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MY JOURNAL #6 May 20, 19 ENTERED AUG, 1992

"BLACK TUESDAY AND "SATURDAY"

At 38 yrs old, after four kids, and twenty years of marriage I�m still in great shape, 5� 8" 140lbs, red hair, and smooth creamy white skin and light pink nipples.

I am currently working as a Cocktail Lounge Hostess at the Holiday Inn Speedway, IN. During the race mouth of May the Cocktail waitress uniforms are very festive, also, very provocative. As hostess, it was necessary to be as festive and provocative as the waitresses to keep the theme of the lounge. I wore a short one-piece wrap around dress, with a very low cut neck, with one button and a tie waist sash. Doing what it was meant to do, show off a lot of cleavage and leg. Most of us "girls" keep a few things in our lockers to change into in the event we might want to go out if we get off early.

It was Tuesday night, I have to go to work, my car won�t start, and Lee isn�t home from work yet. I took a cab to work, and "hoped" to find a ride home, if not then I will call and have him pick me up. The night was uneventful, and it was getting close to time for me to get off work.

My periods had become irregular, and I was having problems with my BC pills. So our Dr. had taken me off the birth control pills and put me on a have called Provara to regulate my cycle. The primary use for Provara though is to enhance fertility in a woman. I had decided we would take a break from this (alternative) life style as the kids were getting older, and required more of our time. Lee was so happy that I�d be all his again that he even agreed to have a vasectomy. I had told all my lovers I was going to stop cheating, and be faithful to my husband. So, none of old my lovers had been in for several weeks now, and it looked like I would have to call Lee to come and get me.

I went to the bar and started to call him, Len the Head of Security for the Indianapolis district was sitting there takeing. We normally only saw him once or twice a week. And on occasion some of us girls would buy him a take. I had always liked Len, so I walked over and stood beside him just to say hi, and ask how he had been. Well tonight, he was in a talkative mood, so I bought him a take and sat down with him. Seems his wife had found another man, had already left him, and was going to file for divorce. He told me she had been gone for three weeks. I asked why he hadn�t mentioned it before now. He said he didn�t want to bother anyone with his problems.

I had never thought of Len in a sexual way, in fact, I had never thought of him at all. And the sad part is, that I don�t know why, because I love big men, and Len is a BIG man. I guess because I always had plenty of dates lined up with my regular lovers. He is happily married and just a sweet lovable teddy bear we worked with. Len is a black, I mean he is coal black, forty four year old, perfect specimen of manhood. He is very handsome, 6�4" about 280 lbs of solid muscle, with the sexiest deep blue eyes.

He had played football in college, still worked out daily and hadn't lost his form, his whole body looked as if it were chiseled from black steel. He was also a very conservative, a preppy dresser, and always wore a blazer and tie when working. I suppose the most surprising thing about this man though, for his size, and all that he was, Len was the mildest mannered man I think I had ever met, extremely polite, never pushy and in fact, at times he seemed even timid.

Anyway we talked, (he talked) for almost an hour and I listened. I looked at my watch and told him my car was not running tonight, and that I had to call Lee to come and get me. Len said he would be more than glad to take me home, since he wasn�t in any hurry to get home anyway. I told Len I would really appreciate it, that way I wouldn�t have to wake Lee. I asked him to give me a few minutes, my legs and feet were *******ing me, so I went into the little girl�s room to take off my panty hose and hi heels, and put on my flats, When I left the little girls room I was wearing only the dress, panties and shoes. But I only had a thirty-minute ride home, so my bare white legs were no problem. Wouldn�t have been anyway, I was only going to be with Len. Little did I know what was in store for me this night?

When I came back into the lounge Len had already removed his blazer and tie. As we left the lounge he put them in the back of his new custom van, and we headed for my house. I thought Len was driving rather slowly, and then it dawned on me "duh". As we drove under the streetlights, the inside of the van was well lighted. Len was looking at my bare white legs, and down the top of my open dress, since I wasn�t wearing a bra, there was a lot of white flesh exposed for his viewing pleasure. And I could feel his sexy blue eyes making love to every inch of it. I knew he was becoming quite excited looking at me, as we passed under the streetlights I could see an impressive bulge that looked like a two inch thick pipe running about 4" down his pant leg, and there was no mistaking what that was, but I�d always heard how large black men were, and four inches is not large to me.

I love to tease, and here I was with the opportunity to exercise my womanly power for a few more minutes before the night was over. I thought, "what the hell", the tease in me took over, I had always liked Len, so hell why not let him have a little pleasure looking at something he wasn�t going to have anyway. And besides, I needed to see if I could make his budge any bigger. Up until now Len had always been a man I associated with at work. All of a sudden, with in minutes, Len the permister had just become a thing, a huge beautiful "BLACK MAN". I had never flirted or teased a black man before, I had never had a desire to. But I had him all to myself now and I sure was going to work on this one. This was my chance to see if what they say about black men being so big is true, and I was going to do my damnedest to make this black man hard for me before he got me home so I could find out.

I turned in the seat to face him while we were talking, as I turned I leaned back against the door. I had already untied the waist sash on my dress, as I leaned back, I unbuttoned the only button on my dress letting it open a little more, exposing most of my tummy, and just the round folds of my little 34b bare breasts. I acted as though I hadn�t noticed, and keeping one foot on the floor I folded one leg up on the seat, parting my legs and allowing the skirt to open and slide off my one leg, giving him a more inviting view. I knew when we passed under the next street light, he would be able to see my smooth white inner thighs all the way up to my light blue panties. And all I would have to do would be sit here and watch him growing.

Teasing him was making that pipe in his trousers become "very" impressive now, and watching it growing was beginning to cause a growing in me. I began to have all kinds of thoughts I had never had before about this big "BLACK" thing sitting next to me. As I watched his bulge growing a little with each streetlight we passed, it had grown to about eight inches down his leg now, and looked like it had an apple on the end of it. It looked so damn big.

I found myself looking all of him over now, my eyes stopped at his large hands. I began to wonder what those long thick beautiful fingers would feel like caressing my bare white flesh. I wondered how they would look rubbing and massaging my bare white thighs. Then I realized, the way I was sitting, my bare white smooth thighs were close enough for Len to reach over and massage. I was inviting the touch of those lovely hands. I was afraid any minute I would feel his soft warm hand on the white smooth skin I was so brazenly offering him, or maybe, I was afraid I wouldn�t. I wondered what would I do right now if he were to reach out with his beautiful hand and start caressing the white smooth leg I had laying on the seat so close to him. I know now, that I would have parted my legs further, laid my head back, closed my eyes, and yielded myself to his touch. I could feel the moisture growing between my legs, and my panties getting really warm and damp. But I just couldn�t remove my invitation to him, I wanted him to touch me now.

I had been raised in a small town where black and white did not socialize, and in fact only had eight blacks in our high school. I wasn�t prejudice, but I had never wanted, or even thought of being with a black man. I had heard some of the girls in the lounge talk about how handsome Len was, and how they would love to try him. But we all thought he was happily married, and evidently he was, until now. And yes I had heard all the hyped up stories about the big bad black man with his mammoth tool enslaving all his white girls.

But I guess I had been too naive to even think of him that way. Now here I was, in the van with him at two am, all alone, half-naked, him making love to my bare flesh with his lovely eyes, and I�m getting damp, no, I was getting wet. I had known Len for over a year, and never felt like this when he was around me. But I was beginning to feel a lot of things right now that I had never felt before.

When we arrived at my house, Len pulled the van to the curbside of the house under the streetlight. I normally try to have my lovers� park there when they bring me home. Lee can watch out of our bedroom window that overlooks the street. But Len had done it with out me telling him. Before I was aware, Len was opening the door for me. I got out very slowly, giving him a good slow show of my pretty long white bare legs as I slid off the seat. When I stood up, my face was just inches from Len�s chest. I am a tall woman, but I had to look up at him. I said "thanks Len, I really appreciate the ride". He looked down at me for a minute, then said, "Karen , how about a cup of coffee, before I go home. I could really use your company tonight?" I told him that Lee and the kids were all arelax and I didn�t want to take a chance of waking them.

We stood there for what seemed like hours not saying anything or moving, actually it was only seconds. He was thinking of what he wanted to do with me right then, and I was waiting on him to do it. I knew I should have been saying good night and thanks again and then running into the house, but my mouth wouldn�t open, and my feet wouldn�t move.

Finally he said "it has been over three weeks since I�ve felt a woman�s in my arms, or kissed a woman". "Looking at your lovely inviting lips, I want to taste those sweet ripe full lips of yours, would you kiss me Karen "? He had a very deep voice that touches a woman�s soul, and being the woman I am, he was massaging the bottom of mine.

My knees became weak, my nipples started stinging I could feel them getting firmer against my dress, and my breath was becoming short. I had never kissed a black man before, but I knew in the next few minutes this big beautiful man standing in front of me was going to change that. A lot of times other lovers had let me out, and kissed me good night, but they were all white. Right now that didn�t matter, I just stood there looking up into his handsome face, waiting, to feel Len pressing those beautiful full black lips against mine. I was so wet and right now, I wanted my first taste of a black flesh.

Then I felt the soft warm flesh of his strong hands sliding under my unbuttoned dress, opening it as he was pulling me to him, and his warm sweet breath in my hair as he whispered softly in my ear, "kiss me Karen, now". I put my arms around his neck, turned my face up, pulled him down to me. He was no longer a thing. He was now Len a beautiful black man that had my soul on fire. I was not letting Len kiss me, I was kissing him. I pressed my lips fully against his, and myself against his hard beautiful body.

With his strong muscular arms around me, he pulled me up tight against him. Some how with out me realizing it, he had unbuttoned and opened his shirt, and my bare hard nipples were being pressed against his warm black skin, my nipples were so hot, and stinging so badly I knew they were going to ignite any second. The womanly power was now gone from this smart assed teasing little slut of thirty minutes ago. And my flesh had become a bundle of wanton surrender to this black man�s touch.

I didn�t have to wonder any more, as his large black hands began to massage and explore the bare flesh of my back. I felt his tongue pressing against my lips, I wanted him to taste me, I wanted to taste him, and I wanted him inside me. I parted my lips to grant his tongue passage to explore my hungry wet mouth. His tongue was so wet, so long, and so thick I thought he was going to go down into my throat. He was filling my mouth and I began to suck and nibble on his tongue feeling his huge cock stirring against my belly, getting larger and harder, for me.

I had succeeded; I had made him hard for me by the time he got me home. And it was true, black men�s cocks are huge. Now that I had made this black man�s cock so huge, so hard, what was I going to do with it? What was he going to do with it? He was pulling all my strings now. I hadn�t thought about that earlier. But my body sure had, my glands were working over time pumping my lubricating juices into the area that should be receiving my accomplishment any minute. I was so wet, I just knew he could smell the desire burning in me.

This was so different, this big beautiful black man holding me in his arms, his large hands on my bare flesh only inches away from my naked breasts, oh how I wished he would move his hands those few inches and relieve the hard nipples crying for the touch of his gentle black fingers.

I don�t know how long he kissed me, I didn�t care, I didn�t want him to stop kissing me, I didn�t want him to stop holding me in his arms, and I made no effort to pull away from him. I didn�t know what was happening to me, I had never been this much out of control with any other man and that even includes David and Bill, but Len was stirring emotions that I never knew existed in me. I kept my arms around his neck and my naked white breasts pressed against his warm smooth black flesh as I kissed his neck and nibred softly on his ear.

He looked into my eyes and said, "Karen , those are the sweetest lips I�ve ever tasted, and I�m going to have a lot more of them". His words were soft, and though he was whispering his soft husky voice was like thunder in my ear, he was telling me that his tongue was only the first penetration I was going to know from him. And that I was in the arms of the man that would soon be giving me my first taste of black sex. As he spoke, he was still pressing against my belly, the long thick cock I knew he would be using when he began to teach me how to love a black man.

I was so hot my heart was pounding in my chest. I began to tremble in his arms I felt the heat moving into my thighs, and a wet river flowing into my panties. My lesmisters were already beginning and Len was giving me the first of many wonderful orgasms he would be bringing me to. I couldn�t help myself, I couldn�t control my body any longer, and I couldn�t hide it from him, I didn�t even want to hide it from him now. He felt my body shuddering and my hard naked nipples squirming against his warm bare chest. I felt his warm soft hands sliding down my back hooking them under my panty elastic and sliding them down. His warm soft hands were cupping and massaging my little bare butt as he pulled me tighter pressing and rubbing his huge full firm manhood against my belly.

Nibbling on my ear, he whispered only ten little words that I will never forget, "yeah baby let it go, give it all to me". I was trembling, shaking and searching for his sweet lips, I wanted his tongue back inside me. My belly started pushing and grinding against him as I moaned his name, I was giving it all to him now. I was having my first orgasm by a black man, and I was soaking my panties so full, that my own juices had filled my panties and were now starting to run down my naked thighs. My legs were gone, and I felt like I was going to faint, I would have fallen had he not been holding me so tightly in his strong arms.

If he had held me in his arms one more, minute, or he had just kissed me again, and god I wanted him to. I wanted him to lay me back on the seat, pull my panties off, spread my legs, and bury his throbbing cock inside me right then, under the streetlight, in front of my house, at 2:30am.

But instead, he slowly took his arms from around me, as he did, he moved his wonderful soft hands that few inches, and slid them gently and very slowly, letting his hot fingers caress the sides and bottom of my naked breasts. His hands paused and I felt another surge of tremors running through me and into my belly. His fingers were pinching the soft flesh of my breasts so hard it hurt.

My nipples were on fire, but he wouldn�t touch them. Len was bruising my white breasts to send my husband a message that another man had just had his way with his wife, and would be claiming the rest of her soon. I knew in my heart he right, because I was standing there trembling and moaning softly, wanting him to mark me as he desired. He whispered in my ear, "when you are ready little girl, I will make a true woman of you." Little did he know, this little girl was ready right then? But looking back now, he knew. .

Then, he said something that sent little shock waves of excitement through me, "your panties are soaking wet aren�t they Karen ?" I told him "yes". He asked me, "who are they wet for Karen ?" I told him, "you Len." "Then they belong to me now don�t they?" "Take them off and give them to me." I was trembling so badly I didn�t think I could stand much longer, and my juices were flowing steady now.

But trembling and in a voice so shaky I almost couldn�t understand myself, I told him, "No, they are so wet for you, and they are your�s, but Len, if you want them, I want you to take them off me." His hands slid down my sides, he hooked his thumbs in my panties again. Then his large black hands rubbed my butt as he slid them down my legs getting on his knees in front of me. I raised one foot, then the other allowing Len collect my, his soaking wet panties as a seal for the promises I had just made him. His wonderful warm hands were holding my naked little butt and I felt his warm lips caressing my bare stomach he said, "Karen, I�m going to put my black baby inside that sweet belly, you know that don�t you?" I couldn�t say a word, but I knew he was certainly going to try, and I knew he would do about anything he wanted to me now.

Len stood up, putting my panties to his face, he licked the wet crouch, then took a deep sniff, and put them in his pocket, and smiling he said, "Now go to your husband. I ran up to the porch, and in the door, my knees were so weak I didn�t know if I would even make it. The door was unlocked; I stepped in shut it behind me, and turned the light on. Just as I stepped in, Lee came down stairs, stopped and smiled at me. I was so weak, I just leaned against the door, Lee looked at me for a minute, and came over took me in his arms and kissed me gently, lovingly. He whispered in my ear, "honey, I was awake and looking out the bedroom window, I saw you. You were lovely, are you ok"? I put my arms around his neck (mostly to hold me up, my legs were still gone), and told him "yes I am fine, but lets go to bed now".

I stripped (what little I still had on) and climbed into bed beside Lee, he pulled me close, kissed me, and put his hand between my legs and felt the excitement that Len had put there. Lee told me he thought I might need a ride home since my car was there when he got home and he had just gotten up.