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bullinphoenix
Member
14
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 11:13:49
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Do any of you have any tips on making women submissive/ humiliating them and so forth? My gf told me that she wants me to completely dominate her in the bedroom, the only thing is that I don't really know what to do. Of course tying her up is a start, but I think complete domination will come from me mentally "fucking" her much more than just physically tying her. Plus she told me that she was kinkier than I was and I hate losing a challenge!
This seems like the right forum to ask  , so do you guys have any ideas or tips on how I might dominate her completely?
Thanks
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Rodger
Member
368
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 11:38:21
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Well it is not too difficult, you just need to get her into situation where she is doing what you want.
So you need to give her directions, both verbal and non verbal and make sure that what is happening is to suit you and what you want.
Tying her up might be fun sometimes, but you are right, the best form of domination occurs when she just submits to what you want.
However in saying that, I have always found that a good soft blindfold can be fun. Once it is on her, she really is there just as your plaything!
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numnut
Member
47
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 11:52:47
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Slap the bitch ,make her suck you cock. hold her hair gently at the back of her head until she runs out of breath,ram dick down her throat until she gags and let her come up for air and slap her again calling her you fucking slut .
Repeat
Repeat and then pull her head back and kiss her with passion, tell her how good she is doing.
repeat untill stuggle subsides, turn her over(do not release hair) and slam your cock hard into her snatch while pushing her face down (gently from your hold at back of head)
Wack arse and ride that fucking slut home
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redimac
Member
1555
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 15:21:58
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organism denial....
Joe Preston
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Scarf
Member
2535
Pictures: 16
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 15:25:41
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Quoting: redimac organism denial....
Tried that..only makes her a Bitch!
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numnut
Member
47
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 15:33:06
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Quoting: Scarf Tried that..only makes her a Bitch!
Quoting: numnut Slap the bitch
Scarf
If you were a woman .....
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redimac
Member
1555
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 19:26:01
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Scarf
That's when you buck up and become dom.
Joe Preston
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Scarf
Member
2535
Pictures: 16
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# Posted: 19 Dec 2007 20:18:06
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I can do that
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bullinphoenix
Member
14
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# Posted: 20 Dec 2007 04:36:25
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These seem like really good ideas, what about ideas on how to punish her?
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redimac
Member
1555
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# Posted: 20 Dec 2007 17:02:13
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Pretty variable depending on what tricks her trigger...
Joe Preston
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bullinphoenix
Member
14
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# Posted: 21 Dec 2007 05:02:08
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Well, maybe I just have lack of imagination, or maybe I just haven't done this kind of thing enough, but all I can think of is spanking?
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redimac
Member
1555
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# Posted: 21 Dec 2007 15:58:39
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You might start w/ some gorean positions.
Joe Preston
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Sh1n3r
Member
62
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# Posted: 21 Dec 2007 17:33:08
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You really should try a forum like bondage.com for this kind of info - although they are having a technical problem and are down for a few days at present. My own dominant needs center on sexual control, cock fetishism/worship, personality modification, clothing restriction (kinky dress code for her, at home and while out) and domestic rules and rituals.
With my current partner, I cannot get the clothing restriction or domestic rules and rituals. She feels too vulnerable around issues of personal appearance, and she is a really in-the-moment, spontaneous person who just doesn't "get" ritual. We have a few little rituals - her goodbye kiss before work in the morning is generally a "proper" kiss, involving her lips and my hips only, as it were. But we do this in waves, and we try to keep it real and not force it too much. With another girl, I might insist on absolute regularity, but with this one I am happy to work with her more spontaneous nature. My girl would rather be spontaneously ravaged and aggressed than learn a devotional creed about her role as a cock slave.
Aside from the ritual, however, cock focus and cock worship generally works well with her. This goes along with her concrete way of thinking - cock worship give our D/s play a material focus that is more "real" than rules and codes. She is also a "pleaser" as a bottom, she want to please me and gain my approval. For discipline all I really have to do is declare what would please me, and it will happen. She is willing to have me define her as a creature with only one purpose in life, which is to serve the cock. This is not a full-time identity for her, but a "play" identity for when she is feeling "bottomy". Most of the time our relationship is vanilla/companionate. When she bottoms, however, she is totally sincere in accepting that cockslave identity, since it is what pleases me.
You sound like you may have more of a "bratty" bottom than an approval-seeker. Bratty bottoms are a challenge. Some Doms think that if they get the force and structure they need, they will stop being bratty, but some brat bottoms say they actually need that journey from starting out bratty (testing the Dom) to being disciplined. They need to undergo that arc over and over again. This is a huge topic of discussion on bondage.com.
So anyway, you have to understand your own dominant needs, and her submissive needs, plus where the overlap is. Your creativity must operate within those constraints, or it won't work. If I had a more rules-oriented girl, I'd be more 24/7 in my Dominion over her, but that isn't the reality of my situation. If my girl was not so approval-dependent, I would actually use rejection and deprivation as discipline tools, but she gets so approval-oriented when she's bottoming that such discipline would destroy her.
I'd love to blindfold her, cuff her ankles and wrists, and make her stand in a corner until she was ready to debase herself as my total slut slave. I'd love to cage her, cover the cage with a blanket and let her reflect on her failures to be devotional enough. But these dep-punishment fantasies of mine involve her subbing out and becoming more devoted through her obedience to my rule, and with my current girl that is not what would happen inside her mind. It's not the right punishment for her.
Although it might be fun to have some punishment-play, there really is no need for it in our current dynamic. She will do what she is told, at any given moment. She simply will not be able to perform longer-term rule-defined submissive tasks, however. It can only be in a given moment.
If your girlfriend is the high-desire kinkster, and if she is driving this, first of all, know that you are not alone, and that the submissive or bottoming partner is often the driver of the exploration. Just look at this board! The bottoms are very often hungrier than the tops. Use this. If she is hungry for domination, indicate that maybe you might be convinced to offer her something... maybe... then force her to make an offer of a scene or activity that you might find interesting.
Next, try to mine her fantasies for ideas of power and punishment that you connect with. You are in charge, so why should you do all the work? Make her suggest and offer things, scenes and ideas for how she can be controlled and punished. You are under no obligation to do anything she suggests, but something she says may appeal to you.
Check out BDSM porn - especially written stories (the Gor series was mentioned, and my own Dominant desires are very much along Gorean lines, obviously) - and online groups like b.com (shorthand for bondage.com). Look for punishment or control ideas that turn you on, that you think might also work with your girl, and discuss them with her or try them out. Not all of them will work, so be prepared for a mix of success and failure, and keep communicating as a couple about all of it!
Most of all, maintain your sense of humour about all of this. I find that I can only be big in my Dominance if I am also bigger than my Dominance - if I have a sense of self and perspective that is larger, so that my Dominance becomes only one aspect of my self. When you have that, your sub can trust that you are getting your own Dominant needs met, but that you are also monitoring the whole scene from a more solid footing that is outside the whole D/s scene. That greater trust allows them to bottom more completely, resulting in more satisfying play for you both.
Good luck, be strong, communicate, relax and keep it real. If you get that foundation laid first, then ideas for ways of playing should just start bubbling up.
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PalmCoastCouple
Member
252
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# Posted: 21 Dec 2007 22:24:01
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Sh1 is right on the money... in stark contrast to the first reply that "it's easy". It ISN'T easy to do right. It takes a variety of talents to pull it all together and make it work well for everyone. We always laugh at the "Kneel Bitch!" types that think D/s is simply ordering a woman around.
Also... you don't "make a woman submissive". Believe it or not, women are people too. They come in all flavors and types. Some have a submissive personality. Others will take your riding crop and shove it up your ass if you expect their submission.
If someone has a submissive side, it takes a lot of time and effort to cultivate it, working with them to unlock those feelings, bring it out, find their limits, develop a synergistic Dom/sub relationship, etc.
Reading the BDSM sites is a place to start. Alt.com has some insightful sources, too. Bondage.com is surely related, but remember bondage and D/s are actually different. There are plenty of D/s relationships that don't play with bondage. Good luck!
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1. the husband of an unfaithful wife. NOTE - It DOES NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, sissyboy, crossdresser, cocksucker, scat eater, piss drinker, beastiality, incest or pedophilia.
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PalmCoastCouple
Member
252
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# Posted: 21 Dec 2007 22:24:14 · Edited by: PalmCoastCouple
Reply
duplicate deleted by poster
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1. the husband of an unfaithful wife. NOTE - It DOES NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, sissyboy, crossdresser, cocksucker, scat eater, piss drinker, beastiality, incest or pedophilia.
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PalmCoastCouple
Member
252
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# Posted: 21 Dec 2007 22:27:12 · Edited by: PalmCoastCouple
Reply
Few pics for encouragement!
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1. the husband of an unfaithful wife. NOTE - It DOES NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, sissyboy, crossdresser, cocksucker, scat eater, piss drinker, beastiality, incest or pedophilia.
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bullinphoenix
Member
14
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# Posted: 22 Dec 2007 03:41:08
Reply
I really appreciate y'alls help! I will certainly check out those sites...
haha and it's nice to know people with intelligence are interested in the cuck fetish too 
Thanks again!
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nimrod
Member
52
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# Posted: 23 Dec 2007 06:53:45
Reply
Thanks for the thread bullinphoenix
I am a cuck thinking of becomming a bull, and I would like to know some tricks to making women submisive.
Can you make any woman submisive or is it only a particular type of woman that can be submisive?
Thanks
what waz i thinking?
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Piltdown
Member
11
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# Posted: 25 Dec 2007 05:30:46
Reply
As Sh1n3r suggests, it's always good to understand the role you want to take on in a dominant/submissive relationship. A wealth of ideas and knowledge helps, but it doesn't replace creativity and knowing your desires and more importantly the desires of your partner. However, you can try all the the tricks and gadgets you want. Fact is, she'll never be truly submissive to you unless two things happen.
First, she has to really want to be submissive to you or neither of you will be satisfied.
Second, you have to be dominant AND confident. The only way to do that is for you to really want it. If you're not, you'll look like some sort of cartoon character to her.
With any other scenario, at least one of you will be just going through the motions and not find that special place. You'll end up with the same results as the vast majority of couples bored to distraction with their mundane sex lives and believing that tying her to the bed posts and calling her a slut will make the boredom forever disappear.
Why not spend more time talking about it with her? Take the lead, find out what turns her on and be that dominant partner. A true Dom takes the time to know his or her sub and takes care to push those buttons that are going to turn their play into a passionately erotic and memorable moment.
All universal moral principles are idle fancies.
- Marquis de Sade
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Sh1n3r
Member
62
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# Posted: 28 Dec 2007 06:13:28 · Edited by: Sh1n3r
Reply
Quoting: nimrod Thanks for the thread bullinphoenix I am a cuck thinking of becomming a bull, and I would like to know some tricks to making women submisive. Can you make any woman submisive or is it only a particular type of woman that can be submisive? Thanks
Not everybody wants to play.
The stats I have heard is that the prevalence of people who are (let's just say) "born kinky" (in the BDSM sense) is about 1 in 10 - about the same as people who feel they were "born gay". People can also kind of be curious onlookers, and if they have a supportive culture, they may explore and develop kinky tastes, just like some people are bi-curious or "open", and then hook up with someone wonderful who happens to be the same sex as them.
But some people are deeply repelled by kink. Any hint of force, aggression, power-asymmetry, pain, taboo violation etc. just grosses them out and turns them off, like a bag of maggots. Some of these people "protest too much", and may be closeted kinksters, but I would wager that the best you can hope for is about 80% vanilla people in the world, and 20% kinksters. Still, with the concentration of populations in cities - not to mention the convergence of communities of interest online, that's generally plenty!
Anecdotally, my friends and I put the sub-to-Dom ratio at about 2:1, in both straight and gay kink communities. In straight communities, this is skewed, in that the Maledom/femsub ratio is more in the 1:1 range, and the malesub/Femdom ratio is in the 4:1 range or more!! Femdoms never lack for attention.
Not everybody will want to play, and some people may seem promising, but you may fail to find that "button" in them to press to put them into their space. Those people may be able to submit, but perhaps not to you. There is a "chemistry" aspect to this, just like any other sexual connection.
I'm afraid it's just like real life... kinky sex (like vanilla sex) involves there being chemistry, overlapping tastes, shared curiosities, setting the mood, making the time, clicking with someone, being in the right place at the right time, learning how to seduce someone, discovering new buttons neither of you knew you had, taking risks, getting rejected, yadda yadda yadda yadda...
You actually can't "make" anyone submissive at all. You can make people submit and have them hate you for it easily enough. Submission is a gift on their side that they offer you. You may help create the conditions within which they discover their submissive side though. Domination is like a long, slow, masterful seduction. Some people only follow you into your Domain for a few steps, but if you are artful and you pay attention to what they are telling you about what works and doesn't, you can sometimes make people feel safe and at home much, much deeper into your Domain than they ever imagined possible (back when they were starting out).
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mcevin
Member
45
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# Posted: 30 Dec 2007 05:30:05
Reply
Hey, here's a KLUE!
If you have to ASK, you are already F**KED!
Sorry, but that's the way it is...
Love,
Jamie
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mcevin
Member
45
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# Posted: 30 Dec 2007 05:31:27
Reply
Hey, here's a KLUE!
If you have to ASK, you are already F**KED!
Sorry, but that's the way it is...
Love,
Jamie
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Doc Dianna
Member
31
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# Posted: 3 Jan 2008 04:16:08
Reply
PalmCoastCouple
I think I would like to see a little more encouragement!
Please
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iwannagag
Member
35
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# Posted: 25 Feb 2008 18:46:06
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Blindfold her, tie her up, put her into a submissive exposed position, make various signs that say stuff like "I am your slut", and "I want it in all holes", and other nasty things. Don't tell her what will be on the signs. Take pictures of her with and without these signs.
Show her the pictures without the signs. If she likes how she looks, show her the pictures with the signs. Tell her which ones you like the most and which ones you are going to show to your friends.
Its all about brain fucking. You have got to make her trust you but be a little bit afraid of you. But she must trust you.
Caution: I've never done this before, so what the hell do I know.
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PalmCoastCouple
Member
252
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# Posted: 25 Feb 2008 20:10:20
Reply
Quoting: iwannagag You have got to make her trust you but be a little bit afraid of you. But she must trust you.
Hmmmm... you can't "make" someone trust you. Trust is earned.
As far as fear, a sub should never fear her Dom. The presence of fear indicates an absence of trust, and a sub must completely trust her Dom.
However it's perfectly acceptable, and indeed desirable, to create an edge of uncertainty about what he has in store for her! The tremblings of anticipation should come from the unknown... not fear of the Dom! Regardless of what task or act will be required of her, the ability to face them is largely drawn from the absolute faith and trust in her Dom.
A good sub will balance on the edge of a cliff for her Dom, provided she trusts him... and a good Dom will always push her closer to the edge than she thinks she can go, but without ever placing her at risk.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1. the husband of an unfaithful wife. NOTE - It DOES NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, sissyboy, crossdresser, cocksucker, scat eater, piss drinker, beastiality, incest or pedophilia.
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cucktim
Member
3
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# Posted: 25 Feb 2008 20:21:58
Reply
Anyone know of a website or info on how to tie up the wife as in the pics above. Especially pic #2 form PalmCoastCouple. I wasn't a boy scout so I could use a little help. The wife has a submissive side and I think she would enjoy being tied down and have some strange men service her.
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PalmCoastCouple
Member
252
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# Posted: 25 Feb 2008 20:33:13
Reply
cucktim... we just bought a set of cuffs... wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, thigh cuffs, waist cuff, collar and a blindfold. All of the cuffs have "D" rings attached to them, so it's just a matter of tying rope from the "D"ring to whatever point you choose on your bedframe.
Trust me... it's a lot quicker and easier to use cuffs. Unless you're just into knotsmanship and the look it provides, cuffs are a lot more practical.
However, I did browse the web for "sample" positions like those shown above!
Like your wife, mine had a fantasy of being bound and ravaged. It's no longer just a fantasy... <wink>
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1. the husband of an unfaithful wife. NOTE - It DOES NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, sissyboy, crossdresser, cocksucker, scat eater, piss drinker, beastiality, incest or pedophilia.
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daddysgoodgirl
Member
8
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# Posted: 27 Feb 2008 03:38:47
Reply
I can only speak for myself. Things like submitting to humiliating treatment like being openly groped in public are good ways to help gentle a girl into being dominated. It's important to control both her mind and her body. One of the most dramatic ways of controlling a woman's body is to get her pregnant. The man I'm seeing currently made one of his first moves with me throwing out my birth control and barebacking me. His moves in mental control were what got me to submit to it all. The mental is extremely important but don't forget that the physical plays a huge part in that.
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DaniSubTV
Member
260
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# Posted: 27 Feb 2008 07:12:28
Reply
If you do nothing else, do this....this is the ultimate answer to your request. I am also from Phoenix and about 18 years ago when I stumbled across a BDSM support group here. I joined it and paid the an annual membership fee (back then it was about $15-20 at the most) so I could check it out. I had just broken up with a gf I had been living with for about two years and although we could have really enjoyed it, I dated a lot and for a couple of years after that. I never joined it to meet people there and since it wouldn't have been such a good idea to bring a girl there on a date (lol), I just didn't maintain the membership. Now for the two of you, this would be perfect. What the membership fee is, it will be cheap and they charge a door fee for each event but, that's cheap too....it's not a business so the fees are charged only to maintain the group and not make a profit.....they elect a board each year. There's a brief orientation when you join, just to lay down the rules (i.e, what goes on there stays there kind of stuff). I checked the website and the link is below....it looks like the group is bigger than ever.....you'll find all the answers you need there...they have monthly parties but, the thing that will help you two is all the workshops they do on a different topic each week....there's an advanced workshop once a month. A lot of members that are experts at different things that volunteer to do the workshops and the have guest speakers from other support groups. They cover everything you need to know like technic, safety, mind fuck, etc. It's totally safe and legit....there's a lot of things you can learn there so that you can have a lot of fun (and not have to call the rescue squad some day to come and get you out of something you're stuck in, lol).
http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/home.html
There's links to affialiate groups there but, if you're between 18-39 this one might even be better for you:
http://www.tng-az.org/home.html
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