Out of hand

I need advice.

In a nutshell...

My wife and I have been together for 5 years. She is 30, super hot, and used to be a bikini model. She still looks outstanding. About once a month she would do the cuckold role-play with me, but was not in to it. I think she just did it to make me happy.

In January, I asked he if she might want to make it a reality. She was totally not interested. Since then, she changes the subject whenever it comes up in bed.

She has been distant recently, and I have noticed some strange events going on. They have upset me, because I am wondering if she is seeing someone. It would be o.k. for her to cuck me, but to cheat on me and not let me know...this is quite different. I am very upset, and I don't know if I am overreacting and interpreting harmless things as her cheating.

Has this happened to anyone, and am I just imagining things?

Please share your thoughts.

I keep a box of condoms to spice things up a bit with my wife. occasionally I count to see if any are missing.

what kind of strange events are you noticing?

Dreg

There have been several incidents that have made me wonder.

For the last month, she has regularly been gone when I came home from work. She used to always be at home. Also, she started going to a tanning salon. One of her girl friends has been going through a tough time. My wife has been visiting her 3 Sarturday evenings in a row. She comes home around 11:30, tells me she is tired, and goes to bed. The thing that really made me wonder is that last weekend I called over there to talk to her, and her friend said she had run to the store for something. I asked her friend to have her call me, but when she came home 2 hours later, she told me she "forgot."

Am I imagining things, or do you think something is going on. If so, why would she not share the experience with me. I am not O.K. if she is relaxing with someone and hiding it from me.

I hate to say it but it sounds bad...I have been where you are and just reading your short description sent my senses on high alert and gave me that feeling in the pit of my stomach. First of all, if a woman all of a sudden starts paying more attention to her looks (makeup, new panties, losing weight, TANNING!) at the same time she is spending increasing amount of time away from you...well statistically speaking the odds of something going on have just skyrocketed. If I were you, I would lay it out there one more time that you are great with the idea of her fucking around as long as you are included somehow (whatever works for you). However, she should also know that deception is a whole different thing and that you won't accept that. If she has already done the deed and confesses it to you, will you be able to accept the situation provided she keeps you informed in the future? If she denies any wrongdoing and if the strange behavior persists your just going to have do whatever detective work you need to do to get at the truth. The sad truth is, if she's already seeing somebody behind your back despite the fact that she is aware of your penchant for her to cuck you then she might be moving on. I believe there are many women out there (I would say the majority actually) who would view a husband's desire for them to fuck other men as unmanly and weak and in some way also might make them feel unloved and unsafe. The hotwife types are definitely in the minority (DAMN!). It takes a woman wired in a certain way to live this lifestyle and embrace it. I hope it works out how you would like it to. Good Luck.

AND...she might even be telling the truth.

I am not so sure. Women are by nature attached to one man - and the thought that he is pushing her to others makes some of them mad. This would lead her to re-think you relationship - with all the symptoms you describe (incl. tanning to improve her looks).

So I would tread much more carefully: open the discussion with her that you are worried because you love her etc. and that while the cuckolding thought makes you horny, you need her. Then see how it goes and follow through...

Good luck, pal
Panos

Or maybe she is just trying to get your attention and to see if she is still attractive to you.
Talk to your woman.

cheers
prologue

Obviously, you guys have a communication problem. All the details you listed are indicative of cheating. The Saturday night visits to her friends are a blaring indication.

Do you feel that she loves you? Really? Deep down inside? That is really a more important question than the cheating.

You need to have a very measured non-emotional conversation about it. Let her know (or at least think) that you don't mind the cheating, that is excites you and that you want to know.

Before getting married, I had a girlfriend in another city where I was working for a couple of years. I returned to my hometown and it was really unclear whether we would stay together. We ended up doing a long distance type thing and after a few months she moved to my hometown. A year or so after that we started doing the cuckold thing. It wasn't until she did the cuck thing with me that she became confident enough to admit that she had been fucking someone else the whole time we were apart.

I had actually met the guy and didn't like him and he did not like me, which only made the whole situation even hotter. Little did I know he had been fucking "my girl" with his much larger cock, beginning right after I left. Her take on things was that I left town without making a commitment to her and she liked to fuck, so she didn't think she did anything wrong. Nonetheless, she didn't feel comfortable telling me until after she absolutely knew it was ok with me. We continued together for a couple of years before I left her for my wife. But, the sex during those two years, mostly her fucking other guys and me getting to watch and/or getting sloppy seconds was outstanding.

I suppose this is a very long way of saying - when it comes to keeping secrets we got nothing on women. My career powers me to use my analytical and investigative s*******s every day, yet I never suspected a thing. If a woman wants to cheat without you finding out, she can usually accomplish it.

Your wife being so blatant about it can mean 1) she is sending you a message, 2) she just does not give a cuckolds brownie, or 3) she's just not very bright and therefore unable to cover her tracks. Hopefully for you it is the first possibility and you can figure out what the message is.

Have you asked her?

you know she is getting drilled rigid!

Thank you all for you helpful advice. I appreciate it. (except for shaft1. not helpful.)

You drove her away with your lack of confidence.

this is what happens when you enter into this lifestyle. sorry to hear its not going well but you cant have both forever.