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Buttercup
Member
4
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# Posted: 17 Jun 2006 03:36:58
Reply
Ok my special someone really is into cuckold stories and says if I were to meet a special someone on the side it would really excite him beyond all words. So how the heck to people get into it, find someone, without going over board. I also don't want my relationship to change with my special someone and I am guessing once you take the plunge everything changes?
Buttercup
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Phoenix MWF Carmen
Member
48
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# Posted: 19 Jun 2006 17:12:36
Reply
Buttercup:
First of all, you have to keep in mind the difference between WANTS and NEEDS, and we can talk about those issues as we communicate (if you want to).
 I will not give you or the men of the forum fodder for jacking off while reading, so please do not expect that from me.
 On the other hand, I guess I have a couple questions:
(1) Is your special person a husband (committed) or a boyfriend that you could cause to go running into the night screaming?
(2) Are you considering an interracial adventure?
Now to address your last statement of [i]"I also don't want my relationship to change with my special someone and I am guessing once you take the plunge everything changes?"[/i]
Yes, no way that you can avoid it! 
 Presuming that you are going to the cuckold side of lifestyles, what are your plans for selection of men on size, race?
What about the cream pie issue? What about the subliminal and verbal demaoralization issues?
Have you considered the balance of ego vs. masculinity and how to delicately attach each without ruining your man's well being?
 Many things to consider. True cuckolding, not the BS that you read on the net perpetuated by men that type one handed is a major life change and one that I would advise you to be careful with. Having that kind of power over a man and promoting the power-exhange aspects of the cuckolding lifestyle can be like a baby playing with matches.
Feel free to contact me!
Carmen
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Dick Diva
Member
301
Pictures: 3
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# Posted: 19 Jun 2006 18:38:30
Reply
I agree with Phoenix MWF Carmen that this site is filled with everything from helpful advice to ridiculous fantasy. However, I’m sure you will be able to tell the difference between the real posts and that of men’s fantasies.
I do not see anything wrong with a forum for everything. The style in which men masturbate and the things they use to masturbate too gets attacked and at the moment is being called into question when really all you want to know is how to make cuckolding work without going overboard.
I hope you keep your helpful conversation in a thread within this forum where others who don’t “type one handed” as Phoenix MWF Carmen points out, can gain from it too. I hope you don’t feel frightened away.
On to your question:
If you are already in a swing relationship then cuckolding can be added simply as a role play once in a while. That’s how we do it. The two of us enjoy power play, (Dominant and Submission play) separate and apart from cuckolding – so combine that with swinging, it’s not a huge step.
Try breaking it down into it’s parts which are humiliation, power exchange, and one sided matriarch swinging. Before ever taking the plunge, see how turned on he gets when the two of you are making love and you tell him you need something bigger, (of course you will have to accept the way men fantasize to be OK with this), or call him by a different name – roll play it with yourselves.
Try going to an Off Premise swing dance and meet some people. Off premise means there is no sex at the location of the dance so you can go home with each other. Go to a dungeon play party, (there is never any expectation there where I am from) and observe couples in power exchanges. There are some great books on this as well.
Role-play and have fun before taking it seriously is my suggestion.
Again, I agree with Phoenix MWF Carmen that True cuckolding is a major life change.
Again, I hope you find this helpful and feel free to post here anytime, we could use women perspective more often.
Vancouver BC, Canada
http://cuckoldcouple.wordpress.com/
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Phoenix MWF Carmen
Member
48
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# Posted: 19 Jun 2006 21:49:53
Reply
Buttercup, Diva is so right. Research is the key here. I actually train or coach or call it what you want, but advise many women that are part of a real (non-on-line) group, from NYC, to DENVER to Phoenix that actually start from the fantasy of having a black lover, to learning the key to strengthening a marriage, and the power exhange of cuckolding wtih all the intricate details,motavations and end results.
There are many woman that have resolved themselves to understanding that "size does matter", when it is also associated with crossing taboos of traditional roles in the bedroom and when that "size" comes in a dark flavor. For me, I have absolutely no interest in white men of size. I get absolutely nothing from it. Now, put a 9"X2" or larger endowed Mandingo in front of me and my panties get real sticky. ;) What can I say?
The first thing that I think that DIVA and anyone seriously in this lifestyle will tell you is that you have to be steady in your course, with your man beside you at all times, supporting your choice to now take the lead, take the control and be the dominent person in your sexual relationship. You in essence become the Alpha Female.
Of course, you have to look at other psychological factors. Like my husband, you will find that most cuckolds are very strong men in their careers (bosses, control entities), are strong husbands, fathers, hunter/gatherers (as it were) and most important, YOUR BEST FRIEND!
Remember, you are basically taking the control over the man, and if you take a course of sexually demoralizing him, remember, you are attacking the sexual ego, NOT THE MAN! In that area, so many woman make the mistake, and end up really hurting their friend and hurting the overall relationship.
MY MAN, husband, is always my man & my husband and he never doubts that for one minute. He just understand that I have wants that I now am free to persue, with his blessing, cooperation and participation.
Diva and I have been writing so much to you, and we have not really heard back from you. Hope that you are getting this and that we have not been fooled into thinking that you were a genuine female looking for advise, and not a man, one hand typing just getting a thread started?
Lust and Kisses,
Carmen
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Buttercup
Member
4
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# Posted: 20 Jun 2006 03:46:14
Reply
Wow thank you all so much. My special somone is my husband and he is my best friend and maybe I will start slow with just being more dominent in the bedroom for starters. What books can I read on being more dominent - not like something I can ask my library for ;). I am willing to try to take a "alpha" lead but really never have before.
I can say I am sick of him asking everytime I go out "did you get hit on by any guys" and I say Oh yea, guys hit on Mom's with kids all the time - NOT! I am trying to fullfill his needs but again like you all had said I don't want to hurt him as a man. He likes when I talk about past relationships and tends to think I was with gianormous men, when in reality the only guy I tried to be with that was over normal sized I would say - didn't work. So I loved the responses, it is honest and what I was looking for. Thank you all again!!
Buttercup
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jamesriske
Member
1419
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# Posted: 20 Jun 2006 05:16:02
Reply
buttercup,
It's hard to say what works for you but I'll tell you that my wife and I started playing domination games first. She would get dressed up and have me worship her feet and she would lightly spank me. Then tie bells to my wrists and ankles and force me to lie still while she had sex with me.
Then she got a black dildo and started teasing me by sucking on it while I was worshipping her feet.
Then we found a black guy on line and he came over and she gave him a hand job while I watched. We wanted to test the waters to see how things went. A hand job is good because if it turns out that you both don't like it, you can still 'go back'. Put on something sexy and give another man a sexy massage and hand job to completion. Then analyse your feelings and talk to your husband about it. Take it slowly.
Now, we are at the point where she is giving blowjobs while I watch and we are still enjoying it. There's no rush for us.
I hope my story and advice helped. That's how we did it.
James
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Ed Mueller
Member
2
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# Posted: 20 Jun 2006 06:21:10
Reply
Just wanted to add my comments on being cuckolded. I encouraged my wife to have sex with another man, someone I found and researched on the internet. He turned out to become our best friend to both of us. I initially wanted her to try it out with someone else and eventually go the IR route, but that never happened. This adventure lasted about 5 years with our friend. Initially, she did it to please me but in the back of her mind, she always had the thought that I was pushing her to other men as a way of telling her that I no longer wanted her in my life. No matter what I said, she always felt that. It was difficult to convince her that watching them together, or hearing about their encounters, was a tremendous turn on for me. Eventually, although he is still a good friend, she felt that she could no longer go on having extramarital sex with him and again mentioned that if I wanted to push her onto another man, that I should be honest and tell her. I still tried to convince her that it was for my excitement and that wanting her to go with someone else was never my intention.
As of now, she no longer indulges in sex with other men and believe it or not, I miss the excitement, greatly. I still have hopes she will please me by someday having IR sex. Why I want this? I don't know. All I know is that it makes me very excited and fulfilled.
If your husband wants to take a chance on going through the wide range of emotions which every encounter creates, then try it once. The important thing is that you have to talk about it constantly and make sure you reassure each other of your mutual love. I personally feel that if you start doing it for the sake of diminishing one partner or another, it can lead to problems. If you approach it as an adventure for both of you to share, then it can be the best thing in your life.
Keep in mind, the other man in the triangle can make the experience or break the marriage. It's up to you. You just have to be careful.
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Sticky
Member
2
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# Posted: 20 Jun 2006 12:52:18
Reply
To Buttercup and everyone else in this thread
My wife and i had used the fantasy of her sleeping with another man in our sex life for a long time, the idea turned us both on and we would fantasise about men we knew and men she worked with, i had always assured her that i would like it to happen, but she doubted whether i would like the reality.
And then she started to go out with the girls from work one evening a week and after a while i noticed a subtle change, this went on for a few months until at a company christmas do, where spouses were invited, i noticed a guy (that i knew pretty well) paying her a lot of attention, this actually made me cross to start with, but the more i thought about it the more turned on i got. When we got home later i confronted her with my suspicions, she told me not to be so silly and that because they worked together they got on really well, i thought she was right and did feel silly, after all we had known this man for a few years and i thought my fantasies had got the better of me. A couple of weeks later she stopped going out and no more was said about it.
Then about a year later we were having a pre-sex talk about who she would like to screw and this guy's name came up and she admitted that she would like to sleep with him, i said that i thought she had slept with him and that i would really like it to happen. Ill never forget the moment she climbed on top of me and said that she would if i really wanted it, i asked her if she was serious and she said yes, i couldnt believe how horny this made me, then she said what if i were to tell you it has already happened, that was it i came instantly, it was so powerful, that had never happend to me before. After we had calmed down i asked her if she was kidding just to get me going and she said no but she was a bit afraid of my reaction which is why she had'nt mentioned it before. Of course i had to ask, was he bigger, better,etc. She told me all the details and aksed if i still wanted her to go thorough with it, i was so aroused that she did'nt need any more proof that i was serious.
She made some arrangements over the next few days and has been seeing him for a few years now, he does'nt know that i know and he and his wife are good friends of ours socially.
My wife and i treat this situation as just another aspect of our lives, something different like having sex in the car to make a change, the only reason that she slept with him in the first place was that at the back of her mind she knew i would'nt be upset (apart from the fact that she fancied the arse off him), but i must say our sex lives have improved, his cock has an upward curve to it and is smaller than mine but he manages to reach her G-spot with it and when she comes he can actually make her spurt, i'v seen the evidence of this on our couch and in our bed, i would really like to watch them but she does'nt want that, i did manage to see them together in the back of his car but it was too dark to make out any details.
Openess, honesty and compromise are the best ways forward Buttercup and it will only work if you both want it but it must not take over your lives, treat it as a hobby.
Best of luck
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Phoenix MWF Carmen
Member
48
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# Posted: 20 Jun 2006 17:56:31
Reply
Ok, I guess I have to jump back in here.
BUTTERCUP! Listen to what I am going to tell you!
Take this one step at a time.
1. Sit down with your husband and ask him if he would be fine with you fucking larger endowed black men.
2. Tell him that as long as he is on the same page as you are, that having extremely hung men is only a WANT for you and not a NEED.
3. Once agreed, then the training on his part and learning on your part begins.
The rest is a step by step getting used to situation for both of you.
Week 1-2: Have sex with him often. After each time he cums in you, you must anxiously clean him with your mouth, and take the lead on this and pulling his head to your crotch to clean you. Encourage him to make sure that you are completely cleaned.
Week 3, 4, 5, 6: Go out twice a week, say a Wednesday and Friday/Saturday. Go to a jazz/blues bar that caters to the 25-50 age group. When you arrive, tell your husband that you want him to take a back seat to your evening by standing at the bar, pretending that you two are not together. Tell him that you are going to flirt, dance and rub up against any black man that will allow you to do so. Assure him that you are going to move slow, and that for these weeks, you are not going to have sex with any man but him after he meets you back at the car and takes you home. This 4 week, 8 night adventure gets him used to seeing you in the arms and flirting and playing innocently with a black man; and gets you comfortable with it all as well. The latter is important as your husband, now a budding cuckold, getting used to things. BTW, make sure that you dress provocative, but not as a slut. Dress in something appropriate to the venue. Do not go without panties, or ever during this stage give the men you will be flirting with, or dancing with, that you are going anywhere with them.
(!!!) Now, important thing here. At the end of each evening, you are going to be wet, horny and ready to jump on the gear shift knob of your husband's car. Take your budding cuckold home, undress yourself, lay down and make him have oral sex with you. While he does this (an hour or better), talk about each and every man that you had contact with. Talk about feeling his penis in his pants rub up against you as your danced, the way that a man touched your shoulders while talking, or a squeeze of an arm, or stolen kiss, etc. Go slow and make sure that every spoken detail conjurs up a vivid memory of what your husband saw.
When this stage of the evening is done, then let him have you. Do not give him oral sex at all. After he is done sweating all over you, and huffing and puffing, cuddle up under his arm and ask him what he saw from his perspective. While he is telling you this, comment about how this guy might have felt, or the size of this guy, or how wet this guy made you, and delicately tell your cuckold that he was good tonight to stand back and let you play. Also, after he is done talking and you are done with your subtle comments about the other men, gently push him back between your legs and make him clean you of his deposit. End the night there.
Now, on Week 7 comes the first sexual contact. Remember, it does not matter who the black man is, what size he is, or even if he is good looking. The goal here is to find a black man that you can take to your car (not his) and give that black man oral sex. Never put yourself in a dangerous situation though. While you are committing to the BM as to a pending walk to the back seat of your car, tell the BM that you are not along, that the guy standing over there is your husband and that he is there for security, but that you are a BC lover. Tell the BM that you are more than willing to escort him to the back seat of your husband's care to show him your oral talents, but that your husband/cuckold will be standing outside the car, at the hood, and will not interfere. If the BM says no thank you, fine, find another one. Believe me, black men know of white wives who are into having them, and know that husbands watch, stand by and that this is a lifestyle. IF THE BLACK GUY does not know of this, don't attempt to educate him - move on to another victim (so to say).
As soon as you go GULP-GULP and get the black guy's fingers out of you, and he gets out of the car, your husband/cuckold should have been instructed to THANK the black guy for you. Have his shake the black man's hand while he thanks him. This instruction should have been given before the evening starts.
Then, take your husband home. Tell him that you are in a hurry to get home. Let him know in your own ways that you are buring up and need his mouth on your pussy. Tell him repeatedly how hot the man got you and how many time, how often you came on his fingers, and how close you came to jumping the black guy's bone right there in the car.
As soon as you get home, rush to the bedroom, I mean knock down walls to get there, flop on the bed, still dressed and drag your cuckold's head between your legs to orally satisfy you. Once you get one POP out of the way, gently push your cuckold away with your foot, and get undressed. Now go back to the part above marked (!!!) and follow those instructions.
Go through this every week end. Once a week is enough. Don't burn out on it right away and take a break on your week of your period. No conversation, no indication that you are nothing more than Ozzie & Harriet.
After a couple months of playing on the back seat of your husband's car, him cleaning up the stains on the leather from your excretions, he will be used to the idea of you being with another man.
At this point, get in touch with me off the list and I will walk you through the actual stage of having your first super endowed black man, having your cuckold clean the cream pie and the subtle demoralization of perpetuating your cuckold's new station in life.
JUST REMEMBER, THIS IS NOT A 24/7 THING! ON NON PLAY NIGHTS, FUCK YOUR HUSBAND'S EARS OFF, SHOW HIM THAT YOU ARE BECOMING A REALLY SEXUAL BEING. REMEMBER, HE IS YOUR FRIEND, YOUR LOVER, HUSBAND, THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE, THE IMPORTANT MALE ENTITY THAT TAKES CARE OF YOUR "NEEDS' IN LIFE. DO NOT GIVE HIM THE IMPRESSION THAT THE LOVERS ARE ANYTHING MORE THAN A WANT!
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Paave787
Member
209
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# Posted: 26 Jun 2006 18:12:05
Reply
Buttercup - It's good that your husband is interested in being cuckolded but it may also be good to read my thread in Cuckold Stories - Reality
http://www.cuckoldplace.com/2_8242_0.html
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