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cucky4u
Member
26
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# Posted: 14 Jun 2008 13:32:17
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Does anyone have experience of the wife falling in love with one of her boyfriends? How did it happen and how did things turn out? Thanks for your thoughts on this.
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
208
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# Posted: 14 Jun 2008 20:40:25
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I do not have experience with this, but it is something we are currently pursuing. After years of cucking me, my wife is now looking for a relationship that is more than just physical and friendly. She is looking for a romance to melt her and sweep her off her feet. She wants to feel that emotional overload of new love again.
We have talked about it very seriously (not just, "wouldn't it be hot") and considered the risks and difficulties and we are both 100% ready. In fact, we've been there for over a year now.
The big problem is finding a guy who will date a married woman who is open to a real emotional commitment. There are plenty of guys willing to have a NSA sex relationship with a married woman, but those looking for something more cross the married women off their list (not surprisingly) so finding a boyfriend who will be open to all this is challenging.
I'll let you know if anything develops.
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jbrown
Member
207
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# Posted: 14 Jun 2008 21:46:11
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wow that is something i could not handle i can take the fucking and sucking farm animal action.but true love i could not deal with.but for the average it is just the phsical aspect no real feelings except fuck buddies
truely enjoyng married life one fuck at a time
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afwmisom
Member
287
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# Posted: 14 Jun 2008 21:46:16
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it would be very difficult for my wife to have a sex partner without a romantic component to some degree. they are very linked for many women, including my filipina wife. note, that this does not necessarily threaten our marriage. a romantic element does not mean that she would want to endanger the security of her family.
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jbrown
Member
207
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# Posted: 14 Jun 2008 21:48:48
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mine has some feeling but true love is a whole dif world.theres is stuff my wife can do around me that she would never do around her boyfreind
truely enjoyng married life one fuck at a time
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
208
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# Posted: 15 Jun 2008 17:59:33
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It seems to me that all Fetish Cuckolding is about playing with the fear of losing out and being replaced, rejected, supplanted, abandoned, etc. It could just be for the moment, "I just find him so hot right now," or for a certain aspect, "we will still be completely normal in every way, but he will be the one who fucks me," or it could be more serious and combined with other forms of D/S and emasculation.
The question for each couple (as it is in all BDSM) is how much risk is acceptable and healthy. I believe the answers will vary from person to person and couple to couple. Some people just like to leave it a fantasy spoken as they make love. Others will role play between themselves. Some will go further and include others in the secret and some even include others in the physical activity at varying levels. (She'll make out with a guy. She'll fuck a guy. She'll fuck a guy in front of him. He'll participate in someway, etc.)
Some of the axes of that you need to draw your lines on are:
- How actualized? Is it just imagination, or do you do it for real?
- How extreme? Is it just like a half-open marriage, where she fucks some guy so you can watch? Or, at the other extreme, does she stop having sex with you, etc.?
- How often/How permanent? Is this a one-off thrill? An occasional spice? A one-a-month in the next county, or only-when-away-on-vacation thing? Or is it a lifestyle?
- How public? Can anyone else know? Just a few select? Many people? What about close friends, neighbors, work associates? Family?
Most guys will draw the line somewhere along the broad continuum short of being permanently cut off from sex with their wives. (Though they may fantasize about it.) Even for those who go that extreme, the idea of really risking losing her is usually a fantasy-too-far. A few of us want to go further.
I think it is like gambling. It is an entertainment activity, but one that requires sound judgement to keep from crossing from enjoyable thrill into sorrow or even disaster. Each person's comfort level is different and each needs to engage responsibly.
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blackside999
Member
60
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# Posted: 16 Jun 2008 12:05:26
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A wife can fall in love with her boyfriend and leave you. Then it's not a turn-on. Then it just sucks. It's one thing for her to get ga-ga and find a guy she's into; it's another thing for her to leave you for another guy.
If she really loves someone else, do you think she'll stick around with you? Cuckolding is a fun aspect of sex, but it isn't everything. Make your wife feel loved and appreciated, make her cum. Let her know that she's with a real man, a real man who likes the sexy idea of her fucking other guys but who also loves fucking her and pleasing her himself.
Cuckolding should be only one element of the relationship. It shouldn't take over everything. You shouldn't let it destroy your self-esteem or your relationship. Step back and take a look at things. Does your wife still love you? Does she feel like you don't love her adequately, that your lost in your own little cuckold world? Cuckolding should be a riskee addition to the relationship, not the end-all, be-all. You don't want to lose your wife or make her feel unloved.
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
208
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# Posted: 16 Jun 2008 15:46:01
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blackside999,
I'm confused by your post. Are you stating your preferences, giving advice, or making an argument? If you are giving advice, then to who? I just don't see what you are trying to say.
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PalmCoastCouple
Member
275
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# Posted: 16 Jun 2008 17:47:30 · Edited by: PalmCoastCouple
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MrsBlackBlowUpDoll... very well said. Your gamblers analogy is excellent. Like many, I enjoy some element of the risk that comes from my wife becoming emotionally connected to another guy. Giving her the freedom to enjoy herself, to let go sexually... even becoming intellectually attracted to him... and then returning home, is one aspect that appeals to many men who share their wives.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1. the husband of an unfaithful wife. NOTE - It DOES NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, sissyboy, crossdresser, cocksucker, scat eater, piss drinker, beastiality, incest or pedophilia.
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jbrown
Member
207
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# Posted: 16 Jun 2008 23:46:08
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blackside i completly agree with you.i'm glad you said that my wife loves that she has two men and can't keep her hands off a both of us.life like this is truely good
truely enjoyng married life one fuck at a time
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
208
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# Posted: 17 Jun 2008 04:28:31
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blackside999 & jbrown,
To each his own, gentlemen; it may not be a turn-on for either of you if your wife were to “fall in love with her boyfriend and leave you,” but human diversity is broad. On another thread on this board (in this category, even:
http://www.cuckoldplace.com/1_50011_1.html) jamessmith reported:
“My fiancee left me recently for my 'friend' - it is upsetting, but I do wank over it every day...”
Also, while I can think of several reasons why people I know “stick around” with spouses when they “really loves someone else,” I think you may be missing the point. The thrill of the risk of loss, and the imagining of the disaster, is exactly what some of us get off on. That it is very likely she will choose not to stick around is the point. (I also take issue with the implicit suggestion blackside999 makes that a wife’s decision to walk necessarily means that she felt unloved and unappreciated by her husband. Haven’t you ever been torn between two lovers? Wasn’t there ever a girl you liked a lot, but another you were just way head over heels for?)
No offense is meant here to either of you; (Sincerely, I’ve read some of your other posts and you seem like decent guys.) but I believe cucky4u’s original question was whether you had any experience with this aspect of the fetish. Do you?
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jbrown
Member
207
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# Posted: 17 Jun 2008 05:06:33
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hey i can see your point but that is a road i never want to go down seems like alot more sorrow than fun considering we have two children and would not jepordize their child hood because we couldn't keep our emotions in check.i can honestly say my wife is the first woman i have truely loved she is my best and closest friend.i have had others that were better in alot of aspects but i wouldn't trade her for the world.i didn't mean to offend and no offense taken were all good here
truely enjoyng married life one fuck at a time
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blackside999
Member
60
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# Posted: 19 Jun 2008 07:26:04
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http://www.cuckoldplace.com/1_50011_0.html
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rdvrk
Member
57
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# Posted: 23 Jun 2008 00:09:31
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My wife was in love with her (now ex-)boyfriend. It was very intense for both of us, and, while it lasted, a great experience. It was amazing to watch her fall in love with someone, and to know that when they spent time together, it was much more than just physical. I felt jealous sometimes, but mostly I was really happy for her. They used to spend two or three nights a week together, and she talked to him on the phone every day.
It ended when he asked her to leave me for him, and she decided to stay with me instead. Very bad feelings between her & him, but the experience brought the two of us closer together in the end and helped redefine and reinforce our relationship.
Her current steady BF/FB relationship is way less intense and less emotional. Less threatening, but also less engaging for her.
We both look forward to the day when she meets someone she can truly fall for again.
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
208
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# Posted: 24 Jun 2008 16:57:38
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I'm curious rdvrk,
Did she consider it at all when he asked her to leave you or was it just so beyond the pale that she dismissed it out of hand. Did she discuss it with you when he asked her? Did he know you were a willing cuckold?
I would be fascinated and appreciative of any details.
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rdvrk
Member
57
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# Posted: 25 Jun 2008 01:08:18
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Hi MBBD.
It was, frankly, a fuckin' nightmare.
She really, really loved him. He was (originally) completely on board for a relationship with her, and knew about me & my place in her life. Everything was working beautifully for a long time, and then he decided it just wasn't okay with him that she was married to me. Seemed like it came out of the blue, but apparently he had been stewing for some time about it.
So (long story short) she agonized for a long time, and we talked about it endlessly. She had been perfectly happy with our arrangement, and so had I. What she wanted was for it to continue as before, but he was completely not onboard for that.
We talked about her leaving me, and I gave her my blessing if that's what she wanted. In the end, she decided she could no longer be with him on the terms he wanted, and that she wasn't willing to leave me for him. Honestly, I wasn't so sure how it would end up, but I am, of course, extremely happy that she decided to stay married to me.
Much crying, much heartbreak, much comforting. Not exactly jack-off material. but there you have it.
PS: Love your "gambling" analogy- that's it exactly!
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SuperQ
Member
29
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# Posted: 25 Jun 2008 06:02:01
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I think a line has to be drawn. Falling in love crosses that line. We've always tried to limit the number of times she is with one partner. Usually, no more than 2 to 3 times. It's always keeps it new and reduces the possibility that she would fall in love with some guy. It works for us.
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rdvrk
Member
57
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# Posted: 9 Jul 2008 01:49:37
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Update to last post: she decided to break it off with her current BF because of their lack of emotional connection. She's looking forward to some more serious dating in the near future, and I am excited for her as well!
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tinky
Member
1
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# Posted: 13 Jul 2008 17:06:48
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Well when my wife and I got into this lifestyle, she told me, "Be prepared to lose." I think that possibility of losing her to another man was a huge turn on for us both.
Well now she has been dating her boyfriend for 6 months and she told me the other day that she not only loves him, but is deep in love with him and thinks about him all the time.
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renebe
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# Posted: 31 Jul 2008 10:50:42
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My wife and I are also very much into the 'falling in love' aspect of cuckolding. We have been for a few years now (ref. my post of 2 years ago: http://www.cuckoldplace.com/8_7836_0.html).
Like MrsBlackBlowupDoll we are persuing it and we experience the same problems. When she meets a guy she could go for (which doesn't happen very often by the way), he doesn't want me included in their relationship. And when she meets a guy who is thrilled I am there, he doesn't want the romantic part.
My wife has a boy friend now who she is very fond of. It's as close as we've gotten this far and we're happy with the situation (all three of us). They have a lot of fun together, they really like each other, there's a lot more between them than merely sex. He's a great guy and I can understand what she sees in him. But she's not in love with him.
It's fun. I also teaches me that I know myself well when it comes to this 'dark side' of mine. Seeing them having fun together makes me long even more for my wife to fall in love with another man.
Why? Is it because I secretly want her to leave me? Hell no! Nor is it playing with fire. To me it's the 'real man' part that is so appealing. I like the idea of being inadequate. I like the idea of being pushed aside by a man who's 'better' than me. Not just in bed, but in as many ways as possible.
rene.
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renebe
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# Posted: 31 Jul 2008 10:55:14
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Quoting: rdvrk We talked about her leaving me, and I gave her my blessing if that's what she wanted. In the end, she decided she could no longer be with him on the terms he wanted, and that she wasn't willing to leave me for him. Honestly, I wasn't so sure how it would end up, but I am, of course, extremely happy that she decided to stay married to me. Much crying, much heartbreak, much comforting. Not exactly jack-off material. but there you have it.
That must have been a very hard time for the two of you. Good for you that you pulled it off together. And very good indeed that you were there for her. Even when your worst nightmare was bound to become reality you stood by her. I reckon you weren't very sweet and loving to her all the time (just assuming you are human), but you were there. She's lucky to have you.
rene.
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rdvrk
Member
57
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# Posted: 5 Aug 2008 01:56:33
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Hi Rene.
It hasn't always been easy, but it's always been worth it. I have given up a lot for my wife and for our marriage. It has been difficult for me, and it has been very difficult for her.
She is not by nature a promiscuous woman (only in my dreams!) so it's been a rough road to find a way to make our marriage work.
I am very focused on her being with other men, to the extent that I can't get turned on by anything else.
This was hard for us to work with, since she didn't enjoy our experiments with three-way sex or having me watch her. Only when she decided to try dating alone did it come together for her, and then even more so when she could find a man she wanted more than just a casual connection with.
A traditional relationship would never work for us. When we are sexual with each other, I am always thinking about her with other men. I don't think I could be happy in a relationship with a wife who did not date others.
Also, though, we could never be happy in a "traditional" hotwife/swinger marriage. She simply isn't interested in anonymous sex, and if she finds a man she really likes, she wants to be with him on a regular basis.
We have found what works for us, which is her dating like a single woman and me staying out of the way.
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
208
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# Posted: 13 Aug 2008 19:44:48
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I want to echo Renebe's praise of you rdvrk. Standing by your wife and being supportive of her choices even to the point of giving your vocal assent to her leaving you (and not in an abstract sense, but with a very real option on the table) is remarkably brave and strong.
By giving her - really giving her - the chance you lived out the old homily of "if you love something set it free." You also actualized your own ideals as a cuckold, a scary, courageous step that must have almost impossibly hard. You are a better man for both your sacrifice for her and your courage to be you.
It is little wonder to me that your wife chose such a man over her ex. She would truly have been a "fool for love" to do otherwise.
New topic:
I envy you tinky
Quoting: tinky Well when my wife and I got into this lifestyle, she told me, "Be prepared to lose." I think that possibility of losing her to another man was a huge turn on for us both.
That was not my wife's attitude at all and it took many years before she was comfortable with the risk. You are a lucky man indeed. Please let us know how its gone and how the two of you are doing now.
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bryan787
Member
103
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# Posted: 15 Aug 2008 02:47:20
Reply
Guys and ladies,
I posted this in another thread. Think it applies. Please don't hate on me, if you have a different opinion. This is America!
--------------------
Murph, with all due respect, if you are a true cuckold like me, you know in your heart that the "ultimate" cuckold should push her to love him even deeper. I did so, and lost my girlfriend at the time... and I am happy I chose that path. Not 100%, but overall, my choice was to keep pushing.
I cannot describe how wonderful it was to watch her fall for him. I loved it. The few times we had sex, she would talk only of him. There is not better feeling than hearing the woman you are fucking call you another man's name, over and over.
The "breakup" part was the best, most amazing things I have ever done. She had me come to her new boyfriend's place. The guy knew about me but thought he had "stolen" her - didn't know of our cuck lifestyle. Anyway, they had gone out, were both drunk. She broke up with me while sitting on the couch, holding his hand. She said she was afraid of my reaction and needed him close. She had a few boxes with stuff I had given her and told me to take them. I was so turned on I was shaking. It was amazing.
I had to make a few trips, and when I came back the second time, they were making out on the couch. She pretended to be embarassed, but he was proud as hell and forced her to kiss him some more while I got the other boxes together. She asked him to go into another room and walked me to the door. She got a little bitchy and asked if I was happy to have lost me. I told her yes. She shook her head. She took her keys to my place out and dropped them on the floor in the hall. She then told me that my goodbye present was for me to walk around the apt. building and check out their bedroom. Then she slammed the door in my face.
Like the loser cuck that I was (and am), I did walk around and find the shades slightly open (blinds actually). I then proceeded to watch my ex-gf of 3 years get fucked by her new love. It was the greatest thing I have ever seen. He had his back to me; and many times, she would look up, and give me the middle finger. Watching her kiss him after they came was maybe the best part - pure joy to watch. She then got up, turned off lights, and came over and shut the shades.
I semi-stalked her for a few months. I jerked off every single day to her. I would call and listen to her voicemail and think of her getting fucked. I would drive by their apt. I would cut and paste her pics into internet porn.
Losing her is still my happiest moment. I am about to cum now, just writing about it. My vote is for you to push her and give in to your cuck feelings. In my opinion, every single women should be with a stud - not her "best friend". But that's just my opinion and experience. I know this is your wife... but still, perhaps consider giving her to her stud. Live the true cuckold path.
Later
Bryan
Supporting cuckolding until every single wife has a stud boyfriend...
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MrsBlackBlowupDoll
Member
208
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# Posted: 18 Aug 2008 04:31:08
Reply
I, for one, don't hate you bryan787; I admire you. I think what you did was a wonderful act of both self-actualization and love. And I think you ex knew it. She clearly remained fond enough of you to arrange that little show at the break-up.
I hope that you still masturbate thinking about what might have been in your life with her and what you have lost. But I also hope you get on with things and find a new love - only to lose her as well.
Best of luck to you and keep in touch!
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