needed me, I wasn't certain that the love and security she got from me were more important than the thrill she was getting from her sexual adventures. If was going to try to stay with Jeanne I needed to know that she still wanted me. The only way I could do that was to give her an opportunity to experience life without me. If after a year she still eagerly welcomed me home, I believed that I could feel reamisterably confident that she continued to want to maintain a serious relationship with me.

There was another reamister I had to stay away. It was a darker and more unnerving reamister. I feared that Jeanne might fall in love with one of the men she was dating.

My thoughts returned to Jeanne's date with Derek Fischer. Seeing her passionately kissing him on our front lawn and then the next day hearing that she'd held his hand during a romantic dinner at the Kennsington Grill had actually been much more painful for me than catching them naked together in our bed.

I loved Jeanne. Losing her to another man would be devastating; but if she's doing this because she's grown tired of me, I needed to know it. If she's fallen out of love with me I have to give her an opportunity to find someone new. Trying to hang on to a permister who no longer loves you can only lead to a life of unbearable anguish and conflict.

As I left the golf course it occurred to me that there might be a way to get some insight into what Jeanne was currently thinking. As soon as I got back to my motel I emailed Ruth.


Ruth

You mentioned that Jeanne is dating. Please call her and ask what she does on her dates. Don't worry, I understand that she's having sex. That's not what I'm asking about. I'm curious to know what she does before and after the sex.

Michael


As I was about to send the email I realized that there was a risk that Jeanne might say that it was none of my business. I quickly came to the conclusion that a response like that would reveal a great deal about Jeanne's current feelings for me.

I sent the email.

As soon as I got home from golf the next afternoon I turned on my computer and saw that Ruth had replied. I anxiously opened the email


Michael

I called Jeanne. She was elated to hear that you'd asked her this question. She thought she understood why you asked it and she was eager to answer it. She told me about her dinner with Derek Fischer at the Kennsington Grill and that you later asked her how she'd feel if she walked into a romantic restaurant and saw you holding hands with another woman.

She admits that she'd be devastated. I understand. If I saw David holding hands with another woman I'd be devastated too. She told me that when she decided to start having affairs she wasn't looking for romance. You always have and always will provide all the romance she wants. She asked me to remind you that other than you, Derek Fischer was the first man she'd dated in over twenty-seven years. She was a little out of practice and did some things with him simply because that was what she'd learned to do as a single young woman.

She now understands that she's not a single young woman, she's a mature married woman who's deeply in love with her husband. Her dates are about sex and only about sex.

She said that she does occasionally go to a night club with a man for takes and a little dancing and sometimes she'll meet a man in a bar for a cocktail, but most of her dates meet her at your house. They'll have a cocktail in the living room and then they'll retire to Tricia's old bedroom for sex. She hopes you can understand that the evenings are more fun if she and her date take a little time to talk and flirt with each other. A little casual conversation over a cocktail or an hour or two spent dancing in a night club makes the sex much more enjoyable for Jeanne.

Michael, she asked me to be sure to tell you that she does kiss her dates. She doesn't want to lie to you or mislead you. The kisses don't mean anything, they're not intended to be romantic. Kissing is just an important part of sexual foreplay for her.

She hopes that you're not upset because she's entertaining men in your house. She's very concerned about how you feel about that. She explained that motels are inconvenient and seem like an unnecessary expense. She wants to assure you that when she's done playing with one of her dates he always goes home. You're the only man who will ever relax with her. She also asked me to tell you that she fully understands the gravity of the mistake she made that Saturday morning with Derek Fischer. She will never again entertain a man in a bedroom she shares with you.

Michael, Jeanne really does love you and she's very concerned about your feelings.

Ruth


I wrote back.


Ruth

Please read this to Jeanne.

Jeanne I understand. Of course you have to be friendly with your dates. Cold dispassionate sex wouldn't be much fun. I'm happy to hear that some of your men friends are taking you dancing. I remember how much you used to love dancing when we were first married. I'm glad you're having a good time.

I've had time to think and I'm beginning to understand your assertion that sex doesn't have to be an expression of love. It can simply be a pleasurable activity enjoyed by two adults, much like playing tennis or golf. If you were playing tennis with a man you would certainly be friendly and talk casually before and after your match. You might even go out for a take or ice cream after your match, but you probably wouldn't kiss or hold hands while you were sitting in the bar or ice cream store.

While I am beginning to understand that what you're doing isn't necessarily a threat to our relationship, I have to admit that when I think about what you're doing I still experience occasional periods of jealousy. You're going to have to be patient with me.

It may seem strange to you, but when I think about your brief affair with Derek Fischer the images of him kissing you and you holding his hand during dinner at the Kennsington grill are much more disturbing than the memory of seeing you in bed with him naked.

That wasn't an attempt to make you feel guilty about what you did. I understand and accept your explanation of why it happened. It was your first date with a man other than me in over twenty-seven years. You were nervous and excited. Of course you resorted to dating behaviors that you developed when you were an unmarried young woman.

I only told you that so that you would understand that romantic involvement is much scarier for me than physical involvement. That said, I do realize that the trappings of romance are an important part of sexual foreplay. Of course you're going to kiss your dates. When you leave a night club to go to our house, I hope your date has his arm around. I know how much you enjoy that. I only ask that you be careful. I fear that we may be playing a dangerous game.

I agree with you, motels are an inconvenience and a needless expense. Don't worry, I don't have any objections to your entertaining your dates in our house. It actually makes good sense. I will admit that I was happy to hear that you're not letting your dates spend the night with you. I was also pleased to learn that your using Tricia's old room. I'm sure she doesn't mind.

I actually have a suggestion. It may seem like a strange suggestion for a husband to make to his wife, but it I think it's a good idea so I'm going to go ahead and make it. Why don't you turn Tricia's old room into your play room. I doubt that Tricia would object, in fact I suspect that she'd think it was a good idea. We still have a little money that I held in reserve when I created the trust funds. I could easily give you a budget of ten thousand dollars for the remodeling. That would allow you to have the room repainted and re-carpeted, buy some new furniture and maybe even purchase several erotic prints for the walls. I think it would be fun. You can also look at it as my way of thanking your for not entertaining your dates in our bedroom. I really do appreciate that.

Jeanne, I love you. I miss you. I think about you constantly. I look forward to the day we can once again be together. Give my love to the girls for me.

Love

Michael


Ruth

Thank you for passing this on and thank you for acting as a go between for Jeanne and me.

Michael


Realizing that with this email I was telling Jeanne that I was now willing to accept her new life style I took a deep breath and clicked on the send button.

As soon as that was done I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes. After a moment I realized that I was smiling. I'd just taken a major step towards rebuilding my relationship with my wife.

My happiness waned as I realized that it would still be many months before I could return home. Jeanne has to have an opportunity to discover exactly how she wants to live her new life. Even more important she has to decide whether or not there's a place for me in that new life. The only way I know how to do that is to make her experience life without me. While her answers to the questions I asked her today gave me hope, I knew that she needed time before she would know for sure.

I'm sorry, tonight I'm a little frustrated. The last two segments of this story have been difficult to write. I worked and I managed to complete them, but I had to work hard to do it and I'm feeling a bit insecure about what I produced.

Right now I'm posting "Jackie and Artie" at Literotica. The marks started out low, but they are improving rapidly. That's normal at Literotica. The trolls come out early.

Most of the emails, about eighty per cent, are very positive. I'm getting between thirty and forty a day. There are a small number of really nasty emails, maybe five percent.

Today a troll sent me the same email ten times. "I hope you have youngren because I want to see them die. I hope you have a wife because I want to see her die. I hope you have friends because I want to see all of them die. I hope you live because I want to see you in pain."

My spelling and grammar are better than his, but you get the gist.

That email bothered me, not because of the threat. He really has to be a rather pathetic permister, but because of the incredible anger that has to be inside this permister.

I can live with the nasty emails. They're unpleasant, but they're easy to ignore.

It's the other fifteen percent of the emails I get that bother me. They generally go something like this; I love your writing. I read all of your stories, but why did you make Jackie so mean? and then the writer goes on to tell me what he thinks Jackie should have done.

Of course I also get an equal number from the opposite position. Why is Jackie being so nice to Artie? He's a slave, she should put him in his place.

Tonight I answered an email from Literotica with this message:

I don't mean to be rude, but you're being rude. I write my stories because they suit me. I like them. You're not me. What you want to read may not exactly coincide with what I like. That was why I chose to start writing. I couldn't find stories that perfectly fit my fantasies so I began creating them myself.


No one pays me to write. I do it because I enjoy it and that's the only reamister. If my stories don't suit you, that's just the way it is.

I would suggest that you do have an option. Open your word processor and start writing, but be prepared. When you post your story you're going to get lots of emails from people telling you how you should have written it.


And then you might understand.


Right now I think it might be a very long time before I'm willing to write again.


GH

gh,

this bothers me also. you spent your time writing these stories but there is always someone who thinks it

should this way or that. I remember someone saying one time....there are those who do...and there are those

that criticize..... if there were never those who do then we would still be stuck in the stone age. I am not

sure what I would do if I were in your shoes. I may just set up an e-mail account and let all the responses go

into cyber space.

there is also one other thing I think I know. that you enjoy writing these stories. it is a great creative outlet for

you and would be a shame if you did not do it anymore. I know I would be sad. please remember that 80% of

the mail you get back is very positive. I know that every professional athlete would take 8 out of 10 every time.

just my 2 cents my friend. I will understand whatever you do.


sallyann

Literotica abounds with trolls who read Loving Wives stories, then take exception because the wives, are unfaithful. They don't seem to recognise that this tends to be the theme of this genre, and that the stories are just fiction. Most of these trolls have failed to grasp the fact that there is a simple solution; that if they don't like such stories, don't read them. No, in their eyes it is much better to read the story and fire off a thoroughly nasty anonymous post to the author.

I've written a few stories under my alter ego, Octavian, and was surprised at the level of vitriol expressed in some of the negative comments. I was told that whilst my writing was good they were giving me the lowest score because they did not like the Loving Wives theme. Another correspondent expressed the hope that I break my wrist and was thus unable to write anymore. I just think of them as morons.

Oscar Wilde once said, "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
And, "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900), "What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another permister lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?"

And, "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

And finally, "Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from." Jodie Foster.

Anyone who critiques your wonderful writing needs to quit reading anyone else's work and start writing their own.

Please don't let the semi-literate get to you. Your effort is appreciated more than you will ever know. It has brought me many great fantasies, as well as given me a lot of thoughtful insight.

Thank you again.
Loving Wife, Mother, and Bryan's Slut

GH, I'm sorry to hear that you are upset about the feedback from some of the morons at lit. But I also understand. I posted "Reflections" on 'onlinestories' and got some nasty feed back as well as some positive.

Clearly the majority of the readers enjoy your story and you have huge fan base right here.

I understand your difficulties with the last couple of segments because they differ from your usual way of expressing yourself. I think that you did a great job. Like all your stories this is full of insights into the human psyche. It would be a shame if you decide to quit.

Take a break, relax, ignore the naysayers and come back to us when you are ready.

You have way too many fans to let a few idiots, actually wanted to say A-Hole upset you.

As long as you keep writing, we will keep reading. Heck most of us check for story updates daily!

Thanks for all the great stories.

you really is amazing..........

Hello GH,


First, about some of the nasty mails you got, other people have already describe my feeling:just ignore them, they do not deserve your attention. If some guys send you too many hateful e-mail, declare it as a spam !!
I have already wrote how much I loved your work, and, obviously I am not alone.


About your difficulties to continue that story : IMHO it is a great story. In my previous comment I explain why I do not like Jeanne, that she does not make enough to show her love. But that's really the only thing that bother me it is otherwise a really good story. And you are right, Kelly is my favorite among hour female characters, and she was clearly awfull. Then my POV what did Jeanne and the way she did it is worse, but once again, it just a matter of the things I do not like, we all have our own limits and they are clearly differents for each of us.
It's seems logical that you have some difficulties, you are not in your comfort zone : In your previous stories your heroes was willing cuckold AND submissive, so it help greatly their relationship with their wives.
Maybe I'am wrong but Michael does not seem submissive, maybe he will change, maybe not, maybe they will have an open mariage, maybe (but probably no) a divorce. That's your privilege as a writer to direct the evolution of your stories and the changes in your characters. I or other readers may prefer that it evolve in such or such direction but you are the only one to decide.
To be honest I really like that story BECAUSE it is differrent from your other ones, It's certainly harder to write with a 'stronger' male characters in the more usual acceptation of the world( not that Artie or Timmy are weak !!). But it makes for an interesting story.

Once again, please, ignore the assholes who write hate mails, and take comfort in the fact that you have a huge fan base.
Who knows, maybe one day if you come to France, we will have that beer together and talks about your fantastic stories ;)

Goodhusband. Please ignore the idiots who offer nothing but negativity. May I offer you another quote?
'There has never been statue built to a critic' Sibelius.