| Author |
Message |
sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 22 Jun 2008 16:27:06
Reply
SFD you make a very good point, I don't really know why I don't want to be a girl, other than I don't feel comfortable. I tried and for a while I thought I was beginning to get into it, but something inside me just wont. I know this sounds ridiculous from someone who is turned on by watching his wife with another man, but its teh way I feel. It has nothign to do with any religious beliefs nor my kids, as I dont get to see them often due to the distance apart and due to the fact that their mother left me when they were just over 2 and 6 months old (yes we had 2 very quickly) so i have never got close to them.
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melbhusb
Member
21
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# Posted: 23 Jun 2008 03:58:45
Reply
SB64 it seems to me like you have no choice, I dont think you have ever had any choice. I think that your lovely wife has been planning this a long time. I think you are very lucky to have such a wonderful wife and if I was in your situation (I wish I was) I would give in and let her femminize you
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bsmp6419
Member
53
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# Posted: 23 Jun 2008 12:58:55
Reply
It seems that sb64's choices are simple:
1. stay with his wife and become a girl.
2. leave his marriage and be a man.
As long as he remains in his marriage, it does not sound like his wife will abandon her desire and her plans to feminize him.
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 23 Jun 2008 13:36:40
Reply
Thanks for all the advice, I think you are all correct. I think that I have no choice, my dear wife has been 10 steps ahead of me on all this. I will have a discussion with my wife tomorrow
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 23 Jun 2008 14:41:29
Reply
Relevant questions for Jenn
1. If you are to be full-time fem, how will you avoid humiliation from those who know that you're really a man? How can she ask you to give up your dignity as a human?
2. She agreed to a three part choice, but she's not really accepting your choice of being fem only in the bedroom and dominated and gay sex, but of not being full time fem. Why not?
3. This doesn't feel like love, but manipulation, because she's not accepting you for who you are and want to be. Does she still love you?
4. There are other ways to dominate you and remain intimate, without being full-time fem - Such as Elise Sutton's stuff. Would she consider that? Would you consider that? See - http://elisesutton.homestead.com/page2.html
Steven, you're in a tough situation. Don't compromise your beliefs. You're a person who is an important part of creation. You can be sumbissive but still retain dignity.
I care about you. Best wishes.
SFD
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 23 Jun 2008 15:49:40
Reply
Steven,
I re-read your "deal" You agreed to: "2) She will agree to stop teh femminization process, i agree to up 'the anti' on the cuckolding, this would include my wearing a form of chastity of her choosing AND oral and anal involvement with her boyfriends when she wants. Plus she can still make me dress as a girl for her entertainment but not regularly"
So are you willing to dress fem in the bedroom and maybe wear panties fulltime under your men's clothes? This should help you move forward in your relationship. Isn't it worth a try? The alternative may be divorce.
But, your wife said she doen's want that.
SFD
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 25 Jun 2008 06:47:16 · Edited by: sb64
Reply
Had a long discussion with Jenn, net net is she knows we agreed to halt the femminization process, but she has a problem as follows.
She loves me as a person, and wants to spend the rst of her life with me, BUT in the bedroom sexually speaking she is not only not attrcated to me but to an extent in my hairy maleness she is actually replused (her words) as she ses me as such a weak male and so submissive , she wnats to see me as a girl. She says that when i am all soft and smooth and femm, she is very attracted to me. To use her words, I am attracted to big built, man men or soft female types.
So we have agreed on a way forward which we are both more than happy with. I will keep myslef smooth and hairless, I will dress female at home whenever possible, including in bed and always when she has men visiting. I will be male outside the house such as at work or when we go out with frends. But that some outings as girlfriend is possible. When my kids visit, all cuckolding is on hold. The rest of the cuckolding can continue as it was. BUT in return she wnats me to start on some foirm of limited hormones, we will be going to see a special doctor she knows in a few weeks time. So all in all a good agreement, i will keep you all informed. Thanks for the interest shown.
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 25 Jun 2008 15:17:05
Reply
Steven,
I've been thinking about your situation. Does your wife want you to have sex with men? She has not allowed you to become comfortable with this. I transitioned from hetro to bi gradually over several years, driven by a desire to be submissive. AK Remenko describes an analytic number line from -1 to zero to +1. This is hard to understand. Here's an easier way -
The only bi experience your wife provided you was pure trauma. There was no seduction, no getting comfortable being touched by a guy, no getting comfortable touching a penis, no getting comfortable sucking, no learning to kiss a guy. I'm sure this is all repulsive to you, but it's not to a woman and that's the path she wants to take you, and you've agreed to.
I suggest getting a "m4m massage." Look it up on the Internet. It takes time to progress through what I described above. This is what I did the first time I had a gay experience. The guy came to my room, I was fully clothed and seated. He started massaging my feet, then took off my socks. Then massaged my legs and then took off my pants (sorry - trousers). It was a slow sensuos experience. A male massage can let you get comfortable being touched.
About hormones, I don't think you're ready. Tits are forever, unless you get scarred with a masectomy. You have to want to be a girl first, and I suspect that the sexual aspect I described above is your biggest issue - it was for me.
It takes time, it's like when you were a teenager. First you held hands and then you kissed. Those experienced were charged with electricity. It's like the time that Brian touched your panty covered ass - it was electric. You've got to go through a tranisiton - somehthing other than r-a-p-e.
Your wife is way ahead of you in her desire for you being fem, but she's not allowing you the mental transition that you need. If you want to do something phyiscal to your body, have your beard removed with laser or eletrolysis - That's going to be a bigger issue than hormones and also takes time but isn't something you can't deal with in a man's role. You're not ready to grow breasts until you're in this the whole way.
You can still dress up with glued-on fake breasts and go out to clubs as girl friends. But once you grow breasts, how are you supposed to go to work???
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 25 Jun 2008 15:35:20
Reply
Steven,
Here's how AK describes what I just wrote about. I can't follow it, and I'm an engineer!
"Grab a piece of paper and pencil as visualizing that which follows
aids understanding and makes it easier to remember. Consider a
number line from negative one (-1) through zero (0) to positive
one (+1) where -1 represents "100% heterosexual", 0 represents
"100% bisexual" and +1 represents "100% homosexual", i.e.
perfectly straight, perfectly bi or perfectly gay respectively.
Excepting asexual persons, all individuals lay some place (i.e.
one place) on the line and that position typically moves little
during their lifetime. This is the B (Beta) point.
"TGurls have TWO places on the line however. The first is the point
representing their male persona (B) and it follows the pattern
stated above that it typically doesn't move (static). That is a
male who crossdresses is NOT going to move right (positive) on the
line ("more gay") while in "boy mode" simply because he is also a
TGurl.
"The TGurl however has a second point (T, tau) corresponding to her
female persona that is ALWAYS located to the right of her "male
point". The difference between the two is called her "positive (or
right) offset" (D, delta). For example a predominantly
heterosexual (in male mode) may have a B of-.95 and a T of -.90 as
a gurl. Offset D is defined as T minus B. In this example
-.90-(-.95) or an offset of .05. (In the event one's mathematics
education is well behind them, subtracting a negative number is
the same as adding its positive equivalent.) D0 (D zero) is also
referred to as the "initial offset". This offset may be so small
as to be undetectable or conversely very large. Websites and/or
profiles are common wherein TGurls admit to being "bi-curious when
dressed" (i.e. not having acted nor necessarily contemplating
acting on such curiosity when in gurl mode). These individuals are
honest enough to admit the existence of the offset in general and
that it applies to them in particular. Once rare as hen's teeth,
these gurls are more in evidence as time passes.
"This second point (T) is NOT essentially static as the first point
(B) discussed above but has shown a consistent tendency to move
right. This is called "positive (or right) drift". Amount of drift
(r, lowercase rho) varies from gurl to gurl just as offset does,
from a very low (slow) rate to a high (fast) rate. Therefore,
drift increases the offset over time. Rate of drift (R, uppercase
rho) is usually expressed as a percentage of the offset. Thus r
(lower case rho, the absolute value) divided by D times 100 equals
R (uppercase rho). This is expressed R = r/Dx100. Offset
progresses from D0 to D1 to D2 to....Dn. A TGurl with a small
offset and low drift is unlikely to become bi active UNLESS the
rate of drift is increased. TGurls with a high offset are
essentially powerless to prevent such activity indefinitely. All
gurls move right (positive) but some so slowly that they never get
to the point where they take an ACTIVE sexual interest in men.
This point A (alpha) also varies from gurl to gurl. Locating it is
important both for wives who want to encourage such activity and
also for those who would discourage it. Once this threshold (A) is
crossed retreat or cessation is unlikely. Once the offset reaches
the alpha point the die is cast."
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
|
# Posted: 27 Jun 2008 21:32:43
Reply
Steven,
Have you thought about how your wife knows this "special doctor?" This is probably the source of the med's that caused your previous impotence.
You should ask your wife what her reasons are for wanting you to start hormones:
1. Grow breasts
2. Chemical castration and impotence
3. Feel more docile - feminine
4. Loss of libido (sex drive)
5. Unable to orgasm
etc.
I suspect one thing that "repulses" her most about your maleness are seeing your erections. She probably wants to cause impotence. If you do start hormones, your should understand clearly what your getting into. They can cause severe depression, ostoprious, liver damage, etc. Two separate issues are involved - 1. blocking testosterone; 2. adding estrogen; Each one has different issues.
I still recommend waiting for any of this, but the question is - what is your wife trying to achieve?
SFD
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 3 Jul 2008 20:26:03
Reply
SB,
How's your new arrangement working out? How do you feel about it? Have you talked anymore with your wife?
SFD
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 5 Jul 2008 20:09:41
Reply
Steven,
I've followed your story for over a year and provided you early warnings of where your wife was headed based on her choice of femmeyourhubby methods. My early warnings were removed from the site when I temporarily cancelled my membership.
I believe you're struggling with repulsion (fear) from having sex with men, but I'm only guessing. I suggest you chose on of these three paths:
1. Go see a therapist to talk about your situation.
2. Try m4m massage to try getting comfortable being touched by a man.
3. Consider getting a divorce. I don't think you want divorce, but if you think about it, it will help you clarify your thinking about your options.
As I said, it takes time to overcome repulsion to about having sex with men. Your wife hasn't provided adjustment time for you, she hasn't maintained control or dominance to take you down this path. I suspect she doesn't want to dominate you, rather just to make you impotent and fem, and be your life long friend.
She said she wants you to have sex with her boyfriends. That's part of being a woman. It's not repulsive for a woman, as it is for you. I think this is what you're stuggling with.
Best wishes Steven. PM me if you want.
SFD
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 10 Jul 2008 16:10:51
Reply
SB,
It's been two weeks. How are you doing?
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 18 Jul 2008 16:42:00
Reply
Quick update, going well, Jenn took me shopping and we have stretd building up my female wardrobe. She let me go in male mode but said that next time it will be a girls shopping day.
She said I wont go in public until I look good enough. Shopping was actually quite fun and we bought some lovely things, it was a bit hard to judge sizes etc, withoiut trying on, but Jenn was quite good with her estimates. I ahve been dressing a bit at home and now sleep girly every night. Jenn has been letting me sleep in her bed now that I am all soft and smooth and pretty. She wants me to grow my haoir long and wear a ponytail at work.
Jenn had a date with a new guy last week, she never brought him home and was out till 2am. Other than that its been quite quiet, I await teh enxt development. SFD thanks for all teh great advice and concern, I am happy at the moment and still very commited to staying with Jenn
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 19 Jul 2008 13:38:35
Reply
SB,
I'm glad that you're happy with what's happening. What's happening with hormones? You really should consider laser or electrolysis for your beard.
SFD
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2008 15:40:15
Reply
Nothing said about hormones, but we have been looking into Laser for face and chest, although I dont have much body hair, she wnast none at all.
She is meeting a new guy for a drink tomorrow, see what happens
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Brutus2
Member
929
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2008 18:31:00
Reply
...hope she fucks him !!! Hope u lick her...
Fanatique de l'infidelite feminine
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Little Boy
Member
86
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# Posted: 30 Jul 2008 05:01:40
Reply
Dear Stevie,
I'm sure you'll look so sweet and feminine in your lingerie!
XO
LB
PS Hormones can be good for what ails you 
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 31 Jul 2008 16:27:02
Reply
Bit of an update
She didnt come home the other night texed me to say shes "going back to his place to fuck" next day all she told me was he was enormous, by far the biggest shes had so far and that it was amazing, he really stretched her.
She keeps buying me girls items, almost daily, yesterday were 2 new bras, the day before, a ring and a bracelet. I had my first laser treatment teh other day too, it was quite painful, but bearable. It will be good not having to hsave twice a day. Jenn insists I keep my face as smooth as possible.
I am spending most of my time at home enfemm now, it hasnt been too bad, I think i will get used to it over time. She had allowed me to sleep in her bed and some night we have a kiss and cuddle. She has now decided that teh only way I can orgasm is by rubbing myslef through my panties, she says its not ladylike to take out my little clitty and pull on it, and seeing its so small anyway its probably not worth teh bother anyway. She hasnt touched me in that way for weeks, I have to rub myslef to orgasm when she allows me to.
She hasn't mentioned hormones again.
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melbhusb
Member
21
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# Posted: 31 Jul 2008 16:37:48
Reply
SB, wow you have it so good, this is the best thread on this site, i can't wait for your updates, keep up the great work.
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 1 Aug 2008 03:26:03
Reply
SB,
I'm not sure how old you are. Do you have any issues with male pattern baldness? A good first reason for some hormones would be to address that since you're trying to grow your hair long, and obviously shouldn't be bald.
SFD
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 1 Aug 2008 17:09:48
Reply
SFD, I have a decent crop actually. I am 40 soon, mrs is 36. Melbhusb thanks for teh encouragement, it has been quite a journey, but mostly I have loved it. Still not totally with the femminization, but its getting easier by the day. I am getting quite good with makeup, she spent a lot of time teaching me, and I think I am starting to look quite good.
LB thanks too, are you on hormones?
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melbhusb
Member
21
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# Posted: 2 Aug 2008 09:18:52
Reply
SB any chance of a picture of Chloe?
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 2 Aug 2008 16:58:08
Reply
SB
Almost 40................
Get ready for beginning to age
Bi-focals
Baldness
Fallen arches...........
etc, etc
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 3 Aug 2008 00:04:20
Reply
sb,
Have you thought why you're still not comfortable with the feminization? I still think it's the gay sex. I still recommend a m4m massage. Have you thought about that? It's seems like you're just letting your wife lead you.
sfd
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 3 Aug 2008 16:21:35
Reply
SFD, i think thats the whole point, she is leading me, thats the way it is and the way it will be and on balance the way I wnat it to be too. Whilst I dont love the femminization, I am not hating it anymore and its worth it, as I love the rest of the changes to our marriage and life. I love the feeling of being cucked, I love it when shes out having a great time and when she is getting the enjoyment that I was incapable of offerring her.
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 3 Aug 2008 19:20:45
Reply
sb
OK, but have you talked to her about where she led you that ended up being almost r-a-p-e, without opportunity to slowly workout your inhibitions toward sex with men?
sfd
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 3 Aug 2008 19:23:39
Reply
sb,
This event gave her what she was looking for to fully de-masculinize you in her mind. It certainly didn't let you, in your mind, work into your new role.
Women and men learn about sex through a process, usually as teenagers. First, looking at eyes, then holding hands, then kissing, then petting, etc.
sfd
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sb64
Member
135
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# Posted: 5 Aug 2008 16:20:29
Reply
SFD, Jenn and I have discussed that night and we both agree that it couldnt have happendd in a better way. Why put off the inevitable, what would the point have been to slowly get there? thats what I am good for, I cant satify a women so at least I can satisfy a man.
Looking back it was a very humiliating experience, but i loved that feeling of total helplessness. To recall Ian saying you have my sperm in you, still sends shivers down my spine.
I fact I must admit, I am hoping that Jenn brings Ian back for another session one day soon.
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sillyfemdude
Member
45
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# Posted: 7 Aug 2008 05:28:51
Reply
sb,
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disrespect your wife. I'm not making my point.
You said (and have said before that you're not totally comfortable with feminization - "mostly I have loved it. Still not totally with the femminization..." I think you're not comfortable with having sex with a man.
How do you feel about being touched by a man? How do you feel about touching a man's penis? How do you feel about sucking a penis? How do you feel about kissing a man? (Kissing is often much more intimate that full sex.) Is any of this repulsive to you? I imagine it is, and I believe that's what's holding up your comfort with feminization. That is my theory - am I wrong? Prove it by trying these things with a man.
sfd
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